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I am blessed with both a brother and a close friend being type 8s. Both struggle with anger, although I am not the source, they will have moments where it comes out towards me and I am wondering what can I do?
 

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I am blessed with both a brother and a close friend being type 8s. Both struggle with anger, although I am not the source, they will have moments where it comes out towards me and I am wondering what can I do?
They direct their anger towards you and you haven't done anything to be on the receiving end? Sounds strange. Especially since 6 shit testing seem to be the most common source of 8 aggression.

Care to give an example?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
They direct their anger towards you and you haven't done anything to be on the receiving end? Sounds strange. Especially since 6 shit testing seem to be the most common source of 8 aggression.

Care to give an example?
For example, I don't put on my seatbelt fast enough, bam they're annoyed. If I am not doing EXACTLY what they want they react. This has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with their own assumptions. I just happen to be in their way and get fired at, I am not their source. As in, I am not the root or cause of it, it's their own self/issue.
 
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For example, I don't put on my seatbelt fast enough, bam they're annoyed. If I am not doing EXACTLY what they want they react. This has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with their own assumptions. I just happen to be in their way and get fired at, I am not their source. As in, I am not the root or cause of it, it's their own self/issue.
Sounds more like sibling rivalry. If you want respect and stop being a pushover, fire back.
 

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I keep trying to get my 8 ex-wife to get into kickboxing. She would really benefit from learning how to hit a heavy bag. It would release a lot of her frustration, tension, and stress, not to mention focus her. Alas, she won't take the time to do it.
 

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I keep trying to get my 8 ex-wife to get into kickboxing. She would really benefit from learning how to hit a heavy bag. It would release a lot of her frustration, tension, and stress, not to mention focus her. Alas, she won't take the time to do it.
It releases tension, but also intimidates people more if they know someone isn't just someone with a temper, but also quite capable.

Besides you can't walk around with a heavy bag all of the time to use when people act stupid.
 

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To answer the topic - either fight back with some valid input or let them blow off their steam.

Hints to not get them angry: Don't do stupid, disrespectful things
Hints to get them angry: Do stupid, disrespectful things.

Edit: If you get in their way all of the time I can see why they get frustrated. To solve that, try to not get in their way or even help them when they want to do things.
 

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It releases tension, but also intimidates people more if they know someone isn't just someone with a temper, but also quite capable.

Besides you can't walk around with a heavy bag all of the time to use when people act stupid.
I think if she had some place to put some of her aggressiveness on a regular basis, she would be able to let a lot more things go in her everyday life.
 

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They sound like sub average health 8s. Trust me, I've been there.

Here's my most sincere advice to all 8s:

LEARN TO LET GO! The easiest way is through meditation. And no, punching things isn't the right way. Scientific studies have proven that punching a bag has VERY short term effect. Learning to let go and/or channel your anger back into you(then it deflates completely and you get free energy!) is what you should be doing. When the energy comes, you can help others and you are well on the way towards healthy levels. Maybe even to magnanimity? The most healthy level of an 8. Magnanimity is truly wonderful to behold...
 

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They sound like sub average health 8s. Trust me, I've been there.

Here's my most sincere advice to all 8s:

LEARN TO LET GO! The easiest way is through meditation. And no, punching things isn't the right way. Scientific studies have proven that punching a bag has VERY short term effect. Learning to let go and/or channel your anger back into you(then it deflates completely and you get free energy!) is what you should be doing. When the energy comes, you can help others and you are well on the way towards healthy levels. Maybe even to magnanimity? The most healthy level of an 8. Magnanimity is truly wonderful to behold...
I meditate and exercise frequently, but when people act stupid towards me, especially under stress all of that goes out of the window.

You can't just flip off the energy and bury your head in the sand like you 9s do, you have to put it somewhere.
 

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I am blessed with both a brother and a close friend being type 8s. Both struggle with anger, although I am not the source, they will have moments where it comes out towards me and I am wondering what can I do?
the only 8 you will normally need to "calm down" is the Sexual 8w7. calmness is a hallmark of 8w9s, as well as Self Preservation 8s in general. Social 8s are more playful and "older brother/sister-y".

if the 8s you run into in your life are frequently losing their shit over nothing, you might want to consider if they could be Sexual 6s, Sexual 4s or unhealthy 2s.
 

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the only 8 you will normally need to "calm down" is the Sexual 8w7. calmness is a hallmark of 8w9s, as well as Self Preservation 8s in general. Social 8s are more playful and "older brother/sister-y".

if the 8s you run into in your life are frequently losing their shit over nothing, you might want to consider if they could be Sexual 6s, Sexual 4s or unhealthy 2s.
How much of this is just projecting their own shit onto others?
 

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I meditate and exercise frequently, but when people act stupid towards me, especially under stress all of that goes out of the window.

You can't just flip off the energy and bury your head in the sand like you 9s do, you have to put it somewhere.
Thing is, I could very well be 8w9 as much as 9w8. It's just that I learned how to control those and accept people as they are: stupid, stupid and even more stupid. Oh, and don't expect anything. Just go and live in the present.

Edit: Plus I value peace highly, but when the push comes to the shove? I'd act more like 8 tbh.
 

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Thing is, I could very well be 8w9 as much as 9w8. It's just that I learned how to control those and accept people as they are: stupid, stupid and even more stupid. Oh, and don't expect anything. Just go and live in the present.

Edit: Plus I value peace highly, but when the push comes to the shove? I'd act more like 8 tbh.
If you explode when push comes to show then I guess you might be an 8. The 9s I've met, I usually try to drag out their anger, but it's like they get like "YEAH, FUCK THAT SH..." and then they shut down. Actually, it's kind of funny to try to push that button.
 

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If you explode when push comes to show then I guess you might be an 8. The 9s I've met, I usually try to drag out their anger, but it's like they get like "YEAH, FUCK THAT SH..." and then they shut down. Actually, it's kind of funny to try to push that button.
Is not that much explode as "HOLD YOUR GROUND OR DIE!!!". Idk how different it is. Maybe it could be Sx6 rather than a general 8 attitude. I am more about defense overall than aggression tbh.
 

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Is not that much explode as "HOLD YOUR GROUND OR DIE!!!". Idk how different it is. Maybe it could be Sx6 rather than a general 8 attitude. I am more about defense overall than aggression tbh.
That's how it is for me. Never back down unless you are wrong. General defence (against what?) is not something that concerns me. If it weren't for stupid people I wouldn't get mad at all. Well if things don't work how they should as well I suppose. Yeah and when I'm tired and hungry. lol...
 

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I am blessed with both a brother and a close friend being type 8s. Both struggle with anger, although I am not the source, they will have moments where it comes out towards me and I am wondering what can I do?

Let them spin off............ They will be back soon enough.

You are not in control of them. You have no power over them. If you try, you will annoy them, and do nothing useful except get frustrated yourself.

Over time we grow up, and less and less bothers us, but we do indeed use anger or rage or whatever to get shit moving or done. Part of how we are. And sometimes it spills onto folks we don't mean to.

let it go.
 
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They sound like sub average health 8s. Trust me, I've been there.

Here's my most sincere advice to all 8s:

LEARN TO LET GO! The easiest way is through meditation. And no, punching things isn't the right way. Scientific studies have proven that punching a bag has VERY short term effect. Learning to let go and/or channel your anger back into you(then it deflates completely and you get free energy!) is what you should be doing. When the energy comes, you can help others and you are well on the way towards healthy levels. Maybe even to magnanimity? The most healthy level of an 8. Magnanimity is truly wonderful to behold...
Peace and transquility is what a 9 wants.

I can have my anger and drive and push and accept myself for getting shit done. But I don't need to control others, nor do I need to be controlled.

If I have a temper tantrum, ignore me. Or laugh at me. I'll be back.
 
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