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Hi,
I just want to share to story in a couple of words and get some advise because I do not know what to do.
My boyfriend and I are living together for 4 months. Recently I noticed that he became cold and aggressive to me sometimes.
When people become cold and aggressive, for seemingly no reason, and you mention none here, then you simply MUST ask them why they are suddenly cold and aggressive. If you can't do that, you ARE NOT ready to be in any relationship.

Relationships REQUIRE communication. It's not an option in a healthy relationship. Further, if you can't communicate to other people, you have serious maturity and confidence issues. It is likely that you are letting fear run your life.

And I hear the messages are constantly coming to his phone.Maybe I'm too jealous and paranoid but I think he's cheating...
There is NOTHING specific in this wording. Unless you have specific evidence to suggest he is cheating, it is too great an accusation to lead with. Still, I BELIEVE in intuition. If your gut is screaming at you that he is cheating, maybe something like that is correct. That means maybe he IS entertaining other options. Are you in a committed relationship? Living together IS NOT a guarantee of that. You have to use your words, communicate, and get him to SAY and seem to mean, that you are in a committed relationship with him. If he will not do this, then you have your explanation right there. A TON of guys I knew about in college practiced that kind of misdirection on women all the time. They LET the woman think they were interested by actions SHE thought meant he was. But there was never any formal agreement. Other people knew, the two were just roommates. Your way of NOT COMMUNICATING is imprisoning you in a world of silence, a world of lies. Communicating openly with everyone will help you escape this prison you have chosen.

I can't talk to him about it cause I don't know for sure,
Yes, you CAN and SHOULD talk to him. And certainty is not ever possible. You MUST learn to live comfortably with doubt.

maybe it's only my imagination and he will be even more mad at me.
Regardless of whether or not he is mad or more mad, if your intuition tells you something, you should address it in communication. A mature partner will understand. If he has a too harsh reaction, that is not good on his part.

Found a lot of info on how to spy on him with a lot of different spying tools. They kind of help to read the messages on his phone secretly but I don't know whether it's worth it.
Spying reflects poorly on you. It is not a moral aim. It is never 'worth it'.

Or maybe you have other options what to do?
But please, don't write "just talk to him" cause it's not so easy for me.:( I won't do it till I'm sure that he has an affair.
You ask us here not to ask you to do, EXACTLY what you are well aware you SHOULD do. Talk to him, now!
 

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Cheaters like to cheat but are extra hypersensitive when it comes to people cheating on them. I've known quiet a few "bi-sexual" women who I considered to be "friends" a decade ago. Not a single one stayed loyal to their "significant others". I don't know what it is or if their moral compass is simply screwed up to begin with. I just know I couldn't care less about them now.
 

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Get in a car and follow him like a total normal person. Wait for when he's no longer near his phone and go through it. Go through his personal shit. Talk to everyone he knows.

Or maybe, just confront him. And if you still think he's lying, save yourself the trouble and just leave. Maybe you're paranoid, maybe you're not paranoid. But I don't really see this working out either way. Whether he's cheating or not cheating. The fact that trust is missing makes this a fruitless venture and a waste of both your time.
 
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