Personality Cafe banner
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
130 Posts
How to get my ISTJ mom to live life to the fullest?
question kinda says it all. personal experience? things that could help you?
What do you mean by fullest? What is she not doing that you think she should be doing?
 

·
MOTM May 2011
Joined
·
14,041 Posts
How to get my ISTJ mom to live life to the fullest?
question kinda says it all. personal experience? things that could help you?
It needs to be her idea. It is very difficult for a person to change their own behavior, much less the behavior of someone else.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
254 Posts
Does she seem to be unhappy with her life? Everyone has their own definition of "living life to its fullest."

My ESTP sister has told me that I'm missing out on life because I prefer low-risk activities like hiking and cross-country skiing to bungee jumping and extreme snowboarding. She gets a thrill out of high-risk activities but I prefer to arrive in one piece, thank you very much. Do I feel I'm missing out beause I don't do these things? No.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
653 Posts
An ISTJ view of what constitutes living life to the fullest may be quite different from that of some other types. I find many activities to be rewarding that others might find boring or tedious.

While you might consider your mother's lifestyle to be boring or mundane, she may feel differently. And perhaps you are right and she is not living as full a life as she would like, but I hope you are not judging the value of your mother's lifestyle by your ENFP measuring stick but rather by what she really desires from life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,184 Posts
But in all seriousness, you let her decide for herself whether she's fulfilled or not. Like other people said, you're asking how to impose your own view of "fullest" on a person whose definition for that same concept is radically different from your own.

At the end of the day, living life to the fullest is intimately tied to the concept of fulfillment. At the internal level, you're living life to its fullest if you're fulfilled. Ultimately you can't be more fulfilled than being fulfilled because fulfillment is a state that isn't gradable. A person plateaus at a certain level, and each of our plateau levels are different, and the amount of fulfillment we gain from any activity or state are different.

Your mother is perfectly able to be fulfilled by cleaning the house and balancing her checkbook if that's what fulfills her. And where you as an ENFP might not find those fulfilling, she as an ISTJ won't find cruises to Somalia to deliver shoes and dolls to refugee orphans fulfilling.

EDIT: My ENFP friends aren't fulfilled unless they're in a car with three friends and laughing. I'm not fulfilled unless I'm sitting at home alone listening to music and playing video games.

There's also a major difference in what fulfills you just from being Extroverts and Introverts. You need to let her mellow out at home if you want her to be happy.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top