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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hello all female ENFPs!

I am a male ENFJ, 17 years old and single, and I need your advice. :) I met an ENFP at a high school speech and debate tournament in Alabama around two weeks ago. That's when I met her, and wow. Our eyes met, and I think fireworks lit off in my brain. I have met several amazingly smart girls like her, but she is one-of-a-kind. I have never met anyone like her. I only got to know here for two days, but I can't stop thinking about her. I prayed about this, and I know I'm not crazy. I definitely fell head-over-heels for her. We keep in touch through Skype and texting, and that just accelerates my infatuation. Because she's just so amazing, I'd like to describe her just a little bit.

I don't fall for a girl for her external looks, so I'll skip that part. I'm enamorated by a girl's mind and heart. :) She's incredibly intelligent, unlike most girls I've ever met. We are both philosophy nerds, and I have some really complex ideas that some people don't seem to get. :/ But wow, she gets them in an instant and turns it into another idea I hadn't even pondered. I feel like we can complete and compliment each other in so many areas. That and so many countless things about her just calls for a high intelligence. What's even more beautiful is her heart. She loves younger children. She's incredibly kind, sweet, and sincere. I could go on and on about her; her heart and mind are just incredibly infatuating. All I want to do is just do anything for her; she certainly deserves a great guy to be there for her whenever she's in need. But, here's the catch, she lives in Florida (originally from Georgia), and I live in Texas. So... Hence begs the question:

Ladies, if you are an ENFP, and a young man like myself lives far away and is interested in you, what would you expect from him? What would you like to seem him do for you? As an ENFJ, I know the iNtuitive Feelers have a very high attraction with other iNtuitive Feelers, unlike most others that follow the rule "opposites attract". I have no doubt I would be able to meet the standards that ENFPs hold for young men that are interested in them. But, details would definitely help. :) ENFP ladies, what would you expect from a young man? What do you need from a potential boyfriend/girlfriend, especially if he lives 1000 miles away? Thank you for your feedback. Sorry to start a relationship-oriented thread; I understand some of you may be getting tired of these. But, I thought here would be the best place to ask my question. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Give me her number Ill do it for you. Serious!!
Well, we already keep up with texting and Skype. :) And, we have awesome discussions! We explore ideas in philosophy, politics, etc. We keep things fun, exciting, and interesting, and I think she may be interested in me. The problem is that, since we're 1000 miles apart, how do I keep her interested in me, if she is? If you were an ENFP female, what would keep you interested in a guy 1000 miles away?
 

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Long distance relationships can work with consistent, but random contact. I say random because I like something unexpected.

I have an ENFJ friend who texts me every morning, says the same thing "Good Morning!!!" (Which feels more like a copy and paste text.)

It took me a while to make him understand that when I said "I am not a morning person...don't text me 5 minutes before my alarm goes off" was not just a request.

He thought if he checked it off, like a "To do List" he would earn points. He didn't want "to forget to remember me in the morning"

Think outside of the box... I have an ISTJ friend who sends random gif files that really make me smile.

It sounds like you have a connection...make her feel special.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Long distance relationships can work with consistent, but random contact. I say random because I like something unexpected.

I have an ENFJ friend who texts me every morning, says the same thing "Good Morning!!!" (Which feels more like a copy and paste text.)

It took me a while to make him understand that when I said "I am not a morning person...don't text me 5 minutes before my alarm goes off" was not just a request.

He thought if he checked it off, like a "To do List" he would earn points. He didn't want "to forget to remember me in the morning"

Think outside of the box... I have an ISTJ friend who sends random gif files that really make me smile.

It sounds like you have a connection...make her feel special.
Wow thank you so much! I will definitely keep that in mind. I understand that we ENFJs can often get into this routinue style, so I'll do my best to send her cool texts that are sweet, unexpected, and exciting. Anything other advice you could lend? :D
 

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With ENFPs, out of sight is not necessarily out of mind. Play and possibilities are important.:kitteh:
Communicate with music videos.
Words, words, words -affirmations
Let her know you want to see her and how many ways you can imagine that happening. Eventually though, one or both of you have to travel. There has to be a bigger picture that you are striving towards or it is not fair to either one of you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Yeah, I do make it clear that I wish we could see each other much more often. I'll emphasize how I truly wish we were closer. We do have a National tournament this summer. If we qualify, we'll definitely be able to see each other then. :) Do you think it would be wise to tell her exactly how I feel when we meet again? I don't want to tell her over Skype or text. I want to tell her in person to make her feel special. But, I don't want her to lose interest. How long would you wait for a guy to tell you how he feels about you?
 

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I agree with @dpt727 completely. I like little surprises here and there - emphasis on little. I love random ways of showing affection; routine ends up boring me after a while. I can be so hooked on someone who knows how to show how much they care in creative ways.

Making me feel special is DEFINITELY the way to go. I love, I adore feeling special to someone, like I'm their person.

Making me feel like they want to know about me as much as I want to know about them. I'm a very curious, engaging person who'll probably bombard you with endless questions. Showing genuine interest back is so lovely.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Excellent! So, stay out of routine with her, and be unexpected. Make her feel special; she's the only one I think about (so incredibly true). From what I remember, iNtuitive Feelers always feel most attracted to other iNtuitive Feelers, so I think there's some natural attraction there. :) I'm sure I can definitely fulfill what y'all would want, so I'm hoping this will just fall right into place. :) One last question: would a long-distance relationship like this last? I know I would do anything to make this work at such a long distance away, but the only available next time we can see each other in person will be in the summer. :/ But, would you ENFP ladies still hold on to a relationship active through Skype, as long as I strive my best to make her know she's the only person I think about every day?
 

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Be spontaneous and inconsistent with her - surprise her, and keep her on her toes!

We ENFPs love to talk and talk and talk (as much as listen too, don't get me wrong!) - show interest in conversations, and don't hesitate to ask her about anything and everything! When I was in a long-distance relationship, I loved that my partner would never get tired of my random questions, and would always reply back with even more random questions - I just adored that he was so into conversing with me to the point that we could be talking about absolutely nothing, but still enjoy it! Always talk to her, and show interest in her and the things that she says. Talk about yourself just as much, too - I love listening to other people as well, and I'm sure that she would like to learn more about you!

Make her feel wanted. Don't smother her, but every once in awhile, just take her aback with a compliment. I get so flustered whenever a guy continues to call me beautiful, and I appreciate it more than they would know, so I'm sure she'd love to hear it! (Keep metaphors to a minimum though - don't compare her to anything, trust me on this!).

I read that you don't want to let her know about your feelings towards her until you meet, but I've got two things for ya: 1). if she's anything like me, it's pretty easy to pick up on someone's emotions, and 2). just let her know now, or else she's going to be worrying like crazy about it, if she likes you too! No need to be so subtle - there's nothing I like more than a guy who is straight-forward and honest, especially when it comes to his emotions and thoughts towards me!

That's all I can think of for now, but I wish you luck! :D
 

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I can say for myself, I have had long distance relationships that do work. Like you, we had a goal to meet this summer.
You can wait till you are together to tell her how you are feeling, but it would be good to drop hints regarding how incredible you think she is... She will probably already have some idea.
ENFPs like to be swept off of their feet. For me, flattery will get you everywhere :wink: but not all out BS... be sincere, timely, and unique with your praise.

ENFPs are all about FUN!!! plan something FUN into the times that you talk. be random and witty
 
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Wow, thank you as well for your response! Everybody has been so helpful! Fortunately, I love to talk and listen as well, and I know our conversations are always just incredible! I'll definitely always make sure she feels wanted. After all, she's the only girl I have ever met who is constantly on my mind. :) I was just concerned that perhaps a long-distance relationship wouldn't work, but I'm willing to do anything to make sure it can! I'll always make sure to be straight-forward and honest with my emotions, which is not at all hard for me. :) I just wanted to tell her in a special way, but maybe it would mean more to her if I just tell her in an honest confrontation. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thank you so much! I always have a natural tendency to compliment someone. It's best described as, I suppose, sincere flattery. :) I'll definitely do my best to keep things fun! That's the only thing that can be difficult for me; I'm sometimes a workaholic with some of my studies. It's something I know I really need to trim down. What fun things do you always enjoy talking about? Are they normally random and spontaneous, and you can talk about anything? I think I've already dropped hints about my feelings; it just happens naturally. I'm sure I'll keep dropping hints. :) I just really want to make sure I can get this to work, because she's one-of-a-kind. I've never met anybody like her. :) You ENFPs are pretty awesome. :D
 

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Dude just go out and have fun with her. Be cool, be flirty, be charming, be a little cocky, but above all just have fun.

That's how you get an ENFP and any other assortment of letters.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Well, like I said, it isn't exactly easy because we live 1000 miles away. :/ But, I'll keep that in mind when we Skype! I just know some personalities desire other things at a different amount. So, for an ENFP, I've learned a ton about what they enjoy. :) I'm going to do my best to make this work. :)
 

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Well, like I said, it isn't exactly easy because we live 1000 miles away. :/ But, I'll keep that in mind when we Skype! I just know some personalities desire other things at a different amount. So, for an ENFP, I've learned a ton about what they enjoy. :) I'm going to do my best to make this work. :)
Ehh, then I hate to be the bearer for bad news but I would suggest you not get involved with a girl over a thousand miles away. You sound young and I would suggest you just add her to the list of things that you find attractive in another girl. Long distance never works unless you've been around the block a handful of times.
 

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I was in an LDR with a guy I started dating when I was 17. The relationship lasted about four and a half years.

It had rocky moments, but I don't regret the experience at all. I learned a lot from it and still have fondness and respect for him, although we no longer talk. He was an ExFJ, for what it's worth. Probably ESFJ.

You're seventeen and you say that this is the first girl you've felt this way about. Maybe I'm cynical, but I think most people have to practice before they get relationships right, and add to that the stress of long-distance, and...

Well, never say never. Go for it.



I started dating him before it was long-distance, and I was (flirty) friends with him before we dated. I was attracted to his kindness (to others as well as myself), honesty/directness, and playful teasing.

I'd say just take things as they go. Let them develop organically, if they're going to.
 
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