I can relate to the OP's issue, as I'm an INTJ. In my opinion, NT's run into this a lot.
Speaking purely for myself (though I feel like a lot of NTs have something similar), I have a conversational mode where I'm in "neutral." This can take two forms:
(a) Sometimes, I'm concentrating so hard on processing what's being said (the ideas) that I don't participate in the conversation myself. It's not just that I don't; in fact, I can't: when the input is so overwhelming, output is impossible. But because the others can't see the raging rush inside my head, they interpret my silence as disengagement, and thus disapproval. But the truth is, I'm so hyper-engaged that I don't know if I approve or disapprove yet: that comes after all the processing. But other people think I disapprove.
(b) Similarly, some people interpret lack of affirmation as rejection (whereas, I only interpret outright explicit rejection as actual rejection). So simply accepting other people's opinions without engaging in debate (in my view) was interpreted as rejection or disapproval (in their view). But affirming others' views can feel odd (why am I telling you how you feel? Can't you figure that out yourself?), or fake, or inefficient--and the last two are counter to my personal values.
[As a semi-aside: I think NTs are in a double-bind here, because many people don't like our primary mode of engaging people, which is through debate of ideas, because they can feel attacked. So we don't go down that road, but they also feel uncomfortable if we don't engage them. What they really want (though they'd never say it this way) is for NTs to engage them in un-NT ways, but that feels like a rejection of the self to the NT, and thus can feel like engaging others at the expense of the self. And obviously, that's enormously painful.]
goguapsy, if you can relate to any of the above at all, here are two things that I've found useful:
(1) Give people affirmation, even if it's for little things. That helps with the lack of affirmation equals rejection problem.
(2) If you want to be friends with someone, tell them what you admire (which is presumably what you want to base your friendship on). Maybe add (if it's relevant) that you have different opinions about certain things, but you don't think that's a minus.
Hope this helps!