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I guess my question is, does your attractiveness make you self conscious to the point you’re an introvert when you’re an extrovert or do you find yourself desirable when you want to be left alone, a narcissist, or someone who loves the attention and is self aware about it and his level of attractiveness, does it compliment your personality or hides it or do you think it’s the only front people like about you when you find your personality to be completely dull and is self aware of it as well
 

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I feel like I have some knowledge here, because I've yo-yod between being in very good shape fitness-wise to being quite poor shape quite a few times, and it makes a big difference in my appearance not only in my body, but my face. I've had decent musculature at 15%BF, compared to no training at 25%, a total weight difference between 12st 6lb and 14st6lb, during my 20s. Currently I'm 12st 8lb but I'm waiting for gyms to re-open after months so I'm somewhere in between.

I'm not an egotistical person, and I've worked very hard at subduing any parts of me that do get that way because I'm a pragmatist 1st, and I've found ego is the enemy.

The truth is that attractiveness makes a big difference. It does, don't let anyone confuse it. Not all the difference, but a big part. When I've been in my best shape people view me differently. The biggest thing is that people assume things about your personality that you don't deserve, and because they do that you therefore don't have to try as hard to show your true self for people to decide to respect you. People have already made their assumptions. My personality response was what I expect happens to most people- I became more neutral. They actually prefered me not to be as funny, gregarious,etc. They had an imagine of me based on appearance.

You get more smiles off of strangers, people you meet for the first time have this aura of respect for you where they give your more attention and behaviour is very different, it's actually kind of more stand-offish, but in a way that they're expecting you to make the first move, so I guess it's better as an extrovert than an introvert. When I was overweight they just didn't care and definitely didn't pay as much attentiion in any way shape or form unless I showed through personality that I was impossible to ignore.

If I go to clothing fashion stores out of shape I feel much more ignored I feel like I don't belong. In shape they're much more attentive. Women of course give much more eye contact, out of shape if I happened to catch their eye they'd switch away as deliberately as possible. In shape quite a few would hold eye contact and I never got that snatching of eye contact experience,a few would hold eye contact and I've had more confident ones bite lips and such before.

It's like a whole different world. It's the truth. A sad truth.
 

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I'm an introvert, even positive attention makes me feel overwhelmed, exposed and vulnerable.
Feeling self conscious isn't the same as introversion.
 
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It gave me more freedom and allowed me to go for more complicated goals, be pickier, but I also had to avoid unwanted attention and attitudes.
 

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I feel like I have some knowledge here, because I've yo-yod between being in very good shape fitness-wise to being quite poor shape quite a few times, and it makes a big difference in my appearance not only in my body, but my face. I've had decent musculature at 15%BF, compared to no training at 25%, a total weight difference between 12st 6lb and 14st6lb, during my 20s. Currently I'm 12st 8lb but I'm waiting for gyms to re-open after months so I'm somewhere in between.

I'm not an egotistical person, and I've worked very hard at subduing any parts of me that do get that way because I'm a pragmatist 1st, and I've found ego is the enemy.

The truth is that attractiveness makes a big difference. It does, don't let anyone confuse it. Not all the difference, but a big part. When I've been in my best shape people view me differently. The biggest thing is that people assume things about your personality that you don't deserve, and because they do that you therefore don't have to try as hard to show your true self for people to decide to respect you. People have already made their assumptions. My personality response was what I expect happens to most people- I became more neutral. They actually prefered me not to be as funny, gregarious,etc. They had an imagine of me based on appearance.

You get more smiles off of strangers, people you meet for the first time have this aura of respect for you where they give your more attention and behaviour is very different, it's actually kind of more stand-offish, but in a way that they're expecting you to make the first move, so I guess it's better as an extrovert than an introvert. When I was overweight they just didn't care and definitely didn't pay as much attentiion in any way shape or form unless I showed through personality that I was impossible to ignore.

If I go to clothing fashion stores out of shape I feel much more ignored I feel like I don't belong. In shape they're much more attentive. Women of course give much more eye contact, out of shape if I happened to catch their eye they'd switch away as deliberately as possible. In shape quite a few would hold eye contact and I never got that snatching of eye contact experience,a few would hold eye contact and I've had more confident ones bite lips and such before.

It's like a whole different world. It's the truth. A sad truth.
There are some other factors that can come into play here though, for instance confidence. I think generally when we feel & know we are in good shape/look good, we are more confident. It’s hard to keep confidence locked up. It plays out in different ways & I believe has a tendency to draw others in more overall. People are attracted to confidence. Furthermore, if you feel good, that will likely lead to you smiling/making eye contact/etc more. Which, in turn, will lead others to do the same back.

More than that, though, is that your brain betrays you. Like it or not, you have certain biases & they will skew your perceptions of how others are treating you. I came across a study a few years back where they took a group of people, told them they were going to put a large, ugly scar on their faces & send them out to see if people treated them differently. Unbeknownst to the test subjects, they did not actually put anything on their face. They weren’t allowed to see themselves after the makeup artist (pretended to) put on a scar. Every single one of the people came back saying they were treated poorly. Even though they looked the same as their regular self. They had listed example after example of unkind & dismissive things people had done & they all blamed it on the scar. Crumb I wish I could remember where I read that. I’ll maybe look for it later & copy the link here. It was really interesting.

Ultimately, they went into it assuming they’d be treated differently, therefore their perception was skewed right off the bat. They looked for it. If you look for it, you will find it. It’s self-fulfilling. Our brains seek to justify our opinions in our environment. If you think you look good, you will perceive others as thinking you look good too. If you think you look bad, you will perceive others as thinking the same.

At any rate, not trying to argue.:) I agree attractive people are treated differently, oftentimes better. (Though there are disadvantages as well, as you mentioned.) There have been numerous studies on this. I’ve gotten away with more than my fair share. But there are many elements at play here, it’s not black & white.

Das ist alles. Word salad, sorry. Hope you’re having a good day!😊
 

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I don't know what to compare to. My looks haven't especially changed aside from puberty. I think I'm attractive, not stunningly so, I'm not stopping traffic. I put a little weight on when I was going through a rough period but took it off a few months later. Overall, I think I have realistic expectations and I'm generally happy with how I look. I think people are mostly fair with me. I wouldn't say I'm especially friendly but I'm polite. I am genuinely interested in people, so I think people can tell that I'm sincere when I'm asking them questions. If someone doesn't interest me, I don't pretend to be interested but politely disentangle myself from the conversation. I don't have problems getting attention and I don't mind attention but I don't like all attention. If I don't want attention I can wear, sweats, hoodie, sunglasses and baseball hat. It makes me look like a moody 13 year old and people ignore that kid.
 

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I'm arrogant because women fight over me because I'm not only pure chiseled muscle, I'm also well hung.

Nah. I'm actually pretty much old, ugly and fat. I overcompensate for my lack of physical attractiveness by being pathetic and witty. A few women have taken pity on me.
 
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I'd say it does affect some people but I haven't noticed any effect on myself what could depend on it. I've been skinnier than now when I was younger, also I've had more weight at some point than I have now. Also changed hairstyle from short to half-long and felt no much differences due to those changes in appearance.

I guess the effect could depend on what is your source of confidence - is it mostly coming from your physical looks or it's elsewhere. Also it seems to be more of a thing for younger people who haven't yet achieved much in their lives. For myself source of confidence mostly bases on what important I've achieved during my lifetime (success at work, family, kids, education).
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I'd say it does affect some people but I haven't noticed any effect on myself what could depend on it. I've been skinnier than now when I was younger, also I've had more weight at some point than I have now. Also changed hairstyle from short to half-long and felt no much differences due to those changes in appearance.

I guess the effect could depend on what is your source of confidence - is it mostly coming from your physical looks or it's elsewhere. Also it seems to be more of a thing for younger people who haven't yet achieved much in their lives. For myself source of confidence mostly bases on what important I've achieved during my lifetime (success at work, family, kids, education).

I wouldn’t say it’s exclusive to young people, many adults suffer under it or take advantage of, some business even focus on “I don’t like that guy’s face” despite the performances

This topic interests me a lot because the amount of changed outcomes I’ve noticed just due to attractiveness overwhelmed and in a sad way
 

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There are some other factors that can come into play here though, for instance confidence. I think generally when we feel & know we are in good shape/look good, we are more confident. It’s hard to keep confidence locked up. It plays out in different ways & I believe has a tendency to draw others in more overall. People are attracted to confidence. Furthermore, if you feel good, that will likely lead to you smiling/making eye contact/etc more. Which, in turn, will lead others to do the same back.

More than that, though, is that your brain betrays you. Like it or not, you have certain biases & they will skew your perceptions of how others are treating you. I came across a study a few years back where they took a group of people, told them they were going to put a large, ugly scar on their faces & send them out to see if people treated them differently. Unbeknownst to the test subjects, they did not actually put anything on their face. They weren’t allowed to see themselves after the makeup artist (pretended to) put on a scar. Every single one of the people came back saying they were treated poorly. Even though they looked the same as their regular self. They had listed example after example of unkind & dismissive things people had done & they all blamed it on the scar. Crumb I wish I could remember where I read that. I’ll maybe look for it later & copy the link here. It was really interesting.

Ultimately, they went into it assuming they’d be treated differently, therefore their perception was skewed right off the bat. They looked for it. If you look for it, you will find it. It’s self-fulfilling. Our brains seek to justify our opinions in our environment. If you think you look good, you will perceive others as thinking you look good too. If you think you look bad, you will perceive others as thinking the same.

At any rate, not trying to argue.:) I agree attractive people are treated differently, oftentimes better. (Though there are disadvantages as well, as you mentioned.) There have been numerous studies on this. I’ve gotten away with more than my fair share. But there are many elements at play here, it’s not black & white.

Das ist alles. Word salad, sorry. Hope you’re having a good day!😊
I definitely do think that's a factor.

However, a lot of the interactions that I describe were ones that I didn't even expect, when I'm just going about my life, that never happen if I'm out of shape, and a lot of them in general just can't be explained by that for many different reasons.

Again as I mentioned in my previous post, it's not just attractiveness alone, nor confidence even, but the way that attractiveness seems to distort how people view your personality too. Particularly in those that go to the gym and stuff, because I think people see it as evidence that you're someone who practices positivity in some form that is.. well yeah evident. As an Fi-type for example, I practice moral positivity that gets unnoticed because I prefer to be subtle about it and don't ever want recognition for it, and few ever really even notice. I mean Oprah for example is overweight, but her evidence has been all over TV and if she'd been more attractive it would have added very little to how people perceive her, so that's a similar form of that, so it's not ALL an attractiveness thing, it's what people see as a "symptom".

But then there is a pure factor of attractiveness, which is somewhat influential, and then also attractiveness adding to confidence like you said. It's multi faceted, and adds up differently based on the individual, but in general the answer is yes, it helps. For me, I've found it makes a big difference for many different factors including the one you mention.

At the end of the day all this adds up to is that- yes OP attractiveness usually does have positive consequences for your personality, either direct, indirect and also in 2-3 step curved indirect ways. It does add up. Not for everyone- if your personality is a negative quotient, then it will stay that way, and if your personality is an absolute force it won't add much, but most people are closer to the middle.

And it's ok to debate, I don't think you crossed any lines of appropriate debate at all :)
 

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That depends on whose perspective you're talking about: being attractive to other people in general, being attractive to a small group of people, and/or being attractive to oneself can have different, interacting effects, and the effects depend on other aspects of the personality, such as one's attitude to others' estimation of attraction.
 
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