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How Often Do you Talk to your SO?

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I know this is different if you are married, but how often do you talk to your SO when you are dating? I know this is different for everyone, but I am curious. Some people think that a certain amount of communication is normal, while others think it's clingy.

I'm in a long-distance relationship (I have been for three weeks or so; I met the guy during study abroad) and it has been really tough. I feel like I've turned into the person that initiates everything: Skype calls, Facebook messages, etc. In the week and half, we briefly chatted on Skype. We've sent Facebook messages back and forth almost every day, but most of them are something like, "Hey babe; I am going to bed. Love you. Night". He used to send me Facebook messages during the day just asking me how my day was. I miss that and I don't know why he doesn't do that anymore. I feel like there is no conversation anymore. It would be different if I saw this guy in person, but we are living hundreds of miles apart! I feel like we need to have bonding time, even though it is through the internet.

Let me be clear, I know that my boyfriend has a life outside of me. And he should! He has been busy with projects, school, and work. I have been super busy as well! But I really try to make time in my schedule to talk to him. Before, I looked forward to talking to him at the end of the day but that has pretty much ceased. I want to know that he is making an effort, but I feel like he isn't. I see him share pictures on Facebook but he won't ask me how my day was or say 'Hi'. If he has the time to check his phone, doesn't he have the time to take two seconds to send me a message? I really feel like I'm not asking that much. I think the thing that worries me is that if you have a SO, you should want to talk to them, right?

Also, we were talking about living together in June (if I go back to his country) but I really don't feel ready. That was another reason why I wanted to talk to him more, to see if our relationship could grow while we were apart. But he seems to have this attitude of "Well, enjoy your friends and everything there while you can, don't always be connected on the computer...have your own life and we'll see each other soon enough. We'll talk when we can." But moving in together is a huge step and I feel like he hasn't though it through. I feel like he's not ready even though he says that he is. I mean, we hardly communicate how could you be ready to be around a person that much and actually live with them?! For him it is easy to say that, because he wanted to move anyway. I am just a puzzle piece that fits nicely into his already-made puzzle. I feel like I am already playing by his rules. But moving for me is a huge deal -yes, there are personal reasons that are motivators- but I don't know if he really takes my situations, feelings, thoughts, etc. into consideration.

Basically, I feel like I am putting way much more into this relationship than he is. I don't know if I am being clingy or reasonable. I am really thinking about calling it quits because I just feel like my needs aren't getting met in this relationship. But the thing is, when we are on Skype or when we are in person, things are nice. Does anyone have advice on what to do?
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Were you guys previously the types to get into good, long conversations with each other where you were both genuinely interested in what the other had to say?

Do you have mutual interests you'd both enjoy talking about?

I think one potential problem with long-distance relationships is that they can become about relationship maintenance/survival - people holding on to basic communication and saying I love you and whatnot, while the substance of your interactions/connection has diminished.

I've heard of long-distance relationships where people play games online together or watch a movie at the same time and have skype on while they're doing that. I think having something you share and get into together is important, whether it's something you do together online or something you guys both follow (like some kind of sport or politics or developments in your field of interest).

I think sometimes people can pull away from communication because they realise it's been a bit hollow, and they'd rather avoid that awkwardness and effort. Sometimes they pull away because they'd just prefer to be doing things with people in person than over the internet.

You should be able to tell him how this arrangement has been working for you and what you need. (If you can't, or if he doesn't care, then you really don't have much of a relationship.) That's all you need to do. Be honest with him and be ready for an honest answer.

Oh... and not everyone likes to talk about their day. I'm sort of in the habit of doing the checking in "how was your day/what did you get up to" thing with the guy I'm with, but sometimes you can tell that it's a bit of a struggle for us... It's not always that fascinating a topic, and it can feel tedious to have to detail the day's happenings. Whereas hit the right topic or question about an idea or mutual interest and things can suddenly take off.
Maybe and maybe. Confined to your own head, there are infinite maybes.

A relationship should not have to be a guessing game, and when it requires walking on eggshells or making yourself crazy for a protracted period of time that is not good news.

Talking honestly also requires trust. You either need to believe his answers or feel certain that you can read him better than he can explain himself and believe your perception of what's going on with him right now. If he's telling you that the reason why he isn't intiating as much is because he's busy or because he wants you to live your life etc then what's the point in seeking that answer if you're not going to buy it? And... wanting to understand him is one thing, wanting what you want is another.

Is it more important to you to understand him and then go with that flow, or to try and get a compromise with communication that will help you feel a little more comfortable? From what you say he was never a "let's keep in touch everyday" sort of person anyway, so if you have greater communication needs you are going to have to ask for it and discuss it.

Honest, clear communication and trust are really the backbone of relationships. And it is all you have to go on in long-distance relationships. You guys don't sound like you're completely hearing the other person right now, or that you have much faith in each other. If he does feel bad that you are wanting to think this potential move through in more depth, I could understand that but one would also hope he had some maturity and compassion to see that there is so much more at stake for you than for him in doing this.
so maybe he is pulling away because of this too; maybe he feels rejected. Granted, it would be difficult to wait on a decision from a person you love who lives hundreds of miles away. It would be really hard to say goodbye and not know if they are going to return.
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