Anyone interested in shootin' the sh!t?
I think this is really important to mention. With my last SO, I forgave the wrongdoing done to me and I accepted her decision to leave me, as I loved her so much to respect what she needed right.A break up is harder to get over if you don't know the reasons someone broke up with you. I think we can agree it's easier to get over a break up you initiated, even if swallowing the idea of a failed lover, or a sunk cost emotional investment is hard.
Argh, that was my last breakup, and that's not easy.How to deal with feeling guilty for breaking up with someone who is a good, caring individual?
Good break up story here. I dated a girl for a few months, kind of against my awareness, but she is a nice girl. We have known each other and been friends for years, and she's been trying to flirt for years without me noticing. Issue is, I wasn't in love while she was. We got together without really talking about it when we met up. It lasted like 3 months max, the time I realized that I was staying with her because of both the sex and not wanting to lose the friendship. I broke up with her, told her that. She did seem like she would have a hard time with it, and in the end, she's been holding up much better than I would have in her situation. She's the one to have asked me to keep interacting with her, even in the beginning, just so she doesn't feel like I'm dropping her like a wet sock. Sounded like a bad idea but fine by me. Nearly instantly, we were back on friendly terms. I know she still has feelings, she knows I still don't. She's a little afraid of engaging conversations with me, like I'm intimidating or something, and if we do talk on a daily basis, and if on my end I don't bite, I don't give her ground for something more to develop either. I think that's the key to make it work in such a context (no resentment) : don't give ground for more to develop/keep developing, that's up to the person who doesn't feel for the other to do that, not the other way around.Anybody have any good break up and back together stories? Whether or not they worked out, looking for a good story here.
Repeat in your head, as many times as you need to : "I've hurt him". Let that sink in.I feel like my ex is using all of the distractions mentioned here to forget about me. I literally begged him to at least stay friends with me (I hurt him pretty bad so he didn't want to talk to me at first) and eventually he agreed. So I was texting him a few times a week to check up on him, being as nice and supportive as possible because I know he's stressed with work and applications/entry exams for some grad schemes but he just talks to me as if I'm an acquaintance now. He always says he's busy and that he doesn't feel relaxed when he talks to me, but the last time we spoke he said he's sorry he's busy he'll message me on the weekend. So I decided to stop messaging him first to see if he notices that I'm giving him space but he hasn't messaged me. And I saw he's posted on instagram but he's on private so I can't see what he posted.
I just feel like he's moved on already and I'm waiting for a text or phonecall from him that's never actually going to come. I spend literally all day thinking about him, I can't even focus at university in classes because I'm just hoping he'll message me.
I don't know if he uses work/exams as an excuse to get rid of me or if he is genuinely busy and might speak to me when he's finished with all that stuff (by next month probably). But by then I just think he won't feel anything for me at all.
How can I stop myself from thinking about him so obsessively every day? It is really impacting my whole life, I was already severely depressed before the break up but I feel like this break up is one of the reasons why I'm focusing even less in university classes and it also seems to be ruining my relationship with my mother (Who I'm normally very close to and she relies on me a lot as she is quite lonely too and also suffers from depression amongst other issues). I just want to fall asleep in classes, I don't take anything in, then I go home and just want to sleep. I don't want to socialise or dress nice anymore. I don't know how to get past this. I have never taken a break up this badly before, I am always the one who picks themselves up again and within a week I've got my confidence back and started talking to someone new. But I was with him for 1 year and really saw a future with him, and it's been 2 months now and I'm just feeling worse each day and more scared that he's started to see someone new.
He is ENFP by the way and I'm ISFJ
I agree, with Lonewaer here.Repeat in your head, as many times as you need to : "I've hurt him". Let that sink in.
From there, he doesn't owe you a reason to not want to talk to you. Maybe he's moved on, maybe he didn't. You don't know, and it's not your business. By the way, when he will have moved on, he won't want to talk to you, at all. You should move on, too, go hang out with your friends. Do what you need to to get better, and reflect on your mistakes, on what you've done to hurt him.