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what should i be focusing on? discipline? expressing myself? not being so shy? like what am i supposed to be workin on over here?
how to be healthy?
[INFP]
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For me I'm thinking it's about learning to love myself and not put myself down, sell myself short. To realise that I have the capabilities to do things and i'm allowed to fail and that failure is only a stepping stone to future success.
To try and get out of my comfort zone from time to time to grow by being in uneasy waters having to learn to adapt but still be myself.
To focus on things that utilize my strengths so that I am rewarded with achievement for things I find enjoyment in.
Because I dont think it's so much about working on your weaker functions to become more well rounded as it is to push your strengths out and become natural at what ever it is you pursue. If you work in your shadow you won't just be bad at it, you'll be a bad you even and be tired, you work at being yourself and treating yourself well you'll become better have more energy to improve yourself in areas you wish and become a more confident individual because you'll love yourself
To try and get out of my comfort zone from time to time to grow by being in uneasy waters having to learn to adapt but still be myself.
To focus on things that utilize my strengths so that I am rewarded with achievement for things I find enjoyment in.
Because I dont think it's so much about working on your weaker functions to become more well rounded as it is to push your strengths out and become natural at what ever it is you pursue. If you work in your shadow you won't just be bad at it, you'll be a bad you even and be tired, you work at being yourself and treating yourself well you'll become better have more energy to improve yourself in areas you wish and become a more confident individual because you'll love yourself
Stop caring about what others think about you as long as you have your purpose in life, if you just graduate, try to find a job and soround yourself with good and honest people and work hard, focus on things you want to accomplish.
Great Post, the bit in bold is particularly important; I feel some of us often sabotage our own selfs cos of this.
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I think you need to specify in what aspects exactly you want to improve on in health. Think about how you are currently approaching this: you are trying to improve the entirety all at once. That's not practical; you have to work from the ground up on this.
I think the first step is to introspect and find what things are causing unhealthiness or internal discomfort. What things are the most salient, which ones are causing you great discomfort? For example - are you displeased with how you are in social situations? If so, then what about how you are acting in social situations is causing you internal discomfort? Do you wish to be more social and more outspoken? If so, how can you improve upon this?
If you are feeling unhealthy, you need to specify what is making you feel unhealthy. From there, you can work your way up.
I think the first step is to introspect and find what things are causing unhealthiness or internal discomfort. What things are the most salient, which ones are causing you great discomfort? For example - are you displeased with how you are in social situations? If so, then what about how you are acting in social situations is causing you internal discomfort? Do you wish to be more social and more outspoken? If so, how can you improve upon this?
If you are feeling unhealthy, you need to specify what is making you feel unhealthy. From there, you can work your way up.
If you need a friend I'm here for you : )
Message me, we could exchange msn.
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Great question and I'm so glad you're asking this.
If only more people were interested in trying to better themselves as individuals instead of being asshats to others in order to feel better.Now, I do not know you, so I cannot exactly tell you what you need to do. However, I can give you a general answer to your question. Many people who feel that they have an issue that is hurting them and their loved ones around them go to a therapist to eliminate the issue. Of course, some of us either do not have the time, the money, or even the guts to face another person about our issues.
That said, self-help books have been gaining popularity over recent years. You get to become your own therapist, at your own pace and time. The one thing about this is, though, is that sometimes you have to reread the material in order to fully absorb it into your subconscious in order to learn.
Remember to check with a medical doctor to get some general assessment. Have him (or her) check you out and ask for blood tests. They can tell you what is it that you need to take (Whether it's a change in your diet, vitamins, or medication) in order to become healthier.
I hope this helps. One very important thing: Make a list of what is it that's causing problems for you. Whether it's your weight, your health, your depression/anxiety, your shyness, what ever it is, write it down and make a promise to yourself to do what ever it takes to get rid of this problem. Once you do, check it off from the list.
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The title of your thread is about being healthy. You have any reasons to think you're maybe not healthy? Because if there are issues that are making you 'unhealthy', that's most likely where you get your 'health' back from.
The questions you have in your posts sound more like they're about becoming 'stronger', not so much about becoming more 'healthy'.
So yah, I'd go with what @ForsakenMe says, work on your issues to become healthy, then you can work on your strengths as an INFP (Fi, Ne mainly) and see what you can improve about yourself to complement your strengths, which would probably something like developing 'use' of other functions.
Also, don't be disappointed if things don't go as fast as you'd like to. It takes years to strengthen your personality, and not all things are under your control, or not as much as you'd like them to be. ^^
I would start figuring out your hierarchy of Needs (Certainty, Uncertainty, Significance, Connection, Growth and Contribution) and making sure all your needs are filled on a minimum level and then up-level by eliminating single dependencies and figuring out how to meet those needs that are more aligned to your values. So instead of one good friend, you uplevel by making two. Instead of a job that pays the bills, you uplevel by getting a job that gives you more meaning. Otherwise, it's always two steps forward, one step back.
All the stuff you mentioned, discipline, expression, not being shy will be stuff you'll end up working on as you try meet your needs. That's why figuring out your hierarchy is important. Work on whatever need is most important and meet it a minimum level and then go to the next.
I've been thinking about this a lot over the past year, actually. Like becoming a "healthy INFP" is the ascension to maturity or adulthood. I'm at that point in my life where I'm a couple years late to the career starting show, and I still don't know what to do with myself; separate problem though. Case at hand; what separates the men from the boys? Specifically for INFP's, the following have ended up being important lessons;
First is knowing what encompasses individualism. The difference between a trait, a flaw, and a straight up failure. What to accept as part of your identity, and what is healthy to phase out. That probably doesn't make much sense on its own, so here's a watered down/generalized example from my own experiences; shyness. As is obvious, it's symptomatic of being an introverted feeler. Shyness isn't a crime on its own, but it tends to be paired with poor social skills. You can't use the excuse of "I'm shy" when you have a total nervous breakdown during a job interview, or simply skip it altogether. Having social ability is essential; a lack of it is an obstacle to be overcame. Being an introvert, on the other hand, is no such weakness. It may get in the way of overcoming this hurdle, but it's a trait, and its something about ourselves that we need to accept as what it is; both a boon and a flaw.
Second is the ability to accept your past failures, no matter how recent. Curse my able memory, I relive moments of regret in my past all the time and still rage at myself to this day for things I did as a child. I know this to be wrong; the only good these memories serve are lessons learned, particularly ones of my child self. While most won't have this problem to the extend I do, it's still an important thing to accomplish. Just like accepting your flaws, and identifying failings within yourself that you -can- change, you also have to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made before you learned of your folly... and even those you made after. None of us are perfect, and many of us may make the same mistake more than once before getting the lesson drilled in.
The last and probably the most obvious that I can think of now is to cease being an unnecessary burden. Of course excluding care for disabilities, one of the main traits of being a child in the mind is having to lean on the adults. Making a goal of financial self-sufficiency just as readily as emotional self-sufficiency. The understanding that lovers don't fill an incomplete heart; only you can. Being able to get up when you're knocked down, and help your friends up when they drop, no matter what kind of person you are. In this idea we find the reason "emos" are considered childish. In the literal comparison sense, you're clearly unhealthy if you can't stand on your own two feet.
First is knowing what encompasses individualism. The difference between a trait, a flaw, and a straight up failure. What to accept as part of your identity, and what is healthy to phase out. That probably doesn't make much sense on its own, so here's a watered down/generalized example from my own experiences; shyness. As is obvious, it's symptomatic of being an introverted feeler. Shyness isn't a crime on its own, but it tends to be paired with poor social skills. You can't use the excuse of "I'm shy" when you have a total nervous breakdown during a job interview, or simply skip it altogether. Having social ability is essential; a lack of it is an obstacle to be overcame. Being an introvert, on the other hand, is no such weakness. It may get in the way of overcoming this hurdle, but it's a trait, and its something about ourselves that we need to accept as what it is; both a boon and a flaw.
Second is the ability to accept your past failures, no matter how recent. Curse my able memory, I relive moments of regret in my past all the time and still rage at myself to this day for things I did as a child. I know this to be wrong; the only good these memories serve are lessons learned, particularly ones of my child self. While most won't have this problem to the extend I do, it's still an important thing to accomplish. Just like accepting your flaws, and identifying failings within yourself that you -can- change, you also have to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made before you learned of your folly... and even those you made after. None of us are perfect, and many of us may make the same mistake more than once before getting the lesson drilled in.
The last and probably the most obvious that I can think of now is to cease being an unnecessary burden. Of course excluding care for disabilities, one of the main traits of being a child in the mind is having to lean on the adults. Making a goal of financial self-sufficiency just as readily as emotional self-sufficiency. The understanding that lovers don't fill an incomplete heart; only you can. Being able to get up when you're knocked down, and help your friends up when they drop, no matter what kind of person you are. In this idea we find the reason "emos" are considered childish. In the literal comparison sense, you're clearly unhealthy if you can't stand on your own two feet.
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