hey can i ask you something what happends if you you have already tried to get away but she wont leave you alnoe the thing is she keeps comming to talk to me theres no way i can avoid her so i just wanted to stop thinking of her cause it really hurts though i cant tell her to leave cause i care to much for her whenever she ends up breaking up with whoever she's with she always comes to me for help i have already tried to stop talking to her it lasted about 2 weeks until she all of a sudden started taking to me but more pushing at the momment she isnt really taking to me but what i want is to stop thinking of her cause it isnt getting me anywhere and i got depression cause of it:sad: also she knows i have that but i told her it was a different reason and not cause of her
You gotta tell her the truth. You need to get your mind into a position that you will be able to do this. Tell her everything, all the pain you have suffered. You can't have her hanging around with you because she is just opening up old wounds. She is using you too man, when she breaks up with these guys, she comes to you for support, but she never has cared enough about you to ask how you feel about her, the level of attraction that you have for her. You are being too soft man. I did the same stuff, I acted meek and bent over backwards to make her happy.Tell her you're not available to be used by her, either she will take you in because she means the world to you and you would treat her right, or you can't spend time with her anymore. You can't have it any other way man. I care for you, and I was in the same exact position emotionally a month or so ago. ISFPs love people too much, even when they are killing us on the inside, because we love to be a martyr and think we are being selfless. Don't do that man, it doesn't get you anything except a whole lot of pity.
I hope my words are not offending you. I know it's the Truth, at least for me.
Kamajama's right. I'm a girl and I agree 100%... tell her the truth, and if she doesn't choose you, break ties. It's the only way to move on. You need to focus more on yourself to stop putting her above yourself. Ultimately you are the only one in your own drivers' seat. Being a martyr isn't good for anything but a false sense of being noble. Respect for yourself is much more attractive to the opposite sex. When you are in a healthy place with yourself, you have the most to offer someone else. And there are plenty of girls out there that you can't even imagine right now. I've suffered from clinical depression too.
Either way involves pain; sharp & fast pain is over with and then begins to heal.
Dragging pain out, I think is much worse.
hey guys umm im an isfp and well i was Diagnosis with depression and im seeking help already but well i would like to ask you guys for a little help you see my depression is really rooted to this one friend of mine she is basicly the problem but she hasnt done anything wrong the thing is that she was the first and only girl in my whole life to ever really take an interest in me ive never had a girlfriend or been close to any girls the thing is that she made me open up to her we kept talking and taking about everything and anything and well for the last month or so we've stopped taking like that but i still want to i cant stop thinking of her and i want to spend time with her and whenever im not with her i start to think about wanting to talk to her but i cant and i start getting depressed so in short i want to ask you other isfp's if you have ever had this experiance and if you guys can help me get over thinking of her or my need for her please help i'll take any suggestions k
Some punctuation would be phenomenal. Throw in some commas, a few periods, maybe a capitalized letter in there or two. My eyes flew through your entire post, picked up speed and the little "reading voice" in my head sounded like a tape recorder on fast forward. Sorry, just thought I should share that.
I'm going to go ahead and reply to the title of the thread first.But seriously, it sucks dude and I feel for you. Talk to her, tell her how you feel, and if her feelings aren't reciprocated then break all ties. If you can't be friends and not have feelings for her (which it sounds like you wouldn't be able to) then you just need to cut her off completely. Who knows, maybe in a few months she'll realize that her life is missing something without you and she'll come crawling back. But if you cut her off, meet some new people you'll forget all about her. Trust me, there are lots of women in the world to fall in love with, why waste your time on one who doesn't love you back.
hey umm guys i am now not talking to her anymore but i didn’t tell her to leave me alone i just not accepting her calls anymore and i transferred out of her classes and probably not talk to her at all unless we run into each other in the halls but well now i feel a little depressed that i wont see her again that much and am more depressed cause it made me realize how sexually awkward and repressed I am
My short answer is no. There is no easy way to accomplish it. Just know yourself, know your hang-ups and pitfalls. Know that you get attached easily. But never think you shouldn't be yourself around girls, that you have to twist the truth about yourself to make yourself more attractive to girls. I wouldn't call it outright lying, but it is a form of hiding the truth, pandering to them, trying to be the perfect friend, and then the perfect boyfriend, and then the perfect husband. It is impossible to be this way without slowly dying on the inside. You are human with flaws, and when you get the urge to twist the truth, even just for a second to get a girl to like you more, don't do it. I did it, again and again. I got her to tell me she "loved" me because I was such a "devoted friend" to her, when I actually wanted her for so much more. All the truth-twisting and the lies were worthless to me at the end, even though I got close to her. It was like the bottom fell out from under me. It didn't matter to me at all that she told me she loved me or she cared about me, because she didn't care about me even half as intensely as I cared for her. This is what I feared for you, that you would think that being a martyr and trying to get her to like you would get you places, when time and time again I came up disappointed with my results, even when I gave 100% every day in the relationship, for nearly one solid year. I got nothing in return but experience. And I hope to share that with you.so I ask again to you guy is there anyway to be more you know open or out there with the opposite sex
Yes. This is why I left her. I couldn't be her friend without having feelings for her. So I got out. And it worked. I think she is reactionary, petty, and immature, with terrible choice in friends.Some punctuation would be phenomenal. Throw in some commas, a few periods, maybe a capitalized letter in there or two. My eyes flew through your entire post, picked up speed and the little "reading voice" in my head sounded like a tape recorder on fast forward. Sorry, just thought I should share that.
But seriously, it sucks dude and I feel for you. Talk to her, tell her how you feel, and if her feelings aren't reciprocated then break all ties. If you can't be friends and not have feelings for her (which it sounds like you wouldn't be able to) then you just need to cut her off completely. Who knows, maybe in a few months she'll realize that her life is missing something without you and she'll come crawling back. But if you cut her off, meet some new people you'll forget all about her. Trust me, there are lots of women in the world to fall in love with, why waste your time on one who doesn't love you back.
The last thing you need right now, is to depend on meeting girls for self esteem. I know it's very hard to wait.
But you will be a lot more confident after healing yourself.
Focus on activities you can enjoy by yourself, and friendship with your guy pals.
After you've gotten a healthy view of yourself, start talking to girls just like a friend. Don't be too shy to say something.