[niki]

First of all, is this trait a common problem for INFPs type? (ie: "thinking too much, but then nothing, or rarely anything gets done")

It seriously starts to not only bug me, but at my current age of 30 (soon to be 31 in this August), this trait starts to frustrate and destroy my life & future..

Everytime I am even given some kind of seemingly good opportunities (usually a job, project, or business),
I just tend to blew it off, because I was thinking way too much into the "plus" and "minus" of things (while I actually already knew that almost EVERYTHING, ANYTHING will have its "plus" and "minus"!..) , and also whether I am "capable" or not!.. and as well as whether other people are right when they said "it's useless", "it's just a waste", or even when people said "yes! quick!! take that opportunity niki, you can do it, I believe!" that I unfortunately sometimes (or often!) tend to see even those 'positive' comments now as just that: a mere simple, ignorant FAKE words coming easily from mouth, often without critically examining the opportunity first if it's really doable, or not!

But, as a result, like I said above, I've almost rejected ALL good opportunities/chances (or any 'potential' jobs) that come into my life. and then, as a consequence,...NOTHING gets done. and I'm still a Nobody in this so-called "real-world".

Does any of you INFPs here also can relate?

How can I eliminate this trait?.. can I/we INFPs actually eliminate this trait,..or it's forever inherent as a 'curse' ?..

 

[Cool Jellybeans]

I can most definitely relate to everything that you are saying here and spent a lot of time thinking about this topic. I am an INFP Enneagram Type 3w2. For the most part, privately I am definitely an INFP but, when I go to work, and I have to put my game face on, that's when you see my E-Type 3 come out. Hope this helps.

- First and foremost, do not be so hard on yourself! It's seemingly contradictory to our nature but you need to believe that you are also something to be improved upon. Loving, respecting and investing in yourself is important because of the next point. Start with physical activities like a sport or running or whatever. For me, I chose running because I like to zone off into my own world . I pick a track or treadmill of course because I don't want to get hit by a car xD. But let's move on...

- Attitude. It is hard but you ultimately can control your attitude about things. You see some unachievable goal off to the future and subsequently all the obstacle that lies ahead? Don't be discouraged but if you are turn it into a purpose for yourself. Live in a world of possibilities and believe that you can do anything. In my experience, we can be very stubborn and goal oriented if we make something purposeful somehow. Achieving those kind of aims are also very rewarding as well! Wake up every morning and pump yourself up if you have to.

- Set objectives and goals. Make them purposeful in some way. Write down 33 things that you want to do in this life. No matter how impossible or crazy it sounds. Do include however, much more attainable goals as well. Keep it with you in your wallet or something and look at it everyday! I wrote mine 5 years, I didn't get even half of it done but, for the ones I did check off, it's been memorable and rewarding experiences. Run a half marathon, learn a language, learn to play the piano, start my Masters, travel just to name a few. I still have my crazy ones on the list like climb Everest... Think of it as a contract with yourself. Remember whatever you put on the list YOU MUST DO. Also, for some goals, you can break them out to mini steps, game plans, road to victory etc type of things.

-Do NOT be discouraged by failure, do NOT be discouraged by failure and do NOT be discouraged by failure. You will fail again and again. Do NOT dwell on it but instead make the point to overcome it. You will fail more times than you care to count. But do learn from your successes, be proud of yourself and the work you are doing.

-Live in the moment sometimes and enjoy life! Don't dwell too much in the past or in the future. "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift and that's why they call it the present" Start today!

I hope this helps!

 

[Actionjesus]

This question deserves a long answer, so I hope you'll take the time to read.

Of course you can change this trait in yourself. You chose to be this way, (but it has become compulsive) so of course you can chose to stop.

Your problem lies with trying to understand every potential/future situation to its full, so to go for the option which will benefit you the most. But what is happening is that you never get to a conclusion, and so you end up not picking any option at all, and you stagnate, never getting past your thoughts and taking action.
So why is it that you never seem able to conclude which option best suits you? Because you are trying to deduce information about the future, using the past - and that doesn't work very well. Let me explain to you with an analogy.
Say you had a map of Las Vegas. It's a really nice map, it has all the details pertaining to Las Vegas city and it's geography. Now you are tasked to draw the map of the rest of Nevada, and even the rest of the USA, using only your map of Las Vegas. So you begin drawing outwards from the borders, and for a while you will do alright, because it's mostly desert anyway. But soon you'll have Hoover dam and lake mead, you'll have mountains, and if you go far enough, you'll hit the dang ocean - you could never have expected any of it, by looking at your map of Las Vegas, yet that is what you are trying to do.

There are other facets to this, only important one that I will mention is how trying to qualify every situation into good or bad, will give you a false picture of reality. Of course the above plays into this, but no situation is every purely good or purely bad - you always have a fair share of both, even if it does not seem evident to you, even when you are past it. I would like to explain this with another analogy, which is one of my favorite little stories.

"There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically."Maybe," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.
"Maybe," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.""

What is the lesson here, is that to qualify any of these events, as the neighbors did, is a mistake. As shown, qualifying things only leads to disappointment in one way or another, your expectations can never be satisfied. If you judge an event as bad, and it turns out good, well then you might not appreciate it for just how good it is, likewise if you judge an event as good and it turns out bad, you'll be terribly let down. But why put yourself though all of that? The simplest thing, and in the end the most rewarding thing, is to stop trying to see things as either good or bad. Nothing is that simple. There are no coins with only one side, no mountains without valleys, and no good situations without bad ones.

 

[Plussh]

First of all, I'm not an infp or even a fp, but I think it's very interesting because a lot of people around me like my enfp and intp friends undergo a similar situation, not being able to reach a conclusion and it makes me thought a lot because I ALWAYS reach a conclusion (don't talking about feelings because it's really complicated to me) and so I conclude that don't get a conclusion isn't bad, because even that you don't have a conclusion, you have a lot of points and you can analyze each one, and who knows over time, adquire the ability to conclude some idea, it's like, after an overthinking, put it all on paper. I don't know if I helped somehow but there's already fp's to help you

 

[desire machine]

how to eliminate the "thinking too much, but nothing gets DONE" problem?

one solution is to stop trying to get things done

 

[courageous_soul]

how to eliminate the "thinking too much, but nothing gets DONE" problem?

one solution is to stop trying to get things done

Makes perfect sense...

 

[1whoseeswithoutbeingseen]

The only "curse" I see in effect is your adoption of extroverted, surface-limited, quantitative, assessment standards to evaluate yourself, which leads to you not liking yourself, and is the most common problem I see for soul-oriented types (Fi but also Ti types).

You can alter yourself through your will, but to a limited degree.