Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,125 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I came across a blog that was being really insensitivity about looks. And I just went off in the comment section. I couldn't take it you know? I'm sure I'm gonna get flamed, but I didn't care. It hurt because I knew the blogger not in real life but she and I talked a couple times because in her blog I was dealing with a issue she was discussing (depression). I felt betrayed in a way, how could she help me? Then say all these horrible things about other people who she thought were unattractive. Thing was though it was her husband! Who I found she cheats on him. Makes fun of him for having ED. Everybody was supporting her, "if he can't please you gotta cheat" men and women were saying this. I told her stop being a coward and settle your problems or get a divorce. There was more things I said that pretty nasty, but she deserved it.


I felt a rush of extreme anger, my sensitivity, anxiety and empathy were going crazy. I hate it when people are insensitive. I was hanging out with some people I know, and they were making fun of a guy we all know who has epilepsy. Now he's a really strange guy and I think he may be slow but he's nice. He doesn't hurt anyone, why make fun? Needless to say I don't hang out with them anymore. Over the Internet I will of course rant and rave but in real life, I just retreat and cry. Although sometimes I fought.

When I hear people being mean like that and not jokingly either I can't take it. My emotions go crazy, it like an overload. I have transcendental experiences, times of nirvana like bliss its like I took drugs, and then when I'm mad or sad its so bad.

God I feel so angry right now. I've heard people start saying stuff like black girls are unattractive, or that guy is stupid, that girl is weird. I feel like killing sometimes seriously. Like in the movie "freaks" where all the sideshow freaks get back and the beautiful people. Or in "fight club" rebelling against the rich. I feel so much angst against society. Seems like all people care about, sex, technology, and just whatever make them happy. But doing the right thing is related to happiness! Not being selfish, having self control, compassion, kindness.

I just want to move away, I live in Southern California and I want to go north - straight to the mountains. I feel physically sick right now.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,873 Posts
Empathy is a good thing. Murderous thoughts may be revenge for your own issues.
People who write and say hurtful things are often insecure, other times are narcissists, and most narcissists are insecure. Dising someone makes them feel for a moment or two superior to whomever they are putting down. But it wears off and they have to find another victim. I once made a difference by telling someone that the agressive harshness was hiding his unique character, and people would like him if they only knew him. So just bear in mind those people are actually feel they are less that those they trash. Life is too short for you to carry such burning anger. It singes your soul.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,125 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Empathy is a good thing. Murderous thoughts may be revenge for your own issues.
People who write and say hurtful things are often insecure, other times are narcissists, and most narcissists are insecure. Dising someone makes them feel for a moment or two superior to whomever they are putting down. But it wears off and they have to find another victim. I once made a difference by telling someone that the agressive harshness was hiding his unique character, and people would like him if they only knew him. So just bear in mind those people are actually feel they are less that those they trash. Life is too short for you to carry such burning anger. It singes your soul.
I guess so. The would be the smart thing to do but don't really know how to not let it get to me. The revenge thoughts aren't something I'd ever do, just something I can't help but think about.
 

·
MOTM August 2012
Joined
·
3,467 Posts
I guess so. The would be the smart thing to do but don't really know how to not let it get to me. The revenge thoughts aren't something I'd ever do, just something I can't help but think about.
Well you have to learn to realize that this isn't about you. It's somewhat altruistic to be empathetic, but you have to learn when not to take something that's not directed at you personally. The momentary good feeling is not worth being dragged through someone else's mud.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,125 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Well you have to learn to realize that this isn't about you. It's somewhat altruistic to be empathetic, but you have to learn when not to take something that's not directed at you personally. The momentary good feeling is not worth being dragged through someone else's mud.
Hmmm, yeah your right. It's just made me so made and I did take it personally. The blogger ended up deleting my comments - which is what I expected. But I felt someone needed to say something.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,649 Posts
You have every right to get mad at cowardly losers like that, and by speaking up you will leave a trace behind. Maybe your words will leave them pondering in the middle of some sinister night when they are confronted with the little self that they are, and gradual change may ensue. I know in most of the cases people don't listen to reason, but there are exceptions. So, you did a good job telling the blogger she was wrong, even if the results may not be visible yet.

Please don't let anger control you. There is nothing good in it except if you use its energy as a driving force to make things better. Drive to spread goodness, as in opposition to all the filth and evil that is being spread every minute. Your anger will upset your mind, body and soul. You know about the blissful "Nirvana" moments, and you surely feel how strongly they affect your entire being. Similarly, negativity does have a power to affect you in horrendous ways.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,125 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
You have every right to get mad at cowardly losers like that, and by speaking up you will leave a trace behind. Maybe your words will leave them pondering in the middle of some sinister night when they are confronted with the little self that they are, and gradual change may ensue. I know in most of the cases people don't listen to reason, but there are exceptions. So, you did a good job telling the blogger she was wrong, even if the results may not be visible yet.

Please don't let anger control you. There is nothing good in it except if you use its energy as a driving force to make things better. Drive to spread goodness, as in opposition to all the filth and evil that is being spread every minute. Your anger will upset your mind, body and soul. You know about the blissful "Nirvana" moments, and you surely feel how strongly they affect your entire being. Similarly, negativity does have a power to affect you in horrendous ways.
Thanks, my comments were deleted and I tried too apologize but she deleted them too - now I'm being mocked by the other posters. How I don't know what I'm talking about and her husband is bad etc. maybe he is - but you spread that stuff around and guys are dealing with problems like him are going to search for advice and find this negativity. If a women is over weight and insecure - search for advice and finds blog about my wife in unattractive because she is over weight. How is at girl going to feel?
Talk to a friend, therapist don't send all that crap on the Internet.

About the anger thing I know, but you see mom did all sorts of nasty things to my dad. My dad is classic old school mexicans you don't talk about anything, hot tempered etc but was always faithful, worked to support us. And she not only treated him like crap but me like crap. She told me I was going to become a rapist. I've never gotten over that. This blogger made me think of my mother by the way she was talking.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
642 Posts
I feel that! If you never feel that, it shows your lack of empathy and your strong moral system. Nevertheless, all you could do is to honestly explain why you think it's wrong and hope she will actually take it in seriously. We can't control people but we can influence towards the right path!
Thus, bravo! That is how you should respond to this :)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,125 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I feel that! If you never feel that, it shows your lack of empathy and your strong moral system. Nevertheless, all you could do is to honestly explain why you think it's wrong and hope she will actually take it in seriously. We can't control people but we can influence towards the right path!
Thus, bravo! That is how you should respond to this :)
Nah I should have responded better, I freaked out. I had the right to say something but it came out crazy. I think it was because I felt emotionally connected, not romantically but like pen pal.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,649 Posts
About the anger thing I know, but you see mom did all sorts of nasty things to my dad. My dad is classic old school mexicans you don't talk about anything, hot tempered etc but was always faithful, worked to support us. And she not only treated him like crap but me like crap. She told me I was going to become a rapist. I've never gotten over that. This blogger made me think of my mother by the way she was talking.
I can't imagine how the injustice toward you and your dad must have hurt you both, but I know for sure that if you don't let go of it, it is you, not the perpetrator, who is going to suffer. Most young people are programmed with all kinds of disgusting, destructive commands from theirs parents.
You don't deserve to carry than burden and those scars, do yourself a huge favor and let it go.
 

·
Registered
INTP 874 sx/sp VLEF melancholic
Joined
·
17,126 Posts
I thought SoCal was accepting of others? You could always come to Seattle.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,125 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I can't imagine how the injustice toward you and your dad must have hurt you both, but I know for sure that if you don't let go of it, it is you, not the perpetrator, who is going to suffer. Most young people are programmed with all kinds of disgusting, destructive commands from theirs parents.
You don't deserve to carry than burden and those scars, do yourself a huge favor and let it go.
Thanks.

I guess I'm really sensitive about people judging others based of looks. I have hypogonadism which affected my pubescent development, deformed knees caps. So I'm not much of the manly man type and have been judge of that - my little sister has even made fun of me. So I'm hyper aware of body shaming and how bad it feels. I attempted suicide over it early this year, so when I hear people make fun of looks I get upset.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,649 Posts
Thanks.

I guess I'm really sensitive about people judging others based of looks. I have hypogonadism which affected my pubescent development, deformed knees caps. So I'm not much of the manly man type and have been judge of that - my little sister has even made fun of me. So I'm hyper aware of body shaming and how bad it feels. I attempted suicide over it early this year, so when I hear people make fun of looks I get upset.
Screw the haters, some of them may be pretty on the outside but inside such people a rotten and stinky as hell. It's actually funny how low they are and how high they think they are standing :proud: And anyway, I believe in divine retribution, so them being all smiley faced and unharmed in this life doesn't invoke many hard feelings in me. But I'm all for doing what is in one's might to stop them from harming others and educating them on the eventual consequences of their thoughtless, egocentric behavior.
 

·
Registered
INTP 874 sx/sp VLEF melancholic
Joined
·
17,126 Posts
Nope, not at all. SoCal has nazi standards, I like the area there is so much to do etc but I felt like I'm in a bad sitcom. I would love to go to Seattle I love cold weather.
You seem like you would fit really well in Seattle. Plus there's lots of awesome jobs up here. You have to learn to live with rain every day though. It's almost as bad as NY.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dvnj22

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,125 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Screw the haters, some of them may be pretty on the outside but inside such people a rotten and stinky as hell. It's actually funny how low they are and how high they think they are standing :proud: And anyway, I believe in divine retribution, so them being all smiley faced and unharmed in this life doesn't invoke many hard feelings in me. But I'm all for doing what is in one's might to stop them from harming others and educating them on the eventual consequences of their thoughtless, egocentric behavior.
Well she is not a very happy person so her divine retribution has already come. I don't really understand looks, or rather the attraction to it as something special. Sure I like super models but I would honestly date a midget. So even though I'm aware its important to alot of people I can't grasp my mind around it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,223 Posts
Just shows your strong sense of morals and good heart. Unfortunately these days people are mocked for having them. Perhaps you could have responded in a different way, but that lady was definitely doing wrong and you were honest to her about it. Try your best not to get so angry okay :) and definitely don't stay angry. Grudges only hurt the people holding them. And I'm sorry about your mom, that sounds horrible for any mother to say that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,245 Posts
To a point, years ago I learned people often seek 'validation' from others; as negative as it sounds, any attention is good attention. These days I tend to ignore such immaturity and ignorance, coming to realise that many people become what they seek (or despise); hollow shells lacking true friendships or wondering souls that 'keep getting' treated the way they treat others as the persistent victims, leaving no option but for them to surround themselves with equally vacuous people or needing to truly change themselves.

Like yourself I have known much needless shaming from others unfit to define another with projective transferences or 'expert attitudes', however this often makes me think of the classic tough guy; put on the biggest show of strength, most often being very scared vulnerable people themselves on the inside (that or lacking confidence in themselves to be seen for their true self).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
784 Posts
You seem like you would fit really well in Seattle. Plus there's lots of awesome jobs up here. You have to learn to live with rain every day though. It's almost as bad as NY.
I second Seattle being awesome. Been living in the city proper for almost four years now. Grew up in the nearby burbs. But come on fellow Washingtonian! It doesn't rain everyday! Everyone always exaggerates that aspect of here. :proud: Though winter does have its fair share of "mist" and cloudy day.

But back to the OP... Yeah, the comments sections online are always full of the most disgusting opinions. People love complaining and blaming people different from them as the reason the world is "going to hell." It would seem most of them cannot see beyond their narrow life experiences and grow empathy. "Well in my town things are like X and I am personally like Y so the whole entire world must be that way too!"

When I see crap like that I usually rant to my boyfriend or mom. Ha.... They help me remember that not all people are pieces of crud.
 

·
Registered
INTP 874 sx/sp VLEF melancholic
Joined
·
17,126 Posts
I second Seattle being awesome. Been living in the city proper for almost four years now. Grew up in the nearby burbs. But come on fellow Washingtonian! It doesn't rain everyday! Everyone always exaggerates that aspect of here. :proud: Though winter does have its fair share of "mist" and cloudy day.

But back to the OP... Yeah, the comments sections online are always full of the most disgusting opinions. People love complaining and blaming people different from them as the reason the world is "going to hell." It would seem most of them cannot see beyond their narrow life experiences and grow empathy. "Well in my town things are like X and I am personally like Y so the whole entire world must be that way too!"

When I see crap like that I usually rant to my boyfriend or mom. Ha.... They help me remember that not all people are pieces of crud.
It rained today.
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Top