Personality Cafe banner
1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,735 Posts
He does things for you and dotes on you. At least, I do that for people I love.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,951 Posts
Well, being in a relationship with an ISTJ, I can say that it was definitely not easy to perceive the signals he sent. (before our relationship started) He tells me now that he had no intention to send mixed signals but if I ask him: "What did you feel/think at that particular time in the past?" or "Why did you act like that?", he says something like: I'm not quite sure what I felt/ It came naturally for me to act like that.
The thing is, for us, INFJs (crazy Ni people), the image of how psychological processes cause behaviours is quite well defined. For Si users, it is a bit different. However, what I am trying to say is that they might show signals of closeness/warmth and withdrawal/etc. until they make up their mind about how they feel or about what they really want. He will pick a side in the end and then it will probably be clear. My ISTJ is very clear now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
144 Posts
If he's sending mixed signals, it's because he's trying to work up the courage to do something about how he feels. Ask him about his feelings for you, but do not be confrontational about it. For ISTJs, revealing our feelings is something that we do only reluctantly, because we feel so vulnerable while doing it. Make it clear to him that he's safe expressing his feelings to you. If he feels that he can't tell the truth because it will damage your relationship with him, he won't. Take it slow, and give him time. If you try to rush him or push him, he might panic and withdraw.

That said, don't be afraid to ask him. If you don't, you might never find out, because ISTJs are the masters of not telling people that they're interested because they're too scared to.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sela

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,529 Posts
That said, don't be afraid to ask him. If you don't, you might never find out, because ISTJs are the masters of not telling people that they're interested because they're too scared to.
We're also masters at concealing our feelings as well. You will have to directly ask if you want to know.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top