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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So at school this year, there's an ISTJ that dislikes me. Last year, we hated each other. He was mean and annoying to me and likewise for him. I loved annoying him on purpose(just the way he reacted was funtertaining, quite predictable) and he just made mean/crude comments about me. For example, he called me a "hooker" for no reason once. And I called him a "big bowl of black jello" once too. He called me a "retard" on the last day of school and I just ignored him. We were about equal I think but whenever he insulted me, it was 2 or 3 on 1(him and his friend(s) against me)I've ignored him for the first 2 weeks of school because I had no idea what to say because I don't want to be rivals with him this year. He hasn't talked to me at all either. But I don't want it to be that way, so atleast how can I make him not hate me anymore? I was friends with him for around a year before we started hating each other. He's very traditional, rule-abiding, and loyal to people he likes. I've thought about his type. He's either ISTJ or ESTJ. Thought he doesn't like loudness very much so he's more on the ISTJ side in my opinion.
 

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If you guys really don't like each other then maybe not talking to each other is the best solution? Especially if your "conversations" consist mostly of words meant to annoy each other.

Then again there's the theory that "boys pick on the girls they like..."... Maybe he likes you. Although this doesn't really sound like ISTJ behavior to me...

Anyway, in a broader sense of the question... It's really not that hard to be friends with an ISTJ. Be direct with them. Be patient with them. Take the time to truly get to know them. Be honest with them. Be on time. Treat them with respect...

If you take the time to actually get to know this person and stop trying to get under his skin on purpose you might find a pretty decent human being and a loyal friend underneath it all. :happy:
 

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Just leave it alone dnt talk to him and he should just leave you alone. :happy:

Although he doesn't really sound like a ISTJ.
 

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So at school this year, there's an ISTJ that dislikes me. Last year, we hated each other. He was mean and annoying to me and likewise for him. I loved annoying him on purpose... I don't want to be rivals with him this year, so atleast how can I make him not hate me anymore? I was friends with him for around a year before we started hating each other.
-confused- so why the change of heart suddenly? Do you secretly like him ;p? Like Memphisto said though, I don't think it's sounds like typical ISTJ behavior. They're usually nice to people they like, so their teasing is usually more harmless. What happened to make you two hate each other? ISTJs don't forget... so if you did something really bad to cause such hatred towards each other, it may be extremely difficult to regain his trust & have the same kind of friendship as before again.

To be friends with an ISTJ though.. I guess, just be authentic. Show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know them, respect their space/thoughts, and just be friendly. Don't be afraid to take the initiative with them (like saying hi first, randomly approach first, etc) since they tend to keep to themselves. They are slow to trust & seem distant at first, but if you keep trying & stick with them for awhile, they will start to warm up to you. They can be very good/loyal friends once they consider you one too.
 

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lol how old are you? Most ISTJs I know probably wont do this kind of thing. Me on the other hand love insulting people, but in a loving way of course. I will usually have a cheeky grin to show Im not serious but somehow it just seems to irritate people even more :)
 

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I find it odd that an INTP and ISTJ would be fighting and calling each other names. Why were you fighting to begin with? If it was a falling out of sorts, then ask him to talk to you alone for a couple of minutes and have an honest discussion about what happened. Maybe you can come to an agreement to not be hostile towards each other.
 

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So at school this year, there's an ISTJ that dislikes me. Last year, we hated each other. He was mean and annoying to me and likewise for him. I loved annoying him on purpose(just the way he reacted was funtertaining, quite predictable) and he just made mean/crude comments about me.
1. Are you certain of his type?
2. Annoying someone on purpose? That's like poking a lion through a cage with a stick. STOP. DOING. THAT.
3. How old are both of you? From the tone of your post, it sounds like you both are in junior high.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
"Big bowl of black jello"...that has to be the best insult Ive ever heard! Bahahaha, love it!:laughing:
Lawl thanks! Not to brag, but I'm pretty epic at coming up with insults. *totally bragging* XDXDXD
 
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Discussion Starter #13
lol how old are you? Most ISTJs I know probably wont do this kind of thing. Me on the other hand love insulting people, but in a loving way of course. I will usually have a cheeky grin to show Im not serious but somehow it just seems to irritate people even more :)
Lawl I am 13..... AND A HALF! XD I insult people with either a small grin on my face or with a straight face. XD
 
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Discussion Starter #14
1. Are you certain of his type?
2. Annoying someone on purpose? That's like poking a lion through a cage with a stick. STOP. DOING. THAT.
3. How old are both of you? From the tone of your post, it sounds like you both are in junior high.
Yes, I'm certain of his type. Okay, I will for him, I've realized it wouldn't help in becoming friends with him. XD Same age, and yes. What gave our age away? *curious*
 
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Discussion Starter #15
-confused- so why the change of heart suddenly? Do you secretly like him ;p? Like Memphisto said though, I don't think it's sounds like typical ISTJ behavior. They're usually nice to people they like, so their teasing is usually more harmless. What happened to make you two hate each other? ISTJs don't forget... so if you did something really bad to cause such hatred towards each other, it may be extremely difficult to regain his trust & have the same kind of friendship as before again.

To be friends with an ISTJ though.. I guess, just be authentic. Show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know them, respect their space/thoughts, and just be friendly. Don't be afraid to take the initiative with them (like saying hi first, randomly approach first, etc) since they tend to keep to themselves. They are slow to trust & seem distant at first, but if you keep trying & stick with them for awhile, they will start to warm up to you. They can be very good/loyal friends once they consider you one too.
Well we started out as pretty awesome friends, perfectly nice and helpful to each other. Then we started teasing each other, I had this habit of kicking/slapping people playfully. I don't know why I did, and I don't do it anymore now. Something confusing happened, one of my friends told me he was talking behind my back and I was somewhat rude to him. So that playful teasing turned serious slowly and we hated each other by the end of the year.
 

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Well we started out as pretty awesome friends, perfectly nice and helpful to each other. Then we started teasing each other, I had this habit of kicking/slapping people playfully. I don't know why I did, and I don't do it anymore now. Something confusing happened, one of my friends told me he was talking behind my back and I was somewhat rude to him. So that playful teasing turned serious slowly and we hated each other by the end of the year.

Well, start getting used to the idea that your miscommunications can create real problems. You may not realize this now, but splitting hairs and ruffling the wrong sets of feathers could get you into trouble. No more than 2 weeks ago, I had the power to either shoot down or support a classmate's prospects for a position with my firm. If I'd known her better and if my impression of her had been correct, I could've given her a resounding recommendation. In a different setting, I could've also told the boss not to give her a job. And before anyone objects, no, I'm not a power-hungry control freak. I prefer minding my own business and tending to the firm's day-to-day affairs.


But even so, the hallmark of the ISTJ is his loyalty to those he trusts and regards as friends. When you're in a tight spot and in need of help, we're always the first ones to jump in and help. Point being, even if you end up being just friends but not close ones, he may become someone you can count on in your time of need.
 

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Yes, I'm certain of his type. Okay, I will for him, I've realized it wouldn't help in becoming friends with him. XD Same age, and yes. What gave our age away? *curious*
Correct; if you are truly interested in being his friend and not his enemy then sometimes you have to be the bigger person - and in this instance it means being the first one to quit with the name-calling. As far as your age ... because kids that age are mean, cruel, and aggressive. Part of it is due to peer-pressure, and part of it is because of hormones. I've been through it, and I've raised a daughter to adulthood through it, so I know it when I see it.
 

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Well we started out as pretty awesome friends, perfectly nice and helpful to each other. Then we started teasing each other, I had this habit of kicking/slapping people playfully. I don't know why I did, and I don't do it anymore now. Something confusing happened, one of my friends told me he was talking behind my back and I was somewhat rude to him. So that playful teasing turned serious slowly and we hated each other by the end of the year.
FWIW, I was "best friends" with a girl all the way through 7th grade; about halfway through 8th grade she suddenly became extremely mean and nasty to me, convinced all of "our" friends to rail against me, and basically ostracize me from my group of friends. The remainder of my 8th grade year was one of the worst; however, I (slowly) made new friends at the skating rink and by the beginning of the 9th grade, had a new set of friends (the weird way the middle school was set up meant spending our 9th grade year there, instead of at the high school).

Anyway, when I started high school, a weird thing happened. The "instigator" was on my bus route, and the last person to be picked up. I'd since ceased making any attempts to talk to her, associate with her, etc. IOW, she had been cut out. About six or eight weeks in, she started sitting by me on the bus and engaging in light conversation. We became "friends" (the proper term is actually acquaintances; the word "friend" is used far too casually for my liking) again, and I still speak to her occasionally to this day (and that was 25 years ago). However, upon reconciliation, we were never as close as we had been, and never will be.

What I am getting at here is that while the two of you may very well reconcile, be prepared for your friendship to NEVER be the same as it was before, because it WON'T be the same as it was before. I can run into her at the store and shoot the breeze with her easily, but I wouldn't call her to go out to supper with me, invite her to my home, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Correct; if you are truly interested in being his friend and not his enemy then sometimes you have to be the bigger person - and in this instance it means being the first one to quit with the name-calling. As far as your age ... because kids that age are mean, cruel, and aggressive. Part of it is due to peer-pressure, and part of it is because of hormones. I've been through it, and I've raised a daughter to adulthood through it, so I know it when I see it.
Ahh okay. I'll try not doing any name-calling with him anymore from now on. True. Very true.
 

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Well we started out as pretty awesome friends, perfectly nice and helpful to each other. Then we started teasing each other. Something confusing happened, one of my friends told me he was talking behind my back and I was somewhat rude to him. So that playful teasing turned serious slowly and we hated each other by the end of the year.
Sounds like it was some misunderstanding perhaps? If you want a chance of being friends again like before, you need to take the first step and apologize.. talk about what happened & clear up the misunderstanding. Agree to stop being mean to each other! There's a chance of being friendly again if he can sense that you're genuine & regret what happened between you two. According to the ISTJs I know though (and like @Sela's story) they may forgive but Never forget.. so if it really hurt him, he may be very wary of you in the future even if you manage to get on better terms again.

Having someone you trust to suddenly turn around and treat you badly can be very hurtful. Please keep that in mind before you start to say mean things to friends you care about :)
 
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