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Whenever I go to one of my friend's house, his roommate tries to hit on me. I've made it clear that I am completely emotionally unavailable (for him), but he still always tries to sit next to me, ::yawn and stretch:: the arm to go around me, and hangs out with us uninvited. Granted, it is his house too, but how do I kindly give him the hint that I'd like to spend my platonic friendship with my friend and NOT him? I talked to my friend about it and he's about ready to kill himself too. This guy just gives off the creepy vibe. I slept over one night and Bryan (my friend) told me that he woke up in the middle of the night to find his roommate staring at us. Weird!!!! Anyway, here are some fun ways that I have found to annoy him/drive him crazy/scare the hell out of him.


1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to
him before he goes to class/ work.

2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back to far, and
fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then,
one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing,
get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore"

3. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on. Pretend to read
without one when the lights are out, remarking ever so often how great the
book is.

4. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf
for about fifteen minutes. Then. pretend to wipe out and fall off the
bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate
comes over to rescue you.

5. Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes everyday.
Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of
ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the
empty cage and tell him/her, "I was hungry."

6. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug in the
toaster. Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain
that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests
plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire safety.

7. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you are going
away to "find yourself". Leave, and come back in about ten minutes.
If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard person to find.

8. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell
him something, go to another room and call him on the phone.

9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of
water. When he brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go
to sleep. If he ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie
on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making gagging
sounds, until he gets it for you.

10. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and
begin to violently slam dance with your roommate. If he asks
about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist."

11. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it.
Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see
you again."

12. Get a can of beans. Label them "jumping beans". Eat them, and then
jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them "Dancing
beans". Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can,
and Label it "Kill your roommate beans". Eat them, smiling at your
roommate.

13. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then
wake him up and say, "Ok, it's time for you to go to bed now."

14. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge of Allegiance" with
you every morning.

15. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books all the time. Eventually, think up
melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your
roommate. If he tells you to stop, act offended and spend the
day in bed.

16. Put up traffic signs around the house. If your roommate doesn't obey
them, give him tickets. Confiscate something you roommate owns
until he pays the tickets.

17. Walk, talk and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate
inquires, tell him, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."

18. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been
bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to fix them.

19. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate
dying in a car crash," and "Roommate getting whacked in the head
with a shovel." Comment often on how much you love these paintings.

20. Wear glasses and complain that you can never see anything. Bump
into walls and floors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's
That?"every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing
the glasses, act like you can see fine.

21. Buy a lava lamp. Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements
with your face. Explain to your roommate that you have established a
connection with the spirit world through the lava lamp, and tell
your roommate that, "Grandma say's hi!"

22. Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your
collection of "inert gasses". Look at them often. One day, act
surprised and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released
one of the gasses. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.

23. Wear scary Halloween masks. Look in the mirror and scream
hysterically for about five minutes every time you put one on.

24. Roller skate up and down the hallway. Every time you see your
roommate, crash into him and knock him down. Apologize and
say that he, "looked like the enemy."

25. Put headphones on your roommate while he is sleeping, and
subliminally teach him to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and
memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.

26. Stick you head out the window, but forget to open it, so that your
head crashes through the glass. Then say, "SILLY ME," open the
window again, and try to stick your head through. Act like you hit your
head on something and fall to the ground in pain.

27. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you
upon sight If he refuses, insist that he do 100 push-ups. Keep
saying thins like, "your momma isn't here to take care of you
anymore!"

28. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add
to it, and say things like, "in a little while I'll have enough for
that sailboat!"

29. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into
the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate
inquires, refuse to discuss the situation and say, "It's between me
and the bunny."

30. Spread toothpicks all over the floor. Stare at them, acting like
you're trying to read something. Tell your roommate it's a message
from God, but you're not sure whether it's a warning about a loved
one in danger or a recipe for really great chili.


The Crazy Guy

If you’re lucky, you’ll wind up with an easily categorized roommate. If God hates you, however, you might end up with The Crazy Guy. He’s the kind with the strange tics who never responds to your attempts to drive him away. Ousting The Crazy Guy can be quite a chore. Usually, no matter what kind of irritation you throw at him he springs back with something equally aggravating. Don’t give up hope. You’ll just have to one-up him at every creepy quirk.

Ousting the Crazy Guy

-Assault his belongings.

-Start hoarding his stuff.

-Take his food while he’s sleeping.

-Buy a label gun and start sticking your name to all his stuff.

-Develop odd tics.

-Start squawking like a bird uncontrollably.

-Perch on your desk chair like it’s a branch and start pecking at the keyboard with your face. If he asks you about your behavior, return to normal and insist you don’t know what he’s talking about.

-Start taking showers that last an hour or more.

-Use your computer for nothing but porn.

-Always hunch over the keyboard like a hungry animal.

-Follow him wherever he goes.

-Stare him down when he talks to you.

-Make it appear that his eyes are hypnotic.

-Develop night terrors. Scream and thrash in your sleep.

-Don’t let anyone ever take pictures of you; cameras steal your soul.

-Develop a sweet tooth and always ask him if he could perhaps spare a caramel or maybe some delicious chocolates?

-Make diseases the topic of every conversation.

-Start wearing his clothes.

If none of this works, you’ll have to just kill him.

Remember, no one has feelings but you. Don’t worry about hurting your terrible roommates; they need to learn how to not suck so badly. Drive them out and live happy.
 

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Did you think up all of these?

I laughed out loud at #2....I could totally visualize that in my head, it would be so funny and you would look like a complete psycho XD
 

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Whenever I go to one of my friend's house, his roommate tries to hit on me. I've made it clear that I am completely emotionally unavailable (for him), but he still always tries to sit next to me, ::yawn and stretch:: the arm to go around me, and hangs out with us uninvited. Granted, it is his house too, but how do I kindly give him the hint that I'd like to spend my platonic friendship with my friend and NOT him? I talked to my friend about it and he's about ready to kill himself too. This guy just gives off the creepy vibe. I slept over one night and Bryan (my friend) told me that he woke up in the middle of the night to find his roommate staring at us. Weird!!!! Anyway, here are some fun ways that I have found to annoy him/drive him crazy/scare the hell out of him.


1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to
him before he goes to class/ work.

2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back to far, and
fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then,
one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing,
get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore"

3. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on. Pretend to read
without one when the lights are out, remarking ever so often how great the
book is.

4. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf
for about fifteen minutes. Then. pretend to wipe out and fall off the
bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate
comes over to rescue you.

5. Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes everyday.
Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of
ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the
empty cage and tell him/her, "I was hungry."

6. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug in the
toaster. Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain
that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests
plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire safety.

7. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you are going
away to "find yourself". Leave, and come back in about ten minutes.
If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard person to find.

8. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell
him something, go to another room and call him on the phone.

9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of
water. When he brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go
to sleep. If he ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie
on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making gagging
sounds, until he gets it for you.

10. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and
begin to violently slam dance with your roommate. If he asks
about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist."

11. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it.
Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see
you again."

12. Get a can of beans. Label them "jumping beans". Eat them, and then
jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them "Dancing
beans". Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can,
and Label it "Kill your roommate beans". Eat them, smiling at your
roommate.

13. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then
wake him up and say, "Ok, it's time for you to go to bed now."

14. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge of Allegiance" with
you every morning.

15. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books all the time. Eventually, think up
melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your
roommate. If he tells you to stop, act offended and spend the
day in bed.

16. Put up traffic signs around the house. If your roommate doesn't obey
them, give him tickets. Confiscate something you roommate owns
until he pays the tickets.

17. Walk, talk and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate
inquires, tell him, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."

18. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been
bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to fix them.

19. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate
dying in a car crash," and "Roommate getting whacked in the head
with a shovel." Comment often on how much you love these paintings.

20. Wear glasses and complain that you can never see anything. Bump
into walls and floors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's
That?"every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing
the glasses, act like you can see fine.

21. Buy a lava lamp. Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements
with your face. Explain to your roommate that you have established a
connection with the spirit world through the lava lamp, and tell
your roommate that, "Grandma say's hi!"

22. Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your
collection of "inert gasses". Look at them often. One day, act
surprised and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released
one of the gasses. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.

23. Wear scary Halloween masks. Look in the mirror and scream
hysterically for about five minutes every time you put one on.

24. Roller skate up and down the hallway. Every time you see your
roommate, crash into him and knock him down. Apologize and
say that he, "looked like the enemy."

25. Put headphones on your roommate while he is sleeping, and
subliminally teach him to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and
memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.

26. Stick you head out the window, but forget to open it, so that your
head crashes through the glass. Then say, "SILLY ME," open the
window again, and try to stick your head through. Act like you hit your
head on something and fall to the ground in pain.

27. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you
upon sight If he refuses, insist that he do 100 push-ups. Keep
saying thins like, "your momma isn't here to take care of you
anymore!"

28. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add
to it, and say things like, "in a little while I'll have enough for
that sailboat!"

29. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into
the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate
inquires, refuse to discuss the situation and say, "It's between me
and the bunny."

30. Spread toothpicks all over the floor. Stare at them, acting like
you're trying to read something. Tell your roommate it's a message
from God, but you're not sure whether it's a warning about a loved
one in danger or a recipe for really great chili.


The Crazy Guy

If you’re lucky, you’ll wind up with an easily categorized roommate. If God hates you, however, you might end up with The Crazy Guy. He’s the kind with the strange tics who never responds to your attempts to drive him away. Ousting The Crazy Guy can be quite a chore. Usually, no matter what kind of irritation you throw at him he springs back with something equally aggravating. Don’t give up hope. You’ll just have to one-up him at every creepy quirk.

Ousting the Crazy Guy

-Assault his belongings.

-Start hoarding his stuff.

-Take his food while he’s sleeping.

-Buy a label gun and start sticking your name to all his stuff.

-Develop odd tics.

-Start squawking like a bird uncontrollably.

-Perch on your desk chair like it’s a branch and start pecking at the keyboard with your face. If he asks you about your behavior, return to normal and insist you don’t know what he’s talking about.

-Start taking showers that last an hour or more.

-Use your computer for nothing but porn.

-Always hunch over the keyboard like a hungry animal.

-Follow him wherever he goes.

-Stare him down when he talks to you.

-Make it appear that his eyes are hypnotic.

-Develop night terrors. Scream and thrash in your sleep.

-Don’t let anyone ever take pictures of you; cameras steal your soul.

-Develop a sweet tooth and always ask him if he could perhaps spare a caramel or maybe some delicious chocolates?

-Make diseases the topic of every conversation.

-Start wearing his clothes.

If none of this works, you’ll have to just kill him.

Remember, no one has feelings but you. Don’t worry about hurting your terrible roommates; they need to learn how to not suck so badly. Drive them out and live happy.
All of this and guy still isn't gone? What the hell. Are you THAT sexy?
 

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Whenever I go to one of my friend's house, his roommate tries to hit on me. I've made it clear that I am completely emotionally unavailable (for him), but he still always tries to sit next to me, ::yawn and stretch:: the arm to go around me, and hangs out with us uninvited. Granted, it is his house too, but how do I kindly give him the hint that I'd like to spend my platonic friendship with my friend and NOT him? I talked to my friend about it and he's about ready to kill himself too. This guy just gives off the creepy vibe. I slept over one night and Bryan (my friend) told me that he woke up in the middle of the night to find his roommate staring at us. Weird!!!! Anyway, here are some fun ways that I have found to annoy him/drive him crazy/scare the hell out of him.


1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to
him before he goes to class/ work.

2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back to far, and
fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then,
one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing,
get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore"

3. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on. Pretend to read
without one when the lights are out, remarking ever so often how great the
book is.

4. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf
for about fifteen minutes. Then. pretend to wipe out and fall off the
bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate
comes over to rescue you.

5. Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes everyday.
Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of
ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the
empty cage and tell him/her, "I was hungry."

6. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug in the
toaster. Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain
that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests
plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire safety.

7. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you are going
away to "find yourself". Leave, and come back in about ten minutes.
If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard person to find.

8. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell
him something, go to another room and call him on the phone.

9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of
water. When he brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go
to sleep. If he ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie
on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making gagging
sounds, until he gets it for you.

10. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and
begin to violently slam dance with your roommate. If he asks
about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist."

11. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it.
Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see
you again."

12. Get a can of beans. Label them "jumping beans". Eat them, and then
jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them "Dancing
beans". Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can,
and Label it "Kill your roommate beans". Eat them, smiling at your
roommate.

13. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then
wake him up and say, "Ok, it's time for you to go to bed now."

14. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge of Allegiance" with
you every morning.

15. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books all the time. Eventually, think up
melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your
roommate. If he tells you to stop, act offended and spend the
day in bed.

16. Put up traffic signs around the house. If your roommate doesn't obey
them, give him tickets. Confiscate something you roommate owns
until he pays the tickets.

17. Walk, talk and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate
inquires, tell him, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."

18. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been
bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to fix them.

19. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate
dying in a car crash," and "Roommate getting whacked in the head
with a shovel." Comment often on how much you love these paintings.

20. Wear glasses and complain that you can never see anything. Bump
into walls and floors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's
That?"every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing
the glasses, act like you can see fine.

21. Buy a lava lamp. Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements
with your face. Explain to your roommate that you have established a
connection with the spirit world through the lava lamp, and tell
your roommate that, "Grandma say's hi!"

22. Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your
collection of "inert gasses". Look at them often. One day, act
surprised and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released
one of the gasses. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.

23. Wear scary Halloween masks. Look in the mirror and scream
hysterically for about five minutes every time you put one on.

24. Roller skate up and down the hallway. Every time you see your
roommate, crash into him and knock him down. Apologize and
say that he, "looked like the enemy."

25. Put headphones on your roommate while he is sleeping, and
subliminally teach him to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and
memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.

26. Stick you head out the window, but forget to open it, so that your
head crashes through the glass. Then say, "SILLY ME," open the
window again, and try to stick your head through. Act like you hit your
head on something and fall to the ground in pain.

27. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you
upon sight If he refuses, insist that he do 100 push-ups. Keep
saying thins like, "your momma isn't here to take care of you
anymore!"

28. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add
to it, and say things like, "in a little while I'll have enough for
that sailboat!"

29. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into
the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate
inquires, refuse to discuss the situation and say, "It's between me
and the bunny."

30. Spread toothpicks all over the floor. Stare at them, acting like
you're trying to read something. Tell your roommate it's a message
from God, but you're not sure whether it's a warning about a loved
one in danger or a recipe for really great chili.


The Crazy Guy

If you’re lucky, you’ll wind up with an easily categorized roommate. If God hates you, however, you might end up with The Crazy Guy. He’s the kind with the strange tics who never responds to your attempts to drive him away. Ousting The Crazy Guy can be quite a chore. Usually, no matter what kind of irritation you throw at him he springs back with something equally aggravating. Don’t give up hope. You’ll just have to one-up him at every creepy quirk.

Ousting the Crazy Guy

-Assault his belongings.

-Start hoarding his stuff.

-Take his food while he’s sleeping.

-Buy a label gun and start sticking your name to all his stuff.

-Develop odd tics.

-Start squawking like a bird uncontrollably.

-Perch on your desk chair like it’s a branch and start pecking at the keyboard with your face. If he asks you about your behavior, return to normal and insist you don’t know what he’s talking about.

-Start taking showers that last an hour or more.

-Use your computer for nothing but porn.

-Always hunch over the keyboard like a hungry animal.

-Follow him wherever he goes.

-Stare him down when he talks to you.

-Make it appear that his eyes are hypnotic.

-Develop night terrors. Scream and thrash in your sleep.

-Don’t let anyone ever take pictures of you; cameras steal your soul.

-Develop a sweet tooth and always ask him if he could perhaps spare a caramel or maybe some delicious chocolates?

-Make diseases the topic of every conversation.

-Start wearing his clothes.

If none of this works, you’ll have to just kill him.

Remember, no one has feelings but you. Don’t worry about hurting your terrible roommates; they need to learn how to not suck so badly. Drive them out and live happy.
How about these suggestions:

1) Buy a .357 Smith & Wesson Magnum and shoot him in the head at close range.

2) Chuck a bowling ball at his head.

3) Get a sledgehammer and swing it full force towards a certain sensitive area of a man. From then on get a reputation as the "Nutcracker".

4) Threaten to cut off his dick and feed it to a house pet of your choice.

5) Buy a full grown green anaconda, put it in the fucker's bed, then let it do the work as it slowly drains the poor sap out of his breath and crushes him.

I like the way you think, Kryst. You have some very good ideas... :proud:
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Did you think up all of these?

I laughed out loud at #2....I could totally visualize that in my head, it would be so funny and you would look like a complete psycho XD
I found these online actually. I'm still sick with the flu, so my brain isn't as superpowered as it usually is in order to exact my revenge on people who piss me off. But why reinvent the wheel when there are more than enough ideas on the interweb!!!!! I loled at most of them as well.

I'm seeing a different guy in their condo and I always wonder what's going to happen when he sees me walk out of that apartment some morning... Maybe he'll get the hint??
 

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Well here is my simple solution tell your friend that his roommate creeps you out and you don't want to go over there unless that changes. Then don't go over there. Come up with alternatives. I don't think he is necessarily in the right but, it is his place too!

Because if I were him the opposite could happen I would say " Golly that female friend Krystray is rude I don't want her here" I pay xxxx amount and she must go." Just as a perspective.
 

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Ok... If three are your friends you tell all three you want them to help you tell him to leave you alone. If not you don't go over there.

Or take the really immature route and you could go to a cheap t-shirt place. Make a shirt that says _____ is Creepy!

Or just write a note how you feel.
 

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How about these suggestions:

1) Buy a .357 Smith & Wesson Magnum and shoot him in the head at close range.

2) Chuck a bowling ball at his head.

3) Get a sledgehammer and swing it full force towards a certain sensitive area of a man. From then on get a reputation as the "Nutcracker".

4) Threaten to cut off his dick and feed it to a house pet of your choice.

5) Buy a full grown green anaconda, put it in the fucker's bed, then let it do the work as it slowly drains the poor sap out of his breath and crushes him.

I like the way you think, Kryst. You have some very good ideas... :proud:
Yeah, I think that she's trying to avoid jail champ.
 

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You could just say, "stop being so damn creepy!" in front of other people, most people will stop persisting if they will be socially hurt by whatever they are doing. I'm guessing he's already gotten the hint, he just doesn't care >.>
 

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Whenever I go to one of my friend's house, his roommate tries to hit on me. I've made it clear that I am completely emotionally unavailable (for him), but he still always tries to sit next to me, ::yawn and stretch:: the arm to go around me, and hangs out with us uninvited. Granted, it is his house too, but how do I kindly give him the hint that I'd like to spend my platonic friendship with my friend and NOT him? I talked to my friend about it and he's about ready to kill himself too. This guy just gives off the creepy vibe. I slept over one night and Bryan (my friend) told me that he woke up in the middle of the night to find his roommate staring at us. Weird!!!! Anyway, here are some fun ways that I have found to annoy him/drive him crazy/scare the hell out of him.


1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to
him before he goes to class/ work.

2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back to far, and
fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then,
one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing,
get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore"

3. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on. Pretend to read
without one when the lights are out, remarking ever so often how great the
book is.

4. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf
for about fifteen minutes. Then. pretend to wipe out and fall off the
bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate
comes over to rescue you.

5. Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes everyday.
Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of
ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the
empty cage and tell him/her, "I was hungry."

6. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug in the
toaster. Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain
that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests
plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire safety.

7. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you are going
away to "find yourself". Leave, and come back in about ten minutes.
If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard person to find.

8. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell
him something, go to another room and call him on the phone.

9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of
water. When he brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go
to sleep. If he ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie
on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making gagging
sounds, until he gets it for you.

10. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and
begin to violently slam dance with your roommate. If he asks
about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist."

11. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it.
Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see
you again."

12. Get a can of beans. Label them "jumping beans". Eat them, and then
jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them "Dancing
beans". Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can,
and Label it "Kill your roommate beans". Eat them, smiling at your
roommate.

13. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then
wake him up and say, "Ok, it's time for you to go to bed now."

14. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge of Allegiance" with
you every morning.

15. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books all the time. Eventually, think up
melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your
roommate. If he tells you to stop, act offended and spend the
day in bed.

16. Put up traffic signs around the house. If your roommate doesn't obey
them, give him tickets. Confiscate something you roommate owns
until he pays the tickets.

17. Walk, talk and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate
inquires, tell him, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."

18. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been
bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to fix them.

19. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate
dying in a car crash," and "Roommate getting whacked in the head
with a shovel." Comment often on how much you love these paintings.

20. Wear glasses and complain that you can never see anything. Bump
into walls and floors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's
That?"every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing
the glasses, act like you can see fine.

21. Buy a lava lamp. Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements
with your face. Explain to your roommate that you have established a
connection with the spirit world through the lava lamp, and tell
your roommate that, "Grandma say's hi!"

22. Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your
collection of "inert gasses". Look at them often. One day, act
surprised and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released
one of the gasses. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.

23. Wear scary Halloween masks. Look in the mirror and scream
hysterically for about five minutes every time you put one on.

24. Roller skate up and down the hallway. Every time you see your
roommate, crash into him and knock him down. Apologize and
say that he, "looked like the enemy."

25. Put headphones on your roommate while he is sleeping, and
subliminally teach him to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and
memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.

26. Stick you head out the window, but forget to open it, so that your
head crashes through the glass. Then say, "SILLY ME," open the
window again, and try to stick your head through. Act like you hit your
head on something and fall to the ground in pain.

27. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you
upon sight If he refuses, insist that he do 100 push-ups. Keep
saying thins like, "your momma isn't here to take care of you
anymore!"

28. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add
to it, and say things like, "in a little while I'll have enough for
that sailboat!"

29. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into
the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate
inquires, refuse to discuss the situation and say, "It's between me
and the bunny."

30. Spread toothpicks all over the floor. Stare at them, acting like
you're trying to read something. Tell your roommate it's a message
from God, but you're not sure whether it's a warning about a loved
one in danger or a recipe for really great chili.


The Crazy Guy

If you’re lucky, you’ll wind up with an easily categorized roommate. If God hates you, however, you might end up with The Crazy Guy. He’s the kind with the strange tics who never responds to your attempts to drive him away. Ousting The Crazy Guy can be quite a chore. Usually, no matter what kind of irritation you throw at him he springs back with something equally aggravating. Don’t give up hope. You’ll just have to one-up him at every creepy quirk.

Ousting the Crazy Guy

-Assault his belongings.

-Start hoarding his stuff.

-Take his food while he’s sleeping.

-Buy a label gun and start sticking your name to all his stuff.

-Develop odd tics.

-Start squawking like a bird uncontrollably.

-Perch on your desk chair like it’s a branch and start pecking at the keyboard with your face. If he asks you about your behavior, return to normal and insist you don’t know what he’s talking about.

-Start taking showers that last an hour or more.

-Use your computer for nothing but porn.

-Always hunch over the keyboard like a hungry animal.

-Follow him wherever he goes.

-Stare him down when he talks to you.

-Make it appear that his eyes are hypnotic.

-Develop night terrors. Scream and thrash in your sleep.

-Don’t let anyone ever take pictures of you; cameras steal your soul.

-Develop a sweet tooth and always ask him if he could perhaps spare a caramel or maybe some delicious chocolates?

-Make diseases the topic of every conversation.

-Start wearing his clothes.

If none of this works, you’ll have to just kill him.

Remember, no one has feelings but you. Don’t worry about hurting your terrible roommates; they need to learn how to not suck so badly. Drive them out and live happy.
So THERE'S the ESTJ's tert-Ne. :laughing:

In all seriousness though, you can't really get rid of someone else's roommate. :mellow:

And #6 and #9 reminded me of my mother.
#16 sounds like you. :tongue:
 

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Hahhaahah...This is awesome.

How did this not work?
 

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I think someone got me out of a shared house using most of these. Or maybe he really was just fucking weird. Staring into a transistor radio while Scooby Doo was on type of weird. Really weird.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
So I went to the Orlando Surf and Swim show over the weekend and I got a TON of surf stickers, tee-shirts, posters, you name it and gave them to my friend. We were putting everything on his walls when Freako decides to stop playing WOW and lay on his bed and stare at my ass while I'm in a dress. Fun times. He interjects himself into our inside jokes and conversations. I just kind of ignore him. I did find out that his name IS on the lease, so I don't think he's going anywhere anytime soon. I can only hope he sees me walking out of the other guy's condo on his way to school sometime. HOPE! I think that would be less awkward than me bitching him out and then still hanging out at his house.
 

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How do you tell someone that they're creepy?
You say.... "Hey asshole you're creepy"
Just tell him, are you seriously concerned about what he thinks?
 
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