Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 99 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,294 Posts
I'd like some tips... ;)
Hmm...? My esfp guy was a bit timid with flirting. Our relationship started out from OkCupid. He sent me a simple message, not even complimenting me. He started his compliments rather slowly (fear of rejection), until he started talking to his sister about me then he gained a bit more confidence. With his words and actions.

I can't speak for ALL ESFPs but I do believe they are timid with feelings and flirting out of fear of rejection. Hell this is coming from an ENTJ, what is there to be feared? my motto is, you win some, you lose some...Its life!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
404 Posts
I can't speak for ALL ESFPs but I do believe they are timid with feelings and flirting out of fear of rejection. Hell this is coming from an ENTJ, what is there to be feared? my motto is, you win some, you lose some...Its life!
This is true for me for women that I really like, but I have no problem seducing random women I don't have feelings for.

How to flirt with an ESFP?
Pretty much how you should flirt with anyone else I think. Show them that you are interested. We won't know unless you show it to us. So smile, move in closer to us and let your inner animal of sexual desire take you over. RWAR! :kitteh:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,294 Posts
This is true for me for women that I really like, but I have no problem seducing random women I don't have feelings for.

How to flirt with an ESFP?
Pretty much how you should flirt with anyone else I think. Show them that you are interested. We won't know unless you show it to us. So smile, move in closer to us and let your inner animal of sexual desire take you over. RWAR! :kitteh:
I like how you mentioned having no problem seducing women you have NO feelings for... Maybe that's why men do certain things women can't bare to understand?...But that's a different story! LOL

To OP, this is very true! An ESFP won't understand you like them unless they are sure its okay to make a move.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,688 Posts
The suspected ESFP I know doesn't flirt... it's weird... he's just kind of, there. He talks to me and tells me about his day and waves to me when I arrive and leave (and then makes a beeline to talk to me lol). Flirting... I got more from the ESTJ than I do from him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
Hm ok, I'm a girl, and I guess you're more interested in finding out how to flirt with an esfp male, but anywaysss...

- Look at me. Like if I catch you looking at me I will notice that you've noticed me and I like that :D

- Smile at me. I love smiles.

- Listen to what I have to say and give at least some respons to it. You don't have to go on talking and talking...I can do most of the talk myself quite easy, if you're shy or something, but only if I feel like you're listening, so you'd have to nodd or say "mhm" "aha" or something once and a while. LOL I sound like an awfully chatty person!!!

-Laugh at my jokes. I love guys who laugh at my jokes:p who doesn't?


-be smart. Just you know, be logical or something. I'm a sucker for anyone who's good at math and physics or chess or whatever.... I deeply admire people who can put feelings aside abit and just reason about something....

...and now here's a tricky one, which I think has more to do with deeper level me and not so much my type....

-be difficult. Make me wait for your text or something. I will go absolutely crazy and get totally obsessed about "getting you" if you seem like you're "ungettable". I don't know why, triggers something inside me, and I'm not proud of it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
Hmm...? My esfp guy was a bit timid with flirting. Our relationship started out from OkCupid. He sent me a simple message, not even complimenting me. He started his compliments rather slowly (fear of rejection), until he started talking to his sister about me then he gained a bit more confidence. With his words and actions.

I can't speak for ALL ESFPs but I do believe they are timid with feelings and flirting out of fear of rejection. Hell this is coming from an ENTJ, what is there to be feared? my motto is, you win some, you lose some...Its life!
I think you are so right about esfp actually fearing rejection very much!!! I am almost patologically flirty, I flirt with everyone and I just can't help it. BUT! When I'm really, really interested in someone, I can get really shy! It's really a problem for me. So then I will flirt with everyone except that person who I really desire. Its' weird.

And also, I always think that people like introvert, shy and cute girls, so whenever I'm interested in someone I will automatically try to behave like that... oh gosh
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,857 Posts
Hm ok, I'm a girl, and I guess you're more interested in finding out how to flirt with an esfp male, but anywaysss...

- Look at me. Like if I catch you looking at me I will notice that you've noticed me and I like that :D

- Smile at me. I love smiles.

- Listen to what I have to say and give at least some respons to it. You don't have to go on talking and talking...I can do most of the talk myself quite easy, if you're shy or something, but only if I feel like you're listening, so you'd have to nodd or say "mhm" "aha" or something once and a while. LOL I sound like an awfully chatty person!!!

-Laugh at my jokes. I love guys who laugh at my jokes:p who doesn't?


-be smart. Just you know, be logical or something. I'm a sucker for anyone who's good at math and physics or chess or whatever.... I deeply admire people who can put feelings aside abit and just reason about something....

...and now here's a tricky one, which I think has more to do with deeper level me and not so much my type....

-be difficult. Make me wait for your text or something. I will go absolutely crazy and get totally obsessed about "getting you" if you seem like you're "ungettable". I don't know why, triggers something inside me, and I'm not proud of it.
I think you are so right about esfp actually fearing rejection very much!!! I am almost patologically flirty, I flirt with everyone and I just can't help it. BUT! When I'm really, really interested in someone, I can get really shy! It's really a problem for me. So then I will flirt with everyone except that person who I really desire. Its' weird.

And also, I always think that people like introvert, shy and cute girls, so whenever I'm interested in someone I will automatically try to behave like that... oh gosh
I see... haha

I've seen a lot of girls behave like the bolded part. I don't get it, lol

Were you talking about "wanting what you can't have" in the part where you say "be difficult"?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
I see... haha

I've seen a lot of girls behave like the bolded part. I don't get it, lol

Were you talking about "wanting what you can't have" in the part where you say "be difficult"?
yes exactly what I meant :) And yes, why the hell do we behave like that??? what's wrong with us??? oh women, can't be one and can't not be one ...ehhhhmmmm *scratches head*
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
No wait, I blame that behaviour on hollywood movies - oh yes!

we must have gotten the idea that men like women like that from somewhere!

Hm one funny thing... I actually have been thinking about myself that I could make anyone fall in love with me. I know that sounds completely weird but I felt like that. Because I feel I can read what different guys want from a girl and I can change into being that girl, it's like playing a role, I know, but I know I can do it and convince anyone. I do the same with different groups of people, I blend in anywhere I want.

Unfortunatly, now I have to change the "make anyone fall in love with me"-part to: "I can make anyone fall in love with me except the one I've fallen for myself"... :'( love hurts buhuuuuu
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,857 Posts
No wait, I blame that behaviour on hollywood movies - oh yes!

we must have gotten the idea that men like women like that from somewhere!

Hm one funny thing... I actually have been thinking about myself that I could make anyone fall in love with me. I know that sounds completely weird but I felt like that. Because I feel I can read what different guys want from a girl and I can change into being that girl, it's like playing a role, I know, but I know I can do it and convince anyone. I do the same with different groups of people, I blend in anywhere I want.

Unfortunatly, now I have to change the "make anyone fall in love with me"-part to: "I can make anyone fall in love with me except the one I've fallen for myself"... :'( love hurts buhuuuuu
You mean like social shape-shifting?
*scratches head* Would you say most ESFPs can do that?
Interesting. That would explain a lot of ESFPs that I've met... Lol

Bold... and I hope you find who's right for you. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
404 Posts
Hm one funny thing... I actually have been thinking about myself that I could make anyone fall in love with me. I know that sounds completely weird but I felt like that. Because I feel I can read what different guys want from a girl and I can change into being that girl, it's like playing a role, I know, but I know I can do it and convince anyone. I do the same with different groups of people, I blend in anywhere I want.

Unfortunatly, now I have to change the "make anyone fall in love with me"-part to: "I can make anyone fall in love with me except the one I've fallen for myself"... :'( love hurts buhuuuuu
Haha, it is also like that for me.

Kind of irresponsible, but I can make pretty much any girl get a crush on me by understanding what she wants, and being exactly that (some girls like tough and dominant guys and I can act like that while other like happy-go-lucky guys, etc).

However, when I really like a girl, I become a complete pussy and become very shy. And when I really like a girl I try to be myself (I don't want her to fall in love with me if I am acting as someone else), then they loose interest.

:laughing: Is the real me really that uninteresting?
 
  • Like
Reactions: sBel90

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
@Agent Blackout I don't know if most esfp can do that, "the social shape-shifing", but I would guess many of us are good at it. It's all about reading people and acting, and generally I think esfps are pretty good at it... I can do pretty much anything "on command" for example cry when I want to, or blush and make people think that I'm a really shy person :p so funny.

After a while of being "in a role" though, I do get a little bit tired of it. I could never have a close relationship of some kind where I had to be someone else then I truly am. I try to be myself as much as possible, I'm not so much into roleplaying anyway... As everyone else I would like to be accepted for who I am.

@Marac somehow it feels good for me to hear that I'm not alone in this "weird behaviour"! I hope for both of us that our real selves arn't that uninteresting and that we just have to find the right person to appreciate us for who we really are.
LOL just a thought, what would happen if the of us would meet? For sure it would be very strange if both of us were trying to read the other person and adapt! Nah, we would just be ourselves I think and probably have fun as friends :DD
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
82 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
This has been helpful... though I fear it may be two minutes too late.. so to speak. But I'll give it another shot...
 
1 - 20 of 99 Posts
Top