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Discussion Starter #1
Hello
I've been together with my girlfriend for 7 months now, Time passes by so fast, but the thing is, we havent yet really said I love you to eachother in a real and wholeheartedly way, and in a way that it is mutual. I am comitted, and I really wanto love her and wish her all the best, and I've told her that. But we have not come to the point where it's natural to say "I love you" like after we have been together and depart etc. In my native tounge I usually use the word, closely translated "I'm very fond of you" / "I like you very much". It's hard to translate into english, since love in english can consist of so much, but you get what I mean.

So my question is, how long before you can say "I love you"?
Is it wierd to not have said it to eachother after 7 months?
How long did it take for you guys?

Note: She is a ESTJ & Enneagram 6w7 most likly.
Thanks for your input
 

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QUEEN PEEN
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I try to wait for the other party to say it first. I have a tendency to be a bit of an "I love you" whore. I love so deeply so quickly, but busting out the "I love you's" too early can really turn a partner off. That's why I like to wait to say it until my partner is comfortable enough to express it :) I may WANT to do it first, but I hold back until my partner is comfortable with it. After the first "I love you's" are uttered, I practically vomit "I love you" for the next few weeks xD
 

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I used to have some sort of "rule" where it had to be at least after one month, otherwise it creeped me out. @timeless disagreed with this and told me after... a week I think. And I weirdly felt the exact same way. I was so shocked though, I made him say it again just so that I could say "I love you too" because when he first said it I sat there on the phone like "uhh... ohhh...hmmm....uhhhh" for 10 minutes. :p

So I guess say it when you mean it. When you -really- really really mean it and you simply cannot hold it in any longer. :happy:
 

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QUEEN PEEN
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I used to have some sort of "rule" where it had to be at least after one month, otherwise it creeped me out. @timeless disagreed with this and told me after... a week I think. And I weirdly felt the exact same way. I was so shocked though, I made him say it again just so that I could say "I love you too" because when he first said it I sat there on the phone like "uhh... ohhh...hmmm....uhhhh" for 10 minutes. :p

So I guess say it when you mean it. When you -really- really really mean it and you simply cannot hold it in any longer. :happy:
I do agree with this :) Sometimes, it really is that quick! It kinda just sneaks up on you and wraps you up in a gooey web :p
 

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(ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧
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I used to have some sort of "rule" where it had to be at least after one month, otherwise it creeped me out. @timeless disagreed with this and told me after... a week I think. And I weirdly felt the exact same way. I was so shocked though, I made him say it again just so that I could say "I love you too" because when he first said it I sat there on the phone like "uhh... ohhh...hmmm....uhhhh" for 10 minutes. :p

So I guess say it when you mean it. When you -really- really really mean it and you simply cannot hold it in any longer. :happy:
Haha that was so cute

Me: "I love you"
You: "???"
Me: "was that the wrong thing to say?"
You: "No say it again"
Me: "I love you"
You: "I love you too"

<3
 

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Four months and two weeks, a day and eleven hours, eight minutes, twenty-seven seconds from the time your eyes meet and not one second before!
(Or when you are sure its not just infatuation.)
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I try to wait for the other party to say it first. I have a tendency to be a bit of an "I love you" whore. I love so deeply so quickly, but busting out the "I love you's" too early can really turn a partner off. That's why I like to wait to say it until my partner is comfortable enough to express it :) I may WANT to do it first, but I hold back until my partner is comfortable with it. After the first "I love you's" are uttered, I practically vomit "I love you" for the next few weeks xD
Thank you. I will follow this advice. I think I will let her have her time :) I will love her without all the words

That's probably not a terribly good sign. (i.e., the "I really want to" as opposed to "I really do")

(Nor is the 7 months part)

But your heart is in the right place. Good luck.
What I know, love is a choise and a commitment. True love does not simply fade away after couple of years. That is why I say, I wanto love, because I do not feel I live upto what love is. Because if I really loved her, I would do so much more for her, and I would be more patient and demand less for myself. I don't want low standards for love, because she is worth so much more.
 

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QUEEN PEEN
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Thank you. I will follow this advice. I think I will let her have her time :) I will love her without all the words



What I know, love is a choise and a commitment. True love does not simply fade away after couple of years. That is why I say, I wanto love, because I do not feel I live upto what love is. Because if I really loved her, I would do so much more for her, and I would be more patient and demand less for myself. I don't want low standards for love, because she is worth so much more.
Actions speak louder than words, but words are important, too. If you feel love for her, tell her. Seven months seems like a long time to be together and never utter the words. If you love her and you think she deserves a better man, then become the man she deserves. Something tells me she loves you just as you are to begin with... just sayin. Don't be afraid to express your passion if that's how you really feel. Communicate with her. That's the only way to really resolve a matter like this.
 

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Grand Inquisitor
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Wouldn't take me long, except for shyness. I'm usually already 90% in love with them before I talk to them >_>
 

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I can count the times I've said it in 6 years of relationship... but then again, I'm an INTJ...
My SO on the other hand (ISFP), blurts it out at every possible chance. I've joked with her that one of these days she's going to wear out the poor words.

According to my SO it doesn't matter because it seems I let her know in other ways, like my touch (she's incredibly persistent on this one in particular) or my actions. Well, I don't go out of my way or do anything special, I'm just myself.
I suppose when you really love someone it just comes through naturally without you having to say or do anything special.

Edit: When I actually think about it, my SO's touch has something to it that calms me down and makes me feel... hmm... comfy? Peaceful? I suppose that's how I perceive the love in her touch...?
 

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Fu Dominant
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I've never had a problem telling my SO that I loved her. I usually wait until she's comfortable with saying it before I do, but once I consider someone to be my SO, or hell, just even in my circle of friends, I don't mind telling them that I adore them. :eek:) Can't help it, I'm NF, and as INFJ, I'm big-picture thinking. I commit to the long haul in every relationship, so when I say "I love you" I mean it even early on. I've fully expected to live the rest of my life with every SO I've had. Other issues have come up that ended the relationships, but it wasn't from my end.

That said, I totally understand that some people need... well, ages, to be sure it's the "real deal" before they act on it. So that's cool too. I say, go with what works for you. Love isn't about being pressured into anything. Love is patient. Love is kind. All that jazz. ;o)
 

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Say it when it is really love that you are experiencing. You'll know because when you reach that point there can be no risk. You can't lose anything by loving, even if it is unrequited if it is real love, it won't matter, you'll feel joy and pleasure.
 

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If I feel it, I can say it, but I generally don't. I think I said that phrase a grand total of 2 times.
 
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