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I see threads a lot asking for tips on how to get over someone, and recently I heard about a friend of a friend's situation which inspired me to post this thread for everyone to share their tips/advice on how to get over a breakup. I will post one of my old entries on the topic to kick it off:

Well, here is how I handle it. And yes, it absolutely devastates me, but I have a method that seems to work. Firstly, I need to know -why- it ended. None of the vague, wishy-washy, cowardice, but a truthful answer. This will allow me to pick up all the pieces, and put them into a box, label it, and put it away. If I -know- what it is, then theres no reason to keep reopening it in my mind, going back over and over to try to make sense of it all.. it all merges into one powerful truth. This truth is now written in my psyche, and I mute all of the chatter. The chatter no longer matters. There is no reason to check his facebook profile anymore for answers, or send him a drunken IM pleading that he explain anything. Its all explained. (Now what sucks is when they learn what I do here, and try to complicate it and work their way back in, instilling doubt. Fuckers.)

Now that I have put it all away, and have stopped picking through the pieces, it begins to fade. Some visualization also helps. I had one absolute nightmare of a time getting over someone once because he planted these little bombs in the foundation and structure of our relationship the whole time, that he detonated once I wanted to call it quits. I will not go into detail because it hurts too much to recall it. But he did terrible things the entire time, just to feel like he had some footing, some control. After I left, he would try to come back and say he had lied about it. Then later he would say that he had not lied about it. This dragged out for months until I was so mentally unstable that I collapsed on my bathroom floor having blacked out from a panic attack. He completely removed my own footing on reality at this point. It took more effort to box this one, because there was no way of knowing what was real and what was a lie. I determined he was all a lie, I never knew him, and he had been faking his entire personality the whole time (which actually ended up being quite true).

The way I got past this was through lots of visualization. I found a fantasy map. It was one of those with lots of hills, lakes, rivers, islands.. very lovely, very vast.. After I disposed of anything that reminded me of him (including lotions that I'd had around that time) I started to envision that everything that happened between us took place on a particular part of that map. I poured all of the nastiness into it. I then imagined myself leaving it all behind in the middle of the night. There was nothing left to say. I packed my things and I boarded a ship, then I traveled across some land.. I boarded another ship. The journey I visualized, in detail, and I ended up far, far away, alone, in a nice cottage, with a lovely garden, in a place that he could never find me - a place he would never know of. He couldn't hurt me anymore.

I did not give in and contact him first. If you do, its like hitting a reset button, which I realized with a previous ex. Then you have to start the process of getting over them all over again. A voice, a smell.. all of these things trigger that brain chemistry that was causing an addiction to them in your mind. Only removing yourself and not looking back will assure that you don't relapse.
So, post your tips, stories on what worked. and if theres enough good advice I can consider stickying it for those who come here looking for help moving on after a heart-break.
 

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My bad break up sounds like it was a different scenerio, because I was the one doing the breaking, but it still, nonetheless, affected me for a long time.

I was in a mentally/emotionally abusive relationship for 6 years, from the time I was 16 to 22. He was extremely controlling. I have always been one of those 'strong minded' people that would never allow themselves to be put in such a position, but it happened very slowly and in calculated steps. In the beginning I was very pleased with the relationship, and of course I was very young so I guess you could call it puppy love. Fast forward 6 years later and I was engaged to a person who emotionally beat me down whenever he could, especially in front of other people. I had one girl-friend who I was allowed to see 2 times a month, for a certain amount of hours, and had to be home at a certain time. He also alienated me from my family, telling me lies that they had said about me, or putting pictures in my mind that they didnt care about me, and were unhealthy. (Which is not entirely untrue) I was expected to work 3 jobs and go to school, clean and cook, for the majority of the relationship while he sat around on his fat ass playing videogames and telling me how bad my cooking was. (along with everything else of course) He sexually abused me, not by physical force, but if I did not give him a blowjob and swallow, with no reciprocation, he would tell me that he didnt really feel like I loved him.

I stayed in that relationship for so long because I believed the good in him. I believed he had a good heart, and that would shine through with time and effort on my part. Also, my age mixed with such a slow change from good to bad, I believed thats just how things were in any relationship, and I put forth so much effort for so many years to try to "fix" the relationship. Also, whenever I did fight back (which was often) he would break down in tears and say he felt so bad for how he acted and he really did love me so much, he was just a bad person and I deserved better. He was basically appealing to my Fe side (manipulation) because of course once that happened I assured him we would work on it together and that he was not a bad person, and that I would support him while he went through his "hard time"

That was such an easy out for him. Playing on and using my vast ability to love and forgive.

Once I finally woke up and broke up with him, he manipulated that friend I was never allowed to see into believing that I had said nasty things about her, which really he was the only one who said bad things about her. So she and I didnt talk for about 7 months. He also cried to her every day about how much he loved me and how he wanted me back so badly, so he painted me out to be the bad guy. I am not manipulative, so I did not reciprocate that although I could have. It would have been easy, but I am just not that kind of person.

Now pretty much everyone knows how he is, and dont really hang out with him anymore. His guy friends were my friends too, and he told them lies as well, but they all see through it now.



What made me wake up and realize it was time to go was our group of friends were going to a park one day to go cook out and just be in nature, I really wanted to go, and he said no. I dont know why, its one of the first times I was just like......no.....Im going. He was pissed but I just didnt care anymore. Enough is enough. I went, and actually found out that all my friends were really happy to have me there. I had a great time. I was so happy. The next morning back at home was one of the most depressed Ive ever been. I glimpsed a little bit of freedom, then went back home to him. I knew I had to get out.


It was the hardest thing Ive ever done. I had to leave my house, my dogs, his family (which had taken me in) were terrible to me afterwards. All the friends I thought would be there were gone, I was homeless, confused, and had nothing to show for the last 6 years of my life.

He is a born-again christian now, and realized that "all the effort he was putting into me and our relationship, he should have been putting into the lord" All his facebook posts are scripture and Im not sure why it bothers me so much. I hate him even more for it. I guess its because he is the worst person I know alive, and hes going into ministry? God help us all. Literally.

Its been almost a year and a half now, and it really took a good 8 months to get settled into myself before I really started to feel normal again. I had to build everything back up, and that was really tough. Now my life is amazing, I live for me and my close friends who reciprocate my love, and are as selfless as I am. I have a wonderful SO who was with me through the entire thing and has never judged me for being weak or insecure at times. I enjoy my freedom every day. I am in school, and I got my dog back, and we live happily by ourselves in my home.

The thing I was scared of most was being alone. Or feeling alone. Or that I was making a mistake. Dont be scared. Move forward. One day at a time and the mantra is every day you get a little stronger. Each step you take that is painful, you get stronger. You may not feel it at first, but all those little tiny steps and leaps of faith begin to add up, and one day you wake up and you feel....good. You feel strong. You feel like you might get through it. Every step forward you take is one you will never have to take again. One day, one hour, one step at a time. Just do it.

You wont realize it at the time, but even your weak moments are making you a stronger, healthier, happier person. Dont give up :)
 

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A failed relationship is always a mutual failure. ALWAYS. Even if the other person was next to Satan as a romantic partner (and @zomberlover 's partner sounds close) it's still incumbent upon you to figure out what you did or failed to do which contributed to the failure of that relationship, the why, the how and then when of that failure.

I say that as someone who got cheated on by my ex-wife- I had a great amount of responsibility for the problems we had before and after that. It would be easy for me to villify her but that would be a cop out. There'd be no growth for that and chances are I'd just repeat many of the same mistakes.

I'm wired to obsess over tragedies in my life. It's a combination of mourning and analyzing. It's all bundled into one lump. Unlike other personality types who, I think, try to push themselves out of the funk by fighting against it and pushing their head back up above the water, the way I get out of it is by going out through the bottom of it. By this I have to just experience the down period in its full awful glory until it's all worn out, embrace the pain until it's just gone. That's the time when I'm thinking and analyzing what happened, and I think it's just my automatic way of getting motivated to avoid what got me to that point the next time.

There's no clear finish line, I'll just notice over time that I'm moving on.

Also, times of crisis like this are notoriously linked to harmful behavior. Somehow I had the presence of mind when I found out about my ex-wife's affair to decide then and there that I would stop drinking alcohol. I just felt I needed to keep a clear head, as intensely as the situation hurt of course.

Other things apply here too:

You're depressed. You are. It may be mild, it may be severe, it may be short or long term, but you're depressed. Regardless, depression's greatest ally is your isolation. Talk about yourself and your situation with someone, and hopefully a couple of people. No, you aren't going to be that guy who's crying in his beer at a bar with his buddy, or the girl who's a sobbing mess in her comfy sweater on her friend's sofa - you just got to talk. This allows you to make sense of it, and if you've got a severe problem like major depression or some other warning sign, your friend (or sibling, or therapist) can help you identify that and respond appropriately.

Get behavioral. Do things that will help you feel better. Yeah, the dozen donuts will taste great, until about 1 minute after you finish the last one and feel like Jabba the Hut. Eat healthy, sleep right, get physically active. These are all things that give your body a lift. In my case I was so upset and had so much anxiety, I simply HAD to work it off, so I started working out. It had nothing to do with my masculinity being threatened even though there had been an affair, and everything to do with simply needing to work off that mountain of stomach-churning stress and angst I was feeling every minute of every day, and never even really letting go during those all-too-short hours I was sleeping. It's not about being Mr. or Ms. Olympia, it's just about lifting yourself out of a rut, and it DOES work. As it turned out for me, I noticed over the course of the next six months the trend that I grew emotionally stronger during the crisis while my ex grew emotionally weaker - she had done absolutely nothing to change her routine and the crisis wore her down over time.

Last but most important - if it's a major relationship and/or a traumatic break up, it's going to hurt for a while. Let it. It's how you grow if you let yourself learn from it. But also know that things will get better if you allow them to in your own time and you learn the lessons you need to learn.
 

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^^^ This. Exactly. My dad did the same thing after my parents divorce (got more into being healthy and physically fit) and it took years for him but hes happier now than Ive ever seen him.

You HAVE to let yourself feel the pain. Go through it, run through it if you have to, but its part of the process. And if you dont deal with it now, it will come back to bite you in the ass at some point. Everyone is different, but for me the pain was essential to the breakthrough.
 

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These posters brought up some good tips, especially about health. Keep exercising and do not resort to alcohol. Below I will present some general tips for handling a breakup.

While it is good to rationalize the demise of a relationship, I would advise against continuously over-analyzing the possible causes if you cannot make sense of your relationship. This leads to psychological distress and complicates your problems rather than solving them. Learn what you can from this to improve future relationships or prevent them from escalating into something worse.

Do not lie to yourself. You'll know when you are lying to yourself when that feeling of self-denial starts rattling inside you like a caged beast. Too many times I've encountered people recovering from divorces trying to hate their ex's and saying things like, "It was never true love!" This causes conflicting feelings and unnecessarily prolongs the painful hangover of a breakup. Listen, the conclusion of a relationship does not necessarily imply that your relationship was one fat joke. Often times, many external factors to the relationship are contributors as well and are beyond the involved parties' control. It is in your best interest to accept the conclusion and move on.

Keep in mind that no one is going to get over anything they had an emotional connection to overnight. So, while this temporal state of depression sucks, know that it is natural and that you will get over it. To close off, make sure you get support from close friends and family during this phase.
 

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I've always dealt with breakups by doing the following:

1. Acknowledge it Hurts

I retreat into my shell. I don't want to be with people physically, so I'll use my phone to bug the hell out of my friends, discuss the fact that it hurts and giving myself the time to grieve a little. I've never enjoyed having to break up with anyone, and I certainly don't enter into relationships planning to end them. I'll allow myself to resent them, and vent my spleen about how ungrateful they were, or how sorry they'll be when they're [insert pitiful end]. I don't drink very heavily as a result, but I do party hard on the weekends, and I relish my freedom. I can do all the things I like doing without any objection etc.

2. Stop apportioning blame

We broke up, I wasn't doing it for her, she wasn't doing it for me. Therefore, we are both at fault. It's no use being bitter and resentful, because it was a two way street. I acknowledge the mistakes that I made, and learn to not make them again. I also get to refine and deeper understand my principles and values, this reassessment period is invaluable to making a future relationship work. At this point, I begin to see the relationship for what it was, rather than dwelling on the good times and the bad. I reassess where I am, and reaffirm that I am me, and I am a great catch for she who does get the privilege of catching me (I'm not a total narcissist, promise).

3. Find my confidence

I use my pent up energy (I'm not really a one night stand person) to get better at my hobbies. I focus my time behind my drum kit, or tending to my bonsai forest. After my last breakup I took up Kendo, something I always wanted to, and discovered that I really enjoy it. These activities help me to build my self-worth and I remember that I'll be all right in the end. I remember my strength and realise just what I can offer the world.
 

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1. Pick yourself back up and get your head screwed on straight.
2. Smile knowingly to yourself that he/she lost their chance with you.
3. Never forget the mishaps of past relationships. Those relationships did not work for a reason.
 

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Watch every episode of "How I Met Your Mother." Hang out with friends, because your supposed to. Do stupid shit all day like play in traffic. Go back home and finish "How I Met Your Mother."

It would have been a better story if I had my license at the time.
 

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I recently came out of a relationship. We broke up 4-5 times before I finally broke the cycle and ended it for good. Things were amazing at first, but she got anxious about everything and the fun started to leave everything. She started pulling me in close, getting needy and insecure and when I got supportive she'd switch to pushing me away, breaking up, nit-picking all my flaws, comparing me derisively to her ex.

Bleh. Anyhow, I'm still not all the way through my situation, but I'm close to good.

I find that when, in love, I develop a kind of tunnel vision. When I visualize my future, when I visualize fun, food, anything, it's always in relation to them. The more they're in my head, the worse it gets.

To break this tunnel vision, I need to shake myself out of it. I remembered back to a time when other women broke my heart, and the other times I was in love. It helped pull me out of that subjective world and helped me see the "plenty of fish" angle.

Next, I accepted that things shouldn't have gone differently. They went exactly as they went, and for a very particular set of reasons. So I chucked all the shoulda/coulda/woulda bullshit. There's only this one world and these things happened for a reason.

Next, I looked at the upsides of the breakup. What did I learn? How did I improve?

My friends have been invaluable. I force myself to seek out company whenever possible, that support, listening ears, and the liberating distraction.

Finally, I had to learn to love myself again. I started working out, eating right, I learned how to cook more things (cooked myself steak and prepared one hell of a salad), I started writing again, I began to listen to Philip Pullman His Dark Materials on Audiobook.

Now, I'm forcing myself into the acceptance stage. I want to genuinely wish her well as an individual, rather than as being connected to me and I know that I deserve to be happy too. It's only been a week or so, but I feel the wounds healing up.
 

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I don't have advice so much as some questions. I'm sorry for the detail and the length to follow, but I haven't had anyone to talk with about this, therefore, I have not come up with a succinct version of the story.

My relationship of two years recently came to an end after a huge fight I had with my SO. For about three years I had been doing opiates semi-regularly, but during the last few months it became an everyday thing and quickly turned into an element of hell in my life. Anyway, I started waking up still high, but feeling hungover and also like I was about to go into withdrawal- which somehow prompted me to wake up in a sort of opiate rage state that I could manage on some days but on others I'd completely lose my shit. This is what happened the day we had our relationship ending fight and I ended up storming out of our house.

About a week went by where we didn't see each other during which she went to a music festival for a four day ecstasy bender with an ex-fuck buddy of hers. When she came back her emotional demeanor to had flipped completely and she seemed to feel like she had towards me for her friend very suddenly.

Anyway, we finally hung out to discuss things and she wanted to end things. A few weeks went by which were awful beyond my ability to describe (I didn't know it was possible to hurt that much) and then we got together to hang out with our mutual friends. We ended up going back to her place and did a fairly strong session of psychedelia together, in which we explained our feelings for each other, why things didn't work, and reaffirmed how much we meant to one another in a sort of spiritual (campy sounding, I know), essence-related way (She's an ENTJ while I'm an INFP, if that clarifies anything). We made love and spent the next week together discussing what we wanted to do with our lives individually and explaining our situations since the break up but otherwise not being sexually intimate. She had been seeing her friend (whom I've always admired for his innate beauty as a person) and he was pissed when he found out we had been hanging out so we kept our distance from each other for a few days.

That was about three weeks ago, and since we have not been apart or at odds. We've slept in the same bed and been physically (though not sexually) affectionate to a point. I'm kind of at a loss as to what is going on or what to do about the situation because we've had some difficulty expressing ourselves over highly emotional matters concerning our friendship, she is hesitant to reciprocate affection if it exceeds a certain point (kissing and cuddling are allowed, but not intensive forms of either), she becomes distant whenever texting her friend (which I don't snoop about- she tells me about it, and which I have clarified to her and him that I am perfectly okay and even pleased [it makes her happy in some very healthy ways] with their dynamic), and any time I ask her if she would like space or for me to spend a few days elsewhere she responds; "No, you're not an imposition and it makes me happy when you're around. I've had a hard time being alone and not in a healthy struggle kind of way. I would much rather be around you and have you around." Further, where she had previously been noticeably happy whenever I was verbally affectionate, now she is more removed from it and it doesn't seem to affect her very much.

There are probably some important details I'm just not thinking to mention right now, and if elaboration or clarification is needed I can provide them. Mostly, I've been really happy with our being friends in this way (We dated once before for a few months, then were really good friends for a few years), but I feel somewhat scared of trying to address where we are going with things in a definitive way because I'm flat out very confused with where we are at and what's going on. The night we had our fight I was unnecessarily cruel and broke a few of my own things on my way out the door so I'm partially wondering if my behavior that night just broke a lot of her trust with me. Or, if her ecstasy trip with her friend ended up causing some kind of transferring of her feelings for me elsewhere and onto him (we had been planning to do the same thing together so the association in her mind of doing such-and-such with her SO may have defaulted to the only present guy when she did such-and-such- unlikely and a longshot, but like I said; I'm confused). Could it be that I'm on some sort of parole period and she's evaluating me for a certain amount of time (doesn't seem like her, or people in general, because she's not manipulative, but she is elaborate in many ways)? Or is she just as lonely and broken up by things as much as I am and my being around helps us both?

Before this relationship I never really allowed anyone to access my core being nor did I allow for myself to commit to any of my relationships (which were, therefore, brief and followed the format; infatuation, ideation, stagnation, boredom, cessation) so all of the cognitive facilities I ever developed for thinking rationally about my romantic/marital situations are inapplicable here. As such, I can't think clearly through anything and the breakup alienated me from a lot of my former friends for various reasons and I've had no one to run through the situation with (for instance- my best friend is an INTJ and I've always relied heavily on him for rational input, but he refuses to discuss the situation because, as he put it; he finds my ex very attractive, is inclined to be in favor of our separation as such and therefore cannot reliably offer an unbiased opinion).

Again, I'm sorry for the amount of detail when I'm so new and don't know anyone and also for the length of my post. I just can't think this out and it would be really helpful to me if anyone can offer any insights on what's going on or suggestions for what I might do. Especially any other INFPs or ENTJ females who could offer some information on what could (conceivably) be going on with my ex-SO.

Thank you, in advance, for any feedback.

EDIT

And, I do know and intend to discuss this with her. Communication and all that. More so I'm just hoping to get some feedback and perspective beforehand.
 

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I deal with a breakup by finding some measure by which the relationship (and thus all the time I spent on it) was valuable. I hate wasting my time, and the feeling of wasting what I perceive to be sizable portions of my life on someone is probably the worst one that results from a breakup.

The answer for me is to learn from the experience in a meaningful way. It's the same concept as a sunk cost in business. The only thing sunk costs are good for is learning how to avoid sunk costs. Once I convince myself that I have actually become a better, more aware person, I'm fine. That takes time.

If I do miss the person (believe me, even we Te-doms experience this occasionally), it doesn't take long for me to remember why I'm better off on my own.
 

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I have dealt with my last break-up by shutting that area of my psyche like a flooded compartment on a ship. The "high" (relationship) does not justify the "comedown" (break-up). This is true reguarding other relationships as well. I do not intend to make more friends or involve myself in any more of my families life than i already do untill for what ever reasons i am all thats left in my life.

I guess i deal with it by avoiding it.
 

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@JudeGrey: I can't really tell you what is happening for sure, but ETJ people are typically pretty WYSIWYG, you don't have to beat around the bush with them or "decipher" what they mean all the time. Take them at face value.

Based on your story, it sounds like you have been shifted back into "dear friend" status. She doesn't need you as a lover right now, for whatever reason; she's just getting her life stable and grounded; she's capable of wanting you in her life as someone she feels close to, but that isn't necessarily as a couple. She's acting exactly how she feels, there's nothing to decipher.

I think you're INP'ing the whole thing right now, but that's really not a great way to figure out an ETJ, and you're getting lost in what could be happening. I think your safest bet, especially with you trying to figure out your life and feeling vulnerable, is to read it at face value and decide what you need to do next to take care of yourself.
 
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I believe I already posted this quote somewhere in the ENFP forum, but as I was recently dealing with a breakup, this is the one statement that really stood out to me more than anything else out of all the pages and pages of things I read in an attempt to make me feel better. It might be of some help to someone else.

"I believe, deeply and fully, that the breakup of my first serious relationship is the most important thing that has ever happened to me in the course of my life. Not the best, not the happiest, not the most fortuitous. The most important.

Here's why: While we were together, I thought that this was it. I figured this was the person I was supposed to fall in love with, I'd found him and he'd found me, and now we just had to navigate the next couple of years of our lives together and then we'd get married and then we'd have babies and then it would be forever. When we broke up, I thought the entire plan was ruined. No marriage. No babies. No life-long love. No dying in each other's arms.

But then it started to dawn on me — and maybe this is trivial, maybe this is something you already deeply understand, but for me it was absolutely life-altering to articulate this of my own accord — that just because one love was over, it didn't mean I would never have another love again. This didn't materially become real to me until I had actually fallen in love with someone else again, but once it hit me, it hit hard. That second love ended under awful, dire circumstances and even though the relationship was longer (3+ years) and was way more mature (serious pre-marriage talk), it took me way less time to get over it. Because I knew — from experience now — that I would fall in love again. And even more importantly, someone else out there would fall in love with me.

I wish there was some way for me to hardwire into your brain and let you know that the most important thing we can learn from our first loving relationship is that we can love and we can be loved. Not that this is your true love, or that this is your best relationship, or that just because this is the happiest you had been that this is the happiest you'll have ever been. Only that you can love, and you can be loved. And you will be able to call on your abilities to love and be loved as many times as necessary until you are loving and loved by someone who proves to be, over years and decades, a person worth loving and being loved by continually."
 

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First serious breakup - realized that this person had no true interest in me. Hurt for a month, then put it aside when I realized that I was wasting my life and emotions on someone who really didn't give a toss. Was surprised a year later when she came back to me, didn't take long to realize that it was exactly the same dynamic though: I was simply a man-shaped vibrator to her. Walked away and put her out of my mind immediately, was surprised when she came whinging back to me a month later (I'd already forgotten her). Shrugged it off and got on with my life. A year later she came back, however my non-interest was palpable and utterly plain.

Breakup of my marriage - realized that this person was a serial cheater who had fallen out of love with me, we divorced. Took six months to start sorting myself out and realize that she had NPD tendencies, PerC has been a part of that sorting-out. Generally okay with it, have had as little contact as possible.

Crazy girl who pushed her luck relationship-wise when I was emotionally and physically exhausted - walked away from her, then became physically ill. She pursued despite a few "f- off and die" things from me (wasn't very tolerant at the time). Eventually I broke off all contact, didn't bother to respond to phone/text, stuff like that. She's stopped (for the moment).

It appears that for me, cutting them out of my life asap is the way to go. Perhaps it has to do with being an ISTJ.
 

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Another big thanks to @viva :).
That really is wonderful.
It helped me to see that the emotions in the relationship and the breakup were very real. I'm struggling with the fact that just "occupying" your mind only helps to a certain extent after a while. A breakup of a serious relationship is a very real life altering event.

What is helping me is the idea of "Let it be" instead of "Let it go".

Sorting yourself out, as Yardiff Bey has put it, and really being okay with what happened, as the quote puts it, is a long process though.
 

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I did exactly this. It took quite some time but I did it. I was far away from home for work and to get my life back in order when I got an e-mail that our relationship was over. I'm not sure I'll ever really get over her and the loss, but I was terribleto her at times and she got me so wrong sometimes. Icouldn' understand how this woman I loved so dearly misunderstood me so much and said I misunderstood her al of the time. When I would ask for us to get through the issues and comminucate together, she'd fly away to some friend's house and that pissed me off. If I voiced that I was called controlling. the last thing I would want is to tell my gf what to do, what to say, how to feel and who to see. So I indeed had a lot of stuff to work on, thinking we'd makt it together, but I was wrong. I was so depressed by thinking about it all the time that the way to get over the depression was to get myself into a dangerous line of work. Nothing will get your mind off your ruined relationship than a job where if you screw up, you die.

I busied myself in work, made new friends, worked on all my negative behaviour that led to the break up and made myself a better person and more appealing for my next relationship.
 
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