Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 21 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi all, I'm new on this forum. But I knew this Personality Cafe from a year ago, sometimes I read it when I need some clue.

So, here we go. I am an INFJ and I have a crush since 3 years ago, mm maybe not a crush but I'm her secret admirer.
We were just acquaintance, so we were not close but sometimes we talked a little bit. These past 3 months she came into my life when I already move to different city. We text sometimes, and we already met twice to talk a lot about our life, and share some stories.. our deep stories. But still, she doesn't know what I feel.

Lately sometimes we text each other, like once a week. But as an INFJ somehow I can tell she already lose interest in me (because she rarely text me first, and when I text randomly she only read it), or I just being sensitive, I don't know. I still want to keep my feeling, next week I want to take her to our first date (maybe first date, or maybe we just meet and talk), but I want to impress her.
Do you have any advice for me? like, how to impress INTJ Female?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,177 Posts
I'll answer same as the rest of them. Why impress? Be yourself because you won't sustain something unreal in the long run. If she loves you, she loves you. At least she'll love the real you not an illusion of you


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,809 Posts
heh. 'as an intj' i think it's fair to say i can usually feel it when someone is trying to 'impress' me and it makes me very uncomfortable. don't do it, would be my advice.

you'll probably both be more comfortable and have more fun if you try to get to know her, imo. and allow her to take her own pace and choose her own ways of getting acquainted with you. i think that will work out better than you trying to force a specific impression of you down her throat.

gl with it. i know that i do always really hate it when people keep trying to tell me what i should think of them. i like to have enough peace and quiet to be able to work that one out by myself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
True. One can quickly sense by the body language and tone, if the other person is sucking up to them or not. Not texting first and replying to every message is normal. If nothing important is to say, you won't get a reply. Nothing too concerning, IMO.

Impressing, that would be coming out as relaxed and confident. Don't be shallow or hyped fangirl, trying to talk too much or too loudly. Get her to laugh and develop equal dialogue. You'll quickly see the responses if they're short responses in bored tone or enthusiastic discussion.
The brick wall can be hit at discussing your feelings. You could have a great time, but still learn nothing about how she feels about you, beyond friendship. IDK, maybe it's easier for women about that subject, it's not for me.
 

·
Registered
ENTJ; 8w7; Persian C
Joined
·
9,469 Posts
I was rendezvous'ing with an INFJ™ humanoid for a bit - and she and I both were relatively 'interesting' / 'impressive' to one another by simply being ourselves. She was a nerdish femme biology major. That was enough for me. Stuck in her head (&) flaky. Lots of long-winded (Ni)-incest happening that was enough for us both.

I just wish she weren't so flaky - and a tad more direct; in a sense her (Fe) blocked much of the interpersonal 'sense of self', I was somewhat intrigued by. There was always a (Fe)-disconnect occurring while having high-functioning "depth," all at once. Odd humanoid. I like INFJ™. Not sure if I were "getting to know," some imaginary sense of self, like they are discussing someone else - [(F)-humanoids seem to go into a 'trance'-like state] when they get into deep / interal affairs, I was rather perplexed at what she were "hinting," at internally in correlation to herself. I am rather clueless around hints; do not send hints. For the love of god, do not send me a hint. Body language - is sufficient, but no hints. And, indeed, you will be exceedingly disappointed (2)-week(s) later when I did not register this 'hint'. Many (NF) specimens only prefer communicative-stimulus via advanced telepathetic [brain] frequencies. In spite of (Ni-cest), this does not work.

I do not much mind your (Fe); it is somewhat ("cute") when the specimen attempts to impress; although it has no real effect on me. Like, you did that just to be 'intriguing/impressive' to myself (???) Unnecessary, but cute, a darling nonetheless. Some specimen(s), especially male-humanoids just have that need. I am easily entertained (&) easily bored; however, I also like specimen(s) that try -- even if it is not my usual cup of tea. You care. You have my attention now; even if you utilized the incorrect ingredients. If I am sufficiently underwelmed/unimpressed, it is unlikely a follow-up will commence. If your (Fe) is you -- then keep it, it serves some utility.

As for the rest of it, you can show not so fancy (but still enough to go out somewhere normal). That is adorable. I like adorable specimen(s) & not over the top. I do not plan traditionally / formal dates the first time around. I wish for easy-settings but ultimately a nice outing, I will plan everything. Leave the the hardwork to me. I am there to rendezvous (&) listen (&) learn; not be sweeped away. I may fancy sticking around a tad, leave the brooms in the closet. I am not ready to be blown anywhere [just yet].
 

·
Registered
INTJ 5w4
Joined
·
6,476 Posts
I was rendezvous'ing with an INFJ™ humanoid for a bit - and she and I both were relatively 'interesting' / 'impressive' to one another by simply being ourselves. She was a nerdish femme biology major. That was enough for me. Stuck in her head (&) flaky. Lots of long-winded (Ni)-incest happening that was enough for us both.

I just wish she weren't so flaky - and a tad more direct; in a sense her (Fe) blocked much of the interpersonal 'sense of self', I was somewhat intrigued by. There was always a (Fe)-disconnect occurring while having high-functioning "depth," all at once. Odd humanoid. I like INFJ™. Not sure if I were "getting to know," some imaginary sense of self, like they are discussing someone else - [(F)-humanoids seem to go into a 'trance'-like state] when they get into deep / interal affairs, I was rather perplexed at what she were "hinting," at internally in correlation to herself. I am rather clueless around hints; do not send hints. For the love of god, do not send me a hint. Body language - is sufficient, but no hints. And, indeed, you will be exceedingly disappointed (2)-week(s) later when I did not register this 'hint'. Many (NF) specimens only prefer communicative-stimulus via advanced telepathetic [brain] frequencies. In spite of (Ni-cest), this does not work.

I do not much mind your (Fe); it is somewhat ("cute") when the specimen attempts to impress; although it has no real effect on me. Like, you did that just to be 'intriguing/impressive' to myself (???) Unnecessary, but cute, a darling nonetheless. Some specimen(s), especially male-humanoids just have that need. I am easily entertained (&) easily bored; however, I also like specimen(s) that try -- even if it is not my usual cup of tea. You care. You have my attention now; even if you utilized the incorrect ingredients. If I am sufficiently underwelmed/unimpressed, it is unlikely a follow-up will commence. If your (Fe) is you -- then keep it, it serves some utility.

As for the rest of it, you can show not so fancy (but still enough to go out somewhere normal). That is adorable. I like adorable specimen(s) & not over the top. I do not plan traditionally / formal dates the first time around. I wish for easy-settings but ultimately a nice outing, I will plan everything. Leave the the hardwork to me. I am there to rendezvous (&) listen (&) learn; not be sweeped away. I may fancy sticking around a tad, leave the brooms in the closet. I am not ready to be blown anywhere [just yet].
...you've loosened up. (slow confirmatory nod)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
I was rendezvous'ing with an INFJ™ humanoid for a bit - and she and I both were relatively 'interesting' / 'impressive' to one another by simply being ourselves. She was a nerdish femme biology major. That was enough for me. Stuck in her head (&) flaky. Lots of long-winded (Ni)-incest happening that was enough for us both.

I just wish she weren't so flaky - and a tad more direct; in a sense her (Fe) blocked much of the interpersonal 'sense of self', I was somewhat intrigued by. There was always a (Fe)-disconnect occurring while having high-functioning "depth," all at once. Odd humanoid. I like INFJ™. Not sure if I were "getting to know," some imaginary sense of self, like they are discussing someone else - [(F)-humanoids seem to go into a 'trance'-like state] when they get into deep / interal affairs, I was rather perplexed at what she were "hinting," at internally in correlation to herself. I am rather clueless around hints; do not send hints. For the love of god, do not send me a hint. Body language - is sufficient, but no hints. And, indeed, you will be exceedingly disappointed (2)-week(s) later when I did not register this 'hint'. Many (NF) specimens only prefer communicative-stimulus via advanced telepathetic [brain] frequencies. In spite of (Ni-cest), this does not work.

I do not much mind your (Fe); it is somewhat ("cute") when the specimen attempts to impress; although it has no real effect on me. Like, you did that just to be 'intriguing/impressive' to myself (???) Unnecessary, but cute, a darling nonetheless. Some specimen(s), especially male-humanoids just have that need. I am easily entertained (&) easily bored; however, I also like specimen(s) that try -- even if it is not my usual cup of tea. You care. You have my attention now; even if you utilized the incorrect ingredients. If I am sufficiently underwelmed/unimpressed, it is unlikely a follow-up will commence. If your (Fe) is you -- then keep it, it serves some utility.

As for the rest of it, you can show not so fancy (but still enough to go out somewhere normal). That is adorable. I like adorable specimen(s) & not over the top. I do not plan traditionally / formal dates the first time around. I wish for easy-settings but ultimately a nice outing, I will plan everything. Leave the the hardwork to me. I am there to rendezvous (&) listen (&) learn; not be sweeped away. I may fancy sticking around a tad, leave the brooms in the closet. I am not ready to be blown anywhere [just yet].
Wow, so loud and clear. Thanks for the clue because I'm so clueless about INTJ.
Maybe I've tried too hard, but next time I'll be myself.
I really don't expect to have any "relationship" with her, but it's ok to be her good friend.
One question, is it ok if I tell her about my feeling? Or she will losing interest and pull herself if I tell her?
I don't want to give her clue or some codes but somehow I just wanna her to know. Is it ok to say it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,053 Posts

·
Delphic Seer
Joined
·
18,076 Posts
The following elements represent a formidable combination:

  • Authenticity
  • Depth
  • Intellectuality
  • Sincerity
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,723 Posts
The only first dates that I've been impressed with are the ones where I already had a pretty bad crush on that person and he just....showed up. I'm having trouble picturing how that feeling could be recreated in the absence of a pre-existing crush.
 

·
Registered
ENTJ; 8w7; Persian C
Joined
·
9,469 Posts
Wow, so loud and clear. Thanks for the clue because I'm so clueless about INTJ.
Maybe I've tried too hard, but next time I'll be myself.
I really don't expect to have any "relationship" with her, but it's ok to be her good friend.
One question, is it ok if I tell her about my feeling? Or she will losing interest and pull herself if I tell her?
I don't want to give her clue or some codes but somehow I just wanna her to know. Is it ok to say it?
Be patient (&) learn your woman. Not the INTJ-humanoid(s) function stack; but the woman in your presence. As a (Ni/Se-humanoid), you will know [what to do/say]; when the time is correct.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
Hi all, I'm new on this forum. But I knew this Personality Cafe from a year ago, sometimes I read it when I need some clue.

So, here we go. I am an INFJ and I have a crush since 3 years ago, mm maybe not a crush but I'm her secret admirer.
We were just acquaintance, so we were not close but sometimes we talked a little bit. These past 3 months she came into my life when I already move to different city. We text sometimes, and we already met twice to talk a lot about our life, and share some stories.. our deep stories. But still, she doesn't know what I feel.

Lately sometimes we text each other, like once a week. But as an INFJ somehow I can tell she already lose interest in me (because she rarely text me first, and when I text randomly she only read it), or I just being sensitive, I don't know. I still want to keep my feeling, next week I want to take her to our first date (maybe first date, or maybe we just meet and talk), but I want to impress her.
Do you have any advice for me? like, how to impress INTJ Female?
check your emotions... they should match how much you know about her, not what you think you know.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
41 Posts
What comes to mind is something low-key that does not require in-depth personal questions and answers, like an interview haha. But that's just me! Clearly small talk would be essential initially, but at some point you should mention something that fascinates you, or something you thought about the world, or an idea that excites you, etc and yes, an INTJ would pick up that you are trying to impress them and would probably not enjoy that as much as being authentic.
 
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
Top