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How does your mood affect how much of a feeler you are? Do you think you're more INFP when you're sad/depressed/anxious? Can you seem sort of ESTJish or at least more T/J when you're relaxed/confident, or determined? I would say that's the case for myself. I'm more emotional when I'm depressed or just feeling a bit melancholy, of course, but I think also more sympathetic/empathetic. While suffering can make you more self-absorbed I'm coming to believe it can make you both more empathetic and more sensitive to the suffering of others as well. I wasn't cold-hearted before, but I was probably less empathetic and more INTP, or at least more oblivious to others.
 
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