[kylee]

Hey, I'm a little new here. I have a friend at work, ISTJ, who's fitting a lot of the classic tendencies I read about. He's just recently begun having severe anxiety and panic attacks.

I know the important thing is he get help, he is doing that, and I believe he's starting to take medication. I'm not trying to "fix" anything, I know he has to do that himself with his family & professional help. I just care about him and want to know how to befriend him appropriately through this difficult time for him?

 

[niss]

Be normal and be yourself. If you act like that there isn't a problem, that will focus more attention on the problem. Deal with it rationally and in a factual manner.

 

[kylee]

Be normal and be yourself. If you act like that there isn't a problem, that will focus more attention on the problem. Deal with it rationally and in a factual manner.

Thanks niss that does make sense. I know I said I'm not trying to "fix" anything but it is my personality to desperately *want* to fix, I am trying not to be that way! I have already been trying to act as you say. It is hard for me to see someone hurting so much, and not do something. I am INTJ but sometimes test as INFJ and that damn F can really get me.

It is never simple. He considers me a friend and mentor and has told me so, which I take as very special coming from an ISTJ. I mentioned he is a work colleague. I may be being put in as his supervisor. Don't know if that will make a difference or not.

 

[Sunflower]

Don't "crowd" him with your friendship, but let him know that you are there if he wants you to help. Not specifically, just a general "I'm here if you need anything" kind of vibe. Just being understanding and not pushing him to talk about it but willing to listen if he wants to open up.

But as Niss said, don't point out the problem - especially in public - he will possibly distance himself from you. Just be friendly and understanding. :happy:

 

[Sunrain]

Direct him here: healing-anxiety.com - Freedom from Fear Recovery Program (it's a programme explaining anxiety and panic attacks in a really logical helpful un-worried way)

Apart from that, I'd say be factual, don't worry about him, because he doesn't need people worrying about him when he's worried about himself.. it's reassuring to know that other people believe you are/will be fine, be reliable, just be there.