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My ENTP and I broke up recently after being together for over a year. I regret not learning the lessons I learned from him sooner. I now have made him think he'll never be good enough for me and that our relationship can't work just because I never knew how to express the issues I was having in a healthy way. (and vice versa, if I think about it). If any of you are familiar with ENTP's, you know that once they think they've figured something out logically, they don't change their minds. But I've always said "Love has reasons that reason cannot understand." To try and figure out something involved with love by using logic is an enigma to me. Like the Buddhist teaching, "To try and figure out reality by using your mind, you will understand neither reality nor your mind." But it doesn't change the reality of the situation. The things I realized too late I know would've saved the relationship. He seems to be very emotionally immature and I was fairly immature in many other ways. However, I came to understand a lot of things about him and I realized a lot of my faults and the reason it didn't work before is because I was refusing to ackonowledge and improve these things. Now that I've done some reflecting, growing, and deep contemplating, I know this is something I'll regret more than anything. I can't handle the thought of letting this happen again with another ENTP I should come across. But as of late, I've been really depressed and pessimistic about whether I'll ever get involved with another ENTP that had such a similar value system/beliefs/interests as me. I know this is typical in any break up, you start to doubt the ability of anyone being able to make you happy other than that one person.

But the truth is, I've never been happier in my life. And the aim of this thread I guess is to hear experiences with you other INFJ's. What kind of ENTP's have been in your life? How'd they come? How'd they go? and why?

I don't really have friends either. I moved here after my mom passed away four years ago. Because of that, my sister and I were separated. I've never built close connections here, so my circle of friends is nonexistent, to say the least. He was the only good thing I had going for me. I depended on him a lot because of these "loneliness" issues, and I've inadvertantly pushed him so far away I'm afraid he's never coming back. I know it's good to give ENTP's space after something like this, but when there's no one to distract me, listen to me, or sympathize, this world becomes such a hopeless place.

Any words of advice or wisdom would be appreciated more than any of you probably know.
Thank you, those of you that have read this far. Even if you're not an INFJ, please feel free to share any stories or experiences you've had with ENTP's. I just need to know that they're out there.
:[
 

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Well according to surveys, they comprise about 4.5% of the population total... 6% of the male and 3% of the female population total individually.

I have only met 2 for sure other than myself in my life, although quite a few possibles. Checking where lawyers and engineers hang out would be your best bet though we are into a lot of occupations.

Instead of focusing on just looking for ENTPs because that was your ex's type, go out and genuinely open yourself to ALL possibilities of people. It is very likely that even if you do find another ENTP and he is into you/in love/ blah blah ect. it will not be the same as the one you are idealizing. Everyone is different and even within personality types, stereotyping behavior lowers the humanity of people, and lowers the mutual benefit of the relationship which is why you are there in the first place. Imagine you getting frustrated because he didn't react like you expected from past experience and equated to an ENTP thing expecting all ENTPs to react the same way, causing an argument that could lead to the the a repeating of the events that caused you to lose what you wanted.

That is why you drop the past and focus on the present. Let people be themselves and let yourself appreciate the randomness of a good relationship. You might end up appreciating an aspect from another personality you never expected to be able to live with.

Go in with expectations, come out with disappointments
 

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I wouldn't know. In all honesty, I've met more INTP's than I have any other type in real life.
 
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I'm sorry bout all that you had to go through, it sounds all really emotionally draining, really.
 
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Hm.
Did you know you'd posted this in the ENTP, not the INFJ forum?

Now there is more information....you lost your mother at a young age: how much of this is the relationship you have just left, and how much is issues with loss, of any kind? I can relate to this, I was rubbish with relationships for a few years after I lost my father.

I do think you are exaggerating the relationship, before you said you got together last September, now you are saying it was over a year. Are you trying to make it more than it was? Be objective and honest with yourself.
 

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I'm sorry to say that I've only ever met one other ENTP and one possible ENTP. Just because we're all the same type though doesn't mean that we'll all be the same. For example, I know an INTJ and ISTJ who are more similar to me than that ENTP I know.
 

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i only know one, and i liked him for numerous reasons that really all mean the same thing. it made me wonder about the rarity of ENTPs, too. this isn't exactly a good thing, as it gives way to idealization and mythologizing which only leads to illusive infatuation and ultimately disappointment. you can easily miss out on other people that way, ack!

anyway, as it's been stated, you'll find that people of any "type" can be just like others of different types. e.g., i know an imaginative, easygoing ESTJ who values but does not care much for tradition. ^__~
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I thought I said we started dating February 2nd of 2009?
I'd say it's safely been a year.

And I did post it in the INFJ forum first.
I don't know how, but it was "moved" to ENTP.

And I may have issues with loss.
But there was something different about this guy from the beginning.
I've loved before, but never like this.
 

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ENTP's funnily enough seem to be almost as rare as INFJ's as far as I'm concerned. They aren't hiding in the closet either. A famous one I know is Tom Hanks but that's about it.
 

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I know a few ENTPs, but even among us, there is a lot of variation. One ENTP will be completely different from the other. Of course, I am in engineering, so it's NT paradise.

Apparently you wrote something emotional, gathering from chronic liar's post. I didn't read it. It was too long for me to pay attention.
 

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:)

ENTP's funnily enough seem to be almost as rare as INFJ's as far as I'm concerned. They aren't hiding in the closet either. A famous one I know is Tom Hanks but that's about it.
Hiding in the closet literally. I work in an a former closet now an office. LOL. Uncanny it is.

I think you'll find someone just as great :)

And the circle of friends thing..no worries , I bet more of us than you would think are working on that as we speak .

chin up :)
 

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I can see how an INFJ could end up in a situation recently broken up and having no friends. We typically have such a close circle of friends/family and then when we lose the few that we are mostly focused on, we are lost. I feel like its a mix of our dominant introversion mixed with Fe. Personally, I've gotten now to the age where I am consciously reminding myself to stay in contact and make time for people regardless of who comes in my life, which is really the smartest thing to do to prevent the possible bad situation of being lonely.

My best advice for you right now is to focus on your own personal growth -- meet new people, make friends (of ANY personality type), get involved in local organizations/activities, become closer with other family members, etc. When you get your life straightened out then you will find the guy that is right for you. Focus on preparing yourself to be with "the one", not necessarily finding "the one".
 
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I met only 2 ENTP's . where you can find us? hmmm... Where is kind a funny place or something ( i like nature and some chill places too... a lot actually don't know about the rest but thats me ) hope it helps a little
 

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Well... I have only met two or three really "stereotypical" ENTPs in my life. I would be fourth. Not that I am as flimsy as the stereotype though. But people who read the ENTP description laugh at how well it fits me in most aspects.

I have always thought that 4,5 % surely cannot be correct. But of course there are lots of persons who orbit the middle ground and dont have the typical traits, but perhaps fit the ENTP description better than others.

I have read in other stats that NT population TOTALS 3%. I would think that seems more correct from my life experience. NFs seem rarer too.... But I meet more NFs than NTs I think. And meeting "ingenious" ENTPs? Just two times. One or two I have befriended. One was a woman whom I tried to..befriend.. ahem. With slightly strange results. She was smart but not ingenious and such. She had more of the flimsiness and other somewhat negative sides of the stereotype. I guessed ENTP after a while ( and she worked with MBTI indirectly so I got to know that I was correct later). But she wasnt the classical ENTP you would expect. So many just have some of the traits. I guess we are "persons" instead of just "letters" then...

All in all we ENTPs seem far more rare than the statistics say. Most people seem to be SJ followed by SP. You can immediately tell when you met Ns since you get along so well. A mutual thing I think.
 

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Well... I have only met two or three really "stereotypical" ENTPs in my life. I would be fourth. Not that I am as flimsy as the stereotype though. But people who read the ENTP description laugh at how well it fits me in most aspects.

I have always thought that 4,5 % surely cannot be correct. But of course there are lots of persons who orbit the middle ground and dont have the typical traits, but perhaps fit the ENTP description better than others.

I have read in other stats that NT population TOTALS 3%. I would think that seems more correct from my life experience. NFs seem rarer too.... But I meet more NFs than NTs I think. And meeting "ingenious" ENTPs? Just two times. One or two I have befriended. One was a woman whom I tried to..befriend.. ahem. With slightly strange results. She was smart but not ingenious and such. She had more of the flimsiness and other somewhat negative sides of the stereotype. I guessed ENTP after a while ( and she worked with MBTI indirectly so I got to know that I was correct later). But she wasnt the classical ENTP you would expect. So many just have some of the traits. I guess we are "persons" instead of just "letters" then...

All in all we ENTPs seem far more rare than the statistics say. Most people seem to be SJ followed by SP. You can immediately tell when you met Ns since you get along so well. A mutual thing I think.
It's amazing how easily we get along with intuitives in general. Even if we don't agree on everything, we speak the same language and thus conversations and interactions tend to be fluid rather than abrasive and jarring, which is what results in SJ and SP interactions.
 

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It's amazing how easily we get along with intuitives in general. Even if we don't agree on everything, we speak the same language and thus conversations and interactions tend to be fluid rather than abrasive and jarring, which is what results in SJ and SP interactions.
This is ever so true I've come to realize.
 

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I mostly skimmed through the front post since it was so long, but I could gather as much that you've been through a painful break-up. My only advice is that you should get out and know new people, like several other people have already stated in the thread, and that you shouldn't just look for ENTPs because your ex was one. As previously mentioned, we're really varied, so just because you find one of us, doesn't mean that that person is going to be like your ex.

As for how rare ENTPs are... I've no statistics (and ENTPreneur just posted them anyhow, so..), but I know two ENTPs irl. My sister's best friend and my own best friend. And although I'm really alike my sister's best friend, me and my best friend are really different. We used to be like twins back in junior high, though.


Magnificent Bastard said:
It's amazing how easily we get along with intuitives in general. Even if we don't agree on everything, we speak the same language and thus conversations and interactions tend to be fluid rather than abrasive and jarring, which is what results in SJ and SP interactions.
Nah, SPs work pretty fine for me. As long as they've high Se and you don't start debating with them, they're almost as crazy as intuitives... at least from my own experience. I would've pegged both my best friends (ISFP and ESTJ respectively) as well as my ESFP sister as Ns if I hadn't known their types.
 

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Well... I have only met two or three really "stereotypical" ENTPs in my life. I would be fourth. Not that I am as flimsy as the stereotype though. But people who read the ENTP description laugh at how well it fits me in most aspects.

I have always thought that 4,5 % surely cannot be correct. But of course there are lots of persons who orbit the middle ground and dont have the typical traits, but perhaps fit the ENTP description better than others.

I have read in other stats that NT population TOTALS 3%. I would think that seems more correct from my life experience. NFs seem rarer too.... But I meet more NFs than NTs I think. And meeting "ingenious" ENTPs? Just two times. One or two I have befriended. One was a woman whom I tried to..befriend.. ahem. With slightly strange results. She was smart but not ingenious and such. She had more of the flimsiness and other somewhat negative sides of the stereotype. I guessed ENTP after a while ( and she worked with MBTI indirectly so I got to know that I was correct later). But she wasnt the classical ENTP you would expect. So many just have some of the traits. I guess we are "persons" instead of just "letters" then...

All in all we ENTPs seem far more rare than the statistics say. Most people seem to be SJ followed by SP. You can immediately tell when you met Ns since you get along so well. A mutual thing I think.
I definitely wouldn't argue with the low 3% NT statistic. In fact, I meet FAR more NFs than NTs. And yep, it's usually pretty obvious when you meet another. That's when you end up meeting someone at a party and literally end up talking until dawn, still energized, only realizing that "you're supposed" to leave and go to bed. I don't click the same way with NFs.

Amusingly enough, the NTs I meet are always dismissed as "loony tunes" by the SJs we know.
 

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My family is full of NTs, so I knew what they were about. But I was puzzled why there weren't any outside my family. It made me think we were very odd.

I met many NTs in college. Engineering was a big lure. It was great to meet people like me for once.

I was hired by an NT manager. He hired several NTs to work for him (not suprising), so there were many of use around.

Even in all of that, I don't think I really have met any other ENTPs other than my father. I met many INTPs and INTJs and a few ENTJs. I really like INTPs, but never anyone exactly like me.

I can only think of one NF I have ever met. I'm not living in a cave either.
 
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