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How Often Do you Talk to your SO?

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I know this is different if you are married, but how often do you talk to your SO when you are dating? I know this is different for everyone, but I am curious. Some people think that a certain amount of communication is normal, while others think it's clingy.

I'm in a long-distance relationship (I have been for three weeks or so; I met the guy during study abroad) and it has been really tough. I feel like I've turned into the person that initiates everything: Skype calls, Facebook messages, etc. In the week and half, we briefly chatted on Skype. We've sent Facebook messages back and forth almost every day, but most of them are something like, "Hey babe; I am going to bed. Love you. Night". He used to send me Facebook messages during the day just asking me how my day was. I miss that and I don't know why he doesn't do that anymore. I feel like there is no conversation anymore. It would be different if I saw this guy in person, but we are living hundreds of miles apart! I feel like we need to have bonding time, even though it is through the internet.

Let me be clear, I know that my boyfriend has a life outside of me. And he should! He has been busy with projects, school, and work. I have been super busy as well! But I really try to make time in my schedule to talk to him. Before, I looked forward to talking to him at the end of the day but that has pretty much ceased. I want to know that he is making an effort, but I feel like he isn't. I see him share pictures on Facebook but he won't ask me how my day was or say 'Hi'. If he has the time to check his phone, doesn't he have the time to take two seconds to send me a message? I really feel like I'm not asking that much. I think the thing that worries me is that if you have a SO, you should want to talk to them, right?

Also, we were talking about living together in June (if I go back to his country) but I really don't feel ready. That was another reason why I wanted to talk to him more, to see if our relationship could grow while we were apart. But he seems to have this attitude of "Well, enjoy your friends and everything there while you can, don't always be connected on the computer...have your own life and we'll see each other soon enough. We'll talk when we can." But moving in together is a huge step and I feel like he hasn't though it through. I feel like he's not ready even though he says that he is. I mean, we hardly communicate now....so how could you be ready to be around a person that much and actually live with them?! For him it is easy to say that, because he wanted to move anyway. I am just a puzzle piece that fits nicely into his already-made puzzle. I feel like I am already playing by his rules. But moving for me is a huge deal -yes, there are personal reasons that are motivators- but I don't know if he really takes my situations, feelings, thoughts, etc. into consideration.

Basically, I feel like I am putting way much more into this relationship than he is. I don't know if I am being clingy or reasonable. I am really thinking about calling it quits because I just feel like my needs aren't getting met in this relationship. But the thing is, when we are on Skype or when we are in person, things are nice. Does anyone have advice on what to do?
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It sounds like you are going through an adjustment phase.


I am also in a long distance relationship, and we usually talk a few times a week, in a good week we might talk almost every day, and in a bad week we struggle to find time together. Timezones and differing schedules suck.

I think the next time you two get on skype together you need to discuss more how you are going to go forward while this relationship is in the long distance phase. Things like how often you are going to talk, what you will do when you can't talk, what kind of contact you both expect via facebook, email etc. until you both have an idea. He might find it harder to express himself via text.
Woops, I should have clarified. We have been dated around five months, but it has only been long distance for three weeks!

Thank you both for your advice. I don't know if I should give him the silent treatment until he talks to me. He is being really emotionally unavailable. We talked for thirty minutes on Skype on Sunday, and we tried to last Wed (but the connection was really bad). All the other communication, although daily, has consisted of him saying maybe 1-2 sentences per on Facebook. Many times he won't tell me anything during the day, but he tell me that he loves me and that he is going to bed.

I actually am interested in the prospect of teaching English in his country. But I agree...it's way too soon to even think about moving in! Especially with someone so emotionally unresponsive.
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