Personality Cafe banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
705 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Making cliché threads is apparently something I'm very good at.

I come to you with a very cliché question... I'm a little ashamed to ask since it's such a classic story, but any input is appreciated.

I was heavily infatuated for multiple months, and the interest seemed to be mutual. Sadly, thanks to anxiety issues I never got around to simply telling the girl I thought she was a nice and pretty person. (I really don't get how I could've made such a big deal out of it. Infatuation does some weird shit to you...)

Now obviously she moved on, thought I was a boring insecure fuckhead, which is fair I suppose. I felt like shit for 2 months though, because she'd constantly ignore my very existence, and that really hurts an infatuated person. It's good that she stopped leading me on though. Because before ignoring me she'd give me mixed signals for ages.

I'm over it now though, and I loathe awkward situations, so I want to just get things straight and talk normally with her again. Because when I bump into her (which is quite often), and I greet her or whatever, she gives me a really cold look, says "hi" and quickly shuffles away. Which makes me feel like I'm some sort of terrible person who's done something very wrong. It just seems unfair, really. I can't help it that I thought she was a cute girl... I do regret being so slow and making her a freakin' mixtape... (So ashamed of that, so deeply, deeply ashamed. I can't explain the amount of regret I feel about that shit.) But damn. I'd like to just say "Hey, how's it going?" to someone without having a shitty atmosphere all around. I don't even want to be friends anymore, but just acting normally around each other doesn't seem like too much to ask. Since we have mostly the same friends, we're going to see each other quite a lot, and it sucks to constantly have an awkward atmosphere around.

The whole thing makes me feel really dorky. It was the first time in my life I ever had a real crush on someone and obviously I had no idea how to deal with it. I'd like to just deny that I went through this phase...

Aight, thanks for reading this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,429 Posts
Since when has there been such a thing as acting normal? There is no reason for you to care, for a woman like that is not worth chasing.

Stop caring, and the wanted behavior you call "normal" will ensue, at least temporarily. Then after she realized that you genuinely don't care, she may.

It's a game of sorts, but don't play it, and you're already winning.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
But did anything happened between the two of you? Did you have sex or something? Sorry to be asking.
I don't mean to analyze stuff too much, but sometimes when someone is acting in a weird way, like I think she does, it may be something else behind it. Maybe she likes you...? Maybe there're some misunderstandings?

I think I need more information!!! :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
705 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Since when has there been such a thing as acting normal? There is no reason for you to care, for a woman like that is not worth chasing.

Stop caring, and the wanted behavior you call "normal" will ensue, at least temporarily. Then after she realized that you genuinely don't care, she may.

It's a game of sorts, but don't play it, and you're already winning.
It's only awkward if you care about the awkwardness.

Instead, embrace it and enjoy it. Things become quite predictable if tension is involved, thus offering a nice stage for some entertainment.
I played the "game", I didn't really care. I laughed it off and thought to myself "Woah, this girl really knows how to blow stuff out of proportions, this is hilarious." and everytime she gave me that "look" and walked away, I found it kind of funny.

But now it's just annoying. Like I said, we have a lot of mutual friends, and it's really strange to talk to everybody in a group but to have to avoid one single person who constantly ignores your existence.

But did anything happened between the two of you? Did you have sex or something? Sorry to be asking.
I don't mean to analyze stuff too much, but sometimes when someone is acting in a weird way, like I think she does, it may be something else behind it. Maybe she likes you...? Maybe there're some misunderstandings?

I think I need more information!!! :)
Haha no, nothing really dramatic happened. That's why it's so weird. I'm pretty sure she used to like me back, but I waited for too long, and she led me on after that for a while, until deciding she'd just ignore me for some reason. This isn't the first time she suddenly made me feel like I did something extremely bad while I didn't. She did it too back when she'd be all flirty around me, I suppose in some weird attempt to seem "hard to get". She's just really annoying socially, which is also why I've chosen to move on because this girl is impossible to deal with. Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks this either, a lot of other people had to find out the hard way as well. Nobody knows her well. She doesn't open up to anybody. I tried for a long time to somewhat get to know her but it was impossible. Yet a lot of people seem to gravitate around her because at first she seems to exude a certain positive, friendly atmosphere.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
I played the "game", I didn't really care. I laughed it off and thought to myself "Woah, this girl really knows how to blow stuff out of proportions, this is hilarious." and everytime she gave me that "look" and walked away, I found it kind of funny.

But now it's just annoying. Like I said, we have a lot of mutual friends, and it's really strange to talk to everybody in a group but to have to avoid one single person who constantly ignores your existence.


Haha no, nothing really dramatic happened. That's why it's so weird. I'm pretty sure she used to like me back, but I waited for too long, and she led me on after that for a while, until deciding she'd just ignore me for some reason. This isn't the first time she suddenly made me feel like I did something extremely bad while I didn't. She did it too back when she'd be all flirty around me, I suppose in some weird attempt to seem "hard to get". She's just really annoying socially, which is also why I've chosen to move on because this girl is impossible to deal with. Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks this either, a lot of other people had to find out the hard way as well. Nobody knows her well. She doesn't open up to anybody. I tried for a long time to somewhat get to know her but it was impossible. Yet a lot of people seem to gravitate around her because at first she seems to exude a certain positive, friendly atmosphere.
Hm ok, so she seems difficult... But I think sometimes I can act weird too, especially if I get strong feelings for someone. Then I can try not to show them, and maybe then acting cold, without really being cold.
Would it be too weird for you to just simply ask her?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
705 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Hm ok, so she seems difficult... But I think sometimes I can act weird too, especially if I get strong feelings for someone. Then I can try not to show them, and maybe then acting cold, without really being cold.
Would it be too weird for you to just simply ask her?
Yeah, she's ridiculously enigmatic. Which kind of attracts me because I'm really eager to get to know people well, but I don't think it'd work this way. Which still brings me down sometimes, because I can remember the times when she hugged me and when we'd make art together and such. Bleh.

It's pretty weird to ask her about it because she'd probably deny it, because she seems to want to be seen as happy and friendly to everybody. I've asked her before if there was something wrong, and usually she either says she's just really tangled up in some problem, or that there was something weird about the way I talked to her. Which is something I've never heard anybody say before to me. I think she meant my sarcasm or something? Apparently I really have to watch out with being sarcastic around her because she doesn't understand it for most of the time. Which is unhandy because I'm sarcastic/absurdistic for 75% of the time.

People can be really confusing and I wish they wouldn't act so freakin' mysterious all the time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
Yeah, she's ridiculously enigmatic. Which kind of attracts me because I'm really eager to get to know people well, but I don't think it'd work this way. Which still brings me down sometimes, because I can remember the times when she hugged me and when we'd make art together and such. Bleh.

It's pretty weird to ask her about it because she'd probably deny it, because she seems to want to be seen as happy and friendly to everybody. I've asked her before if there was something wrong, and usually she either says she's just really tangled up in some problem, or that there was something weird about the way I talked to her. Which is something I've never heard anybody say before to me. I think she meant my sarcasm or something? Apparently I really have to watch out with being sarcastic around her because she doesn't understand it for most of the time. Which is unhandy because I'm sarcastic/absurdistic for 75% of the time.

People can be really confusing and I wish they wouldn't act so freakin' mysterious all the time.
Poor you. I just have to say anyway, that making her that mixed tape and all was really sweet and you shouldn't be ashamed!!!
I like sarcasm generally, but sometimes it can be hurtful if you're not sure the person really likes you and they say something sarcastic... then you'll be like "haha....or did he really mean that?"

Ahhh love can be so difficult... and sometimes it really sucks! Hopefully if a little more time passes she'll start to act more "normal" again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,191 Posts
This is one of those growing up things. It'll get better, but it's going to be awkward, and until you've screwed up a few times, you really don't develop a resistance to it. Heck, i can still have the occasional discomforting memories of my previous crushes.

I'd avoid the girl simply to make it easier on her (as she's almost certainly feeling some counterpart to what you're having). The quicker you can move on to a new crush, the better. Hopefully, one that turns into a girlfriend because you've learned some stuff from this situation.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
705 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
This is one of those growing up things. It'll get better, but it's going to be awkward, and until you've screwed up a few times, you really don't develop a resistance to it. Heck, i can still have the occasional discomforting memories of my previous crushes.

I'd avoid the girl simply to make it easier on her (as she's almost certainly feeling some counterpart to what you're having). The quicker you can move on to a new crush, the better. Hopefully, one that turns into a girlfriend because you've learned some stuff from this situation.
Ah well, I kinda figured that. I suppose there's no real solution to it but to just let it be.

I don't have a real new crush yet, not nearly as bad as the one I had before, but there are a few girls who I consider pretty, so I'll probably see how that goes. Life is best to be seen as some sort of sandbox game/experiment, is what I have to conclude time after time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
158 Posts
Used to have the same issue around someone I liked...However I just want to let you know that there is no such thing as 'normal', being normal is being your true self and the weird atmosphere will only stay if you keep thinking about it.Try to spend some quality time with yourself and dont be too hard on yourself,heres a quote that I love by Bob Marley;“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” And I would say that girl doesnt seem to be worth your sufferering :)
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top