Hi everyone, I'm an INFP (9w8) married for 4 years to an ESTJ (2w1) – so our lives are never boring! I'm here to gather advice on how best to care for her when she's upset or in pain. Her default response is to completely shut out the rest of the world: the shutters come down, and she'll barely communicate at all. She's a doer, and cares a lot about jobs being done, so she'll spend the energy she has left channeled into doing those before she crashes to bed. My response when I see her suffering is to want to reach out, in any way I can – words, time, service, physical touch, gifts, whatever. Unfortunately, when she's in shutout mode I feel like I'm running into a brick wall, and I can't understand why she wants to keep me out too. What's the best way to show her she's loved and appreciated and cared for, without leaving myself open to rejection?