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I have more female than male friends. I don't typically like to be around a lot of dudes. It always turns into this classic male dominance issue in large group of guys, and then they always make me feel like a pussy, or like I am some type of bitch for being a caring person. Is this just me? How is it for the rest of you NF men?
 

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you get that whole "one upmanship" thing with guys, tis most irritating. it gets really repetitive too, plus my guy friends will tend to recycle the same jokes, basically most of them being "your sister" or "your mom" jokes. i so don't get that whole put-down thing- where is the need?
around girls i can be myself, and i don't have to lay down witty insults every now and then or talk about football to maintain respect.

plus girls are hilarious, not what they say just how they react to things and how much you can poke fun.:happy:
 

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I've gone back and forth on this scale many times in my life; currently, though, more female than male. I've never had a problem making friends, but I've had problems making friends that I feel really connected with.

I tend to connect best with females, as we seem to be interested in similar things, have similar values, and hold similar views – this does make them easier to connect with. However, there have been several males I've been able to connect with on a similar level, and I greatly value those relationships.

In general, I believe the sincerity of the relationship is what is most important, not gender differences.

:wink:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
you get that whole "one upmanship" thing with guys, tis most irritating. it gets really repetitive too, plus my guy friends will tend to recycle the same jokes, basically most of them being "your sister" or "your mom" jokes. i so don't get that whole put-down thing- where is the need?
around girls i can be myself, and i don't have to lay down witty insults every now and then or talk about football to maintain respect.

plus girls are hilarious, not what they say just how they react to things and how much you can poke fun.:happy:
Oh I can easily keep up with the insults. I find it to be fun. However, it seems like there is constant competition to be the alpha male of the group. I once heard a psychology teacher speak on this issue, and I believe that she said it best, "Men in general, are more about status. Each one competes subconsciously to get their manly rank in the social group. Women are more about connections and emotional bonding." Though I am not a woman, I seem to relate more to this. This is why I have more female than male friends
 

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I've had more (close) female friends than guy friends for a whiiile and I feel like it has to do with women being more open to making connections, period. It's not that I necessarily relate to them all the time, but it's like we always accept one another regardless. But guys can be so reserved or detached from one another and it's kind of hard for me to maintain a friendship that just stays on the surface forever. Hell, even I who'd love to have more friendships with guys like I have iwth girls can be reserved around guys. That's not gonna help. It's funny how hard it is to shake all those stupid rules of socialization.
 

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I've gone back and forth on this scale many times in my life; currently, though, more female than male. I've never had a problem making friends, but I've had problems making friends that I feel really connected with.
this is all the same for me

while i currently have way more male than female friends, i find relationships with females are always easier in a way -- there would be a lot of posturing i would have to do to feel like i really relate to most males sometimes. for example, i have never been one to ogle girls, make comments about them, etc. so i always feel awkward when i am with a group of males and there is a round of that. i feel like i am expected to do the same and that makes me really uncomfortable. with females i don't typically feel like i have to act or think a certain way, at least not to the same degree as with males...though that could be a result of my own biases, i dunno
 

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My only close friend is a guy, although pretty much any casual friend I've ever had has been a girl. I find the "antics" of guys my age (I'm 17) rather annoying. And it isn't like I'm some player and have all these girl "friends", that I only keep up the relationship for the purpose of rebounds when my current relationship goes south, they really are just friends. And far less insecure then the almost every guy I've ever met.

For example, if I meet someone new, I might say to a friend that's a girl, "she was nice", and she might say "yeah, she was funny," etc. Where as a guy would say "lolwut!? i wuz just staring at her tits dood! how cud u not!?? i think i might break up with _____ and go bang her instead [email protected]" To which I would sigh and think yes, I know you have a tiny penis....

It's just always a competition with guys, and, idk thats my rant for today lol.

edit: Also, I don't mean to stereotype but girls seem to talk a lot, and as I don't talk much, I find conversations flow much easier with girls as I don't have to think up some comment for every little thing, they can just talk and I'll listen, lol.
 

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Oh I can easily keep up with the insults. I find it to be fun. However, it seems like there is constant competition to be the alpha male of the group. I once heard a psychology teacher speak on this issue, and I believe that she said it best, "Men in general, are more about status. Each one competes subconsciously to get their manly rank in the social group. Women are more about connections and emotional bonding." Though I am not a woman, I seem to relate more to this. This is why I have more female than male friends
oh yeah definetly. this is the ironically stupid thing about my guy friends, there really is no need for this. all it does is prevent the friendship being as good as it could be- and even more ironically girls dig the fact that i'm NOT like this, because it really is pointless, so all i feel is irritation at my guy friends who display this because there is NO reason for it, and why it's so much easier just to be friends with girls- i'm then considered an alpha male and respected anyway just because i know all the females, which is just irritating and pathetic.

i think it's just insecurity really, and the most annoying thing about it is that all most guys can think is that it's the only way any guy CAN think so they assume it on me as well, even though i know better.

although i guess in a way i only feel secure in this because i know i can gain status by befriending women and i don't have to compete directly with guy friends *looks honestly into self*.
 

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I just plain get along better with women. They don't expect me to be anybody other than who I am. Lesbians like me for some reason. I don't mean that in a sexual way. I never knew any growing up because I was raised isolated up in the mountains but when I was grown I worked in the city and met some. They took a shine to me and for some reason I have found that I always make friends with them. I can't explain it. That's just how it is.
 

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Perhaps it's the same for NT females. I've always gotten along better with males...
Not that I haven't enjoyed the company or friendship of females, but I find males easier to talk to about the things I like to talk about and to get along with...
 

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I'm an NF female though and most of my friends have been male, because they've enjoyed talking about music, art, literature etc when a lot of my female friends were only wanting to talk about clothes, boys, etc. But my really close friends have been female. Maybe it was just that the men I was friends with tended to be N? I get on really well with ENFPs, ENFJs and ENTPs
 

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I'm always chatting with women, they're just more interesting! Someone said he seems to bond well with lesbians. I get this too, I totally don't understand why that happens but I've experienced that as well.

I'm very fortunate to have a wife who doesn't see my gift of gab with females as a threat, because it most certainly is not. Maybe that's partly why I can make such great connections with women, they can tell I'm not looking to pick any one up. Smoking hot, totally ugly, young or old it really doesn't matter I'll talk to any woman and it's almost always a pleasant conversation.

As for the the male dominance thing... hahaha I chat with random guys all the time too, tons of fun as well just not generally as deep. I rarely feel the need to play the dominance game, but I'm confident in my skills to achieve the top dog post if I decide that I really want it. I can usually win it pretty easily by messing with his head in a way the rest of the group can appreciate. ENFP is a force for good or evil, I'm not proud but I do know how to do this.
 

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I have a lot of female friends but I have to cut some of them off every now and then. They always call me crying or complaining about something and I get tired of listening to their crap.

My guy friends were easier for me to be around because they're not clingy and don't trip when you don't speak to them for extended periods.
 

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oh yeah definetly. this is the ironically stupid thing about my guy friends, there really is no need for this. all it does is prevent the friendship being as good as it could be- and even more ironically girls dig the fact that i'm NOT like this, because it really is pointless, so all i feel is irritation at my guy friends who display this because there is NO reason for it, and why it's so much easier just to be friends with girls- i'm then considered an alpha male and respected anyway just because i know all the females, which is just irritating and pathetic.

i think it's just insecurity really, and the most annoying thing about it is that all most guys can think is that it's the only way any guy CAN think so they assume it on me as well, even though i know better.

although i guess in a way i only feel secure in this because i know i can gain status by befriending women and i don't have to compete directly with guy friends *looks honestly into self*.
This pretty much describes me as well.

Perhaps it's the same for NT females. I've always gotten along better with males...
Not that I haven't enjoyed the company or friendship of females, but I find males easier to talk to about the things I like to talk about and to get along with...
Hmm...I might make a thead about this.

I have a lot of female friends but I have to cut some of them off every now and then. They always call me crying or complaining about something and I get tired of listening to their crap.

My guy friends were easier for me to be around because they're not clingy and don't trip when you don't speak to them for extended periods.
Are you sure that you are an F and not a T?
 

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Perhaps it's the same for NT females. I've always gotten along better with males...
Not that I haven't enjoyed the company or friendship of females, but I find males easier to talk to about the things I like to talk about and to get along with...
I'm an NF, but the same here. My very first best friends were boys, most of my friends have been boys/men.
 

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Almost all of my friends are NF or SF males. I guess we were lucky to be able to form a clique. The only thing that sucks is no one ever brings girls around unless they're already dating them. So it makes dating for the single ones pretty hard. Although most of us are content with pot and halo for days on end. I guess it's entirely possible to be too chill.
 

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Early on, when I was a little kid, definitely. But when you grow older, that seems to be taboo, and it is simply expected for you to hang out with guys all the time. So of course there's been a lot of that.

But on the whole, early on and especially lately, yeah. Depends which girls, but if you find the right bunch, they're gems! :happy:
 
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