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How many of you other ENFP's love to be the center of attention and have a strong need to be liked?
I think that this would describe me pretty well, btw.
I think that this would describe me pretty well, btw.
I totally understand this.I prefer to fly under the radar, to much attention and you lose your anonymity.
Hahahaha! I can relate to this too. As I was reading your story I was identifying with you so much. But I was like "Where does he live? He doesn't understand. We must track him down and make him love you."I've never needed to be the CENTER necessarily, but I have always loved being loved by others. It's partly why I enjoy working with younger kids so much. They're still in the "You're so cool, I wanna be just like you" phase. Which is sad, and kind of embarrassing. :blushed:
I've gotten better at pretending I don't care if someone doesn't like me, but it'll usually bother me for a long time, and I'll go out of my way to try and be friends with the person. Classic example was where I made some comment about the dumb janitors at my work.....I didn't mean it quite as meanly as it came out, and I had been having a bad day, but one of the custodians overheard me and wrote this really angry note to me. I felt SOOO bad! I wrote this huge apology note, and made cookies and kind of had a mental breakdown that I had done something to make someone dislike me so much. It never really got resolved, and to this DAY it bothers me that he never accepted my apology. (Though he did eat my cookies. :angry![]()
Hahahaha! I can relate to this too. As I was reading your story I was identifying with you so much. But I was like "Where does he live? He doesn't understand. We must track him down and make him love you."
Hee hee. That's what I do too. It's like I want to say "No, you don't understand. You shouldn't hate me. I'm a good person! Nobody hates me. Wait you are misinterpreting something I said. We need to discuss this because if you knew me, you would love me like all the rest. I'm pure, I have good intentions. LOVE ME DAMMIT so then I can go on with my life and leave you alone." :laughing:
My God, we are so much alike. I can relate to this, SO MUCH!Wow. I LOVE calling myself an attention whore. In fact, I should have put it as my user name. Don't be all taking my idea now, K?
Anyway. Being the center of attention or "away" from the rest of the people helps me with social anxiety. See? I'm still not playing with the group. It's my way of "removal".
I really believe I needed a lot of attention or approval up into my 20s. I had a professional performance career that was built on receiving validation from others. HOWEVER, once I finally grew up and learned to validate myself as most of us do, I had to redefine my life and the things I did.
Since I no longer needed validation from others, did I still need to perform or sing? Should I stay along the same career path or change? What things were in my life because of what others TOLD me I should be doing and what things do I really enjoy doing?
It was a scary moment in my life when I faced that. Was my life long love and passion for performing purely based on other's approval? Or was there something else that motivated me? Same questions with the running, the teaching, the aerobics.....
The marathoning was easy. Because I rarely received kudos for it anyway. Most considered me a freak for doing it anyway. I knew it was about personal fulfillment.
But I went back into performing. And when I did I realized it's something that I loved with a passion. I firmly believe in doing what you are passionate about. You will never lack motivation. That's why I needed to find out if my motivation was built on validation or truly a love to perform.
And what I found out is that even though it comes easy to me, I do love performing. Performing IS about me for so many personal reasons. It is not about the validation from others. It's about me, for me, it IS me.
So there you go. I still don't mind being an attention whore. Sometimes I purposely want to put the focus on me because I want to help an entire group of people at once. I do love teaching as well. As well as I love entertaining people to make THEM happy.
So go ahead and give me attention. I will either entertain you or teach you.
But honestly, it is more comfortable on the side lines in social situations. Opening up to people and new situations can sting like a bitch. I try to remain incognito for as long as I can so I can keep people at arms distance. When I first came to the forum, I remembered I floated around a lot and really felt like I had freedom and could drop my guard because nobody really knew me. They had little expectations of me. That was nice.
So I go from hiding to the main focus. I fluctuate. But I don't like the feeling of getting lost in the crowd. I'd rather just hang out with 1 or 2 people.
Damn, ENFPs really are the most introverted extrovert.