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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My ESTJ grandma has had a problem with hoarding for the past ten years. The family has decided we need to do something because it is starting to interfere with her life. There is no longer any room to prepare a meal or sit at the dining room table.

We thought we might try to help her ourselves before seeking professional help. Everything we've read says to never just throw away her stuff. She must decide to throw it out herself.

We have started by suggesting she could donate all the cookbooks (she must have a hundred) that she never uses to a library. She said yes, that's a good idea, but that was months ago and she still hasn't done it.

Do any of you have experience with hoarding? Any suggestions for approaching an ESTJ about it?
 

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Good luck with that one... She's probably set in her ways. We don't like change and we have a reason for everything we do. If she's rationalized that she needs to keep all her stuff, its going to be hard to get her to change her mind. Tell her that she should donate it to people in need who will appreciate her kindness in giving it to them... Or, do what my mom does. Anytime her husband leaves the house, she throws something out (or tells me to do it- outside garbage). They won't even realize its gone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Tell her that she should donate it to people in need who will appreciate her kindness in giving it to them...
This is a good strategy, I'm going to give this a try next time I talk to her. Thanks.

We have considered just throwing her stuff out little by little, but everything we've read advises against it. She's still as sharp as a tack, and she knows exactly what she owns and were the items are located, even though they're under a pile of junk. If the previous plan doesn't work, though, this is at least worth a try.
 

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How you know she is ESTJ?? She might be an ISTJ. Cause ISTJs have the strongest Si
 

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How you know she is ESTJ?? She might be an ISTJ. Cause ISTJs have the strongest Si
This is a good thought, but it's like a spark goes off whenever she is around people. Her mouth is rarely shut. She'll start talking right over people in the middle of their sentence, and it's never a short explanation. You sometimes have to politely close the door on her or hang up the phone on her in order to escape. :wink: She also pushes her ideas and opinions onto others on a regualr basis. She seems to love interacting with people, as she is always out socializing. She regularaly stikes up a conversation with strangers when she's out shopping for more stuff.:crazy: We always get to hear the stories of who see met at the store. To me, she seems to be a strong E.

From what I've read, hoarding doesn't go hand in hand with personality. It is actually genetic, and her father was a hoarder. Plus, she grew up during the depression, so she learned to keep things just in case you need them later. She's had some stressful life events (death of friends and family), and apparently this can trigger the need to hoard.

I was just wondering if there was anything specific we could do in approaching an ESTJ about it. We'd like for her to realize that it's not healthy to have all of this stuff, but at the same time we don't want to offend her by pointing out that she has a problem.
 
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