[The King Of Dreams]

Hello my Interestingly Noble & Fantastic People (INFP) I have a question....
When it comes to physical affection (Hand shakes, hugs, kisses and cuddles etc.) how far is too far when it comes to friends? I can be comfortable with a long hug from a guy-friend.... Maybe even a light cuddle (don't judge me!) but that's as far as I will take it. What about you? How far or how much physical affection do you like/need? And what type of displays of physical affection do you prefer? Let's discuss!

 

[IAmOrangeToday]

It all depends on how much meaning is assosciated with the act. Me, I'm really not bothered by handshakes, gentle punch on the shoulder etc. I would never kiss a friend though, and I rarely kiss family members (although I grin and bear it when they kiss me). Hugging is what I use to connect with a female friend I have a deep regard for, and I regard it as a really significant step in a relationship which I get pretty nervous about doing for the first time - in fact I will almost never initiate until she's hugged me in the past in case I violate her personal space. However, I do know one or two people who will hug me constantly, which wears me down like a grindstone. I can't do physical small talk; everything has meaning to me. However, whilst a hug will give me an emotional buzz, it's no subsitute for talking to someone and establishing that amazing deep understanding with them.

 

[Adasta]

Hello my Interestingly Noble & Fantastic People (INFP) I have a question....
When it comes to physical affection (Hand shakes, hugs, kisses and cuddles etc.) how far is too far when it comes to friends? I can be comfortable with a long hug from a guy-friend.... Maybe even a light cuddle (don't judge me!) but that's as far as I will take it. What about you? How far or how much physical affection do you like/need? And what type of displays of physical affection do you prefer? Let's discuss!

Male: A hug with a good friend is no problem at all. Otherwise, let's stick to handshakes.

Female: Sky's the limit, really. Girls are far more interesting to touch! I usually let them set the standard, though. If they told me I was being too physical, I would probably feel a bit gutted, but would stop immediately (and feel awful, of course).

 

[Nienna]

I have a warm feeling when I see two male friends being physically affectionate with each other, without worrying with stupid social expectations. ^^ It's so cute. I say it about males in special, because between females it's seen as acceptable.

As for me, I like physical affection with people I'm close with. I'm not usually an initiator, but I'll gladly return friend cuddles. Hugs, holding hands, tender kisses on the cheek, resting your head on their shoulders.. I like it all. It's only too far for me if it gets excessive... or too intimate. Like, I've known people who like to greet each other with lip pecks. Now, that's too much.

It depends also on how my friends are comfortable with that. I have a couple of very phisically affectionate friends, but most are not so much, so I respect their space. ^^

And I can handle well hugs from people that aren't so close to me, but that's all. I regard them as warm people, but anything more than a hug starts creeping me out.

 

[tylerjg33]

LOL I could go for a little male/male cuddling. I mean, so long as I'm the big spoon. On the real though too far for me is when affection turns sexual. It's got to be appropriate, ya know?

As for your other question, I'm all too comfortable by myself. I don't need much affection and am probably awkward when I dish out affection. I always try to reciprocate it though and truly do appreciate affection.

 

[The King Of Dreams]

LOL I could go for a little male/male cuddling. I mean, so long as I'm the big spoon. On the real though too far for me is when affection turns sexual. It's got to be appropriate, ya know?

That's the same for me. I just appreciate my friends but my way isn't looked upon so favorably

 

[perfectcircle]

I don't know if i have a set of rules for this but generally, I like hugs and kisses and cuddling with friends and family but I don't like them just to do them; if it feels forced or weird, then I don't like it. An example is extended family I am not really close with and never see and they see you and jump kisses all over you and I'm like flinching with each one. I often have the urge to kiss my female friends I'm really close to and sometimes we jokingly kiss not on the mouth, and we often cuddle, but all this is to express deep affection and the closeness I feel. I like long hugs from those I love. I don't like contact with those i don't love much at all.

My boyfriend has proved I am not as touchy as I thought though; he often wants to cuddle or make out in public and I don't like it, and don't like how OFTEN it returns to physical affection, it's like it takes over everything else. It is just too much. It makes me feel like he's insecure so he always needs a hug but in reality he's told me it's just hard to stop cause uh the female body feels so good....

 

[cloudcompeller]

I don't really mind anything but don't become sexual (unless I wish to! And only exclusive with girls) Normally I won't initiate it unless with very close friends and family.

 

[FaveteLinguis]

Eh, it varies for me. For close friends I'm pretty lenient.

Male: Handshakes, hugs, hand on shoulder....stuff along those lines.

Female: Pretty much everything excluding very intimate touch. Hugging, kiss on the cheek, cuddling, handshakes, etc.

Two things I constantly dislike: Tickling (closesly guarded secret), and when girls get very touchy after only knowing me for a couple of hours.

 

[The King Of Dreams]

I'm thinking about re-posting this in the INFJ section to see what they say..... Or maybe I should try the ISFP? They lead with Fi+Se.....

 

[RoyA]

Why the hell would you 'cuddle' a friend of the opposite sex? That's just really anti-climactic
Hugs are usually the limit for me, I'd be a bit put off if someone told me to back off after just a hug

Call me a greasy male chauvanist pig or whatever, but I would honestly never cuddle a girl if it wasn't likely to lead to something else. I'd just feel like a fucking chew toy

 

[Mattylad]

With friends I usually stray no further than a hug. Partners, well I haven't gotten that far...yet.

 

[Marimeli]

Wow, interesting question!

i'm a toucher; I express myself with my hands and I have this unconscious desire to touch the person I'm speaking to as if it helps them understand what I'm saying or something; it's hard to explain. It's a tendency I have had to severely curb as a teacher (of course) so in general, in professional situations I probably keep my hands to myself in a kind of extreme way.

I'm fairly good at sizing up someone's nonverbal cues, so if I do something--say a waitress is about to leave the table but I forgot to ask her something, I might touch her wrist instead of speaking (since I may not know her name), and say she turns around and I can see from the expression on her face that this was unwelcome--I apologize or let it go and am just more careful in the future.

As for my body, I love to be touched so I don't mind if my friends of any gender touch me. The only limits I impose is mouth kissing and the main erogenous zones, and I only limit that because I'm in a relationship. Kissing on the cheek is something I grew up with in Puerto Rico so I'm very comfortable kissing friends of both genders.

Yesterday at school, a gentleman I didn't know held the door for me and as I walked through it past him he briefly put his hand on my back as a wordless "after you" kind of thing. It was a quaint gesture and I thought it was very nice.

 

[kaleidoscope]

I think the person has to be really really special for me to not feel somewhat awkward hugging them. Unless they're a partner, I don't think I could be completely, one hundred percent comfortable. But then again, most people I hug are either not very close to me, or just generally not comfortable hugging themselves, so it kinda feels forced, which brings about the awkwardness.

Plus, my family meaning my dad, my mom and my sister are really bad at physical affection. If I even try to hug my sister, she'll push me away and say "You know I don't like hugs!" It's that bad haha, so that could explain it.

Partners on the other hand? Bring.it.on.

 

[FaveteLinguis]

Why the hell would you 'cuddle' a friend of the opposite sex? That's just really anti-climactic
Hugs are usually the limit for me, I'd be a bit put off if someone told me to back off after just a hug

Call me a greasy male chauvanist pig or whatever, but I would honestly never cuddle a girl if it wasn't likely to lead to something else. I'd just feel like a fucking chew toy

Interest fact for the day!: Chauvinist can apply to all genders, or sex. It was more commonly acceptable to call somebody a chauvinist for blind patriotism and belief in inherent superiority over others.

To answer your question, cuddling =/= sexual expectation for me. I honestly don't expect anything to go further, and physical contact isn't cause enough for me to really pursue anything beyond. I can *cough* perform *cough* if needed too, but that feels like dead weight most of the time even if it is pleasurable for the opposite party. I do it simply because it's nice to have a little human heater next to me at night when I'm sleeping.

 

[RoyA]

Interest fact for the day!: Chauvinist can apply to all genders, or sex. It was more commonly acceptable to call somebody a chauvinist for blind patriotism and belief in inherent superiority over others.

To answer your question, cuddling =/= sexual expectation for me. I honestly don't expect anything to go further, and physical contact isn't cause enough for me to really pursue anything beyond. I can *cough* perform *cough* if needed too, but that feels like dead weight most of the time even if it is pleasurable for the opposite party. I do it simply because it's nice to have a little human heater next to me at night when I'm sleeping.

I was reading about that yesterday, actually, I always thought it meant some form of sexism or another haha

I guess I'm a bit biased, any girl who's tried to cuddle with me before was just trying to use me as a chew toy, like I said.
If you're into just cuddling then go for it I say

 

[Luke]

With my male friends we usually just shake hands, but sometimes we hug each other. It depends on the person though. With some of my male friends a hug would be out of the question, because it would be uncomfortable for us both, but with others it's fine.

Hugging just seems like a normal form of greeting with female friends.

Cuddling seems like it would be crossing some kind of line, with either gender. I'm game for it, but I do think it's crossing a line :tongue:

 

[Blackbird]

Haha, I feel a little odd saying this, but with several "approved" male friends of mine, literally anything goes. I guess that sort of turns things into "friends with benefits" rather than just "friends," but I don't see it that way and often they don't either. Sometimes the moment's just right, and if both of us know we won't feel weird about it later, and want to, well....

That said, the norm for me is that I love hugs, and will hug almost every friend as we are saying goodbye, sometimes for a really long time. It depends more on their comfort level. Well, and how much I care about them - it's not that I just love hugs from everyone, it's more like, "Ahhhh I love you so much, let me squeeze your torso until your eyes bug out, ahhhhh!"

 

[Calvaire]

I'm not a very touchy person really,I never initiate hugs with friends and handshakes are disgusting,I'd rather high five someone when I meet them then give a handshake,because in my head the only thing I will be thinking is when can I get to the nearest sink and wash my hands off.

I don't really like to hug my friends I guess unless they need to be comforted then I will hug/rub their back.Except if they initiate it then fine I wont deny you a hug.I mean usually I just High five.I had a friendship in the past go to far so now I'm just very aware,I have to be of my emotions,it's simple for me to get too attached or to develop(sp?) feelings. I don't know ever since then things have just been dicey for me.


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[The King Of Dreams]

Do any of you think that Introversion or Extroversion somewhat plays a part in displays of physical affection?