[Wake]

How does your honesty become troublesome?

I find I always end up giving a little too much information to people for the sake of speaking the whole truth (a few times here on the net ).

I will tell friends the cold truth and it may not be timely, and hurt feelings.

Anyone else have a habit of doing these things?

 

[Frannyy]

it's not so much that my truthfulness becomes troublesome, but my objectivity and attention to facts can get troublesome- especially when the person in question is either wrong or only wants emotional support.

 

[Wake]

it's not so much that my truthfulness becomes troublesome, but my objectivity and attention to facts can get troublesome- especially when the person in question is either wrong or only wants emotional support.

In terms of that emotional support point u made, it never strikes me that people just want a shoulder to cry on and nothing more. I never look to do it, without searching for a way to fix the problem, but others seem to see an upside to it.

 

[Frannyy]

In terms of that emotional support point u made, it never strikes me that people just want a shoulder to cry on and nothing more. I never look to do it, without searching for a way to fix the problem, but others seem to see an upside to it.

yeah- something I had to learn was that sometimes it is better to be nice than to be right.

 

[Wake]

yeah- something I had to learn was that sometimes it is better to be nice than to be right.

Perhaps there is something to be taught from your understandings on this subject. If I'm too stubborn though!!! is another question :tongue:

 

[Frannyy]

yeah- it's especially exhausting when I can clearly see the cause and effect of the problem, but I know the person only wants emotional support. I have to hold the common sense back while giving emotion at the same time.... but the problem with that is that I try to then fix their emotions and make them feel better, but sometimes they only just want to let it all out and dump their problems on me.... sigh. As you can see, I have a lot of experience with this.

 

[Wake]

Once I did the Sheldon from the show Big Bang Theory's epic consoling line "There, There." + *Pat on the head*. Problem was my brother was watching me and watches the show and stepped in because I was being comical in a serious moment. As inappropriate as it was, I thought it was funny and he did too.

 

[Checkmate]

When a supervisor asks if you respect her and you say no. But seriously it becomes troublesome when the person is asking your opinion about an issue.

For any problems or questions the easiest thing is just listen to them explain the issue and every once in a while re-word one of their statements into a question or say uh-huh or okay so they know you are listening until they have finally finished venting and when they want to discuss the issue ask questions on what you heard and let them answer it. After all the questions to get the facts and opinions let them come up to the appropriate answer.

It works to our ISTJ strengths by getting all the facts about an issue, listening instead of talking and being objective while listening and asking questions leading up to the correct answer.

Now that I am a supervisor, I have found that you can let them answer the question by asking several questions associated with the issue and letting them answer then and then repeating their question after they have all the facts and they come up with the actual answer.