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Hi i'm INTP and i never was good at it. But now i developed some social anxiety and paranoias wich don't let me relax at all, make me do embarrasing things, make me think about anxiety paranoias and in the end i just want to kill myself.

So this is just me or other INTPs have the same problem? thanks
 

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I think most people have a fair share of anxiety, especially in today's society.
 

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Firstly, stand in a public place with your hand rubbing your chin. Then someone will walk up to you, mumble out of their mouth hole and stare at you, their eyes shrunken into their fat face like two oysters. You'll lean against a wall and not truly listen to what they have to say. Instead you daydream about that time you sorted the mail, or that time you made a delicious pickle sandwich, or that time you woke up in Mexico with a bottle of tequila inserted... anyway, you don't listen. But you do notice their mouth stop moving. Their lips begin to quiver. And you know that you must respond. So you say "Yes, yes, that makes sense." And you feel relieved for a moment, but only a moment. Anxiety squirms in you like a squid on blotter acid. You want to exit. There are two exits, the temporary one and the permanent one. The temporary one is that bathroom stall with the broken latch. You edge toward it, step inside, wipe the piss off the toilet seat, and look at your cellphone for a few minutes. Or you look for the nearest door. Don't worry about saying goodbye. This is a public place and the only people you should practice socializing with are strangers. Strangers don't have names, don't have identities. They can be disposed of. They can be exchanged like a pair of Jnco jeans for the new millennium. But don't worry if you should happen to see the stranger in another place. This is why you should always begin socializing with a fake mustache. But that's for next week.
 

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There was an extremely unfocused and scatterbrained person in my class. Naturally this meant she was just yelling out random sayings and other things not relevant to the class discussion. So when she got up to go the bathroom I was at my desk hunched over with my two hands clasped and I was just staring right through her. These are social skills.
 

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I have a bit of social anxiety that makes me uncomfortable in social settings, but, fortunately, my eccentricities balance out my anxiety so that everyone else is uncomfortable, too.
Geez ! i feel the same way. I feel i can make people even more uncomfortable... I start to imagine that any thing they are saying is, in some way, related to me or is, in some way, an insinuation about me. So i think they're saying all the bad stuff about me in a very inconscious way, and all the bad stuff i'm thinkin about myself, i see projected in some way of what they are saying. ''Oh.this cake looks gross!'' - oh they think i'm ugly. Lmao

And sometimes i just have this ''atmosphere'' of judging and tension around people and they get unconfortable. And sometimes i do some of this insinuations myself, without wanting it. It's like When the atmosphere is really really tense and uncomfortable, everything looks like an insinuation. You know?
People get intimidated and think i'm strange.
 

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INTP's socialize by having oiiz inside them while they scale
 

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Up until college I had no social life. I had acquaintances but lacked friends that I connected with on a personal level.

I only started having a social life when I met other INTPs with similar interests in college. Socializing with them was very natural, almost like talking aloud to yourself. Eventually I learned how to 'deal' with other types too, it comes with maturity and experience I suppose.
 

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Hi i'm INTP and i never was good at it. But now i developed some social anxiety and paranoias wich don't let me relax at all, make me do embarrasing things, make me think about anxiety paranoias and in the end i just want to kill myself.

So this is just me or other INTPs have the same problem? thanks
The world either piles anxiety or sorrow on everyone, it seems, haha.

I have to purge myself of anxiety every so often. The way I do it is via contemplation/meditation, whatever you want to call it. I used to actually sit down and truly meditate. That did wonders for me. So did sitting down and writing prayers in a journal (like letters to God). Now I clean houses, so I get a lot of time to reflect during that. No matter how you do it though, reflecting in silence is extremely relaxing to the mind. Normal mediation, where you sit or lie on the floor etc is also relaxing to the body. I find that it relieves anxiety quickly and allows me to uncover different truths.

I also kinda just learned to not care. I married an ENTJ, and that was quite helpful in my cause because they care very little about other people's opinions of them. Or at least it seems that way :p My mother used to convince me I needed to carry burdens about all kinds of things, actually, but ever since I've broken free of her and become more independent, I've become a lot less anxious. I love my mother, but we don't think all that much alike, even though we're both NTPs!

I do still get nervous from time to time when I have to talk to people I don't know, but I can talk to the cashier normally, at least :p
 
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What kind of meditation you do? Please tell me How you do it.
I started doing that too at home, by youtube videos, but sometimes i can't concentrate.

I have a ISTJ boyfriend and he pretty much don't care about people also, and he has the same disajusted social behaviours that i do :)
 

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What kind of meditation you do? Please tell me How you do it.
I started doing that too at home, by youtube videos, but sometimes i can't concentrate.

I have a ISTJ boyfriend and he pretty much don't care about people also, and he has the same disajusted social behaviours that i do :)
I've done various different things. Now, like I said, I just clean houses and reflect on things without listening to music or listening to calm music. I never meditate on nothing, though. I just tried to focus on a single thing, but didn't get upset with myself if I got off topic - that kind of ruins the point.

I'm also spiritual, however, so I've also used a couple of other methods that are more traditional. I'm not Catholic, but I used their Lectio Divina method for a while (you can look it up and see, but basically, you read a chapter or so of the Bible and then end up meditating on that. I also journaled during it). I like that method a lot, it just took me two hours to complete.

For a long while, I specifically meditated on the idea of being comfortable with the way God made me, believing he would use my strengths and weaknesses and overall just take care of things. I stopped fearing things when I also started making progress with the idea that he does things in his own time and his own way. Matthew 6:25-34 became one of my go-to passages: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6:25-34&version=NKJV

Furthermore, rather than making goals to "do better", I also discovered that making my goal to "be fearless" was much more specific and useful.
 

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~ I really don't know about other INTPs, but I generally always use to try to talk to "popular" kids and such or just a specific group of kids in general. I would always have funny things I would say, I would daydream of simple conversations to make me fit in. I would always try to converse these topic and conversations but I just couldn't express them right because I'm just very anti-social and I would always get rejected. I seem to be very different than others and typically only enjoy talking to INxx's due to many similarities. I always have these clear thoughts in my head but I can never express them making me very socially outcast. Therefore, I do not socialize at all and if I do(which is rarely) it is very minimal and 90% of the time I'm rejected.

-Hope I helped-
 
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Discussion Starter #14
~ I really don't know about other INTPs, but I generally always use to try to talk to "popular" kids and such or just a specific group of kids in general. I would always have funny things I would say, I would daydream of simple conversations to make me fit in. I would always try to converse these topic and conversations but I just couldn't express them right because I'm just very anti-social and I would always get rejected. I seem to be very different than others and typically only enjoy talking to INxx's due to many similarities. I always have these clear thoughts in my head but I can never express them making me very socially outcast. Therefore, I do not socialize at all and if I do(which is rarely) it is very minimal and 90% of the time I'm rejected.

-Hope I helped-
why do you think they reject you? it's something physical or maybe an odd behaviour you have?

I felt it, thousands times, since i was a child. I'd always had this feeling people would reject me, so i would isolate myself; by that, i never learned or improved on social matters. My lack of social skills was mostly caused by my own fear, i would lock myself in.
So now on, i just saw that emotional matters and our social life is very important for us. For example, you only have a good motivation and positive atmosphere in a job if you are comfortable around people or have empathy with them.
I would suggest you trying to improve this side of yours. There are many things you could try, since meditation or theater. Maybe with theater you can learn how to best speak your mind! I'm saying this Because in this moment of my life i am thinkin of doing that also! theater is a solution, a painful one, but it always works in our cases.
:)
 

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why do you think they reject you? it's something physical or maybe an odd behaviour you have?

I felt it, thousands times, since i was a child. I'd always had this feeling people would reject me, so i would isolate myself; by that, i never learned or improved on social matters. My lack of social skills was mostly caused by my own fear, i would lock myself in.
So now on, i just saw that emotional matters and our social life is very important for us. For example, you only have a good motivation and positive atmosphere in a job if you are comfortable around people or have empathy with them.
I would suggest you trying to improve this side of yours. There are many things you could try, since meditation or theater. Maybe with theater you can learn how to best speak your mind! I'm saying this Because in this moment of my life i am thinkin of doing that also! theater is a solution, a painful one, but it always works in our cases.
:)
One problem for an INTP is that people say they're snobbish or condescending due to their vast knowledge and intelligence(probably just an NT thing). Also, I seem to come off very annoying to people due to my fail efforts of trying to fit in.
 
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Yeah that's acurate! It happens with me too, the same thing. Recently i just realized that other people always thought i was a snobbish, all of them no exception. But then, some of them in some point give me a chance and try to know me better. With a little bit of conversation all the arrogant side fades away.
But you have to relax, right?

I don't feel no need to socialize either, but that's a common trait of Introversion, but maybe Some of them share our interests. who understand us , also. A few, but still.
I developed social anxiety because i couldn't be alone or independent in school. I started to feel the need to socialize: not for the sake of entertainment and fun, but for the sake of pure need, to be accepted in public. That's social anxiety... but i would say if you are comfortable being alone and you're continuing to follow your persuits anyhow, who cares about that? But if you are unhappy with something, you could have some hope (here, i give it to you) and start to change it.
 

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Help

When I started out in life I had no social skills. They have to be learned and there are all sorts of inhibitions. Now I have some. It helps a lot to know what other people want but one may find that out the hard way if experience is not given to you on a silver platter.

Speaking of social skills, there are a good many threads on this INTP Forum-The Thinkers I can't access. Just gives a blank screen. Is there some sort of requirement of invitation you know of? Example, I can't access:

Ask the INTPs a question

You Know You're An INTP When..confessions of an INTP
Confessions of an INTP


Can you?
 

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If I feel I have to socialize, I end up bracing myself, and either talking utter stupid small talk (generally about the weather, it's pretty safe), or segue into rambling aimlessly about something I like and that utterly bores them. About the time when their eyes glaze over, I awkwardly end the encounter and go hug a wall. Yep, that's generally how it goes.
 
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