Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 39 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Is it possible to get an ENFP back after you've both been hurt? What happened with this ENFP was that I fell in love with him, he led me on, then everything went wrong and we were both left in pain. But I love him so much that I would like to have him in my life even as a friend. I really care about him even though he hurt me a lot. And I want the best for him.
I'm thinking of writing a heartfelt letter and give it to him. We are not talking right now. And it's been a few months. Would he want to talk to me again? Or is it done forever?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,567 Posts
I think this is circumstantial, regardless of type. I can't tell you what's going through their mind. Maybe they've decided that too much damage has been done to return to it. Maybe you crossed a line that the ENFP can't forgive or maybe they really truly need the space to work on themselves.

If you think the relationship is worth fighting for then only you will know how to get them back. If you don't then let them go. I'm sure there were reasons that you separated, if those reasons aren't solved then it's a train wreck waiting to happen.

I hope you find your peace whatever it is.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,970 Posts
I think this is circumstantial, regardless of type. I can't tell you what's going through their mind. Maybe they've decided that too much damage has been done to return to it. Maybe you crossed a line that the ENFP can't forgive or maybe they really truly need the space to work on themselves

I agree with Falling Foxes. It's always worth expressing how you fee to an ENFPl. That way you can always either work forward, either in getting the relationship you want or in getting closure from no regrets. Good luck.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Falling Foxes

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,850 Posts
Is it possible to get an ENFP back after you've both been hurt? What happened with this ENFP was that I fell in love with him, he led me on, then everything went wrong and we were both left in pain. But I love him so much that I would like to have him in my life even as a friend. I really care about him even though he hurt me a lot. And I want the best for him.
I'm thinking of writing a heartfelt letter and give it to him. We are not talking right now. And it's been a few months. Would he want to talk to me again? Or is it done forever?
Since all NFP types have a habitual tendency to go back to former relationships, even toxic ones, out of idealism that THIS TIME it will be different and work, it is possibly not done forever, but the question is, whether both of you need it to be over forever.

I noticed several things here:

"He led me on"
"We were both left in pain"
"He hurt me a lot"

I'm going to give the same advice that I would want someone to give to me, and hope it helps rather than hurts.

When something like this happens, you have to ask yourself a ton of questions, like: why do I want him back? And you have to decide if it's a genuine desire and need to have him in your life, because being around him makes you a better human being (and vice versa), or if it's out of habit and/or a low Si tendency to re-frame and romanticize the giant gaping hole he left in your life now that he's gone.

The former is often a good reason to re-establish contact; if you are better together and your ratio of positive interactions is about 9 good days to 1 bad day. The latter should send up red flags, because it means you just want him back out of habit / low Si missing him and quite possibly are not remembering what happened accurately, or what you were like 'together' accurately.

As someone who has gone back to a few relationships, I'll tell you: it's never the same. Once you really hurt someone and or they really hurt you, you will carry that scar moving forward -- and until they prove themselves changed / different, it will not fade. You will wait for a second blow. Or a fourth.

The same things about that person that drove you insane before, will drive you insane now.

So you also have to ask yourself the hard question of: if this person NEVER changes (contrary to our NF desire to see them become their ideal self), would I still want them in my life -- exactly as they are?

If the answer to that is no, you have your answer -- or another hard question: should I change what I want from this person? Should I stop seeing them as a project? Or is this a toxic combination?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,946 Posts
@numbtopain - If it came to MBTI, i'd say ENFP would be one of the ''easier'' types to reconnect with and getting chances. However, this doesn't mean at all that this is a good thing per se. Other posters already pointed out many factors to consider.

Personally i'm someone that never really closes doors for good, it feels really awkward and unnatural to do that. I tend to form close connections with people, it's hard to pretend that never happened or that the personal information that got exchanged can be unlearned.

There are very few people that I deliberately never reach out to anymore (few old friends and my ex). As long as they don't reach out to me either I suppose we will never speak again (and that is fine). I will always give people new chances though, to a fault. It may be my enneagram 2 that I don't really care for my patience and hurt - feeling as if I can always overcome those for the potential of good things that may be recoverable.

This guy hurt you bad though, and it has only been a few months. Thats a short time-frame, if you reach out now it will most likely be the very same dynamic rather sooner than later. If you want ''the best for him'', then it is worth taking a deep thought whether it is more for you than for him, considering this desire to reconnect.

If you allow yourselves more time to work on yourselves first, then i'd subsequently go for that friendship later. Think of it the other way: going at it now may risk destroying even that one opportunity for just the friendship. Also, in my experience, good friendships don't have a time-clock ticking. It is never too late.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
There are very few people that I deliberately never reach out to anymore (few old friends and my ex). As long as they don't reach out to me either I suppose we will never speak again (and that is fine).
...
Also, in my experience, good friendships don't have a time-clock ticking. It is never too late.
Although I can totally understand why you don't deliberately contact your ex, I find it really interesting why you don't reach out to your old friends. Of course, I'm not asking you about your personal reasons, but rather I'm just interested if there is a pattern.
Do you qualify these friendships as "not good friendships" (ex. you weren't with these friends close enough, or they hurt you at some point) or feel like they are no longer relevant (ex. everyone moved on and is at a different stage of life, so you don't have anything in common with them), or there are some other reasons?
As one of my ENFP friends acts in a similar manner, I'm just curious why you would be willing to reconnect if your old friends contacted you, but at the same time the thought of you contacting them doesn't cross your mind. I'd like to hear your (and other ENFPs) thoughts on this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,946 Posts
Although I can totally understand why you don't deliberately contact your ex, I find it really interesting why you don't reach out to your old friends. Of course, I'm not asking you about your personal reasons, but rather I'm just interested if there is a pattern.
Do you qualify these friendships as "not good friendships" (ex. you weren't with these friends close enough, or they hurt you at some point) or feel like they are no longer relevant (ex. everyone moved on and is at a different stage of life, so you don't have anything in common with them), or there are some other reasons?
As one of my ENFP friends acts in a similar manner, I'm just curious why you would be willing to reconnect if your old friends contacted you, but at the same time the thought of you contacting them doesn't cross your mind. I'd like to hear your (and other ENFPs) thoughts on this.
Fair questions.

For the most part it indeed has to do with having different ''phases'' in life and just loosing touch, not having stuff in common. This does not always have to matter, since I have friends in different ages as well of course.
Let's just say that I had many friends, too many to maintain and give attention to. That in combination with my depression a few years back lead me to focus more on myself and make sure I am involved with myself and not just with others.

Old friends that I dropped were the ones that basically had good things going for them and were not really interested or not in a mindset to really understand my situation or ''phase'' (nor did I want to burden them with heavy/negative themes, while they were in better places and enjoying life). I was happy for them but couldn't really show it, they were also more busy with their own accomplishments and needing me to root for them, so I started to avoid them (I even skipped one wedding).

Not everybody needs me - and I needed to be there for myself. It is not easy to do that without getting feelings of guilt, but I learned to deal with that and nowadays I feel more balanced in all this.

If old friends or an ex were really genuinely interested in me and my wellbeing, then they would probably seek to contact me. In that case I feel okay to face them. At the moment I am not genuinely interested in them or their new lives, so I see no need to get myself involved with them. Also, reaching out to them would probably not provide me with what I need or seek, or even worse, old hurt or resentment because some turned away from me (or just joyrided on my efforts to maintain a friendship, the moment I avoided them it was gone etc.).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
Thank you @nicoloco90 for your honest answer!
The reason for me asking you this questions is that I, as a stereotypical INTJ who isn't skilled at understanding social cues, was sometimes very confused with my friend's behavior. People who are not close to my friend may think that he withdraws because he's so popular and has so many other friends that he doesn't bother to maintain relationships. Probably to some extent it is true, but I suspect (at least my intuition tells me this), in case of close friendships the real reason could be his depression and that he feels he should focus more on his well-being than concentrating on others. Overall, I find your post very informative, and as I've written in some other thread, I'm on the other end of such a friendship. So for some time now I've been wrapping my head around why my ENFP friend doesn't want to contact me, and your reasoning makes much sense to me. Well, then I guess it's my duty to contact my friend, because otherwise our friendship is lost...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,946 Posts
Thank you @nicoloco90 for your honest answer!
The reason for me asking you this questions is that I, as a stereotypical INTJ who isn't skilled at understanding social cues, was sometimes very confused with my friend's behavior. People who are not close to my friend may think that he withdraws because he's so popular and has so many other friends that he doesn't bother to maintain relationships. Probably to some extent it is true, but I suspect (at least my intuition tells me this), in case of close friendships the real reason could be his depression and that he feels he should focus more on his well-being than concentrating on others. Overall, I find your post very informative, and as I've written in some other thread, I'm on the other end of such a friendship. So for some time now I've been wrapping my head around why my ENFP friend doesn't want to contact me, and your reasoning makes much sense to me. Well, then I guess it's my duty to contact my friend, because otherwise our friendship is lost...
I'm happy to hear my answer potentially serves a purpose and could provide some insight. Thank you for emphasising this.

If anything, anyone loves to be understood or having someone genuinely trying to do so. Admittedly I sometimes have my prejudices that some people just do not and cannot understand me, therefore I wouldn't even give them a chance maybe. Or maybe they did understand, but they failed to convince me (that sounds rather sad actually). Maybe your ENFP feels like this towards many people at the moment.

I must say that with INTJ's this proves very much so possible though, your type is one of few that can actually convince my brain/heart that you guys truly get the gist of personal thought-processes or personal dilemma's (it's a great feeling). It can be of extraordinary calming effect when the concise logic, insight and organisation of an INTJ puts a clouded and chaotic ENFP brain to ''rest''. Besides, you're not afraid of pointing out the things we do not always wish to hear, yet in a more tactful way (which is extremely valuable). Maybe our Ne holds all perspectives and possibilities open, while Ni can get to the bottom of it really quickly and shoot down all the peripheral clutter that keeps the ENFP busy getting to the core of their problems.

I don't know what your relationship with your ENFP friend is in terms of how much you know about each other - I do know it falls very heavy on an INTJ to put themselves ''out there'' and reaching out with care and dedication to someone (if anything is a declaration of true care from an INTJ, it is that). I'm not sure how much patience you have or how much rejection you can take before your frustration-levels hit too high, you should probably self-monitor that :p.

Last night I met with an ENFP female friend of mine, I had been trying for weeks to meet up with her but she avoided me or rejected my suggestions to meet up. Turned out her parents are splitting up and she was feeling terrible and tired lately. She gave me little cues in between to try to talk to me about it (we're very close friends and I know about everything about her), but I failed to notice or really ask her because I was so busy with work.

Your ENFP may know that you as an INTJ doesn't appreciate personal ''negative'' emotional sentiment so well, yet you will never know why it exactly is why they distance themselves, until you ask. INTJ's are very yummy creatures though, I couldn't think of a reason why he wouldn't want to keep you around :D - there aren't so many around of you in the streets to find and befriend after all. Surely you are not easily replaced at all.

He may have many friends, but these many friends may serve their own ''purposes''. That is how it is with me at least, I have certain friends to speak with, about certain topics.
Outside of a romantic relationship, I would probably not pick an INTJ to go discuss my depression with. So yeah, maybe if you let him know that you're genuinely interested and patient, he may open up or come forth.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
Thanks so much @nicoloco90 for your comments, I learned a lot! In case of ENFPs what I admire most in you is your enthusiasm, drive, creativity, also that you're deep (if you want to show this), you are not afraid to discuss abstract things (ex. theories, values), your social skills are great and your hugs are really warm :blushed:
In terms of our friendship we were quite close (I know him for many years), even to a point when we both knew how to annoy the other one. So I definitely know my "frustration-levels" with him coz he tested them a few times, and afterwards he was aware that some things (ex. being flaky or ignoring me (and I'm not clingy)) piss me off. The other way around, I'm also guilty of acting in a way (not on purpose) that drove him crazy (ex. being critical about some things, and he takes every critical comment personally).

My only concern right now is that, in the past whenever I expressed my concern or showed I care for him, he acted like he didn't need my help or didn't appreciate I care about him. On the other hand, from time to time he reached out to me to comfort him and then he expected me to be supportive and understanding (sometimes it felt like it was not completely genuine, but rather he wanted my attention). He was the one to tell me about his depression (and I'm sure he doesn't tell many people about this as he can be guarded sometimes when it comes to his personal life), while most people see his demeanor as upbeat. So I think that he was fairly comfortable to reach out to get sympathy from me, but felt uncomfortable when I showed I care about him voluntarily :confused: This is actually something that bugs me and in fact holds me back to contact him first :frustrating:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,946 Posts
:crazy:
[...]
In terms of our friendship we were quite close (I know him for many years), even to a point when we both knew how to annoy the other one.[...]
Hehe, that explains a lot :)

hmmm ...

How about yourself though; Do you have your own life put well together and everything arranged? Did you ever need or request help from ENFP?
Personally I find it very difficult and awkward to ask for help, or to discuss my weaknesses and the things i'm not happy about. If I do this, I wouldn't do this to a friend that always seems two steps ahead of me in life and having things going for them. I'd like to be the advisor or mentor myself, or at least see a balance in a friendship where both have and share their difficult times. I know INTJs barely show or share this, unless you're really really close.
But if anything, if someone comes and shows me how it's done or advises me what I should be doing or thinking, without me believing they understand what I go through (because it did not happen to them or they already found their ''wavelength'' in life when it comes to for example studies, work, romance, etc.) - ... then I don't not take that so well.
I would avoid the friend and deflect on all what they are saying. For example, I have this very much so with my older sister and her little perfect life. She means really well, but at the same time how could she possibly understand and pretend she knows what's best for me, my life / situation is about opposite from hers.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,970 Posts
@Universal, didn't you go talk to your ENFP friend yet? If not, you probably feel you need more ideas on what went wrong and how to go about reestablishing contact? Thats reasonable. @nicocoloco90 definitely added a lot of things I absolutely agree with. Its true I might need my INTJ to hang with me a few times (doing the work of contacting me each time ) before I might trust again and open up more. Make sure to not be critical or controlling those first few meetings. The "CC's" is what we don't tolerate.
But for me, I'm talking to my INTJ more now. I'm persisting in texting her. Its good and I feel better about it making the effort on her terms (meaning doing the things she wants out of a relationship with me.), because at least I'm making an effort. If I was waiting still until she was open to healing this my way then I'd still be waiting. I'm here if you have questions. So are others like Nicocoloco90.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
Universal, didn't you go talk to your ENFP friend yet? If not, you probably feel you need more ideas on what went wrong and how to go about reestablishing contact? Thats reasonable.
Thanks @Alesha, I really wanted to contact my friend, but the last two weeks he was on vacation so I thought it would be wise to postpone our conversation until he returns. Before his vacation I was still mustering my courage to talk to him :blushed: In fact, your feedback in the thread I started was of tremendous help to me, so I'm definitely preparing a plan how to discuss with him our issues taking into account your insights. However, sometimes I overanalyze things and start to feel a bit insecure because as I said it happened in the past that he acted like he didn't appreciate my help or me asking him if everything is OK. But I will contact him in the coming days.

@nicocoloco90 definitely added a lot of things I absolutely agree with. Its true I might need my INTJ to hang with me a few times (doing the work of contacting me each time ) before I might trust again and open up more. Make sure to not be critical or controlling those first few meetings. The "CC's" is what we don't tolerate.
I'll do as you say. I don't want him to feel worse if we start to talk again than he feels right now without any contact. I will contact you definitely after I speak to him (or earlier if I have more doubts as it may also happen :frustrating:)

But for me, I'm talking to my INTJ more now. I'm persisting in texting her. Its good and I feel better about it making the effort on her terms (meaning doing the things she wants out of a relationship with me.), because at least I'm making an effort. If I was waiting still until she was open to healing this my way then I'd still be waiting. I'm here if you have questions. So are others like Nicocoloco90.
I'm really happy for you, I think your INTJ friend really appreciates your efforts :happy: But of course I hope you feel comfortable in this situation, because I believe INTJs value honesty and generally don't want to push people into doing things they don't want to do. Best of luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
How about yourself though; Do you have your own life put well together and everything arranged? Did you ever need or request help from ENFP?
That is a very good question. I'm rather quite independent, so it happens very rarely that I ask for help.
My life is not exactly put well together, as I haven't started my own family yet (he also hasn't, but most of my friends already have though). In other parts of my life I'm pretty successful, but romantic relationships (as usual for INTJs) have been a bit of struggle for me.

Personally I find it very difficult and awkward to ask for help, or to discuss my weaknesses and the things i'm not happy about. If I do this, I wouldn't do this to a friend that always seems two steps ahead of me in life and having things going for them. I'd like to be the advisor or mentor myself, or at least see a balance in a friendship where both have and share their difficult times. I know INTJs barely show or share this, unless you're really really close.
As you said, INTJs are very reluctant to talk about their weaknesses and I wholeheartedly agree with you, but because we were close I told him about my insecurities, weaknesses and problems. He did that too. I don't think I'm two steps ahead of him and I honestly don't think I'm better than him, but it may be the case that he thinks I'm more analytical than him and deep down he wishes he could be more analytical like me.

But if anything, if someone comes and shows me how it's done or advises me what I should be doing or thinking, without me believing they understand what I go through (because it did not happen to them or they already found their ''wavelength'' in life when it comes to for example studies, work, romance, etc.) - ... then I don't not take that so well.
I would avoid the friend and deflect on all what they are saying. For example, I have this very much so with my older sister and her little perfect life. She means really well, but at the same time how could she possibly understand and pretend she knows what's best for me, my life / situation is about opposite from hers.
I agree, I really don't respond well if someone (in my experience mostly S-types behave like this) tries to convince me that I should live my life just like everyone else (aka "normal people"). For me it doesn't work and I would be very surprised if any of my friends would say I wanted them to be more like me. On the other hand, Idk people may assume that although I don't say it explicitly, in fact I mean it. I have to think about this more, maybe some people treat my criticism too personally and think I don't mean to point out some behaviors but in reality I want to change who they are.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,946 Posts
That is a very good question. I'm rather quite independent, so it happens very rarely that I ask for help.
My life is not exactly put well together, as I haven't started my own family yet (he also hasn't, but most of my friends already have though). In other parts of my life I'm pretty successful, but romantic relationships (as usual for INTJs) have been a bit of struggle for me.


As you said, INTJs are very reluctant to talk about their weaknesses and I wholeheartedly agree with you, but because we were close I told him about my insecurities, weaknesses and problems. He did that too. I don't think I'm two steps ahead of him and I honestly don't think I'm better than him, but it may be the case that he thinks I'm more analytical than him and deep down he wishes he could be more analytical like me.


I agree, I really don't respond well if someone (in my experience mostly S-types behave like this) tries to convince me that I should live my life just like everyone else (aka "normal people"). For me it doesn't work and I would be very surprised if any of my friends would say I wanted them to be more like me. On the other hand, Idk people may assume that although I don't say it explicitly, in fact I mean it. I have to think about this more, maybe some people treat my criticism too personally and think I don't mean to point out some behaviors but in reality I want to change who they are.
When talking about ''success'' though ... i'm sure you get what I mean and think likewise when I say that success is often defined in a limited way. The way western societies define it is oftentimes not as meaningful to me. I know INTJ's are headstrong and wise enough to rebel against that as well.

You seem quite open and straightforward though, I am also just brainstorming this case with your friend. At the same time, when I think about it, there's also this INTJ that is still on my mind after all this time. We don't speak anymore, but I always wonder if I should try again but i'm not sure how (or not sure if it is good for them, I know I unintentionally hurt them in the past). I wouldn't want my own ideals or needs to burden them, especially when they didn't ask for any of that.

But yeah, I didn't want to put you in that place where you might be lecturing your friend or anything. It is just one of the possibilities (thanks Ne) that I could imagine.

INTJ criticism can come across cold and harsh though, but seeing as you and him are / were close and transparent, i'd assume he'd understand how to take all that. Maybe you can try to listen and dissect his thoughts / feels like you guys do so extremely well, without trying to add conclusions to it yourself or put critical remarks to it (I know how interrogative questioning can be interesting and hard to resist :crazy: ... but maybe try resist that part). I love being questioned though, just not on how I approach/handle my ''problems'' in life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
When talking about ''success'' though ... i'm sure you get what I mean and think likewise when I say that success is often defined in a limited way. The way western societies define it is oftentimes not as meaningful to me. I know INTJ's are headstrong and wise enough to rebel against that as well.
I think I know what you are talking about. When I said that I'm quite successful in other parts of my life I meant that I've accomplished or pursue goals that are important to me, not for the society necessarily. From my experience, when I've been discussing my dreams and goals with my ENFP friend he's been generally supportive. Also, I've got that impression that he has often understood that although most people would not take the path I've decided to take (because it is difficult) I've felt I need to go down that road to be successful in my own terms (aka find happiness).

You seem quite open and straightforward though, I am also just brainstorming this case with your friend. At the same time, when I think about it, there's also this INTJ that is still on my mind after all this time. We don't speak anymore, but I always wonder if I should try again but i'm not sure how (or not sure if it is good for them, I know I unintentionally hurt them in the past). I wouldn't want my own ideals or needs to burden them, especially when they didn't ask for any of that.

But yeah, I didn't want to put you in that place where you might be lecturing your friend or anything. It is just one of the possibilities (thanks Ne) that I could imagine.

INTJ criticism can come across cold and harsh though, but seeing as you and him are / were close and transparent, i'd assume he'd understand how to take all that. Maybe you can try to listen and dissect his thoughts / feels like you guys do so extremely well, without trying to add conclusions to it yourself or put critical remarks to it (I know how interrogative questioning can be interesting and hard to resist :crazy: ... but maybe try resist that part). I love being questioned though, just not on how I approach/handle my ''problems'' in life.
Yeah, I mean it has happened sometimes that my friend acted submissively towards me, especially when I was saying how something should had been done or what values I think are important to me (ex. integrity). I have never wanted to admonish anyone, so I thought he agreed with me, but sometimes I suspected he did that not to argue with me. I will take yours and @Alesha's advice to tone down my criticism when interacting with him. However, I have never advised him how he should approach/handle his ''problems'' in life, because I've always thought that if anyone wants to hear my opinion on this he/she will ask for it, so I just listen and try not to "teach" anyone (especially such independent people like him) how to approach life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,946 Posts
I think I know what you are talking about. When I said that I'm quite successful in other parts of my life I meant that I've accomplished or pursue goals that are important to me, not for the society necessarily. From my experience, when I've been discussing my dreams and goals with my ENFP friend he's been generally supportive. Also, I've got that impression that he has often understood that although most people would not take the path I've decided to take (because it is difficult) I've felt I need to go down that road to be successful in my own terms (aka find happiness).
Exactly :) I'm very happy and exited to hear this. It's a whole subject on its own, but i'd love to hear more about all that.

universal said:
Yeah, I mean it has happened sometimes that my friend acted submissively towards me, especially when I was saying how something should had been done or what values I think are important to me (ex. integrity). I have never wanted to admonish anyone, so I thought he agreed with me, but sometimes I suspected he did that not to argue with me. I will take yours and @Alesha's advice to tone down my criticism when interacting with him. However, I have never advised him how he should approach/handle his ''problems'' in life, because I've always thought that if anyone wants to hear my opinion on this he/she will ask for it, so I just listen and try not to "teach" anyone (especially such independent people like him) how to approach life.
Sounds good! Like you say with the value on integrity, as long as you stay genuine and keep being yourself while at it .... it should be okay?

It's hard for me to relate with possible emotional submissiveness that he me show though, since i'm rebellious and stubborn by nature, whether one is a stern, austere and argumentatively strongk INTJ or not :cool:. Or wait, now that I think about it, I do it too, but then with ESTJs or ENTJs. I can secretly start resenting them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,064 Posts
It seems that I'm atypical ENFP.
I never go back into relationships and I have a very easy time letting them go, friends and exes... ESPECIALLY if they hurt me, then they're as well as dead!
Only those who I still harbor feelings or the break up was due to circumstances (moving away, etc) I care enough to keep in touch, but I also never reattached to an ended relationship.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
Exactly :) I'm very happy and exited to hear this. It's a whole subject on its own, but i'd love to hear more about all that.
Thanks @nicoloco90 :happy: I wish I could write something more about this here, but I can't go into details because I won't be "anonymous" any more :wink: But we can always switch to PMs if you want to know more.

Sounds good! Like you say with the value on integrity, as long as you stay genuine and keep being yourself while at it .... it should be okay?
Yeah, I definitely try to stay true to my values. But because I set high expectations for myself, it's very hard for me to not expect (almost) the same in return (ex. loyalty) from my friends as well.

It's hard for me to relate with possible emotional submissiveness that he me show though, since i'm rebellious and stubborn by nature, whether one is a stern, austere and argumentatively strongk INTJ or not :cool:. Or wait, now that I think about it, I do it too, but then with ESTJs or ENTJs. I can secretly start resenting them.
My friend is also quite stubborn and has his own opinions (probably people don't notice this at first site though). And I remember that he has been usually very uncompromising every time we have had an argument (he was also quite emotional in such cases). However when I said he has acted submissively in some situations, it was when our friendship has grew stronger and he has started to value my opinions more. Well, I can't rule out that when I'm discussing the best course of action (aka my master plan), I turn into an ENTJ :rolleyes:
 
1 - 20 of 39 Posts
Top