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Discussion Starter #1
I'm a sexually experienced ENFP woman who now has her first less experienced partner. Some other partners were I's, but all had been around the block a lot while this guy has only made a few trips. How can I help the INTx with inhibitions? When we have sex I think he's thinking as we're doing it and not enjoying the moment. At times he psyches himself out.

Any suggestions from those who are this guy's type or from those who've enjoyed sex with this type?
 

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Just give him time and patience, he'll get there.
 

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Don't give him time to think :p
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Don't give him time to think :p
Yes, but how? I try to keep him in the moment but even though I know he's turned on he kinda checks out for a moment and then we have to work on getting back to how we were before. BTW, I realize the "checking out" may not be an INTx trait, it's just him. He loses attention at other times but I notice it especially during sex because I think it's particularly stressful for him.
 

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Get him really really drunk.

EDIT: And P.s. He's totally thinking. Der. What else would he be doing. He's thinking "well shit this feels pretty good. But. Sex is fuckin' weird.....but hell."

It's just something you gotta deal with.

(Even though I suppose he could be different, iunnotheguy.)
 

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Play into the mind of your partner.. If he needs to think of the moment to be in it, make it interesting on his grounds.. He will then have a "clear head" for future times to just get riled up and go wild..

Example of which, play games, foreplay style, that have an engaging subject. Roleplay etc.. This doesn't take away from it, but obviously your involvement in the sensation and feeling of the experience needs to cross over to him.. If you cant be inventive and he happens to be INTJ, then the practicality or physicality is lacking somewhat.. Serious business and all that jazz.
 

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Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
Play into the mind of your partner.. If he needs to think of the moment to be in it, make it interesting on his grounds.. He will then have a "clear head" for future times to just get riled up and go wild..
Yes, in general we need to get him to a "clear head."

Unfortunately, I do think he stresses about helping me achieve orgasm too. It comes across as resentment, though I'm not sure if that's how he truly feels. It's added pressure for a man who is much more anxious and sensitive about sex than I realized.

If you cant be inventive and he happens to be INTJ, then the practicality or physicality is lacking somewhat.. Serious business and all that jazz.
Can you elaborate on this?
 

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No, it's not me she's talking about. I was just speaking my mind.

And yea I had a suggestion. I suggested get him drunk.
Hardly a solution to get him drunk. The Alcohol could effect potency.. Get him stoned instead would have also been a suggestion.. Then again, it wouldn't help the non-stoned times. But he may get an appetite for the sensation.. Hmm.
 

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Hardly a solution to get him drunk. The Alcohol could effect potency.. Get him stoned instead would have also been a suggestion.. Then again, it wouldn't help the non-stoned times. But he may get an appetite for the sensation.. Hmm.
If potency is a concern, pot probably wouldn't be too good an idea.

Iunno, I've never gotten too "in the mood" when I'm high. However every time it's just....happened. It's always been sweet. Nah mean?

Whatevz. Lower inhibitions with liquor. He won't do anything he regrets even if he's drunk. Unless you get him too drunk. So don't be shady.
 

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If potency is a concern, pot probably wouldn't be too good an idea.

Iunno, I've never gotten too "in the mood" when I'm high. However every time it's just....happened. It's always been sweet. Nah mean?
You see, you rather backed me up with this comment.. However you managed to have it "just happen", if you were unable to get an erection? So potency is unaffected by marijuana.. Not to mention, senses are heightened and the mind can become more.. how to say it... Involved.
 

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You see, you rather backed me up with this comment.. However you managed to have it "just happen", if you were unable to get an erection? So potency is unaffected by marijuana.. Not to mention, senses are heightened and the mind can become more.. how to say it... Involved.
I didn't catch the whole he-can't-get-it-up part. I just thought he was never in the mood >.< Woops.

There is a difference between not being in the mood, and being capable of being in the mood. I'm capable right now. But I'm in no mood to do it. But if someone (like someone I was dating) was just on my nuts, I'd probably eventually get in the mood. That's all I meant. And it's THOSE times while high that I were referring to.

But yea. Don't do the alcohol if he can't get it up.

Viagra?
 

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Viagra is a very serious drug that affects Nitric Oxide, the cardiovascular system and much more, should not be taken lightly.

I'm pretty sure all she wants is INTx turn ons, mood enhancers, stuff to make him focus and be more open and in the moment.. the guy doesn't have a *physical* problem. :wink:
 
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Viagra is a very serious drug that affects Nitrogen Oxide, the cardiovascular system and much more, should not be taken lightly.

I'm pretty sure all she wants is INTx turn ons, mood enhancers, stuff to make him focus and be more open and in the moment.. the guy doesn't have a *physical* problem. :wink:
I love nerd talk ouuu more more!! :tongue:
 

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Well then why were people all trying to get on my nuts about it?

Well if that's how it is, then I stick to my original post.

There isn't much you can do. Rub his back. Rub his head. Rub his leg. Just regular shit. Don't hop on him. If he hugs you or is being cuddly, roll with it.
 
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