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How do I help my INTJ bf read between the lines when I speak or how do I even 'speak in lines', so that I stop being misinterpreted so often? Anyone got experience with this?
 

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So is your boyfriend an INTJ or an INFJ?

I once dated an INFJ, and they like to read between the lines. I guess it's an Ni thing generally. They interpret things through inferences, body languages, vibes and think it all through. They generally feel and think deeply. I don't think you need to speak between the lines with them, they can generally spot inauthenticity quickly and accurately, but when they're insecure they like to over analyze things.

It can get pretty overwhelming for an ENTP who don't feel as deeply or over-analyze (we do, just not as much as they do). I think they generally get insecure when what you say, how you act, and how you feel didn't match, or at least seemed so. The only way to get through this is talk it through with them, and tell them you're genuine and give some gesture to prove it.

Most of the time though, they're pretty accurate. Some time, they're just paranoid. I guess understand why they insist to read between the lines, they might have some insecurity bottled up for the issue.
 

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It would depend on the topic of conversation. INTJs and INFJs are both highly gifted at reading between the lines, but mainly in their respective domains, i.e. INTJs in using Te and INFJs in using Fe. Both types can become shockingly thick if you try to speak using subtext in matters where their auxiliary function is not well-suited to judging.

In other words, we would benefit from clarification of your BF's type and of what situations this problem arises in.
 

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So is your boyfriend an INTJ or an INFJ?

I once dated an INFJ, and they like to read between the lines. I guess it's an Ni thing generally. They interpret things through inferences, body languages, vibes and think it all through. They generally feel and think deeply. I don't think you need to speak between the lines with them, they can generally spot inauthenticity quickly and accurately, but when they're insecure they like to over analyze things.

It can get pretty overwhelming for an ENTP who don't feel as deeply or over-analyze (we do, just not as much as they do). I think they generally get insecure when what you say, how you act, and how you feel didn't match, or at least seemed so. The only way to get through this is talk it through with them, and tell them you're genuine and give some gesture to prove it.

Most of the time though, they're pretty accurate. Some time, they're just paranoid. I guess understand why they insist to read between the lines, they might have some insecurity bottled up for the issue.
It can and might be both things. Ni makes connection between seemingly unrelated things (or not), looking for meaning or something that isn't obvious at first sight. So when someone says ABC to an INFJ or at least to me, it is very natural that my mind will look for a meaning behind the obvious one (in other words, what was literally said by a person). To be fair, a lot of people do say things meaning something different than what was actually said and sometimes this INFJ "gift" comes in hand.

As for the insecurity aspect, I can't and won't speak for every INFJ out there, but Ni will see possibilities and my mind in particular loves, she just loves to focus on the worst possible outcomes. Because surely the worst things possible are always the most likely to happen, regardless of how illogical that line of thought might be.

Anyways, for the thread creator, you could try telling him to stop reading between the lines. Tell him that when you say ABC, you meant ABC and not ZYX. That will not stop him from reading between the lines inside his head, but it might cause him to consider the most obvious meaning more often when talking to you.

If your boyfriend is an INTJ, though, I can't say much, as I wouldn't share his type.
 

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How do I help my INTJ bf read between the lines when I speak or how do I even 'speak in lines', so that I stop being misinterpreted so often? Anyone got experience with this?
Is your boyfriend INTJ or INFJ?

Assuming your boyfriend is INTJ, I just wanted to put in sometimes when I'm around ENTPs, their Ne gets a bit overwhelming. I also get a bit confused with their style of humor if it's based on social norms since I don't know if they're making fun of me or if they're making a joke (because to me, these sorts of jokes aren't funny). However, usually their absurdity based humor makes up for it quite a lot.

While Fe and Fi are in the tertiary focus for both types, this can clash. I'm sure a quick Google search can explain the Fe/Fi clash and give you enough information on how to work on it if this is happening.

Another problem might be that your INTJ is unable to keep up with your Ne at the pace that you expect him to.

While you are both NTs, where your T is focused is going to affect communication. Take the time to make certain whatever subject you two are discussing has an agreed upon definition before moving forward with it.

Also, INTJs can sometimes put off vibes that they're disinterested, are irritated, or are upset when they're just doing their thing.

Hopefully this helps a bit. Look at the difference between Fi (INTJ) and Fe (ENTP) and you'll get something from that.
 
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I'm ENTP with a INFJ gf, so talking by the experience my INFJ gf have not absolutely any issue to read me, but the opposite is not true, I've a lot of trouble to keep a minimium focus in trying to read her. So, the misscomunication goes nearly always in the INFJ ---> ENTP direction.

Most of our discussions come from this side actually. In a normal situation I think I can use my intuition to "forecast" communication even before it exists, and then directly ask closed questions for verification, instead of trying to read her. But does not work always, specially when I'm hyperfocusing in something.

Anyway, could it be that your problem is not misintrepretation but passive/defensive manipulation ? I mean, you drop the message encoded properly, but your partner deliberately misinterpret it to play the "victim" role and get via your empathy a better deal ? (sorry...).
 
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