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Growing up I had a fear of spiders, heights and a few other things. I never liked the idea of being afraid and wanted to find a way to completely solve that problem, here was my unique solution.

The placebo effect is a very powerful thing, and it got me thinking about how if your brain believes something whether true or not, it will act as though it is true, I wanted to find the best way of mimicking that.

There's a game I like to play that requires two people, each would take half a deck of cards. One person will go through all of their cards, one at a time by drawing a card and holding it directly in front of them. That player would then say "this card is red" or "this card is black" either lying or telling the truth. The opposing player would then guess what the actual card color was. I noticed that when I would look at a card, say a 3 of diamonds, I would imagine and envision that card was say a 7 of clubs. When saying this card is black, I noticed that it felt as if I was telling the truth without signs of deception.


Now about the fear part. With spiders, I would tell myself "I love spiders, I love the way they look, I want a spider to crawl on me and bite me, that would be amazing" after conditioning my brain that the worst case senario in my mind was a good thing, my fear vanished very quickly. After some time I didn't need to remind myself to belive the placebo I created because it just became natural to know I wasn't afraid of spiders without having to question why.

With heights, when I went skydiving. " I told myself how much fun it would be if my parachute wouldn't open and I free fell to my death" jumped out of that plane with a smile on my face and had a blast.

After I saw a scary movie (high school days) and was trying to sleep, but was thinking about every little noise I heard and if someone was trying to kill me. I told myself, "that's probably a guy with an axe coming to chop my head off, sounds exciting!" Then I was able to sleep very soundly and peacefully.


This may or may not work for you, but the brain can be pretty powerful if you know how to persuade it.
 

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I have a theory about phobias that i've developed recently from learning about Carl Jung unconsciousness archetypes dream analysis etc.... I think the reason why people have phobias is largely because whatever they have a fear of reminds them unconsciously/emotionally of something they have anxiety about, trouble dealing facing


for example spiders are emotionally connected with things like death, deadly, poisonous venom, but also their webs which are traps, they trap prey, trap lovers that they mate with and then devour, webs are nests/homes where they lay their eggs, spiders represent motherhood and femininity they're frail and fragile...etc

...so if perhaps your mother died you might develop a fear of spiders because it would remind you of your mother and death on an unconscious level.

The things that people have phobias are things that do pose some threat, spiders, snakes, heights etc... so to ur conscious mind it makes sense that you should be afraid of that thing and associate your anxiety with only that object rather than the issue that it reminding you of unconsciously. It makes sense you should have some apprehension and nervousness about dangerous things, but the rational thing is to be alert and respond to those threats head on rather than have an overly irrational fear that is such that it makes you run away from those thing. To me those fears don't make sense totally as just fears of that object, it makes more sense to me that a large part of the fear is the association with an unconscious issue.


...also because you always feel this anxiety from this object/situation you then feel anxiety from the anxiety and it becomes a palovian response to the object. But to me it seems there has to be some unconscious anxiety to cause you to fear that object more than other people in the first place.


People always say you need to confront your fear and exposure yourself to the thing that you're afraid of to get over that fear, but I think that is actually the completely wrong way to go about it. To surround yourself around the object you're afraid of all you're doing is learning to no longer associate the object with the unconscious issue, you're desensitizing yourself to the symbolism of that object, but that does nothing to resolve the underlying psychological issue that is causing your phobia. What you should try to do is understand why you have that particular phobia.

heights makes sense to be associate with insecurities, you're afraid you'll fall if you try to fly to high

conversely, claustrophobia is likely anxiety from feeling you're being confined, work, family etc not letting you be yourself and move onto bigger things

water is associated w/ the unconscious - so drowning would be fear of facing your unconscious

bridges represent connections - so anxiety going over bridges is likely related to issues connecting and communicating w/ others

fear of going over bridges over water - anxiety from facing your unconscious awareness that you have trouble communicating w/others

fear of the dark - fear of the unknown

etc.


tho it's never definitely one thing or the other, looking into the symbolism of the object you are afraid of just give clues as to what issue you may be struggling w/ on an unconscious level that is causing anxiety.


Of course all of us have some psychological issues, some trouble w/ parents, fitting into society, figuring what the fuck we're doing here, etc...and its natural to be nervous about certain things so I don't think you shouldn't beat yourself up too much if you have some fears and can't figure out the reason for your phobias.
 
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