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I can't help still feeling completely head-over-heels for an ESTP that I've been close friends with for the past, seven years? When we were younger as teenagers, we spent a lot of time together and teased by everyone for how much time we always spent together, or sometimes how flirty we would be. Our mutual friends and even adults that would meet him would say he liked me, but I never believed it;; Never any confessions, we never said anything about our feelings save for "I love you"s and things like, "you're my favorite person in the world" and "you're one in a million" -- things like that.

I remember there would be a lot of confusing moments, like us play-wrestling and cuddling next to each other, him bossing everyone else around to make sure we would always be paired together, but then suddenly he would act very coldly to me and maybe not say things in the most gentle way, or would leave to do his own thing with other people.


A couple of years ago I moved away, and when I told him, he didn't sound so nice about it -- especially after I mentioned it was to be with someone. I didn't message him for a long period of time until very recently, in which it was a message just out of the blue telling him my feelings for him and how much I wished I wasn't so shy, and how I wanted nothing more but to have been able to sleep with him. He responded with how gorgeous he thinks I am, and that he would have slept with me in a heartbeat if he didn't feel like he would have been taking advantage.

Now and then, we still text. We seem to only message each other when there's something that reminds us of the other -- finding stuff we had written out together, having a dream, etc. The messages are always very sweet, he has nothing to say but puts things in such a nice way, always using "us" and "we", how we should act out on any of our ideas of becoming best-selling novelists together or running away to join a parkour circus for enlightenment. All these things are very humorous and random, but I can't help feeling butterflies in my tummy to this day, when he talks about us leaving our lives to do something together -- just me and him -- even if it is just joking;; Ugh, I've got it bad!


For the past year, he's been planning to move out to Europe with friends this October. But when I told him very recently there would be no way I could make it out to see him before he left until January (for a family event), he quickly told me that it works out since he won't be leaving now until mid-January? My friends say he's lying and just wants to get into my pants, but I don't even know if he could still feel that way about me;;

Also, is there anything I can do to make myself ... more likable? :blushed:
 
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