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Discussion Starter #1
Hello everyone,

I’m new to the forum, and after a year of self-study and lurking around here, I’ve discovered and confirmed that I’m a true INFJ :cool:. Anyways, I tend to be an individual with lots of dormant aggression, which I tend to feel only when alone. They manifest in most of my daydreams where I imagine myself physically demolishing another person who committed an injustice. But thank goodness they just remain at that, a daydream. To describe it better, I could use an allegory :

Within my soul, there is a chamber where my dark side is a demon locked up in a cage, attached to hundreds of chains. He feeds off of the negativity I encounter day to day. While my good side, a white knight, stands guard to make sure the demon doesn't attempt to escape. Most of the time, this balance holds. At times however, the white knight might get jumped by little mini demons that catch him off guard. The demon then uses the opportunity to break his chains. But fortunately and most of the time, the white knight dispels the little demons and regains control, preventing the demon from breaking further chains.

My point is, my dark side is generally intense aggression but I can keep a tight hold on it and it doesn’t really show around people, if at all. I would like to know whether other INFJs have a similar dark side. If you do, then how would you describe yours? If not, then does it manifest in another emotional state or not at all?
 

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My dark side is the memory of injustice, abuse and rejection from over fifty years ago. I have told myself many times that I have forgiven, moved on - but on lonely, empty nights, the cold, empty anger rises up and again I do battle with it. I need validation from one long dead who would not give it were he alive. So I ask for forgiveness from any quarter for the anger. I forgive myself the anger.
I give of myself to others and it returns ten fold. I have a measure of nobility. I am just, I am caring, I am creating, I am good.
I give myself validation.
 

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I feel you, its not easy at all and it doesn't seem to go away for some reason despite our best efforts. But at least you constantly fight it, most people succumb under the influence of their inner demons and spew venom on those around them. Thank you for sharing OldManRivers :happy:.
 

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I feel you, its not easy at all and it doesn't seem to go away for some reason despite our best efforts. But at least you constantly fight it, most people succumb under the influence of their inner demons and spew venom on those around them. Thank you for sharing OldManRivers :happy:.
Thus we help each other hold back the deamon. Thank you, Eddy Nigma, for your insightful post.
 

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My inner darkness only comes out in flashes. Sort of like a low-burning flame that's constantly there, but certain triggers cause it to flare up and burn whoever's around me at the time. Tending this flame, keeping it low (it never goes out), requires some watch, but if I would just let it go willy-nilly all over the place, then I would hurt everyone that cares about me, and that I care about.

So, tending the fire is a good thing. lol

I hope that made sense. You posted with imagery, so I figure that I would find imagery that relates to my own experience, and post that too.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
My inner darkness only comes out in flashes. Sort of like a low-burning flame that's constantly there, but certain triggers cause it to flare up and burn whoever's around me at the time. Tending this flame, keeping it low (it never goes out), requires some watch, but if I would just let it go willy-nilly all over the place, then I would hurt everyone that cares about me, and that I care about.

So, tending the fire is a good thing. lol

I hope that made sense. You posted with imagery, so I figure that I would find imagery that relates to my own experience, and post that too.
It did. I like that you referred to yourself as the tender of the flame, and its as if you're at peace with it, that it doesn't clash with your other sides, or maybe I'm reading into it too much heh.

I figured using imagery would engage our dominant introverted intuition and thus make the discussion more interesting :)
 
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It did. I like that you referred to yourself as the tender of the flame, and its as if you're at peace with it, that it doesn't clash with your other sides, or maybe I'm reading into it too much heh.

I figured using imagery would engage our dominant introverted intuition and thus make the discussion more interesting :)
I am mainly at peace with it...but ever so often I do need to douse it with water. A little fire is a good thing, a raging inferno isn't.

But yes. I like the imagery as well. I actually prefer to sometimes even speak with a lot of imagery, but I usually get loads of strange looks for it. lol :crazy:
 

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I always thought of my dark side as a garbage can, full of ripped up hopes and dreams and poisonous gases that could suffocate anyone that is in front of this garbage can. Even as I try to throw it out, it poisons me and has permanently made me sick. Once the evil power is strong enough, the gas turns into an dark, black, powdery dragon that slays anyone in it's way. The only thing from me dying from this sickness is the "councellor". It just gives me antibiotics to keep me alive and gives me the sword to hopefully slay the dragon and throw away this garbage can into an unknown vacuum where it will suffocate and die. I haven't successfully won the battle yet, but I will.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I am mainly at peace with it...but ever so often I do need to douse it with water. A little fire is a good thing, a raging inferno isn't.

But yes. I like the imagery as well. I actually prefer to sometimes even speak with a lot of imagery, but I usually get loads of strange looks for it. lol :crazy:
Oh yeah I can relate, when that happens my mind says : "retreat into shell!" :laughing:
 
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I always thought of my dark side as a garbage can, full of ripped up hopes and dreams and poisonous gases that could suffocate anyone that is in front of this garbage can. Even as I try to throw it out, it poisons me and has permanently made me sick. Once the evil power is strong enough, the gas turns into an dark, black, powdery dragon that slays anyone in it's way. The only thing from me dying from this sickness is the "councellor". It just gives me antibiotics to keep me alive and gives me the sword to hopefully slay the dragon and throw away this garbage can into an unknown vacuum where it will suffocate and die. I haven't successfully won the battle yet, but I will.
Wonderfully described. With that spirit I'm sure you will win, so never give in ;)
 

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I try to transform the darkness into passion to love instead. I try to keep my peace and trust God to fight my battles. After indulging in the darkness so many times I've learned that I don't want any part of it. Works much better the other way. So hopefully the darkness in me is being wooped by his light. I guess overall, the darkness more manifests for me as fear more than anger or any other negative emotion. I don't have a cool analogy to share at the moment :) Welcome to the forum though :)
 

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Hello everyone,

I’m new to the forum, and after a year of self-study and lurking around here, I’ve discovered and confirmed that I’m a true INFJ :cool:. Anyways, I tend to be an individual with lots of dormant aggression, which I tend to feel only when alone. They manifest in most of my daydreams where I imagine myself physically demolishing another person who committed an injustice. But thank goodness they just remain at that, a daydream. To describe it better, I could use an allegory :

Within my soul, there is a chamber where my dark side is a demon locked up in a cage, attached to hundreds of chains. He feeds off of the negativity I encounter day to day. While my good side, a white knight, stands guard to make sure the demon doesn't attempt to escape. Most of the time, this balance holds. At times however, the white knight might get jumped by little mini demons that catch him off guard. The demon then uses the opportunity to break his chains. But fortunately and most of the time, the white knight dispels the little demons and regains control, preventing the demon from breaking further chains.

My point is, my dark side is generally intense aggression but I can keep a tight hold on it and it doesn’t really show around people, if at all. I would like to know whether other INFJs have a similar dark side. If you do, then how would you describe yours? If not, then does it manifest in another emotional state or not at all?
I relate to this on more levels than one. My dark side feeds on the negativity I encounter on a daily basis, clawing at it's cage to be unleashed. Wanting to purge the world of all the unjust people that make this world a shitty place to live. To that part of me, all hope is lost for humanity, because of the evil I see in the hearts of many. At the same time, my other side keeps that part of me in check. Keeping me from lashing out, releasing that darker side of me.

This YANG side of me fills my heart with hope and allows me to see the positive side of things and, the good that can still and, will occur. I feel that we, as Empath's are truly dual nature'd individuals. Capable of both dark and light, as any other human being is, just on a more deeper level. As with some people, they are more dark than light, and some more light than dark. If this makes sense.
 

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Have you ever worked out and felt amazing afterwards? Your body has that good sense of soreness, it feels tight, you feel strong, focused, accomplished, maybe even invincible. Some would describe this as a sense of freedom, feeling on top of the world. If you were a bird, you would fly around and experience the beautiful vastness of it all.

Things are similar, but different when it comes from a darker perspective. Instead of fixating on freedom, you focus on control and power. First, it starts with gaining this control or mastery of yourself, you embrace who you are, you create excuses or justifications for those deeper components of yourself that may be considered morally misguided or unjust. In time, your ambition for control extends beyond yourself and delves into other people or reality as a whole.

Deeply ambitious people will not let anything get in the way, they will take whatever means necessary to get what they desire or accomplish what they believe in. This can lead to some great places, but it also leads to arrogance, entitlement, and greed. It's all about -my- ideals and the big picture of the world that I created.

So here's an example using animal abuse -- poaching.
A lighter/kinder person would...
- Condemn the actions, but mostly in the form of "poor animals" or "that's wrong" speech or thought.
- Perhaps raise money or awareness about it.
- Fixate on the protection of these animals (fences, imprisoning poachers, etc).

A neutral (between light and dark) person would...
- Wish for harm to come to these poachers.

A darker person would...
- Would take a twisted pleasure in the suffering of these poachers -- perhaps even going out and hunting them down.

That's how my own personal darkness extends. It may encompass morally good ideologies, but the means may be deemed too extreme to some. Some would say, I become more of the problem than the solution, whereas others would quietly trumpeteer my actions without staining their own hands.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I try to transform the darkness into passion to love instead. I try to keep my peace and trust God to fight my battles. After indulging in the darkness so many times I've learned that I don't want any part of it. Works much better the other way. So hopefully the darkness in me is being wooped by his light. I guess overall, the darkness more manifests for me as fear more than anger or any other negative emotion. I don't have a cool analogy to share at the moment :) Welcome to the forum though :)
Hi Vivid Melody, no problem the analogy was just to bring my point closer, since I've noticed that as INFJs we respond and comprehend things better in visual images and metaphor than just plain words. I also do the same thing with my dark side, when I get engulfed in it too at times I fall back on my religious beliefs and trust in God, they keep me in balance. Thank you, Its amazing that there are people out there I can relate to (never met another INFJ) :)


I relate to this on more levels than one. My dark side feeds on the negativity I encounter on a daily basis, clawing at it's cage to be unleashed. Wanting to purge the world of all the unjust people that make this world a shitty place to live. To that part of me, all hope is lost for humanity, because of the evil I see in the hearts of many. At the same time, my other side keeps that part of me in check. Keeping me from lashing out, releasing that darker side of me.

This YANG side of me fills my heart with hope and allows me to see the positive side of things and, the good that can still and, will occur. I feel that we, as Empath's are truly dual nature'd individuals. Capable of both dark and light, as any other human being is, just on a more deeper level. As with some people, they are more dark than light, and some more light than dark. If this makes sense.
Empath, yes exactly. It makes sense, as we seem to be very aware and conscious of most layers of our personalities, and the clash that goes on within them and thus we can cycle between the light and dark equally. Thank you for sharing
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Have you ever worked out and felt amazing afterwards? Your body has that good sense of soreness, it feels tight, you feel strong, focused, accomplished, maybe even invincible. Some would describe this as a sense of freedom, feeling on top of the world. If you were a bird, you would fly around and experience the beautiful vastness of it all.

Things are similar, but different when it comes from a darker perspective. Instead of fixating on freedom, you focus on control and power. First, it starts with gaining this control or mastery of yourself, you embrace who you are, you create excuses or justifications for those deeper components of yourself that may be considered morally misguided or unjust. In time, your ambition for control extends beyond yourself and delves into other people or reality as a whole.

Deeply ambitious people will not let anything get in the way, they will take whatever means necessary to get what they desire or accomplish what they believe in. This can lead to some great places, but it also leads to arrogance, entitlement, and greed. It's all about -my- ideals and the big picture of the world that I created.

So here's an example using animal abuse -- poaching.
A lighter/kinder person would...
- Condemn the actions, but mostly in the form of "poor animals" or "that's wrong" speech or thought.
- Perhaps raise money or awareness about it.
- Fixate on the protection of these animals (fences, imprisoning poachers, etc).

A neutral (between light and dark) person would...
- Wish for harm to come to these poachers.

A darker person would...
- Would take a twisted pleasure in the suffering of these poachers -- perhaps even going out and hunting them down.

That's how my own personal darkness extends. It may encompass morally good ideologies, but the means may be deemed too extreme to some. Some would say, I become more of the problem than the solution, whereas others would quietly trumpeteer my actions without staining their own hands.
Yes I see. Both sides come from the same source, and what makes them light or dark is their manifestation. Plato defined evil as the "corruption of the good", in other words when a virtue is taken to both extremes. Good point and glad you mentioned it Lad.
 
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Currently present. After fighting it a while, it gets tiring. Fantasizing about ripping someone a new asshole (verbally) is not nearly as satisfying as actually doing it. And it only comes to this point if this person has committed a collective number of other follies to others or myself. I define this as my dark side because deep down- I hate humanity. It's nothing personal. Mostly. It's just, we can be really shit sometimes. But sometimes, it surfaces and it's really hard not to retrieve even further back into my cave. A fair amount of good things come from my dark side though- confidence and general lack of fucks given. And I'll admit, the attributes of my dark side- domination and aggression- can feel pretty fucking awesome when your whole life hasn't exactly been in your favour. Yeah, I know. Awful.

I'll feel guilty next week.
 

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Have you ever worked out and felt amazing afterwards? Your body has that good sense of soreness, it feels tight, you feel strong, focused, accomplished, maybe even invincible. Some would describe this as a sense of freedom, feeling on top of the world. If you were a bird, you would fly around and experience the beautiful vastness of it all.

Things are similar, but different when it comes from a darker perspective. Instead of fixating on freedom, you focus on control and power. First, it starts with gaining this control or mastery of yourself, you embrace who you are, you create excuses or justifications for those deeper components of yourself that may be considered morally misguided or unjust. In time, your ambition for control extends beyond yourself and delves into other people or reality as a whole.

Deeply ambitious people will not let anything get in the way, they will take whatever means necessary to get what they desire or accomplish what they believe in. This can lead to some great places, but it also leads to arrogance, entitlement, and greed. It's all about -my- ideals and the big picture of the world that I created.

So here's an example using animal abuse -- poaching.
A lighter/kinder person would...
- Condemn the actions, but mostly in the form of "poor animals" or "that's wrong" speech or thought.
- Perhaps raise money or awareness about it.
- Fixate on the protection of these animals (fences, imprisoning poachers, etc).

A neutral (between light and dark) person would...
- Wish for harm to come to these poachers.

A darker person would...
- Would take a twisted pleasure in the suffering of these poachers -- perhaps even going out and hunting them down.

That's how my own personal darkness extends. It may encompass morally good ideologies, but the means may be deemed too extreme to some. Some would say, I become more of the problem than the solution, whereas others would quietly trumpeteer my actions without staining their own hands.
Great minds think alike. (I think that's an appropriate use of words in this response...)
 

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I describe myself as a white knight as well! (when running on positive energy) Wanna form an army of noble, clean warriors!?

My bad side is... Well... Horrible. Sickeningly negative if the negativity encompasses and penetrates me. I have learned how to keep myself away from this. Get R.E.M. sleep, which means heavily limiting mind altering substances.. ESPECIALLY mood altering substances, such as caffeine. Heavy exercise is needed to strike a lighting bolt next to the white knight when he falls asleep, lol. To awaken the fighting spirit. Basically just being moral will keep the darkness at bay.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Currently present. After fighting it a while, it gets tiring. Fantasizing about ripping someone a new asshole (verbally) is not nearly as satisfying as actually doing it. And it only comes to this point if this person has committed a collective number of other follies to others or myself. I define this as my dark side because deep down- I hate humanity. It's nothing personal. Mostly. It's just, we can be really shit sometimes. But sometimes, it surfaces and it's really hard not to retrieve even further back into my cave. A fair amount of good things come from my dark side though- confidence and general lack of fucks given. And I'll admit, the attributes of my dark side- domination and aggression- can feel pretty fucking awesome when your whole life hasn't exactly been in your favour. Yeah, I know. Awful.

I'll feel guilty next week.
Understandable, it can be satisfying to indulge in it. The guilt it causes afterwards I believe is more painful than putting energy into keeping it dormant. However, it all depends on the circumstances and the state were in I guess. Maybe you and other INFJs can relate to this quote by Fyodor Dostoyevsky :


“The more I love humanity in general the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, I often make plans for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually face crucifixion if it were suddenly necessary. Yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together. I know from experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs me and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me. But it has always happened that the more I hate men individually the more I love humanity.”
 
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