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When I'm really, really interested in someone, I can get really shy! It's really a problem for me. So then I will flirt with everyone except that person who I really desire. Its' weird.

And also, I always think that people like introvert, shy and cute girls, so whenever I'm interested in someone I will automatically try to behave like that... oh gosh
My guy told me that people would often wonder why he never really dated. He was always single and just "hanging out". He has told me this before, and it just seems like it has to do more with him not knowing what HE wanted. ESFP people in my opinion, are just people lovers. When they love everyone the question aroses when there is that ONE person they have feelings for..., How do I show I like them differently from others?

flirting is much harder when you have feelings for the person
 

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@Marac
I'm getting the feeling that an ESFP guy likes me now that I've read this thread. I'm an insanely quiet person and I'm usually a bit more serious and I don't hang around very social crowds either but sometimes he will just come talk to me or as me for help with some work and come help me out without me asking for it. We do have conversations but they're no where near as chaotic as the ones he has with other people. He always thanks me sometimes a bit more frequently than I expect from anyone to and he does seem a lot more quiet when he's around me even though he leaves no space between us when he sits next to me (I figure that's a rather normal thing for you to do though, right?) He also talks to me about his thoughts and how his day is going although not very frequently.
I don't know! He confuses me quite a bit and this behavior goes on and off, I'm not sure if he just thinks of me as a good friend or something more.
h.e.l.p. DX
 

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@Marac
I'm getting the feeling that an ESFP guy likes me now that I've read this thread. I'm an insanely quiet person and I'm usually a bit more serious and I don't hang around very social crowds either but sometimes he will just come talk to me or as me for help with some work and come help me out without me asking for it. We do have conversations but they're no where near as chaotic as the ones he has with other people. He always thanks me sometimes a bit more frequently than I expect from anyone to and he does seem a lot more quiet when he's around me even though he leaves no space between us when he sits next to me (I figure that's a rather normal thing for you to do though, right?) He also talks to me about his thoughts and how his day is going although not very frequently.
I don't know! He confuses me quite a bit and this behavior goes on and off, I'm not sure if he just thinks of me as a good friend or something more.
h.e.l.p. DX
I don't know why but I really think he's into you!
 

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I'm getting the feeling that an ESFP guy likes me now that I've read this thread. I'm an insanely quiet person and I'm usually a bit more serious and I don't hang around very social crowds either but sometimes he will just come talk to me or as me forhelp with some work and come help me out without me asking for it. We do have conversations but they're no where near as chaotic as the ones he has with other people. He always thanks me sometimes a bit more frequently than I expect from anyone to and he does seem a lot more quiet when he's around me even though he leaves no space between us when he sits next to me (I figure that's a rather normal thing for you to do though, right?) He also talks to me about his thoughts and how his day is going although not very frequently.
I don't know! He confuses me quite a bit and this behavior goes on and off, I'm not sure if he just thinks of me as a good friend or something more.
h.e.l.p. DX
wow...it hasn't actually sunk in until now been though I've been contemplating over this for ages now O///O I guess I never thought it was possible for someone like him like me.
Would you have any advice on what I could do and what I should avoid?
I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. :crazy: Weird how the extraverted types really dig the introverts, eh? And then once I realize they may really like me, and like me a LOT, then I'm like... really? me? little ol' me? Gawrsh :blushed: It's so wonderful to think I am almost afraid to really believe it!
 

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I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. :crazy: Weird how the extraverted types really dig the introverts, eh? And then once I realize they may really like me, and like me a LOT, then I'm like... really? me? little ol' me? Gawrsh :blushed: It's so wonderful to think I am almost afraid to really believe it!
It's really weird because it's the first time someone I'm interested in likes me back, although I think it's too good to be true so my mind keeps trying to go pessimistic on me and tell me it's not true....maybe I do belong in a loony bin XD

Edit: okay I'm starting to freak out just a little bit 8|
 

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@Marac I'm getting the feeling that an ESFP guy likes me now that I've read this thread. I'm an insanely quiet person and I'm usually a bit more serious and I don't hang around very social crowds either but sometimes he will just come talk to me or as me for help with some work and come help me out without me asking for it. We do have conversations but they're no where near as chaotic as the ones he has with other people. He always thanks me sometimes a bit more frequently than I expect from anyone to and he does seem a lot more quiet when he's around me even though he leaves no space between us when he sits next to me (I figure that's a rather normal thing for you to do though, right?) He also talks to me about his thoughts and how his day is going although not very frequently.I don't know! He confuses me quite a bit and this behavior goes on and off, I'm not sure if he just thinks of me as a good friend or something more.h.e.l.p. DX
I agree with Armika. It seems like he really likes you. I've written this before, but I think ESFPs have two modes (at least I do). There is the extroverted, happy-go-lucky, talk to everyone, mode (Se) then there is this quiet and serious mode where it is more about feelings (Fi). Since I get so much of the first, it is really nice when I can go into the second mode. I think that is the reason I am so attracted to introverted girls.
wow...it hasn't actually sunk in until now been though I've been contemplating over this for ages now O///O I guess I never thought it was possible for someone like him like me. Would you have any advice on what I could do and what I should avoid?
I think it would be a good idea to show him that you like him back. Because if he is into you, he will be really shy (and although ESFPs can seem to have a lot of courage, they are really soft on the inside).
I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. :crazy: Weird how the extraverted types really dig the introverts, eh? And then once I realize they may really like me, and like me a LOT, then I'm like... really? me? little ol' me? Gawrsh :blushed: It's so wonderful to think I am almost afraid to really believe it!
Opposites attract. I mean, one of my best friends is an ESTP and we have SO much fun together. But we never talk about deeper things and I would never want to go into a relationship with a person like that. Haha. That would would be pretty crazy and it would be like poring gasoline on the fire.
Ps. Thanks for all this insight guys! Very eye-opening (and reassuring :D)
I'm glad to help! :happy:
It's really weird because it's the first time someone I'm interested in likes me back, although I think it's too good to be true so my mind keeps trying to go pessimistic on me and tell me it's not true....maybe I do belong in a loony bin XDEdit: okay I'm starting to freak out just a little bit 8|
:kitteh: Best of luck!
 

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I am an ESFP, I am naturally a flirt.
This is so true! I have a very close female ESFP friend. She flirts with everyone and will admit that. She is a lesbian in a committed relationship with a domestic partner (ENTJ), but that still doesn't stop her from flirting with me. Example "You're HOT!" Or even "I had a dream that I was having sex with you then woke up with my girlfriend." Ha! She knows I'm not even gay! And she doesn't just do this with me, she does it with everyone. She is so, so silly! But actually, she lifts up everyone's self esteem who is around. And I don't think she'd ever actually cheat on her girlfriend. Although she does complain that her girlfriend doesn't put out enough. Hahaha!

I'd be so scared to flirt with her. She would take it like white on rice and raise me a thousand bars or two until I was feeling like a shy little lamb. But sometimes my kind of talk embarrasses her too.

I'm pretty sure one of the men I am dating is an ESFP man. In order to flirt, all I had to do was approach him and tell him "You're cute. What are you up to?" and then he asked me out on a date. But we have our issues because I find him a tad abrasive. But instead of giving up, I am trying to teach him the "art of refinement". Hahaha.

I have to be careful because I regularly talk openly about sex. If I do this around my female ESFP friend, she will see that kind of talk as an open door for just about any kind of explicit talk. She is so funny. In addition, obviously with the ESFP guy I'm seeing, if I go there, I can expect for all time to stop for him. I will quickly have his undivided attention, but I better have an hour or 20 to spare. Yikes! :confused:Lol. So we don't talk often. :laughing:
 

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Thank you guys so much!
I'll do my best! (I'm also so happy!! *floats*)
Lucky you! I'm happy for you! It sounds like a good situation. I have a huge weakness for ESFPs myself: all that fun and love of life on the outside, and warmth and depth inside. It doesn't get any better than that, does it? :)
 

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I have a huge weakness for ESFPs myself: all that fun and love of life on the outside, and warmth and depth inside. It doesn't get any better than that, does it? :)
my name is dog.jpg

:crazy:
 

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I've got another question: Is it possible to scare an ESFP off by coming on too strong? I'm always afraid that if I make it too obvious or something it might scare him off but subtle hints don't really seem to get through all that well. Or does he just choose not to say anything about them?
As an anti-social person I have no clue what and how much of it is socially acceptable and I don't want to cross any boundaries..
 

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I've got another question: Is it possible to scare an ESFP off by coming on too strong? I'm always afraid that if I make it too obvious or something it might scare him off but subtle hints don't really seem to get through all that well. Or does he just choose not to say anything about them?
As an anti-social person I have no clue what and how much of it is socially acceptable and I don't want to cross any boundaries..
IF I am interested in someone - nothing can scare me off. That's how it works for me. If I'm not interested however, well I still wouldn't be scared away, I would still want to be friends. Now I have no idea what it's like for other esfps. And once again, I'm a girl, maybe esfp guys are different (I've heard they have something hanging down between their legs :O xcuse me I had 3 glasses of wine)

Actually, I would really like for someone to show me that they want me. It doesn't really happen that often.. or hmm, yes it does, but there has to be a mutual thing going on, and I sometimes feel I might be sending out the wrong signals.
BUT I must say, isfj's are adorable. Well, I only know one confirmed isfj irl, but he's like the sweetest ever, really. He thinks I'm a crazy nut though and he's always worrying about me (no reason to). And warning you guys.... remember to think about yourselves and your needs too, and that all people are responsible for their lives, it's not you who has to make everything right all the time.
Dunno if thats an isfj-thing but at least my isfj friend seem to take on waaaaay to much responibility for just about everything and everyone.
 

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I see so I guess you wouldn't take it badly if a person was trying to show you they like you even if you're not really interested.
Right now I'm feeling creepy developing this whole master plan on how to drop major hints on him in the back of my head
Haha, thanks for the reassurance (you make me blush *///*) I'm actually currently working on being aware of my own needs. I admit I can get caught up in trying to get everything right too but I really doubt you friend would mind if you reminded him to take it easy sometimes, I usually appreciate being snapped out of that state since it's not necessarily a pleasant one.
 

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I see so I guess you wouldn't take it badly if a person was trying to show you they like you even if you're not really interested.
Right now I'm feeling creepy developing this whole master plan on how to drop major hints on him in the back of my head
Haha, thanks for the reassurance (you make me blush *///*) I'm actually currently working on being aware of my own needs. I admit I can get caught up in trying to get everything right too but I really doubt you friend would mind if you reminded him to take it easy sometimes, I usually appreciate being snapped out of that state since it's not necessarily a pleasant one.
I'm not a woman, so I don't have first hand experience on how to flirt with guys, but a fairly good sign of interest is just smiling/laughing/being friendly and trying to be with the person as much as possible.

Then he should at least understand that you like him. And ESFPs like positive feedback from their behavior/jokes/whatever.

Stronger ways of showing interest (if he doesn't take the initiative) could be asking him if he wanted to do something sometime.

You can't really plan how things like these will work out though.

Still, it is better to try, than than to forever be 'haunted' by what could've happened.
 

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I don't think any esfp would mind being showed that they are liked by someone. @Marac sweet isfj girl in need for guy advice! :)

Whenever someone has told me that, or given me their number or giving hints or some friend saying that he loves me or something (has happened twice)... nothing bad has ever happened to anyone. Just be sure he is a nice and good person. Because I think since you are, the one you fall for should be too. And then you have nothing to worry about. I just discovered this is the theme of the night: better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all. <3
And I also think...loving is risking. You're giving your love and your trust, the most precious things you have. I think it's inevitable to sometimes get hurt, but in the end, the only way to lose is to never give.
 
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