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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hi im 15 years old and and infp or infj (i am just really not sure) my mom is an entj and it is impossible for me to talk to her without bursting in tears or start yelling. I feel vulnerable because the way she speaks is very direct ( she once
tried to talk to my brother who is kinda computer addict about the time he pends on computer by telling him he is becoming asocial by locking him into a room and yelling at all of us and he is just 8!!) maybe i am too sensetive but i am sick of arguing with her and crying everyday because of our fights. When i tell something she answers me by telling me what i am not good at what i is wrong about me. This is also my sensetive spot because like 2 years i started feeling like everything is wrong about me and i should be corrected. She usually misunderstands me and doesnt even let me explain myself. I feel irritated even when i start talking to her. Sometimes i feel nauseous. I am not trying to say she is wrong, i am right i dont even think anything is right or wrong. i cant speak like this. i feel scared coming home thinking i will argue with her. i almost memorize everything she says when we fight and hear it allover againg the time after we argue. It is so tiring and i am so confused. What should i do to not to fight to her. Please dont tell me to talk to her about this because she doesnt accept to listen. what can i do to make her listen to me without feeling judged and how can i stop being so sensetive
 

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ENTJ's are quite prone to that 'my way or the highway' behaviour. If you can develop your own logical arguments about why you feel the way you do about certain subjects she will probably appreciate them more. If you could come up with a logical argument about your sensitivity she would probably listen to that as well.

As an NT myself I can't give much advice on emotional outbursts as I experience very little myself. But try to take everything she says from an objective point of view. If someone was watching the argument without any bias, what would they think?

But not being an ENTJ, I don't know exactly what makes them tick. And since MBTI is no be all and end all for personality, ENTJ A may differ slightly from ENTJ B.
 

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Well if you typed her correct then the answer from strictly mbti angle I think is, figuring out whether your infp or infj.

If your infp that tap into your te/fi more to connect with her on that level.

If your infj then tap into your ni/se more to connect with her on that level.

My mom is intj, so I can grasp what you say on how they can come off. I guess I was 50/50 a total toss up on myself and my mother, some conversations she would totally irritate me and I would think she was self righteous (te/fi vs ti/fe clash I think) and then other times we would communicate with T & T in sync complimenting each other with Ti/Te convo. So I can grasp the irritation your discussing on coping with an NTJ parent.

Now my lil sis she is INFJ its weird because in some ways she was in sync with mother (I think heavy Ni) I know my mother has always appreciated her think before leap approach. But my sister used to CONSTANTLY have giant emotional outbursts reacting to my mom. And it almost became a very petty power play and exchange of both of them back and forth from my view (as well as others in the household, basically everyone else in the household wishing my mom would just stop patronizing my sisters clearly more over sensitive disposition, and everyone wishing my sister would stop fricken feeding my mom-NTJs love challenging anything challenged so my sister just kept feeding the troll by responding constantly in emotional outburst.) And yes an NTJ can be a troll everyone thinks of an ENTP as the fun loving troll, now picture the cunning and clever brain power of an NTJ who loves to watch people get bent because it gives them a stroke of power. (No I know all NTJs are not like that) But how your describing your mom totally sounds like major power issues. I strongly suggest you stop feeding her. In my household in general I was always the person basically screaming at everyone to STFU it was like a giant know it all fest with an INFJ, INTJ, and then my xNTP step dad. OM Fawking gawd people who fucken cares who is right or who knows what. Just everyone shut the fawk up!

No insult intended at all to any type people are still individuals but seriously INFJ & ENTJ both like to be right and expert. Ni there

So do INFP & ENTJ (Fi)

Basically I am suggesting you distinguish what is a battle and what is just bait or patronizing. Its not in your moms wiring very likely to lay over and end a mental brawl she will likely mentally murder anyone challenging her if they are putting her on defense (which an INFP or INFJ would likely do) You gotta try and really feather out whats important and note worthy and what can be left out and seriously seriously seriously work on your delivery, she will not take you serious if you have an emotional outburst everytime when trying to be taken serious. If you want to be taken serious then consider your own conduct and delivery.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thank you for your answers what you said sound very much like my mom and i think i get what you both said. i think i should learn to accept her as an entj. what i was doing wrong was trying to explain myself in my way forgetting she is an entj an already at her limit cannot hold her "entj comments" back anymore.
 
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