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i give a lot, but i think that's cultural more then a type/temp.

even when it came to non relationship physical affection, in israel man hug and kiss each other on the cheek, so the last couple of years in canada where a bit of a cultural shock for me.. where the only romantic gestures accepted for couples in public are those of kindergarden and men think your gay if you hug them with a clap on the back.
 
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i give a lot, but i think that's cultural more then a type/temp.

even when it came to non relationship physical affection, in israel man hug and kiss each other on the cheek, so the last couple of years in canada where a bit of a cultural shock for me.. where the only romantic gestures accepted for couples in public are those of kindergarden and men think your gay if you hug them with a clap on the back.
I'm from another middle eastern culture, and I agree with this. It's also funny how some ENTP can traits overlap with broader cultural traits. Especially hot-blooded cultures like ours.

But yea, I'm pretty touchy-feel in general because of the cultural aspect. And when in a relationship I'm touchy-feely with my girl but within taste. I can still compose myself.
 

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Im not much of a hug person usually if im hugging you i like you/your "hug bumpers" :laughing:

or im being hug attacked :confused:

as for kissing and cuddling i will give plenty if im dating the person
 

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completely offtopic but:
My ENTP husband
another INFJ-female & ENTP-male Y-gen couple from the same area? we lived in london, had family in kitchener right by you. if i ever get my xwife back, we should totally double date! i promise to not hug-back-clap your husband.

back to topic:
My ENTP husband either acts like I'm accosting him when I'm touching him for any reason...or touches and hugs and kisses and massages in expectation of sex.
wait he touches and hugs and kisses and massages in expectation of sex or you do?
 
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--- @traceur - Crap! What happened? Stupid phone! Anyway! LOL. He's the one that has to work for it. Sadly, sometimes it takes a lot to get me in the mood. If I want sex...I take his pants off.
 

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Im not much of a hug person usually if im hugging you i like you/your "hug bumpers" :laughing:

or im being hug attacked :confused:

as for kissing and cuddling i will give plenty if im dating the person
"hug bumpers"? Does that mean what I think it means? lol

I guess in general I'm not a very touchy-feely person. I don't welcome hugs from strangers very well (this happens surprisingly often), but I'm cool with my friends hugging me.

Don't tell anyone, but sometimes as a means of flirting I won't allow a guy to hug me XD
 

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It depends on the person, really. I generally freak out when people so much as grasp my shoulder, especially mere acquaintances--and being a theatre person, this has its obvious drawbacks.

Even in relationships, I'm usually quite reserved. But I've been dating this INTJ girl for the past month or so, and for the past couple weeks it's kinda been...well, any time we get a room to ourselves...yeah. NOT LIKE THAT but yeah.
 

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With my bf we're in constant physical contact through the day - holding hands, touching his hair, poking/shoving each other playfully etc, but we don't make out in public. I'm pretty touchy with closer guy friends too; I like leaning on them or rough-housing, or adjusting their clothing and it's not usually awkward because they're friends with/have met my bf and know I'm not some sort of whore. I don't touch girls too much though, for the same reason respectful guys don't touch girls too freely. Even if the girl might not mind it, it makes me feel kinda creepy to be touching a girl too much.

Alternately I would BRISTLE at the slightest touch from someone that I'm not friends with. I don't hug my parents, I don't even like brushing their fingers when they're handing me objects. A coworker tried to hug me once and I flinched so hard he thought I was going to punch him out of reflex.
 

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"hug bumpers"? Does that mean what I think it means? lol

I guess in general I'm not a very touchy-feely person. I don't welcome hugs from strangers very well (this happens surprisingly often), but I'm cool with my friends hugging me.

Don't tell anyone, but sometimes as a means of flirting I won't allow a guy to hug me XD

Yes i believe so
(i peeked at your page and youre a hooters waitress? :cool: )
great minds think alike :kitteh:
 

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Sadly, sometimes it takes a lot to get me in the mood. If I want sex...I take his pants off.
ok this might be a dart in the dark, but i think your husband might be doing it wrong. again i am not sure how much of this is common to INFJs and how much of it was just my xwife, but if it is an INFJ thing, but with her the only times she had a hard time getting into the mood was when she couldn't let go of the stresses that where bugging her. the only thing that worked was sweattalking her, sometimes solving the problems which would impress her and sometimes reasuring her that they aren't as big of a deal and making her laugh about them. i think ENTPs in general would be good at that sort of thing.

but what i am pretty sure can be generalized for INFJs -living in the world of meanings and all - is that the meaning your getting when he massages/hugs/kisses you can be sumed up with an habitual "i wants sex please please please"... while the meaning he probably needs to convey in your mind is "i am an awesome man and you'r the luckiest woman on earth to have me around, now listen to your body's will to have my babies before another woman catches me (and we'll pretend your not taking conterception)"

again, just a shot in the dark, but if it helps, thumbs up, and if it doesn't, then my theory doesn't work and the only reason she wanted to have sex with was because of how handsome she thought i was... which i'd believe, when we broke up she even used it as a backhanded compliment to devalue falling inlove with me.
 
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ok this might be a dart in the dark, but i think your husband might be doing it wrong. again i am not sure how much of this is common to INFJs and how much of it was just my xwife, but if it is an INFJ thing, but with her the only times she had a hard time getting into the mood was when she couldn't let go of the stresses that where bugging her. the only thing that worked was sweattalking her, sometimes solving the problems which would impress her and sometimes reasuring her that they aren't as big of a deal and making her laugh about them. i think ENTPs in general would be good at that sort of thing.

but what i am pretty sure can be generalized for INFJs -living in the world of meanings and all - is that the meaning your getting when he massages/hugs/kisses you can be sumed up with an habitual "i wants sex please please please"... while the meaning he probably needs to convey in your mind is "i am an awesome man and you'r the luckiest woman on earth to have me around, now listen to your body's will to have my babies before another woman catches me (and we'll pretend your not taking conterception)"

again, just a shot in the dark, but if it helps, thumbs up, and if it doesn't, then my theory doesn't work and the only reason she wanted to have sex with was because of how handsome she thought i was... which i'd believe, when we broke up she even used it as a backhanded compliment to devalue falling inlove with me.
You're 100 percent correct. It's very hard for me to be in the mood if: The house is a mess, I'm in the middle of completing a task, I'm stressed about money, I feel belittled, or I feel disconnected from my husband bc he refuses to ever actually communicate (lol). I'm sure there are other reasons, but the point is, you're right. And my impression of his physical signs of affection is what you said too. Almost the only time he'll do those things is when he expects sex in return, so it feels insincere and it feels like pressure. Often, I'll give in, but then I start talking...which makes him feel awful and turns him off (understandably). He just doesn't realize how much I need him to listen to me talk - without interjecting insults and cutting me off or looking completely exasperated at how "stupid, boring and slow" I am.... Sorry if I'm derailing the thread. I'll shut up now. :)
 

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You're 100 percent correct. It's very hard for me to be in the mood if: The house is a mess, I'm in the middle of completing a task, I'm stressed about money, I feel belittled, or I feel disconnected from my husband bc he refuses to ever actually communicate (lol). I'm sure there are other reasons, but the point is, you're right. And my impression of his physical signs of affection is what you said too. Almost the only time he'll do those things is when he expects sex in return, so it feels insincere and it feels like pressure. Often, I'll give in, but then I start talking...which makes him feel awful and turns him off (understandably). He just doesn't realize how much I need him to listen to me talk - without interjecting insults and cutting me off or looking completely exasperated at how "stupid, boring and slow" I am.... Sorry if I'm derailing the thread. I'll shut up now. :)
ok, so for the disclaimer this is just a thought that shouldn't be taken without half the grains of salt in the pacific, i know only one ENTP (me) and had exactly one meaningful deep relationship (my xwife). also don't take this the wrong way or think of it in the terminology of blame games (just because i'm suggesting there's something you could do to fix the problems doesn't mean they are your fault),

..but if he's a stereotypical ENTP, then you might consider, it sounds like has reached a very presuamptious state regarding you and what he expects from you (positive or negetive.. ireleavent for this matter). he might be bored because he already thinks he knows what's coming out of your mouth before you open it.

surprising him. and i don't mean in the sense of surprise gifts or gestures for him, but try to break out of behaviors he expects from you.within his brain, there's a mold with your name of it, and while he can still very much be inlove with it's content, that doesn't change the 'fact' (from his perspective) that the project of getting to know you is done as far as he see's. and with ENTPs that sort of gets worst, because any predictable line of growth is still within the mold. expose him to iregularities, find aspects of yourself he doesn't know, or if you can't - grow them where he doesn't see before you start.
break the mental mold he has of you, give him something about you that he needs to rethink, something that holds new possibilities he never considered, and make sure he gets poked by it enough to notice.

he'd be a lot more likely to be interested in what you have to communicate (gestures/actions/speech/etc) when he doesn't think he know what's coming. as far as what you feel you still need to communicate regardless, use whatever aspects of you your surprising him with to reframe it.



also, something something affection something something hugs. now we're good.
 
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@traceur: To be fair to the ENTPs here, our relationship difficulties are less about personality differences and more about other issues (such as mental illness and childhood trauma). That's not to say our personality differences don't contribute. But my time on this site interacting with the ENTPs here has helped me to understand that we're dealing with something more...And, in the year since I found this site, our relationship has improved.

To be fair to *me* (hahahaha!) I'm very physically and verbally affectionate. I have been a contortionist mentally, emotionally - and even physically at times! lol - trying to keep him interested. I have recreated myself several times in the 10+ years since we got together...It's not enough. And he's the only person in my "circle" who finds me boring. He may *think* he's got me figured out, but he knows me less than most of my friends do. He just isn't interested. But he doesn't want me to leave.

That being said, I do tend to be a depressive person. And he's a type 7, so that's tough for him.

Very sorry to the OP. If I have more off-topic things to say, I'll take them to traceur's thread. :)
 
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