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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I'm creating this thread under a state of depression, I've been in treatment for almost 3 years now. I know this much better so I'll be clear, this has been my natural state of mood almost all my life, althought customs are troublesome, I'm referring more to the person I know I am, my way of feeling reality as well as my way of thinking will put me down on this track over and over, unless... only I know.

The reason I'm creating this post is because I feel that a lot of people have or are suffering this illness (you're in your right place if you think otherwise but keep it to yourself, please). For what I've seen, this forum is a very safe place, there are a lot of nice people in here, that is good but I know that depression can keep you away from people. This illness is usually accompanied by others. So, if you think about it there are probably cases with less chances of recovery than others. As much as I want to overcome this and hope others do so too, my intention is to accompany those who are depressed rather than trying to help them or cure them. Why? I believe the best partner one has is oneself, but a hand to touch, someone to walk with, that currently is feeling what you are feeling, that can understand you, can be a heavenly gift.

"You're in your right place if you think otherwise but keep it to yourself", the reason I wrote that is not for being mean, is because my intention here is not establishing a debate. "My intention is to accompany those who are depressed rather than trying to help them or cure them", I most sincerely want to create that ambient in here. I want people to feel enough safety here to express themselves and having no one to tell them they are mistaken.

If this thread is not to be accepted given the nature of the forum and its rules. Then please, moderators feel free to do your job.

Having said that. How does depression look like? What is that you are feeling right now? What is the state of your mind right now? You don't need to answer just express yourself through whatever you feel comfortable with: A song, a quote, an image, a video, a movie, poetry, etc.

I'm sharing this video. It relates to my experiences and feelings throughout my life. IT IS VERY GRAPHIC.


Don't be ashamed of the darkness within you.
 

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I swear less than a year ago I would have made a transcription of that video of yours. Depression has many faces: monster-like, completely self-destructive, passive, boredom... for me right now is like YouTube ads: skip, dislike, whatever, I have something else in mind; surprisingly enough, I'm now functional. I'm fine except for the hours I remember that huge ass problem is still there and won't leave simply because I ignore it, and when I laugh so hard I start crying of pure mental pain, or when I simply think of it really...

Anyway, mental state.
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I could play many scenes from Bojack, or even Tony Soprano and his ducks, but I guess it's irrelevant either way. Really sorry to read an idea of what you're going through, I hope you have someone/something to rely on. Please stay safe, there are many questions yet to be answered... And there's not much I can really say because, as I tried to imply, I haven't overcome it, my brain just decided to make our toxins work this time. I'm lucky that the pain right now is not immobilizing, but just like it happened to me out of nowhere (after years of hospitalizations in mental institutions and stuff), I think it could happen to anyone else. I really hope so. After all, what's life but a dream?

Sueña el rey que es rey, y vive
con este engaño mandando,
disponiendo y gobernando;
y este aplauso, que recibe
prestado, en el viento escribe,
y en cenizas le convierte
la muerte, ¡desdicha fuerte!
¿Que hay quien intente reinar,
viendo que ha de despertar
en el sueño de la muerte?

Sueña el rico en su riqueza,
que más cuidados le ofrece;
sueña el pobre que padece
su miseria y su pobreza;
sueña el que a medrar empieza,
sueña el que afana y pretende,
sueña el que agravia y ofende,
y en el mundo, en conclusión,
todos sueñan lo que son,
aunque ninguno lo entiende.

Yo sueño que estoy aquí
destas prisiones cargado,
y soñé que en otro estado
más lisonjero me vi.
¿Qué es la vida? Un frenesí.
¿Qué es la vida? Una ilusión,
una sombra, una ficción,
y el mayor bien es pequeño:
que toda la vida es sueño,
y los sueños, sueños son.
- Pedro Calderón de la Barca.
 

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I think it's important for people to talk about this subject. Many people who suffer from depression feel alone and like there's something wrong with them. If people become more used to sharing their stories it might become easier for people to feel like they have a chance to lead a normal life.

Sadly, depression is sometimes a chronic illness. It's not anybody's fault and it's not something that can be cured easily. Seeking help is not always an option because of social stigma, healthcare costs and personal feelings.
The first step is to be honest with yourself about it. Talking about something can make it more real and less like an overpowering force.

I myself have never suffered from actual depression, but I've known many people who have. Sometimes you only learn about it when it's already too late. If people are willing to share their stories more readily and show that depression is a normal part of life, to an extent, we can start to change the way society views it and work towards a world where people who need help can just get it.

Chances are that all of us know a lot of people who suffer from chronic depression but who haven't told anyone, ever. Let's start making the world a safe space to talk about it. It may save lives.
 

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Hello, it is really good that you talk about depression, because mental health needs more attention now than ever. I got a diagnosed a moderate depression (I don't know how it's really called in English) and anxiety disorder. In my case I tend to feel more of my anxiety and my anxiety is mostly bound with social interactions. For example if a friend hasn't reached out to me in a while, I am scared of writing them a message, because I fear they lost interest in the friendship. Most of the times this proves wrong but I always feel this again, even if it turns out not to be true a 1000 times. I wanted to talk in therapy about that soon. I highly fear telephone calls and new situations.

I feel my depression most when I just waste time. I deleted recently my Reddit, because I wasted so much time there when depressed and read depressing things that were more intense than my feelings and I got down a spiral. But I never had social media like facebook or instagram, having this would make me super depressed, to see what the people do around me having fun. What I saw is that some people tend to differ a lot about what they tell me and what they share on their social media. So I trust what they tell me and leave the social media side inexperienced. Last year I found that I really enjoy writing and it helps me tons.

Currently I feel confused, because my school is closed and next week another lockdown starts here but my school opens again. It came really unexpected to me. My state of mind right now is that I tend to worry a lot, rumination is going crazy (btw rumination is one thing that I do as well a lot).
 

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Discussion Starter #5
@Nannerl , @Drecon , @Inkling considered INFJ BIG HUGS to the three of you

There are a lot of "maybes" in this world... Maybe there's nothing wrong with us, maybe that's what we are, maybe feeling this has a bigger reason, a necessary one.

"We don’t survive by finding a way out of our traps. We survive by realizing we’re not alone in them. Half the hurt is feeling alone. Once you realize that’s not true, that everyone knows how this feels—it just becomes a matter of acknowledging the pain. That’s the way out." A comment I found in the video I shared.
 

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This is just my story and my advices. When I was depressed it felt like I was passing through a black tunnel so to speak, there was a heavy feeling and I could start to cry anywhere at anytime without beeing able to stop. I have a depression a lot in my life, often combined with anxiety, ptsd and panic attacks. I think that only time can heal it. But in the meentime its good to do such things as playing guitar or express the darkness through art, and write a diery where you write down every time things starts to feel somewhat good again so you can see the patterns. I believe you should express your feelings, nail down how you feel, but don't use those nails to make your own grave so to speak. I try to go out daily, do different things to distract your self for example homework work , physical activity, art, audiobooks, gaming, making food etc., keep up your looks and hygiene to feel better of your self and retain a sense of dignity and if it get really bad you can try anti-depressants. Personally I got nightmares from them so I had to stop. Dancing can help. I like to paint and dance zumba. Maybe others would prefer something else. It feels as though it never gets better but it usually does in time. There is a CBT app that is very usefull to me, it's called Excel at Life. It can take some time to understand it but please dont give up because it could be really usefull! Right now I'm not sure if I have a depression or if its just a difficult life I live, but I think it has to do with my situation. Tight economy, private things I don't want to talk about, corona situation makes things worse in several ways for example socially and study-wise. I am having a midlife crises too. I think it will get a lot better in the spring and summer. I try to find lots of things to look forward to and be greatful for. I don't drink spirits anymore, even though it seems to help for a shortwhile I would end up doing stupid things and feel horrible in the morning. I still drink beer in the weekends sometimes though. I can really recommend a med called Melatonin if you can't sleep- it's not like the usual sleeping meds, this one worked for me without most of the downsides.If you can take care of an animal that is great too, but only if you know you can handle it. Maybe a cat would be good.
 

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I'm creating this thread under a state of depression, I've been in treatment for almost 3 years now. I know this much better so I'll be clear, this has been my natural state of mood almost all my life, althought customs are troublesome, I'm referring more to the person I know I am, my way of feeling reality as well as my way of thinking will put me down on this track over and over, unless... only I know.
I don't personally associate darkness with depression because darkness is only a shade of colour to me and nothing more even though I'm a writer who knows that characters from stories and people that were born into this world have their own perspective of what darkness is.

The reason I'm creating this post is because I feel that a lot of people have or are suffering this illness (you're in your right place if you think otherwise but keep it to yourself, please). For what I've seen, this forum is a very safe place, there are a lot of nice people in here, that is good but I know that depression can keep you away from people. This illness is usually accompanied by others. So, if you think about it there are probably cases with less chances of recovery than others. As much as I want to overcome this and hope others do so too, my intention is to accompany those who are depressed rather than trying to help them or cure them. Why? I believe the best partner one has is oneself, but a helping hand, someone to walk with, that currently is feeling what you are feeling, that can understand you, can be a heavenly gift.
Depression is something that a lot of people deal with considering that poverty, disease, health disorders, military terrorism, religious terrorism, homophobia, racism, sexism, sexual abuse, abusive parents, death, the people from the beauty industry that cause anorexia and eating disorders that cause mental disorders such as depression, the people from the entertainment industry that cause a lot of chaos that makes the entertainers be negligent parents when they are not raising stable families because of chaos that increases the chance of the entertainers' children having depression when their parents are not raising them properly, the people from the music industry that enable depression because the music artists become pawns of psychological exploitation when they allow music to corrupt them, and other things exist. There's a reason why children from a family of entertainers usually start becoming drug addicts, alcoholics, emotionally unstable, etc. Steven Tyler who is the lead singer from Aerosmith was a negligent parent who got corrupted by drugs, alcohol, fame, and other things that made him not be suitable to raise a child properly because he was the complete opposite of civilised, especially since he is an arrogant singer who made overrated music, but America's uncivilised society already sold its soul to allow entertainers like him to have custody of his children that were becoming unstable and depressed because of him from his negligence. This is why I don't take American society seriously since it's interested in making money more than raising children properly, which is why average Americans are emotionally and mentally unstable more than the other people from other countries, especially since America's increased wealth inequality is causing average Americans to be dumber and emotionally gullible.

I most sincerely want to create that ambient in here. I want people to feel enough safety here to express themselves and having no one to tell them they are mistaken.
The reason why I like going to PersonalityCafe.com is because I have more freedom of speech on here more than most online forums even though I find that PersonalityCafe.com has become a shallow and superficial forum because of its rule against necroposting that prevents people from being able to post on very old threads because of PersonalityCafe.com promoting threads that are hot and trendy in a shallow and superficial way because they are new instead of very old. Necroposting can prevent people from making a bunch of threads that can make forums look cleaner. Otherwise, I feel like I can be myself on here because I haven't been banned yet. I've been banned on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media platforms that are promoting propaganda through censorship and banning people's accounts to benefit the rich and powerful parasites who care about money and power more than logic and facts considering that those social media platforms are being controlled by cancel culture psychos who only care about themselves by promoting closedminded echo chambers on their own platforms through censorship.

I'm sharing this video. It relates to my experiences and feelings throughout my life. IT IS VERY GRAPHIC.
Okay, I'll watch that video.

I would say that depression comes from the result of living in a world that is not fair 24/7 for everyone because people are not always happy, perfect, and immortal so people don't have to suffer when their loved ones die.

I have refrained from drinking alcohol, doing drugs, eating too much, being friends with sadistic bullies, and other things because I have clinical depression and I would rather have peace and quiet. I've inherited depression from my father because my father's biological father was an emotionally unstable alcoholic who was a crazy racist.
 

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
I don't personally associate darkness with depression because darkness is only a shade of colour to me and nothing more even though I'm a writer who knows that characters from stories and people that were born into this world have their own perspective of what darkness is.



Depression is something that a lot of people deal with considering that poverty, disease, health disorders, military terrorism, religious terrorism, homophobia, racism, sexism, sexual abuse, abusive parents, death, the people from the beauty industry that cause anorexia and eating disorders that cause mental disorders such as depression, the people from the entertainment industry that cause a lot of chaos that makes the entertainers be negligent parents when they are not raising stable families because of chaos that increases the chance of the entertainers' children having depression when their parents are not raising them properly, the people from the music industry that enable depression because the music artists become pawns of psychological exploitation when they allow music to corrupt them, and other things exist. There's a reason why children from a family of entertainers usually start becoming drug addicts, alcoholics, emotionally unstable, etc. Steven Tyler who is the lead singer from Aerosmith was a negligent parent who got corrupted by drugs, alcohol, fame, and other things that made him not be suitable to raise a child properly because he was the complete opposite of civilised, especially since he is an arrogant singer who made overrated music, but America's uncivilised society already sold its soul to allow entertainers like him to have custody of his children that were becoming unstable and depressed because of him from his negligence. This is why I don't take American society seriously since it's interested in making money more than raising children properly, which is why average Americans are emotionally and mentally unstable more than the other people from other countries, especially since America's increased wealth inequality is causing average Americans to be dumber and emotionally gullible.



The reason why I like going to PersonalityCafe.com is because I have more freedom of speech on here more than most online forums even though I find that PersonalityCafe.com has become a shallow and superficial forum because of its rule against necroposting that prevents people from being able to post on very old threads because of PersonalityCafe.com promoting threads that are hot and trendy in a shallow and superficial way because they are new instead of very old. Necroposting can prevent people from making a bunch of threads that can make forums look cleaner. Otherwise, I feel like I can be myself on here because I haven't been banned yet. I've been banned on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media platforms that are promoting propaganda through censorship and banning people's accounts to benefit the rich and powerful parasites who care about money and power more than logic and facts considering that those social media platforms are being controlled by cancel culture psychos who only care about themselves by promoting closedminded echo chambers on their own platforms through censorship.



Okay, I'll watch that video.

I would say that depression comes from the result of living in a world that is not fair 24/7 for everyone because people are not always happy, perfect, and immortal so people don't have to suffer when their loved ones die.
You are an interesting individual. Thanks for sharing. :)

Having such a broad perspective of this world, has not made you feel depressed or disappointed of us, humans?
 

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Q: How does depression look like?

Well, that is a complicated topic because depression manifests in different way for different people. The most common signs of depression are insomnia, being unable or unwilling to wake up in the morning, losing interest in topics you once had interest in, developing one of the three major clusters of personality disorders, becoming sociopathic and in rare cases exhibiting signs of psychopathy, becoming unambitious and believing oneself to be futile, etc.

There's a lot of research on how depression exhibits itself. There're a lot of websites on the topic of depression, but here's one that would be suitable for the most dysfunctional signs of depression:

 

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I think it's important for people to talk about this subject. Many people who suffer from depression feel alone and like there's something wrong with them. If people become more used to sharing their stories it might become easier for people to feel like they have a chance to lead a normal life.
Not sure if that's okay. I hate to be that person, but many people claim to have depression and then post only about that. They spam and flood all places with nothing but depression and they as a rule write nothing but about depression. Frankly they piss me off as they at best were just somewhat sad for some period and then think it's cool to write about it (it's not, it's a serious condition). When enough people like that accumulate in some place the real depression (and to be honest I don't really see clearly the line between sad person and depressed person) gets its value diluted. Secondly, I think it's a personal thing and I don't see a reason for everyone to announce that you have it. Threads about asking something are okay, but announcements suck. I don't really want to constantly sad care bears whining (it's a bit ironic) all the time. And once a person feel that depression is a good topic to post about, such person will be posting just that. And that's not okay. Why? Because person should show that that there's still something there that makes them a person, not constant walking depression with nothing in between.
 

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I think depression has a lot to do with feeling hopeless. It can happen for a number of reasons like being disappointed with life and people in general. I can relate to an extent as I’ve been depressed a couple of times in my life, although I think it wasn’t heavy depression I was dealing with. It was very hard so of course I can imagine how hard it must be when it’s long lasting. I am sorry you have to live with it for such a long time, it’s of course a huge challenge to overcome, daily. If you ever need venting or support you can talk here on the forum or PM me, okay? 🙂
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I think depression has a lot to do with feeling hopeless. It can happen for a number of reasons like being disappointed with life and people in general. I can relate to an extent as I’ve been depressed a couple of times in my life, although I think it wasn’t heavy depression I was dealing with. It was very hard so of course I can imagine how hard it must be when it’s long lasting. I am sorry you have to live with it for such a long time, it’s of course a huge challenge to overcome, daily. If you ever need venting or support you can talk here on the forum or PM me, okay? 🙂
Thank you. I will have that in mind. :giggle:
 

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You are an interesting individual. Thanks for sharing. :)

Having such a broad perspective of this world, has not made you feel depressed or disappointed of us, humans?
I've been disappointed with humans since I was 8 years old because I'm a perfectionist to some extent. The people from social services claim that I have O.C.D., but I call it being perfectionistic. What I've done in the past is realise that I have low agreeableness in regards to cooperating with people because I question authority, I question people, I question traditions, and I question other things instead of being easily controlled by social norms. I had a hard time blending in with society because of that, especially since I'm an outspoken biological female who doesn't want to promote sexist double standards and I don't want to sell my soul for money, power, sex, fame, sex appeal, and other things. I find it impossible for me to tolerate flaws and I'm not masochistic, which is why I find it hard to live in this world that I was born into because if I were to choose a place that I would be born into, it wouldn't be this place because this world is hell to me and I was born with inherited clinical depression because my father's biological father was an emotionally unstable alcoholic.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Not sure if that's okay. I hate to be that person, but many people claim to have depression and then post only about that. They spam and flood all places with nothing but depression and they as a rule write nothing but about depression. Frankly they piss me off as they at best were just somewhat sad for some period and then think it's cool to write about it (it's not, it's a serious condition). When enough people like that accumulate in some place the real depression (and to be honest I don't really see clearly the line between sad person and depressed person) gets its value diluted. Secondly, I think it's a personal thing and I don't see a reason for everyone to announce that you have it. Threads about asking something are okay, but announcements suck. I don't really want to constantly sad care bears whining (it's a bit ironic) all the time. And once a person feel that depression is a good topic to post about, such person will be posting just that. And that's not okay. Why? Because person should show that that there's still something there that makes them a person, not constant walking depression with nothing in between.
:sigh: Not going to argue that. Let's just see what this thread turns into. Maybe it will be forgotten and you won't need to bother.
 

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To me too. Buddhist call it Samsara. In short humans are bound to suffer and cause suffering because of their/our? own stupid nature.
I think it is not only stupidity that causes suffering because I think people are vulnerable animals that are vulnerable to health disorders that cause suffering if they don't inherit lucky genes that make them more likely to be wealthy, smart enough, happy enough, and healthy enough. I knew people who had to work harder to have healthy bodies than other people, people who took antidepressants to be happier because they inherited clinical depression, people who had to work harder to succeed in school and their careers because they didn't inherit very sharp minds that think quickly with excellent ability to remember things at the right times, and people who had to work harder to be wealthy, especially if they weren't born into rich families that give them inherited opportunities to succeed in life.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I think it is not only stupidity that causes suffering because I think people are vulnerable animals that are vulnerable to health disorders that cause suffering if they don't inherit lucky genes that make them more likely to be wealthy, smart enough, happy enough, and healthy enough. I knew people who had to work harder to have healthy bodies than other people, people who took antidepressants to be happier because they inherited clinical depression, people who had to work harder to succeed in school and their careers because they didn't inherit very sharp minds that think quickly with excellent ability to remember things at the right times, and people who had to work harder to be wealthy, especially if they weren't born into rich families that give them inherited opportunities to succeed in life.
That's a more sympathetic answer. A better one too.
 

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People who are mentally (or biologically) suffering can do and say stuff they would never say or do otherwise- for example a friend of mine who had schizophrenia thought they had a bunny in their ear who spoke to them. The person doesn't do or say that when not psychotic. Therefore I think it could be good to know such things.
 
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