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Discussion Starter #1
So it's a weird situation and I'm probably over thinking it, but I want to know what actual ENTJs think. I'm an INTP female and in my high school class there is this one guy. I asked him once for help with something through messenger and after that, I asked him to take the test because he seemed very unusual and interesting to me (I didn't say it this way, but that was why I wanted him to take it). So, he scored as an ENTJ and when I asked him if the description fits he said it kinda' fits, but as all things like that it's not entirely accurate. I observed him and I think it's possible that it was correct. So after all that he approached me a few times with very little things, but I'm very awkward so I didn't exactly know how to respond and I could have ruined it a little bit. It were things like saying 'hello' (he didn't talk to me at all before) or once I had trouble with some crossword we did in class and he randomly told me what I should write in it (I totally ruined this one and was super worried I hurt him). Then, I sent him a long text and a link to some page about ENTJs and I thought I scared him off because he didn't respond, but after some time we were retaking one math test that didn't go well for us and after that, we talked while going back from school and he was really nice. And then he approached me again another day with some small thing.

I can be over thinking this way too much, but I think he likes me (I don't know in what way). I think we could be good friends (or something more) but I'm very shy, awkward and I never had a male friend (or boyfriend) and guys never approach me so I just don't know what to do.

What I want to know is how to approach him? What could he like to talk about? Can I ask him questions about opinions and interests? Are you ok with talking through massages or do you prefer talking face-to-face? Is there any chance it could work with how awkward and shy I am? Am I obsessing over this too much (I probably am)?

Thank you for all the responses and hearing me out. If you have any problem or things you want to point out I'm open to all sugestions and opinions.
 

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Discussion Starter #2 (Edited)
There's one thing I'd like to add. While messaging his answers were very short, but idk how to say it... good? Like sometimes his responses were kind of charming because they looked very thought out and humorous, but he responded fast so it was rather natural to him. He used a lot of emojis. Face-to-face he made a lot of eye contact, was calm and smiled. He was really nice and just like with massages his responses seemed thought out, but natural to him.
 

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There's one thing I'd like to add. While messaging his answers were very short, but idk how to say it... good? Like sometimes his responses were kind of charming because they looked very thought out and humorous, but he responded fast so it was rather natural to him. He used a lot of emojis. Face-to-face he made a lot of eye contact, was calm and smiled. He was really nice and just like with massages his responses seemed thought out, but natural to him.

You are just another teenager and the first thing that I would like to point out is that you are just normal. Not awkward, keep this in mind.
And I think you lost your confidence at "I wrote him a long text" don't worry about this, what I know from a guy's perspective is that he now at least has an idea of how you feel about him. That's the reasons he didn't reply, maybe he was thinking things. Just don't overdo stuff okay. Start with something casual. But don't do small talks alot.
All the best.. XD
 

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Waaaaaaaay overthinking this. Everything you wrote is about him and his reactions.

BE YOURSELF.

Now, please read that line again.

And once more for good measure.

If you want to ask him a question, ask him a question. If you want to make an observation, do so. Care less about what he thinks, since you can make yourself crazy worrying about that and still not know. Consider what YOU want and what YOU think. He'll either come along for the ride or not, but you aren't going to force that to happen either way anyway.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss
 

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Waaaaaaaay overthinking this. Everything you wrote is about him and his reactions.

BE YOURSELF.

Now, please read that line again.

And once more for good measure.

If you want to ask him a question, ask him a question. If you want to make an observation, do so. Care less about what he thinks, since you can make yourself crazy worrying about that and still not know. Consider what YOU want and what YOU think. He'll either come along for the ride or not, but you aren't going to force that to happen either way anyway.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss
This. 100% this. I wasted way too much time when I was younger worrying what people would think. Be yourself and you will find yourself surrounded by people who like you. It really is that easy.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Waaaaaaaay overthinking this. Everything you wrote is about him and his reactions.

BE YOURSELF.

Now, please read that line again.

And once more for good measure.

If you want to ask him a question, ask him a question. If you want to make an observation, do so. Care less about what he thinks, since you can make yourself crazy worrying about that and still not know. Consider what YOU want and what YOU think. He'll either come along for the ride or not, but you aren't going to force that to happen either way anyway.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss
Thank you very much Mr Canis. I've got to say you opened my eyes a little bit and changed my perspective. It's hard for me, but I'll try to just do things, not only think and analyze possibilities. Great and powerful words. Thank you.

And everyone else thank you for your replies as well. I know this is nothing that important, but I needed an outside perspective so that I can stop this over thinking madness.
 

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Thank you very much Mr Canis. I've got to say you opened my eyes a little bit and changed my perspective. It's hard for me, but I'll try to just do things, not only think and analyze possibilities. Great and powerful words. Thank you.
You are welcome.

If you are yourself, comfortable and confident in your own skin, people will find you attractive for who you are. Be as bold or not as you want. Ultimately the only one who needs to approve of your actions is you. You can't make anyone like you, but when you are honest about who you are, it happens anyway. People are attracted to the genuine. I know that right now, it seems like there's a lot to worry about and that the stakes are high, but there's this weird thing that happens when you decide none of that matters... all of a sudden good things start to happen all by themselves.

You got this.
 

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When I was young I treated every prospective date as seriously as a marriage proposal and that put way too much pressure on the whole thing. Remember, all you are doing is getting to know someone. I like to tell stories and if people are interested in what I talk about, they tell stories of their own. Others prefer to ask questions. The key is that if you are yourself up front, you don’t need to keep up an act. Some will like you and some won’t. It stings when they don’t but that’s ok. You learn and move on. And some will like you. That’s wonderful. Sometimes it lasts and sometimes it doesn’t but with each encounter you gain experience which gives you confidence. My now husband of nearly 20 years was meant in my mind to be a practice relationship. lol. He’s ENTJ and I thought he was way too confident and popular for me. So you just never know where life will lead you. Just enjoy the process.
 

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Yes, it's a process as mentioned above. It is kind of an annoying process sometimes. But we grow through this. Become who we are. Sometimes one needs to act courageously. At other times cautiously. In interaction with people at a young age it is usual to feel lost. The confusion can feel annoying at times. The craving to 'just know' feels very intense. But if you look at it from a slightly angled perspective, it would also look like you are growing through all your experiences. I wish I can go back to my younger self and tell him two things - take it easy and do what you want. It really is that simple right now. If you enjoy time with him, he won't be left unaffected by your enjoyment of his company. And if there is a meeting of minds then things happen by themselves. Worrying is not going to make anything happen. If not, you have a long life ahead and plenty of more experiences to come. It doesn't look like you have anything to lose here.
 
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