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Discussion Starter #1
Hi there!

I'm an INTP, and I've always been intrigued by ENFJ's. I think your type is very interesting and I do personally know a few ENFJ's. In fact, one of my closest friends is this type, but the thing is, we're not close close, if you know what I mean.

What I'm trying to get at, is how can I connect with an ENFJ to get to know them a little better? I'm wondering if this is maybe caused by myself not being able to read emotions well, and not having much natural empathy or sympathy. I'd like to know how your type generally likes to interact with others, and how I can be a friend to the typical ENFJ.

Thanks a lot, I appreciate your help! :proud:

Mel
 

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ENFJs love to interact with other people, so I'm sure that your friends will already be very happy that you want to spend more time with them and understand them better.
Even if you cannot necessarily relate to your ENFJ friends, they will try to relate to you. ENFJs enjoy hearing about others' lives and what interests them so they can develop a rapport with people. At the same time, they would like both individuals in a relationship to be on the same footing, so they are appreciative when you ask about what is going on in their lives because to them; this demonstrates genuine interest in your friendship. I would suggest spending time with them in general, paying close attention to them, and being honest and open. ENFJs are deeply intuitive, and I've found that they can often tell when people are not really interested or are not being genuine. They are empathetic and forgiving, nevertheless. Of course, you are not obligated to become a super-extrovert around them; what's more, they will be understanding of your desire for solitude, either because they comprehend the principles of introversion or because they themselves need time alone.

I hope this helped a little :) Functions-wise, I'm not technically an ENFJ, but I consider myself an ambivert and often score ENFJ on mbti tests. I also have a few close ENFJ friends.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
ENFJs love to interact with other people, so I'm sure that your friends will already be very happy that you want to spend more time with them and understand them better.

ENFJs are deeply intuitive, and I've found that they can often tell when people are not really interested or are not being genuine. They are empathetic and forgiving, nevertheless. Of course, you are not obligated to become a super-extrovert around them; what's more, they will be understanding of your desire for solitude, either because they comprehend the principles of introversion or because they themselves need time alone.

I hope this helped a little :) Functions-wise, I'm not technically an ENFJ, but I consider myself an ambivert and often score ENFJ on mbti tests. I also have a few close ENFJ friends.
I've found my ENFJ friends are always appreciative of something even as small as a short chat. They have tried to connect with me emotionally, but I find that this kind of interaction doesn't come to me naturally, and I'm still trying to work on that aspect of socialisation.

I have also found that some of my ENFJ friends understand introversion, which I am incredibly appreciative and grateful of, as I know of many other extraverted types who completely ignore the fact that other people are different to them. Quite frankly, I really like the fact that ENFJ's are always there to listen and give advice and are genuinely interested in the person they're communicating with. I'm sure there are some people who see this act as "people pleasing", but I don't see that side of it anyway. This probably makes ENFJ's my favourite type other than my own.

And thank you, this did help :)
Also, it's interesting that you're an ambivert, surprisingly I've never come across one before!

All the best to you.
 

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You're welcome! :) I'm glad I could help.
Even if you and your ENFJ friends aren't completely in touch on an emotional level, you can still become close by way of common interests; the ENFJs I know are intellectual/ cerebral people who enjoy discussing current events, literature, scientific theories, anything really.
I'm not sure that it's wholly 'people-pleasing' either. Of course, it is nice when one can help others feel positive about themselves, and when others have a good impression of oneself. But there is also the value of being tolerant and accepting.
Ambiversion seems to be a bit of an impossibility in mbti, thanks to cognitive functions. I'd almost prefer to view introversion-ambiversion-extroversion as a scale separate from mbti. Gaining energy from people/ from oneself doesn't always seem hugely connected to functions. I always see threads like "reserved ENTP or outgoing INTP?" It makes sense that people want to clearly determine their mbti type because that gives them a clearer understanding of their own identity, but I don't think the E-I scale always makes such a big difference in mbti. It's not like one is trying to choose between INFJ and INFP, and all the functions are different; it's the same functions in a slightly different order :p I'd put Ni before Fe if I had to choose, but I'd rather describe myself as an ambivert.
 

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Go hiking with them.

Get drunk with them.

Be with each other when either of your lives are tearing apart.

There, you know everything you need to know about them. And also go out for walks with them, the accumulative things you find that you'll talk about provide such a deep insight into an ENFJ mind. When it is calm and quiet, expect our thoughts to just run free from our mouths.

Anyways, I feel that an ENFJ would be drawn to INTPs due to your natural curiosity, and demeanour. Impersonal logic, philosophical nature, and childlike sense of fun to name a few more. I've been fanboying over your type for quite some time in mah head haha.
 

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Ahhh...I so love love love this response, Eggsies. The first three sentences were so beautifully simple, and quite all encompassing. We need a safe energy to express the deepest parts of ourselves. That takes time, and quality time. Lovely, lovely.
 

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I really have enjoyed most of the INTPs I have met as well. Also, my dad's an ENTP and we're super close. :]

I have a close INTP male friend, and the only issue I have is I wish he would call or say hi once in awhile. I don't see him much anymore, but I've always appreciated his friendship.
 
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