Ok, here goes...
Hi, I'm Arutha28. I'm an ISTJ and I'd like some advice on how to find a young woman to start a relationship with. I'm 19 years old and haven't had a grilfriend. I have asked girls out in the past (just 3 :blushed , but no successess, and I've never really had any experience in looking for someone to start a relationship with.
I currently have a couple of personal rules when it comes to dating:
1. I won't date someone who lives outside of my state (I'm from Australia btw)
This is because I love my family and I love spending time with them. Dating someone from another state would limit how much I get to see them, and I'd eventually have to choose between her state or mine :sad:.
2. I won't date anyone who works in/studies the exact same (or near enough to) field as I do.
I study for a degree in Computer Science at my University, so I won't date anyone studying the same degree, or one that's extremely similar to it (e.g. Computer Graphics). However, I could date someone studying, as an example, an Engineering Maths degree.
This may seem stupid, but my reasons are: if we study different things we would have more interest in what the other is doing, and learn more from each other, than if we studied the same thing. Also, later down the track, we won't compete professionally (e.g. go for the same job, have one of us at a higher position in the industry than the other).
I may flex these rules at a later date, but for now I like them in place.
Please note that these aren't the only things I consider when choosing a possible girlfriend (I also like similar age, some common interests, etc), these are just my personal 2 definite rules.
The second rule makes it harder for me to find someone while at my University, since I currently don't socialise with people outside my degree (not a rule, just me being shy :wink.
I guess I'm just not sure on how to go about finding that special someone. I'm not the type of person who can just go to bars on my own, and I don't want to ask my friends to come along just for my benefit. Even if I did, I'm not sure that I'd have much success. I like to know more about who I might be asking out before I actually do it, knowledge about what kind of person they are, more than what they like. Bars are just not my scene.
My parents suggested knowing someone as a friend already, before pursuing them romantically, but I'm afraid that I'll start friendships just so I can ask them out some time, and I'll end up with a whole lot of female friends and no girlfriend. (Although you can't have too many friends)
My social circle is really small, although I'm trying to expand it this semester, so I'm not sure that a friend-of-a-friend suggestion is likely to occur.
Basically, I just want some advice. If you've been in a similar situation, or if you just have some thoughts to give, that's great. All advice is welcome (though perhaps not all advice will be accepted).
PS: In case you can't tell, I don't get out much. (I probably should)
Also, you should know that I don't have a car. I have to borrow one of my parents' cars if I want to go somewhere.
Thanks for reading this far, and sorry for the long post.
Hi, I'm Arutha28. I'm an ISTJ and I'd like some advice on how to find a young woman to start a relationship with. I'm 19 years old and haven't had a grilfriend. I have asked girls out in the past (just 3 :blushed , but no successess, and I've never really had any experience in looking for someone to start a relationship with.
I currently have a couple of personal rules when it comes to dating:
1. I won't date someone who lives outside of my state (I'm from Australia btw)
This is because I love my family and I love spending time with them. Dating someone from another state would limit how much I get to see them, and I'd eventually have to choose between her state or mine :sad:.
2. I won't date anyone who works in/studies the exact same (or near enough to) field as I do.
I study for a degree in Computer Science at my University, so I won't date anyone studying the same degree, or one that's extremely similar to it (e.g. Computer Graphics). However, I could date someone studying, as an example, an Engineering Maths degree.
This may seem stupid, but my reasons are: if we study different things we would have more interest in what the other is doing, and learn more from each other, than if we studied the same thing. Also, later down the track, we won't compete professionally (e.g. go for the same job, have one of us at a higher position in the industry than the other).
I may flex these rules at a later date, but for now I like them in place.
Please note that these aren't the only things I consider when choosing a possible girlfriend (I also like similar age, some common interests, etc), these are just my personal 2 definite rules.
The second rule makes it harder for me to find someone while at my University, since I currently don't socialise with people outside my degree (not a rule, just me being shy :wink.
I guess I'm just not sure on how to go about finding that special someone. I'm not the type of person who can just go to bars on my own, and I don't want to ask my friends to come along just for my benefit. Even if I did, I'm not sure that I'd have much success. I like to know more about who I might be asking out before I actually do it, knowledge about what kind of person they are, more than what they like. Bars are just not my scene.
My parents suggested knowing someone as a friend already, before pursuing them romantically, but I'm afraid that I'll start friendships just so I can ask them out some time, and I'll end up with a whole lot of female friends and no girlfriend. (Although you can't have too many friends)
My social circle is really small, although I'm trying to expand it this semester, so I'm not sure that a friend-of-a-friend suggestion is likely to occur.
Basically, I just want some advice. If you've been in a similar situation, or if you just have some thoughts to give, that's great. All advice is welcome (though perhaps not all advice will be accepted).
PS: In case you can't tell, I don't get out much. (I probably should)
Also, you should know that I don't have a car. I have to borrow one of my parents' cars if I want to go somewhere.
Thanks for reading this far, and sorry for the long post.