I loved your quote from Jung, "The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle the light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." When I read that my Ni sparkled in anticipation of a deeper understanding.
When we feel hopelessly lonely we feel as if we have lost our meaning. To say that we deserve lonely then, is a little bit like saying we do not deserve meaning. This thought is a little troubling. But I don't think you meant it like this.
Sleep is a great example here. We can say we deserve sleep, however, it would be hard to say anyone deserves to be bedridden. We may love being alone at times, but no one loves a deep feeling of loneliness. Just as being bedridden can be a product of a chronic pattern of too much sleep. Loneliness can be the result of spending too much time alone.
If good advice to someone bed ridden would be to get out of bed and move around (even though its hard at first), then my advice to someone struggling with intense loneliness would be to start interacting with positive people (even though it seems extremely difficult). Meaningful relationships take time to build. In order to obtain the joy of more meaningful ones, we must start by being content with engaging in less meaningful interactions with the understanding that we are building something that takes time. This starts with trust. Very much like the bedridden patient trusting that getting out of bed and wearing him/herself out will eventually help regain strength.
I hope that I can quote a scripture without being perceived as evangelizing or being inconsiderate to those of a different faith, but I do think that St. Paul was getting at something big when he said, "These three things remain: faith, hope, and love." A more accurate translation would be trust, hope, and love. We must take that first step to trust others and let them into our lives and we cannot do this in any meaningful way without first trusting ourselves and our ability to overcome the short term let downs. Hope is taking the long term view. It comes from understanding the complexities of a situation and the knowledge that it will work out in the long run. Building meaningful relationships is a Marathon, not a sprint. And obviously love, the greatest gift of all which gives us our true meaning and a desire to help others and be their candle. The INFJs I know do not lack this last one. Your intense compassion and love is your greatest ally here.
I suspect that the feeling of being hopelessly lonely for some INFJs comes a lot from a tendency to recreate past environments in an effort to trigger the same type of Ni activity that led to their meaningful revelation. I've noticed a lot of INFJs stressing themselves out trying to relive the past when your natural tendency should be future oriented. Yes, we can draw meaning from our past. I understand that it seems more meaningful and easier to go back than to take the time, effort, and discomfort in building new meaningful connections. However I encourage those who are lonely to use your great capacity to love and desire to help others to your advantage to inspire you to get out of your shell. ;-)
Thanks bengelcat. I liked your comments as well, I would have tried to share my thoughts on different types of loneliness but, I prolly wrote too much already.
The least stupid thread I've seen, ever.
@bubbleboy
I think people need a witness. Need someone to see, hear, touch them. I agree with Jung in his thought: "The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being."
To me, loneliness can be the perception of no candle. It is a leitmotif in my life.
How extreme has it been for me? "I don't want to be lonely, but I AM lonely" erodes after a while. That thought is hard to maintain for long. Thus it becomes "I deserve lonely" all too easy. What that does, did, and may do for me, is to stop conflict in the easiest way possible: by succumbing to the negativity. If I deserve it, then I am flowing not as a rock that parts the stream, but as the river uninterrupted. In not wanting lonely, but being lonely, I create tension - thus this relieves it. This is a perspective that a more mature introspect may be able to solve gloriously. ..... .