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what should i be focusing on? discipline? expressing myself? not being so shy? like what am i supposed to be workin on over here?
Great question and I'm so glad you're asking this. :) If only more people were interested in trying to better themselves as individuals instead of being asshats to others in order to feel better.

Now, I do not know you, so I cannot exactly tell you what you need to do. However, I can give you a general answer to your question. Many people who feel that they have an issue that is hurting them and their loved ones around them go to a therapist to eliminate the issue. Of course, some of us either do not have the time, the money, or even the guts to face another person about our issues.

That said, self-help books have been gaining popularity over recent years. You get to become your own therapist, at your own pace and time. The one thing about this is, though, is that sometimes you have to reread the material in order to fully absorb it into your subconscious in order to learn.

Remember to check with a medical doctor to get some general assessment. Have him (or her) check you out and ask for blood tests. They can tell you what is it that you need to take (Whether it's a change in your diet, vitamins, or medication) in order to become healthier.

I hope this helps. One very important thing: Make a list of what is it that's causing problems for you. Whether it's your weight, your health, your depression/anxiety, your shyness, what ever it is, write it down and make a promise to yourself to do what ever it takes to get rid of this problem. Once you do, check it off from the list.
 
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