I have a pretty high level of self-esteem. I actually love helping others to increase their self-esteem whenever I can and hope to be able to do so in my profession in the future. I'm in healthcare
and really have an interest in the psychiatric/mental health field.
My childhood was pretty good, my parents and siblings have always been very loving and we're becoming closer as time passes. This is due to my need and my expression of the need for clear communication and mutual support and self-love. It's a daily thing where if I hear something negative coming out of someone's mouth, I see if I can change that somehow by helping the person see How they actually sound and what that could result in for other people and themselves. I monitor myself too, don't want to be a hypocrite
That isn't to say that we haven't all had our issues (and we still do individually and sometimes together as we may clash, etc) but I've heard enough stories from other ppl/friends to know how great I have it.
Though I was kind of chubby as a kid and there are some family members (aunts and uncles) who come from a cultural background that is very...catty i guess is the word lol...They didn't hesitate to let me know I was chubby and it was time to lose some weight, when am i going to go on a diet? Etc. And I had always known, maybe because of lessons my mom taught us, what it means to be polite and tactful and aware of how I came across in my actions and words. Because of that, I understood that those family members just didn't know how tactless they were being, how hurtful they were being. To them "Oh, you got fat, you should lose weight" seems a very okay, everyday thing to say with a smile on your face. I was in elementary school, give me a break! Sure I Was kinda chubby (until i hit puberty and suddenly those same family members were complimenting me until today, so see, it was partially baby fat!) but to say things like that to a kid right before entering a stage where self image is typically all-important is just wrong. I got mad of course, but I tried to never take it to heart. I am also very forgiving naturally, I see the good people are capable of so that's probably why, which is why I never really held a grudge against them for those rude remarks, I knew they were coming from a place of ignorance. Today, they know better...though some comments like those will slip out once in a while (not geared towards me anymore).
I also had a bully in elementary school and middle school (different guys), but nothing Really serious. First guy, I Knew he had aggression issues (or that he liked me) even when I was in elementary school...he bothered me from 1st to 4th grade or so...tore the sleeve of my sweater once and I don't even know WHY he gave me threatening looks, etc. What did he want from me? Fear probably. But he didn't get it, that sucker! Now after the invention of facebook, we reconnected, he was just a punk to lots of people apparently. The guy in middle school laughed and called me fat, a whale, and I figured he also had issues (or he liked me. With boys before 18, you never know right? LOL). I Knew i wasn't fat and he was a tiny little guy so I never took that to heart either even though he was constantly at it every day. Sometimes I got him to shut his face with some remark, a girl can only take so much. But with him, I practiced a lot of patience too. My friend defended me when we exchanged looks and she'd tell him "she's Not fat" because this was a fact. Then in recent years, also due to facebook, we reconnected, he apologized, told me he actually used to think i was bigger than other girls (I guess if he was comparing me to the stick figures then sure but there were girls of all sizes in our school so his argument was and still is ridiculous) but that he was just immature and he has since experienced a lot of eye opening things in life and has grown up quite a bit. He said I was and still am the most gentle person he has ever met, never recalled me raising my voice or anything. I think he even tried flirting with me a little which is hilarious to me. We're friends now, and I never held a grudge against him either. I actually tried to joke with him and talk to him in school too as if he wasn't being an ass. Bet that confused him!
Of course I told him how much of an ass he was being also at times. Passive aggression is not for me. I always found that being rather civil and stating the truth was most effective.
Maybe I was just mature for my age...all my life...lol. But the bottom line is, if you take the time to think about such situations and look at the Positive examples of self-respect that you have been exposed to whether it be from a person or even an advertisement, and realize that you can emulate that, it's possible to rise above petty, jealous, superficial, inconsiderate, and rude people. As soon as you can see that regardless of your surrounding environment, if you have the willpower, desire, and inner strength to, you can find the things that you are good at that and that you Like about yourself - that's where self-esteem stems from, an acceptance and celebration of self. Self-esteem is true belief in yourself and no amount of makeup, attractive clothing, cars, and flattery can replace that.
If you like yourself enough but feel like it'd be nice if others would take a liking to you too in an outwardly obvious way...A trick is to Act confidently Even when you may not feel that way 100% of the time because when people see that confidence, they want to be around you more because everyone likes a confident person as everyone wants to Be a confident person. You will likely gain more respect from peers and others when you do this.
To keep my confidence and self-respect up, i like to see the world in the best light possible. I'm spiritual and that's a huge factor probably. I like to believe that everyone is capable of being "good" and loving and probably most importantly, that everyone is deserving of love and at least understanding if not acceptance. I try to see from other people's perspectives even if it's slightly skewed or affected by mental illness. I love to spread hugs and kisses and compliment people whenever I can (with real compliments, not empty ones! Otherwise, i'd be a liar!). I like to help people and I find that helping others can in turn give the greatest boost in self-esteem. You can call a person ugly and fat and poor and stupid and what-have-you, but if he's helped someone else out or a BUNCH of other people out who think "wow, he's a Really good person" or they may possibly think the world of him, who can take that great feeling away? Nobody and Nothing. Because it's genuine and comes from the heart and Nothing can beat that. I also love artistic expression of any kind...and I think self-esteem can be greatly boosted/found through that, when you're expressing yourself in a non-harmful way, you're finding yourself. When you've found yourself, you feel good or at least better about yourself. And that's when self-esteem kicks in
! Ta-dah!!!
I also love yellow and think that happy and mellow colors really help in regulating your mood/emotions, so that's another thing to consider as well. My room is a light yellow and it's like im in sunshine all the time ^_^
Oooh, but you know what it's all about? Self-reflection. Keep a journal, talk to a fried, talk to yourself if you want (just explain that you're thinking aloud), listen to the waves of the ocean. Just take time for yourself and think. Unless you tend to think negatively, if you find yourself doing that a lot and not changing, you can reflect with a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist too
Nothing wrong with that at all. They're there to help you find yourself too
And in helping you, they're finding Themselves, their passion, and their strength as well. What, you thought that just because they've studied human behavior and patterns and trained to help others, that they're perfectly balanced people?? We're all learning and growing together
Everyone benefits! Yay! And if you can, befriend positive thinking people also, they're real nice to have around and they'll be your cheerleaders lol. But remember, they have their dark moments too. It's alllll in the efforts you put forth! Good luck!
