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Ok, so we have a thread that talks about what ticks an INTJ off, and this is something related, but I thought it would be nice to have a completely new thread.

I am curious - how long does it take for an INTJ to react to anger? Do you anger quickly? What is your anger like? Are they quick bursts of energy? Or massive explosions that build up over a period of time?

What does an INTJ temper look like?
 
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A very long time. It literally takes months. This is also most likely more of an enneagram question rather than MBT as in the past there have been varied answers.

EDIT: Woops. I forgot to add that once I've been roused to anger it's scary, even for me.
 

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Or massive explosions that build up over a period of time?
I thought it was best described in an episode of Dead Like Me:

Mason: Heed his advice, and stay on his good side. He's like a volcano, George, he erupts and he spews lava on all the little villages, they run around and, they run around for their lives. But, you know, he stops, and you can go back to the safety of your own home.

Usually takes a long time and then it's kindof seething more than an explosion. Or less commonly it can be a quick explosion of energy, over almost as quickly as it started. But that's just me. Even then, I'm generally harmless.

 
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I have a very short fuse but then am over it and go back to normal pretty quickly.
 
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EDIT: Woops. I forgot to add that once I've been roused to anger it's scary, even for me.
Agreed! I've been better with it in the past few years but way back when I was just a wee teen, my best friend called me "Boss" because I scared the living piss out of her whenever I got angry. Which was quite often.



For me to get angry it would take some time, but the time is all depending. I suppose it's not hard to get me angry but it IS hard to get me to lash out or really act on that anger.

In order to get to that point I would need undeniable proof that I have a right to be angry. I would need to be sure that my anger is justified and that I'm not just acting on raw flare-ups of emotion, I would need to be sure that I wouldn't later regret having become the 'monster.'
 

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It's like INTJ has a thresold intensity and it is very large. It's not like massive explosion or accumulated, for me. We usually are not easy to get angry but if the stimulus is really hurting us, like insulting our intelligence or something like that, we will get pissed off and ROAR!! Usually after we burst out quickly, we'll realize it's our fault to lose control so we calm down in a sudden.

*ROAR means some very rude words and attitude.
 

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A very long time. It literally takes months. This is also most likely more of an enneagram question rather than MBT as in the past there have been varied answers.
Agreed, it would depend on sx/so/sp and tritype ordering. e.g. 5-4/3-x would think and ruminate/sublimate for long periods of time before any emotions would surface. Gut types like 8 would get in your face on a moment's notice.
 

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Agreed, it would depend on sx/so/sp and tritype ordering. e.g. 5-4/3-x would think and ruminate/sublimate for long periods of time before any emotions would surface. Gut types like 8 would get in your face on a moment's notice.
How about type 6? My first is 6w5.
 

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Anger is a semi rare phenomenon for me. Last time I was truly angry was age 14, and before that I would experience the emotion every few years. Basically, massive explosions that build up over time and release to leave nothing standing.

Dealing with the stress in a healthier way has prevented the "explosions" over the past 5 years.
 

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It really depends on how important that certain thing is. For example, if someone was late for a meeting with me without adequate reason, I wouldn't be bothered. If someone was late for 30 minutes once for perhaps lunch, I would just keep my annoyance in. But if that certain someone keeps being 15-30 minutes late I would get pretty damn pissed. If we were to eat together 6 days a week, that would be less than a week. Of course, you've also got to take into account whether that someone called to say he/she was going to be late etc.

A year ago, I would get angry at everything, but I don't do that anymore these days. In fact, compared to before, I'm pretty patient these days. I haven't exploded for quite a while- I'm learning to say it before the anger gets too out of hand.
 

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My INTJ husband has a long fuse. He is the calmest person i know. He rarely gets angry and when he does it takes a lot for him to express that. When he does express it, i feel pain. Its not easy for him to show this kind of harsh emotion. It doesn't take much to piss him off, although being pissed off and angry are two different things. He will dismiss people who piss him off, they're are not worthy of his time and energy. He can hold anger in for mts, sometimes years, i swear. He told me something not long ago about a person that made him angry a few years ago. It didn't have anything to do with us so he didn't feel it was necessary to express that sooner. Us ENFP seem to burden people with our emotions at times much more than any INTJ ever would or could.
 

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I think everyone has a different threshold when it comes to emotions like anger, but it is more correlated with Enneagram than MBTI.

I'm very, very slow to anger in most cases. It takes months or more for me to get angry.

However, certain cases can set me off faster than dynamite... and that shit is scary. I've noticed that sort of anger tends to lash out when people attack certain loved ones of mine that I feel need or want my defense in the situation. It's so intense that it feels like an out-of-body experience when it happens.



For example (aka, YAY! Story time!):

Back when I was in high school (a scrawny, 5'9", 115 lb computer nerd), my little sister was invited on a date with the football quarterback at our school (a brawny, 6'2", 190+lb dude). I was at home with my mother on the day they went out and they weren't gone for more than 15 minutes before my sister burst through the door shaking so badly she dropped her keys. As soon as the door was shut she burst into tears and fell on her knees, trembling and wheezing.

My immediate reaction = "WHERE IS HE?!" bellowing out in a snarl as every hair on my body stood up and my back arched into some creepy bear like pose. I stormed out of the house before I got an answer and found the boy in question standing in our walkway and honed in on him like a tracking missile... and this kid ran like he was facing Satan himself.

I took him by so much surprise that he had dropped his keys and tried to hide behind his car as I was jumping on top of it (literally growling like an animal :unsure:). At some point, my mom's shouts came through into my cranium and I was able to make out that it wasn't him that made my sister upset, but by then I had so much adrenaline pumping through my veins I couldn't get the He's evil, kill that bastard! mantra out of my head, so even as I walked back to my house I was still giving him this sidelong deathstare, like you just wait.

Anyway, it turned out to all be a big (alright, HUGE) misunderstanding, and it was actually that my sister had been notified of a close friend's death while on the date.

Needless to say, that guy never took her on a date again. :laughing:
 

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In hindsight, 90% of my anger is the result of frustration, usually at myself while being stumped at solving some problem or becoming stuck. In enneagram speak, its my 5 hitting some circular impasse and wing 4 directing the anger inwards to the self. Addressing this often boils down to just picking a route and going with it while deflecting frustration by turning the experience into something constructive.
 

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If you're both stupid and stubborn, expect me to get irritated in short time. However, the irritated version of me prefers to cease contact with the source of the problem so the situation doesn't evolve further.
It takes a lot of time to get me angry and it's not a continuous transition, it works like this: this sequence of events (you irritate me, I leave, I get calm, you irritate me again...) has to be repeated for quite some time to bring me on the edge. At that point if you do something really bad I skip irritation and I get immediately become very angry.

I don't like being angry, it's like watching a cut-scene during a video game in which your character does something that you don't want him to do: you know what is happening, you want to stop it but you simply have not the power to intervene. Also, I'm afraid that I could do something really stupid.
 

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Ok, so we have a thread that talks about what ticks an INTJ off, and this is something related, but I thought it would be nice to have a completely new thread.

I am curious - how long does it take for an INTJ to react to anger? Do you anger quickly? What is your anger like? Are they quick bursts of energy? Or massive explosions that build up over a period of time?

What does an INTJ temper look like?
It depends. If it's a situation I already imagined, I can (appear to) get angry very quickly. But if it's a totally new surprise situation, I don't react at all. I just take it all in and then later decide how to react.
 

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I seem to be a bit more of a P when I'm around my friends, but it's still very obvious that I am an INTJ. Around my friends, only when they do something that is truly a pet peeve do I get upset. Mostly things like lacking common sense. My fuse is shorter around those who are closer to me. Of course, those who are closest to me are NFs, and only give one step at a time(even when I ask for further explanation of what they're trying to do), are emotionally needy(most of them). I think I only know one NT. I'm trying to find a way to change that.

Short answer: Yes, my fuse is short around those closest to me. If those who are around me get over it fast, though, I usually will too.
 

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How long is a piece of string? I knew from the title that an INTJ didn't start this thread. :tongue:

I am generally very calm, but explode maybe once a year. If you are on the receiving end, and I have been quietly tolerating what I consider to be your deficiencies for some time, then I will probably roll them all out. Internal lists come in handy at such times. :laughing:
 

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Looooong fuse. I have only been truly angry twice in my twenty years of existence.

It doesn't take much for me to be irritated (hell, I'm normally in some form of irritation), and it doesn't take much more for me to be frustrated. But angry? I really don't get angry; I don't like to get angry at people unless I have a good reason to. The two people I have become angry with deserved it, and knew they deserved it, and haven't done that anger-inducing behavior since. I've been told I make a very terrifying person when I'm angry.
 

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A very long time. It literally takes months. This is also most likely more of an enneagram question rather than MBT as in the past there have been varied answers.

EDIT: Woops. I forgot to add that once I've been roused to anger it's scary, even for me.
----^ This, and it's very rare.
 
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