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Spam-I-am
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Discussion Starter #1
this is open to all generations
just curious to see
my mother died to breast cancer 14 y/a this xmas
me papa this July from A.L.S.
it was brief 4 months
I do have 1 brother
1 sister both are major douche bags
 

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MOTM June 2015
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My dad had a massive heart attack and died when he was 59 years old. He's been gone now for 14 years.

My mother is still living and in decent health, she is 74 years old. I also have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. I am the oldest (53) and they remind me of that regularly.
 

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MOTM June 2015
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Tried to edit my previous post but edit seems to be broke.

Just wanted to add that I was sorry to read about the passing of your father. I recall you talking about him in the past.
 

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Spam-I-am
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Discussion Starter #6
@jamaix @withwater
25 is to young to have non one
[hugs] since PerC is having issues
I'm the youngest at 55 but I do rub it in my sisters face that she is 2 years older than me lol
 

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My mother passed away from complications of leukemia in 1979. She was 48 and I was 23 and and already out of college and married for a year at the time. My only brother (at the time) was 15 at the time, so it was a bit tougher on him than it was for me. My wife sort of became his surrogate mother.

My dad is still going pretty strong at 88. Still doesn't take a single prescription (yes, he sees doctors... just no need), but he's been in a wheelchair for the past 25 years or so... he contracted polio at age 4 and walked with a limp most of his life, but by the time he reached his mid-60s he no longer had enough strength in his good leg to keep himself upright.

A few years after my mom died, my dad got remarried to a younger woman (about 10 years older than me). They had two more sons... one is just a few weeks younger than my son. Both are now 34 and yes... wife and stepmom were both pregnant at the same time, which didn't bother me directly but was a great source of consternation for my wife. My youngest brother (now 30) is a year younger than my daughter.

Other than the friction (that still raises its head occasionally) from the simultaneous pregnancies, we all were and remain very close. We all lived in the same small town in NJ until I moved to NC back in '93 for work. A few years later my dad and his new family followed us down here, and a few years after that my full brother moved down here with his family as well.

My dad is at his absolute happiest on those occasions when all four of his boys are together at his house, which gets to happen fairly often, but never often enough for him.
 

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I lost my mother on the operating table . Saw her die slowly getting weaker and weaker every month . I was 91/2 and she was 37.

My dad is still alive , yet he gave up on living and still has some hatred over my mother ( never had a good relationship ) . He isnt going to live in ten years the way hes acting / doing things tbh. hes 57.
 
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I have both parents still, although my father's mental health has been deteriorating for the past few years, I'm hoping I don't lose him to suicide. I have no contact with my mother.
 

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My mom died almost 12 years ago at 77. She died from the same chronic pain condition that I have because she took every drug her doctors gave her and it was the cocktail of prednisone and morphine that disintegrated her spine and eventually caused her to stop breathing. I too have trigeminal and occipital neuralgias (coincidental, not familial) and I will not take any pharmaceuticals for the pain.My dad is doing well at 88. Like @jcal's dad, he too had polio as a child and has never been able to walk very well. I saw him try to run once and he broke his ankle into 12 pieces. He skied until about 10 years ago but decided to quit when he could no longer get up without help after a fall. Mentally he is as sharp as he ever was. He lives in a condo with a walkup and he goes up and down every day using his arms on the bannisters for support. He drives all over the country by himself to visit his kids and grandkids. And I believe he could still perform surgery in a pinch. My mom was the most confident person I've ever known. There was literally nothing she couldn't teach herself to do and do extremely well. She was a surgeon too when there were not many female doctors in the world. She was also a concert pianist who loved Schubert and Chopin and the best athlete I've ever seen. She could beat all six of her sons one-on-one in basketball until she figured our fragile male egos couldn't handle being beat by our mom and then she let us win. She could beat us all love-love in tennis playing with her left hand. She was a great skier, runner, swimmer, kayaker... Her last words were, "I think I'll go kayaking in the Mohawk tomorrow." My dad replied, "It's winter. The river is full of ice." and she just shrugged, "I'll wear a heavy t-shirt." We buried her with her paddle.She taught me how to throw a curve ball and how to mount my own ski bindings when I was about nine. She taught me how to play piano, guitar, and mandolin. She taught me everything I know about camping and backpacking. She is the parent I get my adventure gene from. I miss her but also feel her presence in my life every day.
 

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Spam-I-am
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My mom died almost 12 years ago at 77. She died from the same chronic pain condition that I have because she took every drug her doctors gave her and it was the cocktail of prednisone and morphine that disintegrated her spine and eventually caused her to stop breathing. I too have trigeminal and occipital neuralgias (coincidental, not familial) and I will not take any pharmaceuticals for the pain.My dad is doing well at 88. Like @jcal's dad, he too had polio as a child and has never been able to walk very well. I saw him try to run once and he broke his ankle into 12 pieces. He skied until about 10 years ago but decided to quit when he could no longer get up without help after a fall. Mentally he is as sharp as he ever was. He lives in a condo with a walkup and he goes up and down every day using his arms on the bannisters for support. He drives all over the country by himself to visit his kids and grandkids. And I believe he could still perform surgery in a pinch. My mom was the most confident person I've ever known. There was literally nothing she couldn't teach herself to do and do extremely well. She was a surgeon too when there were not many female doctors in the world. She was also a concert pianist who loved Schubert and Chopin and the best athlete I've ever seen. She could beat all six of her sons one-on-one in basketball until she figured our fragile male egos couldn't handle being beat by our mom and then she let us win. She could beat us all love-love in tennis playing with her left hand. She was a great skier, runner, swimmer, kayaker... Her last words were, "I think I'll go kayaking in the Mohawk tomorrow." My dad replied, "It's winter. The river is full of ice." and she just shrugged, "I'll wear a heavy t-shirt." We buried her with her paddle.She taught me how to throw a curve ball and how to mount my own ski bindings when I was about nine. She taught me how to play piano, guitar, and mandolin. She taught me everything I know about camping and backpacking. She is the parent I get my adventure gene from. I miss her but also feel her presence in my life every day.
No family period.
25.
My dad had a massive heart attack and died when he was 59 years old. He's been gone now for 14 years.

My mother is still living and in decent health, she is 74 years old. I also have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. I am the oldest (53) and they remind me of that regularly.
My mother passed away from complications of leukemia in 1979. She was 48 and I was 23 and and already out of college and married for a year at the time. My only brother (at the time) was 15 at the time, so it was a bit tougher on him than it was for me. My wife sort of became his surrogate mother.

My dad is still going pretty strong at 88. Still doesn't take a single prescription (yes, he sees doctors... just no need), but he's been in a wheelchair for the past 25 years or so... he contracted polio at age 4 and walked with a limp most of his life, but by the time he reached his mid-60s he no longer had enough strength in his good leg to keep himself upright.

A few years after my mom died, my dad got remarried to a younger woman (about 10 years older than me). They had two more sons... one is just a few weeks younger than my son. Both are now 34 and yes... wife and stepmom were both pregnant at the same time, which didn't bother me directly but was a great source of consternation for my wife. My youngest brother (now 30) is a year younger than my daughter.

Other than the friction (that still raises its head occasionally) from the simultaneous pregnancies, we all were and remain very close. We all lived in the same small town in NJ until I moved to NC back in '93 for work. A few years later my dad and his new family followed us down here, and a few years after that my full brother moved down here with his family as well.

My dad is at his absolute happiest on those occasions when all four of his boys are together at his house, which gets to happen fairly often, but never often enough for him.
We lost my dad almost 6 years ago, he was 64. I was 21 at the time.
I lost my mother on the operating table . Saw her die slowly getting weaker and weaker every month . I was 91/2 and she was 37.

My dad is still alive , yet he gave up on living and still has some hatred over my mother ( never had a good relationship ) . He isnt going to live in ten years the way hes acting / doing things tbh. hes 57.
I have both parents still, although my father's mental health has been deteriorating for the past few years, I'm hoping I don't lose him to suicide. I have no contact with my mother.
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
 

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My mom was in good health & 4 years younger than my dad. She was taking care of him until she got a brain tumor & died 4 months later after 2 surgeries. That was 2011 & she was 80. My dad was already in poor health & his body just shut down & stopped in 2014. He was 87. He used to cry about outliving my mom & I know he had to think about all the abuse he gave her over the decades. He was an angry bitter man until my mom died. I get along great with my brother but my sister & I no longer speak. Sort of the reverse of our childhood.
 
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My parents are in their early 80's. I'm really grateful that they're still here. Their health is fairly good but my dad has been having memory problems in the last year. They were childhood sweethearts and are really close so I dread when one passes away because the one left will just be devastated.
 

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queen of glitter gnomes
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My dad passed away in 2012 at the age of 92. My mom has dementia and is in a nursing home. She is now 96 years old. It is sad to watch her decline like that. She has lost the urge to live.
 

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Vinnie- I'm sorry for your loss. My last parent (father) died when I was 54. In spite of having been on my own since age 19, it was a crushing blow to me. To this day I cannot explain why it was so hard on me. Although I had always wished that I had had a closer relationship with him, I hadn't seen him face to face in quite a few years (except for seeing him in the hospital before he went into surgery). Our contact for at least the last 10 years was basically a near-weekly phone call. I cannot identify any particular "unfinished business" that needed to be addressed. I had grown up well and had pretty much worked through the issues of our very troubled homelife during my developmental years there. He died when he was 87 and was personally very prepared to move on. I had worked in emotionally intense social services for 20 years by that time, including even being a Hospice volunteer for a time. I should have been able to handle it better than I did. Yet, I blubbered uncontrollably like a baby pretty much through the entire memorial service. To this day (now age 28) I don't deal well with death anymore. Being an INTP, I've analyzed this to death (pun intended), and cannot understand it. I think somehow it might be connected to my parents being viewed, unconsciously as some kind of safety net or relationship connection that I could depend upon. I say all of this, not because you are probably in any mood to hear my story, but to communicate some support that grieving the death of a parent can entail many unexpected complications. I wish you the best as you slosh through the struggle of coming to peace with your new reality. Take care of yourself.
 

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Spam-I-am
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Discussion Starter #18
:rockon::sorrow::hug::hug::hug:
Vinnie- I'm sorry for your loss. My last parent (father) died when I was 54. In spite of having been on my own since age 19, it was a crushing blow to me. To this day I cannot explain why it was so hard on me. Although I had always wished that I had had a closer relationship with him, I hadn't seen him face to face in quite a few years (except for seeing him in the hospital before he went into surgery). Our contact for at least the last 10 years was basically a near-weekly phone call. I cannot identify any particular "unfinished business" that needed to be addressed. I had grown up well and had pretty much worked through the issues of our very troubled homelife during my developmental years there. He died when he was 87 and was personally very prepared to move on. I had worked in emotionally intense social services for 20 years by that time, including even being a Hospice volunteer for a time. I should have been able to handle it better than I did. Yet, I blubbered uncontrollably like a baby pretty much through the entire memorial service. To this day (now age 28) I don't deal well with death anymore. Being an INTP, I've analyzed this to death (pun intended), and cannot understand it. I think somehow it might be connected to my parents being viewed, unconsciously as some kind of safety net or relationship connection that I could depend upon. I say all of this, not because you are probably in any mood to hear my story, but to communicate some support that grieving the death of a parent can entail many unexpected complications. I wish you the best as you slosh through the struggle of coming to peace with your new reality. Take care of yourself.
:ssad:thank you
I'm sorry to hear about you losing your father at such a young age
being NT we have a difficult way of expressing love to those we care deeply about
my father and I separated for several years before we put our ego's aside and put the past to rest
our last 10 years we grew very close and I have zero regrets
I told him that I could not have wished for a better parent as he lay dying :sad: but I am at total ease with being a orphan now:laughing: I hope you find peace and closure with your fathers passing
 

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I moved my mom up from Fla. a couple of years ago after my dad passed. She hung in there a while without him, actually tried to take her life at one point, but is now reasonably happy living in an independent/assisted living home, 10 minute away from me. Best decision I ever made bringing her north. Even though my dad and I locked horns a lot, we reconciled towards the end and I do think about him, miss him. I have 1 younger brother that I love dearly even though he's of no use when it comes to practical matters and getting shit done, but he's all I have besides my mom, and 2 children from my marraige. My kids are both very close to my mom, and that's a win-win. All in all, very small family unit, but we're pretty tight, and I'm thankful for that.
@telepariah, your story really touched me.
 
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Thank you. @Paulie. My dad had an episode over Christmas and was in the hospital for a couple of days with a lot of fluid buildup and congestive heart failure. A dose of lasix took care of the edema and he feels fine now. But that being the first time in his life that I ever saw him sick, I can't help but wonder how much more time we have with him. His sister, who was not as healthy as he is, lived to 93 so I'm hoping we'll have him around for a while yet.
 
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