[The Great One]

How many of you other ENFP's love to be the center of attention and have a strong need to be liked?

I think that this would describe me pretty well, btw.

 

[Linnifae]

I prefer to be liked than not, but it depends on why someone doesn't like me. If it's because I hurt them or because there is a misconception about me, it bothers me a lot. If it's because they don't like my interests or find my sense of humor annoying or think i dress weird or something, that's really more their problem than mine.

As for center of attention, yes, I love it, under controlled circumstances. I like performing on stage. I've done theatre, sang, etc. I'm not one of those people though that think any kind of attention is good attention. I don't do stupid things just to get it. I'd rather demonstrate a talent or tell a joke. If the circumstances aren't right for it, I can be content to stay in the background.

 

[bubbly00]

I know it pretty much says we are attention whores, but to be honest i don't like to be put on the spotlight like that. Maybe when i was younger, in my teens i gravitated to that in an effort for everyone to like me, but not so much anymore.

It just finally resonated with me that not everyone will like me, there will always be someone that will dislike you because of what and who you are. This was super hard to accept and saddened me greatly for a long time. I think i still to some degree alter something about me in an effort to impress/be liked but it doesn't happen as much as it use to. I this thought process more now 'well screw you' phrase more and walk away,'its not like im lack friends, so who needs you.'

as for center of attention, I really do like a balance. I like observing from the sidelines as much as i like getting into the fray. so its def not all the time, and standing out, not all the time either.

 

[Tridentus]

as long as a handful of people love me, quite a few people like me..
i don't give a crap if other people don't like me, although i would prefer it if they did..

 

[kaycee]

I would prefer everyone love me, but as I've gotten older, I've become more tolerant of people not loving me. When my confidence is low, the problem comes up again.

I do love to be the center of attention, but again, as I've gotten older, I've calmed down a bit. I have figured out how to get people to WANT to pay attention to me rather than forcing people to look my way.


Although, when I first get into a situation, I like to blend in and get my bearings. I like to get a read of people and see just how I should act so they feel comfortable and things don't get awkward.

 

[ikky36]

I love being the center of attention. It's why I like 1 on 1 conversation, small groups and performing. It's easy to control the crowd in those cases and be all like "hey, look at me only/mostly". Throw me in a party with alcohol or a costume party, however, and I will have talked to everyone that night and hit on by at least 5 :tongue:

 

[Essay]

Heh, no, it's not me---or at least, not anymore. I've never been the centre-of-attention type, unless I get the feeling other people want me to take on that role.

As far as being liked goes, it's kind of like I'm designed for it. I do what my Fi tells me to do, and my Fi acts to make the lives of those around me comfy. I'm quick enough to change and adapt to others that I don't think I'll ever end up rubbing them the wrong way for long, and if it would cause me stress to keep on someone's good side, that means there's usually nothing stopping me from cutting off ties with them.

 

[Love Obsessed]

I don't care to be the center of attention. I do I have a strong desire to be liked. But I've learned that not everybody going to like you- it hurt. But I'll got over it.

 

[GoGo]

I definitely enjoy positive feedback and attention, but it's not something that in person I actively pursue. It just happens. Anyone can debate the altruism behind the ENFP's actions, but at the end of the day, (call me an attention whore, but) the positive attention is great.

I've come to realize that not everyone is going to like me, but I've also come to realize that I actively try not to give any reason for people to dislike me, and that I very seldom do. At that point, if someone does dislike me, I've really done everything that I can do, and it's no longer my problem.

If it is because of something I did, or a misunderstanding, yes, I become very anxious. A couple weeks ago, I made a joke to a friend about her boyfriend and she laughed and didn't say anything. A week later I found out that she had broken up with him, so I immediately texted her and apologized.

At the end of the day, if you like me, I like you. Simple.

 

[The Great One]

I've also done well in activities that require you to be the center of attention. I used to sing, I've done public speaking, I've been a musician. Most people also tell me to try acting because they think that I'd be amazing at it....that's next.

 

[pinkrasputin]

Wow. I LOVE calling myself an attention whore. In fact, I should have put it as my user name. Don't be all taking my idea now, K?

Anyway. Being the center of attention or "away" from the rest of the people helps me with social anxiety. See? I'm still not playing with the group. It's my way of "removal".

I really believe I needed a lot of attention or approval up into my 20s. I had a professional performance career that was built on receiving validation from others. HOWEVER, once I finally grew up and learned to validate myself as most of us do, I had to redefine my life and the things I did.

Since I no longer needed validation from others, did I still need to perform or sing? Should I stay along the same career path or change? What things were in my life because of what others TOLD me I should be doing and what things do I really enjoy doing?

It was a scary moment in my life when I faced that. Was my life long love and passion for performing purely based on other's approval? Or was there something else that motivated me? Same questions with the running, the teaching, the aerobics.....

The marathoning was easy. Because I rarely received kudos for it anyway. Most considered me a freak for doing it anyway. I knew it was about personal fulfillment.

But I went back into performing. And when I did I realized it's something that I loved with a passion. I firmly believe in doing what you are passionate about. You will never lack motivation. That's why I needed to find out if my motivation was built on validation or truly a love to perform.

And what I found out is that even though it comes easy to me, I do love performing. Performing IS about me for so many personal reasons. It is not about the validation from others. It's about me, for me, it IS me.

So there you go. I still don't mind being an attention whore. Sometimes I purposely want to put the focus on me because I want to help an entire group of people at once. I do love teaching as well. As well as I love entertaining people to make THEM happy.

So go ahead and give me attention. I will either entertain you or teach you.

But honestly, it is more comfortable on the side lines in social situations. Opening up to people and new situations can sting like a bitch. I try to remain incognito for as long as I can so I can keep people at arms distance. When I first came to the forum, I remembered I floated around a lot and really felt like I had freedom and could drop my guard because nobody really knew me. They had little expectations of me. That was nice.

So I go from hiding to the main focus. I fluctuate. But I don't like the feeling of getting lost in the crowd. I'd rather just hang out with 1 or 2 people.

Damn, ENFPs really are the most introverted extrovert.

 

[Classy]

I prefer to fly under the radar, to much attention and you lose your anonymity.
I'm quite alright with not being liked saves me the trouble of being fake.
Though I must note that its a rare occasion that I find someone who is displeasing.
As I've gotten older and wiser I've learned that some don't make good friends.
More often than not I'm the quiet observer type, but put a few brews in me and well:shocked:....

 

[pinkrasputin]

I prefer to fly under the radar, to much attention and you lose your anonymity.

I totally understand this.

 

[limelight3]

I've never needed to be the CENTER necessarily, but I have always loved being loved by others. It's partly why I enjoy working with younger kids so much. They're still in the "You're so cool, I wanna be just like you" phase. Which is sad, and kind of embarrassing. :blushed:

I've gotten better at pretending I don't care if someone doesn't like me, but it'll usually bother me for a long time, and I'll go out of my way to try and be friends with the person. Classic example was where I made some comment about the dumb janitors at my work.....I didn't mean it quite as meanly as it came out, and I had been having a bad day, but one of the custodians overheard me and wrote this really angry note to me. I felt SOOO bad! I wrote this huge apology note, and made cookies and kind of had a mental breakdown that I had done something to make someone dislike me so much. It never really got resolved, and to this DAY it bothers me that he never accepted my apology. (Though he did eat my cookies. :angry

 

[pinkrasputin]

I've never needed to be the CENTER necessarily, but I have always loved being loved by others. It's partly why I enjoy working with younger kids so much. They're still in the "You're so cool, I wanna be just like you" phase. Which is sad, and kind of embarrassing. :blushed:

I've gotten better at pretending I don't care if someone doesn't like me, but it'll usually bother me for a long time, and I'll go out of my way to try and be friends with the person. Classic example was where I made some comment about the dumb janitors at my work.....I didn't mean it quite as meanly as it came out, and I had been having a bad day, but one of the custodians overheard me and wrote this really angry note to me. I felt SOOO bad! I wrote this huge apology note, and made cookies and kind of had a mental breakdown that I had done something to make someone dislike me so much. It never really got resolved, and to this DAY it bothers me that he never accepted my apology. (Though he did eat my cookies. :angry

Hahahaha! I can relate to this too. As I was reading your story I was identifying with you so much. But I was like "Where does he live? He doesn't understand. We must track him down and make him love you."

Hee hee. That's what I do too. It's like I want to say "No, you don't understand. You shouldn't hate me. I'm a good person! Nobody hates me. Wait you are misinterpreting something I said. We need to discuss this because if you knew me, you would love me like all the rest. I'm pure, I have good intentions. LOVE ME DAMMIT so then I can go on with my life and leave you alone." :laughing:

 

[limelight3]

Hahahaha! I can relate to this too. As I was reading your story I was identifying with you so much. But I was like "Where does he live? He doesn't understand. We must track him down and make him love you."

Hee hee. That's what I do too. It's like I want to say "No, you don't understand. You shouldn't hate me. I'm a good person! Nobody hates me. Wait you are misinterpreting something I said. We need to discuss this because if you knew me, you would love me like all the rest. I'm pure, I have good intentions. LOVE ME DAMMIT so then I can go on with my life and leave you alone." :laughing:

hahaha yeah! I'm glad I'm not the only who does this...I'm not as strange as I thought. :laughing: I really hate it when it happens too. Then I just feel like a jerk, and it'll haunt me for forever. I'll go on a rant or something, and once I cool down, I just keep thinking "God. You just made a HUGE ass of yourself. Way to stand up for your beliefs, but you just pissed everyone off while doing it. GOOD JOB MORON. You could've argued and not been jerk. Now everyone hates you." .....and then my sleep goes out the window. :frustrating:

 

[The Great One]

Wow. I LOVE calling myself an attention whore. In fact, I should have put it as my user name. Don't be all taking my idea now, K?

Anyway. Being the center of attention or "away" from the rest of the people helps me with social anxiety. See? I'm still not playing with the group. It's my way of "removal".

I really believe I needed a lot of attention or approval up into my 20s. I had a professional performance career that was built on receiving validation from others. HOWEVER, once I finally grew up and learned to validate myself as most of us do, I had to redefine my life and the things I did.

Since I no longer needed validation from others, did I still need to perform or sing? Should I stay along the same career path or change? What things were in my life because of what others TOLD me I should be doing and what things do I really enjoy doing?

It was a scary moment in my life when I faced that. Was my life long love and passion for performing purely based on other's approval? Or was there something else that motivated me? Same questions with the running, the teaching, the aerobics.....

The marathoning was easy. Because I rarely received kudos for it anyway. Most considered me a freak for doing it anyway. I knew it was about personal fulfillment.

But I went back into performing. And when I did I realized it's something that I loved with a passion. I firmly believe in doing what you are passionate about. You will never lack motivation. That's why I needed to find out if my motivation was built on validation or truly a love to perform.

And what I found out is that even though it comes easy to me, I do love performing. Performing IS about me for so many personal reasons. It is not about the validation from others. It's about me, for me, it IS me.

So there you go. I still don't mind being an attention whore. Sometimes I purposely want to put the focus on me because I want to help an entire group of people at once. I do love teaching as well. As well as I love entertaining people to make THEM happy.

So go ahead and give me attention. I will either entertain you or teach you.

But honestly, it is more comfortable on the side lines in social situations. Opening up to people and new situations can sting like a bitch. I try to remain incognito for as long as I can so I can keep people at arms distance. When I first came to the forum, I remembered I floated around a lot and really felt like I had freedom and could drop my guard because nobody really knew me. They had little expectations of me. That was nice.

So I go from hiding to the main focus. I fluctuate. But I don't like the feeling of getting lost in the crowd. I'd rather just hang out with 1 or 2 people.

Damn, ENFPs really are the most introverted extrovert.

My God, we are so much alike. I can relate to this, SO MUCH!