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How does exactly Se act in social interactions?

What are the signs that the person is a Se-user?

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Only from past experiences :

On the quieter side. A lot of the ones I've met had very relaxed energies to them, not uptight and seemed comfortable. There's not an awkwardness with their positioning and tenseness to how they sit, etc. A lot seemed to appreciate some type of 'experience' through interaction. For example:

ISFP friend: adores nature, when we interact she likes to be outside. That outsides and scenery often becomes part of the conversation, what she is seeing, ducks, water etc.
ESTP: always goes hiking with me. Absolutely loves exploring new places, sketchy neighborhoods, abandoned places. Conversations tailors around this as we experience it together.
With all the auxilary or dominant extroverted Se users I've experienced, they've never been excessively chatty and, like mentioned, really appreciated interaction through a sort of experience (even if it just involves the scenery around them).
 

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How does exactly Se act in social interactions?

What are the signs that the person is a Se-user?

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Very usual and simple example: Se users trust those people the most who talk from their first-hand personal experience. Se users are impressed when someone has actually participated in something, even if only symbolically showing the support.

That also becomes a problem sometimes, because it implies that Se-users have quite limited perspective on issues where it is not that simple to gain first-hand experiences (such as politics, wars, social issues etc). I have had quite a lot of trouble discussing things with Se-users where something is learned by the example of others, or from second-hand source, but not from first-hand experience.

Easy example: There are two people who step in the room:

A) There is a person who is an absolute expert on North Korea because of extensive research, they have made thesis about it and have huge base of knowledge on the issues and problems of North Korea. They have made surveys, research, read many books about it, watched documentaries etc. know almost everything there is to know. Maybe the person is even an advisor in some organization or institution on North Korea relations.

B) There is a person who knows only little about North Korea, but has actually been there as a tourist for a week.

Se-users might know that person A is more knowledgeable than person B, but they still naturally trust the person B's information much more, even if the stories s/he speaks may sound contradicting.

It's not about just that people in general trust first-hand sources more easily and naturally - it's a quirk of Se-types that their first response is to lean towards people speaking from first-hand experience, and only then they consider the people talking from second-hand experience.

Other types are usually considering different qualities - Ni-types, for example, find that the person who conveys the most logically connected and sequential information to be most trustworthy, and someone who speaks rather incoherently or in a random, aloof manner is found to be least trustworthy. Ne-types begin to naturally trust those whose stories are more engaging or intiguing. Si-types naturally trust those who have the biggest authority to speak on the issue - meaning that they naturally trust the one who is actually most involved in the issue.

At the same time, Se-types have an advantage too - that when someone has a very honest first-hand experience, they hardly doubt that it actually happened - you can be sure that Se-types will not mindfuck you about things like "did it actually happen? maybe it was a dream? are sure this is what you saw and heard? are you telling a lie just to look interesting?", which means the conversation with Se-types (xSxP's) can be more straightforward in that manner.
 

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If they are first introverted, they are mute for long periods of time.

After maybe 20 minutes they will loudly and confidently state an observation.

"It's cold!"

"The food is terrible!"

"The weather is great!"

And then be quiet for the next 15 minutes, or they will repeat the statement. I believe repeating the same statement is a learned social behavior to appear more talkative even though they can't think of anything else to say.

They don't provide much more than that unless you're one of the 2-3 people closest to them.
 

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Only from past experiences :

On the quieter side. A lot of the ones I've met had very relaxed energies to them, not uptight and seemed comfortable. There's not an awkwardness with their positioning and tenseness to how they sit, etc. A lot seemed to appreciate some type of 'experience' through interaction. For example:

ISFP friend: adores nature, when we interact she likes to be outside. That outsides and scenery often becomes part of the conversation, what she is seeing, ducks, water etc.
ESTP: always goes hiking with me. Absolutely loves exploring new places, sketchy neighborhoods, abandoned places. Conversations tailors around this as we experience it together.
With all the auxilary or dominant extroverted Se users I've experienced, they've never been excessively chatty and, like mentioned, really appreciated interaction through a sort of experience (even if it just involves the scenery around them).
Show don't tell and activity relations. They engage people via body language, hand gestures, paying attention. More dominant Se users will engage via activities, outdoor sporting and and exercising being the obvious ones.
If they are first introverted, they are mute for long periods of time.

After maybe 20 minutes they will loudly and confidently state an observation.

"It's cold!"

"The food is terrible!"

"The weather is great!"

And then be quiet for the next 15 minutes, or they will repeat the statement. I believe repeating the same statement is a learned social behavior to appear more talkative even though they can't think of anything else to say.

They don't provide much more than that unless you're one of the 2-3 people closest to them.
These are all great. Lol, conspiracy.

Also, "Let me tell about all the issues with my truck."


Most Ses I'm friends with, several, are not chatty indeed. Or if they are it's a lot of observations. I adore many of them though. They have a very childlike playful spirit. And drag me out of the house to go to fun stuff.

When drunk, they're still usually playful, but can be a GODDAMN handful.
 

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I observe my environment and people in social situations. I don't literally stare at people. But I'm more aware than people give me credit for because I don't say much. I tend to participate with my surroundings. I like to carve wood. When I go out hiking, I'm often looking for certain types and shapes of wood. I found a cedar a few days ago on a walk with an interesting knot that I'm making a grackle out of. I am listening while people talk, but people seem to think I'm not listening. I can repeat back what they just said word for word. I just don't feel the need to fill the silence.
 

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i know I gain energy from the outside world, people is one of the millions things I can potentially gain energy from. I do not particularly like to join a party full of strangers, I would go out of obligations (like to please a person I value). Once I enter the room, I am completely quiet for a period of time, if someone comes to greet me, that person will get the warmest greet back. If a conversation is then initiated and the topic is of interest to me (even if not, I would show initial interest out of respect), we might end up talking for a long time. It is easy to see warmth and excitement when I feel so, (I do not show 99.9% other feelings). If no one interacts with me, I would be quiet for a long time, scanning the environment, noticing my gutting feelings about every input I gain from my senses, it cannot be explained, (can be enjoyable or feel unsettling to me, other times neutral).
I am naturally good at dancing, as my teacher comments, just have that "sense" in your body, bone and muscle. I feel myself vanished into the air when I dance to a piece music I like. Most times, I do not even control what my body does, it moves by itself according to music.

The type description about ESPF is biased, therefore before I came across function descriptions I thought I was ISFP, even though a psychologist spotted me as ESFP after 2 mins conversation. For the longest time, I did not believe him. Now I do. SeFi are not very "other people" oriented functions, Se can be people related, but not limited to. Maybe that is why some ESFP tend to be super talkative and depend upon others? Maybe they are bored, or their Se is not well developed and lacking its capacity to scan the rest of the world?
 

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@KraChZiMan

Interesting observations.

I would add that I am more concerned with first-hand experiences in relation to the social-world, people, and human systems, etc. I suspect this might be due to Se paired with Fi. I am actually more inclined to listen to the expert who makes the most sense to me, logically. Bare in mind that xSFPs also value Ni and Te, so, we are likely to trust similar sources to xNTJs.
 

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From my limited experiences, they seem to be very blunt. And by blunt, I don't mean they're assholes - it's not like they're necessarily going "that shirt is awful and you're an idiot."

It's more blunt like... if you ask them a question about something and they decide to answer, you're likely to get a very straight answer. Not an answer riddled with double meanings and complex metaphors, but an answer that is to the point and easy to understand because it's just straight meaning, unfettered by qualifiers.
 

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-Very direct and often assertive. Not usually to the degree of a Te dominant, but like what was said above, An SP probably isn't going to answer with a riddle and will probably get irritated with people who do that kind of thing. I know I find Ni crypticness and Ne tangents to be incredibly irritating and I can see how our directness could do the same for them. Personally, I can actually be pretty wordy, but I try to lay my answer out clearly and will say exactly what I mean.
-Will usually prefer to do things rather than talk about things. That's not to say that none of us enjoy theory and talking about more conceptual things, we can. I have at least one 7-8 hour conversation saved on Skype that I had with a friend and I can promise you that it wasn't about the weather or how my truck was doing. It turns out that Se is not the only cognitive function that I have. But I don't see the point in talking about how cool the beach is when you can actually go to the beach, and lay on the beach, get a tan and than go to throw a football in the surf.
-Will be very alert, but potentially distracted by the environment. If an ambulance goes whizzing by in the middle of a conversation, expect the SP to be immediately aware of it and make an inevitable "Hey, look, an ambulance" and probably followed up by a "I wonder what's going on?" which will be followed by investigating what is going on.
-ExSPs are usually pretty fun and sometimes goofy. Not to the level of NPs who usually have a more quirky vibe, but most of us don't take things too seriously. The kind of person that will laugh at and mock a really bad movie instead of nitpick and whine about how bad it is.

If they are first introverted, they are mute for long periods of time.

After maybe 20 minutes they will loudly and confidently state an observation.

"It's cold!"

"The food is terrible!"

"The weather is great!"

And then be quiet for the next 15 minutes, or they will repeat the statement. I believe repeating the same statement is a learned social behavior to appear more talkative even though they can't think of anything else to say.

They don't provide much more than that unless you're one of the 2-3 people closest to them.
This sounds exactly like an ISTP I had a class with last semester.
 

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From my limited experiences, they seem to be very blunt. And by blunt, I don't mean they're assholes - it's not like they're necessarily going "that shirt is awful and you're an idiot."

It's more blunt like... if you ask them a question about something and they decide to answer, you're likely to get a very straight answer. Not an answer riddled with double meanings and complex metaphors, but an answer that is to the point and easy to understand because it's just straight meaning, unfettered by qualifiers.
Basically, this.

It's amusing how much this confuses and shocks some people. xD

Ne types read so much into things I say or do. Unfortunately for them, I am fairly straightforward. I'm pretty much exactly what it says on the tin.

-Very direct and often assertive. Not usually to the degree of a Te dominant, but like what was said above, An SP probably isn't going to answer with a riddle and will probably get irritated with people who do that kind of thing. I know I find Ni crypticness and Ne tangents to be incredibly irritating and I can see how our directness could do the same for them. Personally, I can actually be pretty wordy, but I try to lay my answer out clearly and will say exactly what I mean.
Agreed with the direct and assertive thing.

Your wordiness is probably a Ti-thing? I wouldn't say I'm wordy at all. I find that INTPs are always trying to "correct" my use of words or spend way to much time focusing on the meaning behind words I chose, when I'm just trying to get to the fucking point. xD

I appreciate the Ni perspective way more than I do the Ne tangents; Ni helps me deepen my perspective. Ne just kind of hurts my head after a while. >_>

-Will usually prefer to do things rather than talk about things. That's not to say that none of us enjoy theory and talking about more conceptual things, we can. I have at least one 7-8 hour conversation saved on Skype that I had with a friend and I can promise you that it wasn't about the weather or how my truck was doing. It turns out that Se is not the only cognitive function that I have. But I don't see the point in talking about how cool the beach is when you can actually go to the beach, and lay on the beach, get a tan and than go to throw a football in the surf
Agreed. Nothing beats throwing yourself into the moment, embracing life, and learning through experience. The "doing" comes before the theory/concepts.

I'm dating an INTJ and I love the conversations we have. That dominant Se and dominant Ni jive is awesome.

-Will be very alert, but potentially distracted by the environment. If an ambulance goes whizzing by in the middle of a conversation, expect the SP to be immediately aware of it and make an inevitable "Hey, look, an ambulance" and probably followed up by a "I wonder what's going on?" which will be followed by investigating what is going on.
Haha, so true!

Even today my friend was like, "you just dropped me mid-conversation, wtf is up with that?" (I heard a strange noise coming from downstairs and I was racing towards it in an instance).


-ExSPs are usually pretty fun and sometimes goofy. Not to the level of NPs who usually have a more quirky vibe, but most of us don't take things too seriously. The kind of person that will laugh at and mock a really bad movie instead of nitpick and whine about how bad it is.
Yeah, I'm goofy. I'm pretty fun-loving.

I think ESFPs have a "serious" side that's some kind of manifestation of Fi and Te. They can "switch" from hearty laughter to "serious-face" quite quickly.
 

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Only from past experiences :

On the quieter side. A lot of the ones I've met had very relaxed energies to them, not uptight and seemed comfortable. There's not an awkwardness with their positioning and tenseness to how they sit, etc. A lot seemed to appreciate some type of 'experience' through interaction. For example:

ISFP friend: adores nature, when we interact she likes to be outside. That outsides and scenery often becomes part of the conversation, what she is seeing, ducks, water etc.
ESTP: always goes hiking with me. Absolutely loves exploring new places, sketchy neighborhoods, abandoned places. Conversations tailors around this as we experience it together.
With all the auxilary or dominant extroverted Se users I've experienced, they've never been excessively chatty and, like mentioned, really appreciated interaction through a sort of experience (even if it just involves the scenery around them).
Even though I test 100% extrovert, I am very similar to how you describe. I don't say much until I have time to assess the scene and find someone or something interesting to be social about. Once I do find an interest, it can be difficult to get me to shut up about it.
 
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Very usual and simple example: Se users trust those people the most who talk from their first-hand personal experience. Se users are impressed when someone has actually participated in something, even if only symbolically showing the support.

That also becomes a problem sometimes, because it implies that Se-users have quite limited perspective on issues where it is not that simple to gain first-hand experiences (such as politics, wars, social issues etc). I have had quite a lot of trouble discussing things with Se-users where something is learned by the example of others, or from second-hand source, but not from first-hand experience.

Easy example: There are two people who step in the room:

A) There is a person who is an absolute expert on North Korea because of extensive research, they have made thesis about it and have huge base of knowledge on the issues and problems of North Korea. They have made surveys, research, read many books about it, watched documentaries etc. know almost everything there is to know. Maybe the person is even an advisor in some organization or institution on North Korea relations.

B) There is a person who knows only little about North Korea, but has actually been there as a tourist for a week.

Se-users might know that person A is more knowledgeable than person B, but they still naturally trust the person B's information much more, even if the stories s/he speaks may sound contradicting.

It's not about just that people in general trust first-hand sources more easily and naturally - it's a quirk of Se-types that their first response is to lean towards people speaking from first-hand experience, and only then they consider the people talking from second-hand experience.

Other types are usually considering different qualities - Ni-types, for example, find that the person who conveys the most logically connected and sequential information to be most trustworthy, and someone who speaks rather incoherently or in a random, aloof manner is found to be least trustworthy. Ne-types begin to naturally trust those whose stories are more engaging or intiguing. Si-types naturally trust those who have the biggest authority to speak on the issue - meaning that they naturally trust the one who is actually most involved in the issue.

At the same time, Se-types have an advantage too - that when someone has a very honest first-hand experience, they hardly doubt that it actually happened - you can be sure that Se-types will not mindfuck you about things like "did it actually happen? maybe it was a dream? are sure this is what you saw and heard? are you telling a lie just to look interesting?", which means the conversation with Se-types (xSxP's) can be more straightforward in that manner.
I can't speak for the other types, but I find your comments about Se to be very on point. It is also why we can find academia and theory to be difficult.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Doesn't make much sense. If Se is about enjoying experience together. Where is the fun in conversations? I don't find funny stuff like: "hey look at the ducks"
 

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-Very direct and often assertive. Not usually to the degree of a Te dominant, but like what was said above, An SP probably isn't going to answer with a riddle and will probably get irritated with people who do that kind of thing. I know I find Ni crypticness and Ne tangents to be incredibly irritating and I can see how our directness could do the same for them. Personally, I can actually be pretty wordy, but I try to lay my answer out clearly and will say exactly what I mean.
-Will usually prefer to do things rather than talk about things. That's not to say that none of us enjoy theory and talking about more conceptual things, we can. I have at least one 7-8 hour conversation saved on Skype that I had with a friend and I can promise you that it wasn't about the weather or how my truck was doing. It turns out that Se is not the only cognitive function that I have. But I don't see the point in talking about how cool the beach is when you can actually go to the beach, and lay on the beach, get a tan and than go to throw a football in the surf.
-Will be very alert, but potentially distracted by the environment. If an ambulance goes whizzing by in the middle of a conversation, expect the SP to be immediately aware of it and make an inevitable "Hey, look, an ambulance" and probably followed up by a "I wonder what's going on?" which will be followed by investigating what is going on.
-ExSPs are usually pretty fun and sometimes goofy. Not to the level of NPs who usually have a more quirky vibe, but most of us don't take things too seriously. The kind of person that will laugh at and mock a really bad movie instead of nitpick and whine about how bad it is.
my in laws have a television on 24/7 in whatever room they are in. When we visit them, I have such a hard time keeping a conversation going because I get distracted by whatever is playing on the tv. Bugs the hell out of me.
 

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Other types are usually considering different qualities - Ni-types, for example, find that the person who conveys the most logically connected and sequential information to be most trustworthy, and someone who speaks rather incoherently or in a random, aloof manner is found to be least trustworthy.

Interesting. One of the first things I look for, especially when I view youtube videos of people presenting information (even if that information is credible), is the fluidity of one's expression. I swear, If the speakers jump from topics or points too much, or his voice sounds extremely frantic or uncontrolled, I'm instantly turned off and I'll look for another video that can present the information better.
 

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A) There is a person who is an absolute expert on North Korea because of extensive research, they have made thesis about it and have huge base of knowledge on the issues and problems of North Korea. They have made surveys, research, read many books about it, watched documentaries etc. know almost everything there is to know. Maybe the person is even an advisor in some organization or institution on North Korea relations.

B) There is a person who knows only little about North Korea, but has actually been there as a tourist for a week.

Se-users might know that person A is more knowledgeable than person B, but they still naturally trust the person B's information much more, even if the stories s/he speaks may sound contradicting.

It's not about just that people in general trust first-hand sources more easily and naturally - it's a quirk of Se-types that their first response is to lean towards people speaking from first-hand experience, and only then they consider the people talking from second-hand experience.
Expending the notion.
If Se is interested in the topic, Se can trust the A person and starts to listen to his data as he has external evidence of his success, hierarchy.
If Se is mildly interested he seeks one he can relate the most experience vise, the more passionate person, good looking, he is investing in the interaction.
Se doms seek the outside harmony, systems they learned to trust. So if they arent interested in the topic they will adjust the topic to talking about its experience about it or ignore the data presented and changing the topic to its liking.

I think we can imagine Se in its prime when we put 2 SE/dom family members together, the ESTP type vs ESFP. Both try to inforce an outside experience of the word based on different views, most of the times the Ti comes into conflict with Fi, as the interest might be too personal for Ti to comprehend. There starts to lie and unsolvable problem until Fi surrenders to Fe or Ti gives up on Te. When Se knows what he is talking about you can either agree and contribute or get into a conflict of not understanding him. They wont want to talk about stuff they dont know, they will not pretend they are interested.

TL:DR Se is mostly interested in experience, what works and sharing it with others.
 
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